Focusing On Your Future, Not Your Past

All people react to events in life very differently. Sometimes things happen in life that can change you and those around you forever, but it's really how you deal with these things that says a lot about who you are. Another factor here is where you place your focus. It can be easy to dwell on the past, and get stuck wondering what might have been, but is that really what you should do? Here are some ways you can practice self-care by focusing on your future, not on your past.

Transcript

All people react to events in life very differently.

Sometimes things happen in life that can change you and those around you forever,

But it's really how you deal with these things that says a lot about who you are.

Another factor here is where you place your focus.

It can be easy to dwell on the past and get stuck wondering what might have been.

But is that really what you want to do?

So let's think about some ways that you can work on focusing on your future and not on your past.

So let's start by thinking about how you're still here.

When it comes to reflecting on past events,

There's one thing that you can always find some appreciation for.

You're still here.

That means that whatever has come before you,

Whether it's a massive obstacle or even a defeat,

That event did not end you.

You're still here.

And that says a lot about how resilient you can be.

It's important to realize that people are remarkably good at coming out on top of what they might find themselves up against.

The fact that you can even listen to this right now is a true testimony to that.

You might want to know what comes next and that's completely normal.

But really the next steps are to try to find more things that you can be happy about.

And that's how you practice gratefulness.

The step to really getting grounded and centered would be for you to spend some time focusing on what you are grateful for.

There are lots of ways to do this,

But one of the best would be for you to write it down in a journal.

This would give you the ability to look at a list after you've completed it.

It will also allow you to see everything that you can think of and set your mind to thinking about that instead of the things you wish had taken place in the past.

You can pick 10 of your 15 of your favorite things and make a list of those things a few times a week.

Next you can accept negativity as a lesson.

It can be really frustrating when you put time and effort in certain relationships only to find that that person or persons were never what or who they said they were.

This can be extremely jarring and it might take a long time for you to get over,

But the more effort you make to get over it,

The happier you will be in the long run.

The healthiest way to look at these kinds of things is to treat them the way you would treat a lesson you learned in school.

They're not always the most pleasant,

But you can take what you learned about people in that situation and use it to protect you from similar happenings in the future.

This doesn't mean that you color every interaction with other people with the same feelings towards them as the people you encountered in the past.

It's more about awareness and avoiding giving people the same kind of unchecked power over you and your emotions.

Being completely frozen with fear and building a wall around yourself would be counterproductive.

So you learn to see a better future.

When you start to see yourself in your future in a more positive light,

It's a lot easier to see the possibilities that can be around you.

Instead of thinking about where things went wrong,

You can choose to use past experiences to prepare you for the kinds of things that can go wrong and be ready for them instead of be taken by surprise.

When you have a better outlook on things,

It's a lot easier to attract a more positive,

More positive things in your life.

If you've committed to making a few positive changes in life that can help you achieve goals,

Then it's important to figure out how to lay the path that allows you to get there.

You can do that by planning your goals,

Your future goals with the list.

Keep it in the same journal as your gratitude journal.

So in order to make your goals more solid for yourself,

It's a good idea to keep both lists handy.

This will allow you to see all the things you want each day.

The more focused on those things you become,

The more likely it will be that you are motivated to make sure they come true.

Having the list also means that you can put the goals in an order of what's most important to least important so that you know what you should be spending most of your time pursuing.

And finally distance yourself from toxic people.

This will be the hardest part for a lot of people for sure.

People tie their worth to the amount of relationships they have even when the people in their lives aren't the most positive or supportive people.

This can be a huge impediment to progress both professionally and personally.

The best thing to do is to assess each relationship you have and find out if those friends have been toxic,

Self-esteem damaging people,

Or if they've been good uplifting friends that have helped you to see yourself in a healthier way.

The people you surround yourself with are direct reflection of the relationship that you have built with yourself.

When you think about how you feel about yourself and how well you know yourself,

How do you score on a scale of 1 to 10?

If you feel that you know yourself very well,

But you're on the lower side of how much you like yourself,

Then it might be time to start thinking about how you can build a better relationship with yourself.

So let's take a look at a few ways we can do this.

Stop focusing on the dealings of others.

There are tons of distractions that can be found out in the world,

But some of the worst distractions are those that involve other people.

When it comes to spending too much time focusing and really critiquing the lives of others,

It can be extremely easy to fall into the habit of spending your time concerning yourself with the movements of others.

You may even spend time discussing these things with other people,

But it's important to note that while you're focusing on others,

You're avoiding the work that you can be doing to yourself,

Doing on yourself.

Another side of this is that it might be a manifestation of insecurities that you feel towards yourself due to constant comparing.

The person who is aware of the nuances of how you feel would be you.

And because people can't read the minds of others,

If you feel as though you are constantly scrutinized by others,

It's important to remember that they might not even be aware that you feel any discomfort at all.

Most of the time people are primarily focused on how they are seen by others.

Next,

You learn to forgive people.

It's really hard to make a better relationship with yourself when you carry a lot of baggage from past dealings with people.

Things sometimes happen that can make you feel a little bit sour about having a relationship with others,

But it's important to remember that you don't need to hold on or hold in all of these things.

Let them just be things that happened and move on.

And I know that's easier said than done.

It's been said that forgiving people is more about being healthier for yourself than it is the person that you're forgiving.

This is because holding on to anger and pain will only cause you to feel negatively about a lot of other things in your life and that doesn't do anyone any good.

Once you've forgiven someone completely,

The part of your mind that has been holding on to those toxic thoughts and feelings will be free to focus on better things.

You can use that brain power to think of ways to get great things into your world and just bring positivity around you or to you.

There are a lot of ways to spread positivity and one of the best ways involve doing something for others.

Finally,

Practice positive self-talk.

After you've taken some time to really think about things,

Whether it's been in your journal or making a list,

Make effort to replace anything negative that you may have thought or said to yourself in the past with something more positive.

Talk about your abilities.

Tell your story.

Tell yourself that you can accomplish your goals.

The more you repeat these things to yourself,

The more possible they start to become.

The way you treat yourself in your own mind has a lot more significance than most people give it credit for.

There are times when people might say mean things to themselves out of habit,

Disparage themselves,

Make self-deprecating jokes,

But the consequences of this are much further reaching than I think anyone believes or that the person believes.

Look at yourself.

Positive self-talk is meant to be a reflection of how you feel in your inner world.

When you look at yourself in the mirror,

What do you tell yourself?

This might be the first time you really ever had to think about that question,

But it's one that you should be aware of and how you answer will make a difference to yourself on the daily basis.

Whenever you tell yourself something really negative,

You're repeating powerful mantras that can influence everything about your self-esteem and how you see yourself in the world.

Unfortunately,

It's generally going to be a skewed view if it's always bathed in negativity.

This makes it impossible for you to be able to be aware of yourself completely and it blocks you from being open to others.

When you spend your time saying uplifting things about yourself,

You're going to get a more complete picture of who you are.

This isn't saying that you would avoid dealing with things that you consider false.

It just means that you see a lot more than just those things alone and that makes a world of difference.

Allowing yourself to see yourself completely helps boost your self-confidence.

That's because you are directly acknowledging the things that are good about you instead of focusing on the areas where you feel that you fall short.

If you like,

You can actually write them down into a physical list.

Reflect on each aspect and think about the times in your life where those attributes have helped you overcome something or solve a problem.

You probably be amazed at how many ways you've been able to get past things using your own natural talents.

If you've come this far on what you know now,

Then imagine how well things can go when you continue to learn and improve yourself.

So it also it helps to see a positive future when you are giving yourself positive self-talk.

Are you a fast learner?

Do you solve problems quickly?

Having a better outlook will always make it easier for you to see yourself in making accomplishments no matter how small it is.

As you go through life,

You're able to meet each objection that your inner critic throws at you with more confident self-talk.

You can tell that part of your mind to be quiet.

Do whatever you need to to move past those financial or monetary doubts.

Whatever is holding you back positive self-talk will enable you to see a more positive outcome in the future because you're able to cut the negative talk out almost immediately.

And also it helps reduce stress.

Positive self-talk is really important because it helps you to keep your stress level under control.

Stress can be paralyzing.

It comes in the form of migraines,

Chest pains,

And it can be debilitating for some people,

But it doesn't have to be.

When you start to feel overwhelmed,

Pull out a sheet of paper,

Write things down that you want.

You can tell I'm a huge lister and writer.

So,

But sometimes it can be easier to put goals that you know you can achieve in the short term and all of your energy into crushing those goals.

I'm a firm believer that seeing it on paper can make it more realistic and you know that it's one day at a time versus it having to happen all at once.

You find yourself being more relaxed and really more ready to take on those bigger tasks and goals.

It's important to remember that things won't always be perfect when you're trying to get over your past and move towards the future.

There are all kinds of little snags that can push you back into your old timeline that can push you and just really keep you from completing the things here in the now that you're so ready to achieve.

It's important to stay level-headed though,

Because when you spin out of control emotionally,

Things will begin to suffer.

Use positive self-talk to remind yourself of how resilient you truly are.

Find inspiration in the progress that you've made to date.

The more practice you have learning to control your emotions,

The more success you will have.

Just be sure to remain patient and be kind to yourself and you'll get there.

Reviews

This was helpful! I needed to hear this! Thank you 😊

Great tips that can easily be incorporated; thanks! 🙏🏽

Thank you. Very helpful. 🙏🏾