Healing Your Inner Child

In this knowledge session, and meditation Caroline reflects on how to heal the parts of us that were hurt when we were younger. This integral part of the human design helps us to become who we need to become, but it can hinder our progress.

This session brings awareness and tools to heal ourselves, and is a recording of the live event held in August 2022.

Transcript

This is a meditation to help us heal our inner child.

We're going to start with a violet flame for protection.

So we're going to bring in a violet flame which is kind of deeply purple and we're going to bring that in through the ground into our body with the intent that it burns away any lower vibrations that are already present within us.

Or that are projected onto us.

Now we're going to start with some counting breath.

We're going to count our breath.

We're going to breathe in through our nose to the count of four.

We're going to hold it to the count of four and then we're going to breathe out through our nose to the count of six.

If I'm going too fast or too slow you can start your own rhythm but it's quite nice to get into a particular rhythm that suits you that will help you to calm down your nervous system.

And after that we're going to go into some teaching and then we're going to go into a meditation and a visualization.

Let's begin.

Breathe in two three four hold two three four.

Breathe out two three four five six.

Breathe in two three four hold two three four.

Breathe out two three four five six.

Breathe in two three four hold two three four.

Breathe out two three four five six.

Breathe in two three four hold two three four.

Breathe out two three four five six.

Breathe in two three four hold two three four.

Breathe out two three four five six.

Breathe in hold breathe out.

Breathe in hold.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Hold.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Hold.

Breathe out.

So what we're going to be working with today is our inner child.

We're going to do some inner child healing.

So what is our inner child?

Our inner child is an energetic residue of something that happened to us at a particular moment in time.

Usually when we were a child.

And this can be something super traumatic like abuse,

And it can be something not so traumatic something that you may have actually forgotten about,

But that made a big impact on you as a child.

It could be for example that you know you went to the playground and your dad was looking after you and you were very excited,

And you fell down and you hurt yourself.

Your knee was bleeding a lot,

And for a three year old that's pretty traumatic,

Especially when you can't find dad.

And even when you're calling dad.

That is not coming.

He may have had a phone call from work,

He may have turned his back towards you for a moment,

And just took the call,

And he's not aware that something is going on with you.

So can you imagine what it does with a three year old.

This is just just a hypothetical example but you know there's lots of examples like that that happen where well meaning adults do things that actually seriously traumatized the child.

And there's a reason for that.

When we are little.

We think we're the center,

The center of the universe.

We think everything turns around us which is actually energetically true.

But that also means that when something happens,

It has to be our fault it has to be us,

You know,

There's something about us that was not good enough for that situation or experience to occur.

Another aspect of being little is that we don't actually understand yet how to deal with emotions,

Energetically we are still dependent on our parents,

And for survival we're kind of dependent on our parents to,

You know,

We're not if we would be left alone at three years old,

We wouldn't be able to fend for ourselves.

So with that comes the impossibility of blaming our parent for anything that goes wrong,

And that then ends up being the same as before where it must be our fault.

So in the example of the child in the playground.

It must have been the child's fault that that wasn't paying attention.

There is something that is wrong with you,

For you to experience this and for that to not be there.

And you need to be different.

And this is where we start to create our identity.

So our identity is based on the feelings of not being good enough something being really wrong,

Not knowing what to do about it.

And that's really important to realize because our identity,

I'm sorry,

Our identity then tries to keep us safe and tries to make sure this never happens again.

And so we try we start to create ourselves as an identity.

So,

For example,

This child could become very much in the in the parents face,

You know,

May want to just be going everywhere with their parents or become really loud,

Starting to ask for attention,

Because if it gets attention,

Then it will never be ignored again in an important moment where it needs the parents,

Or if the parents respond very much to someone who does what they want,

Then the child may become a good girl or a good boy,

You know,

Doing everything that is expected of them.

And this identity then starts to move into our future.

So we become that and it almost becomes impossible not to be that it feels very wrong to not be that.

Because when we try to not be that our old pain shows up.

Another thing that happens is the pain that we don't know how to deal with gets suppressed in the body.

And that is what I call an inner child.

It's a child that had emotions and experiences that it didn't know how to deal with.

And it needs something in order to let go and heal.

If we don't heal this inner child,

It will forever try and speak up in moments that we don't want it to speak up and it will get in our way in terms of loving relationships,

Success,

And any of the things that really matter to us.

So let's start a little bit of a meditation and a process.

So if you weren't sitting with your eyes closed,

Just make sure you close your eyes.

Oh,

And we're going to work with some of our pain.

And I just wanted to say,

Please don't use anything super traumatic for this,

Because this is not a safe space right now.

There is no one holding you.

So if you feel like you want to do this,

And you can,

And I would recommend you do this with any trauma that you may be holding,

Make sure you do it with a professional,

Maybe a breathwork specialist,

A counselor,

Or a very good friend who can hold space for you.

Whatever feels safe for you,

But don't do it in this meditation.

In this meditation,

You can just see what we do,

And then you can take it into other practices.

So take a moment to feel yourself sitting upright.

I prefer that you don't lie down.

Sit upright,

And just take a moment to feel your center,

Move to left to the right,

To the front and to the back,

And find where you feel everything works.

It's like it just feels right.

That's where your center is,

Whatever that looks like.

And gently close your eyes and take a deep breath in,

And breathe out.

And take a moment to feel the top of your head.

And just pay attention,

Without any judgment.

Just feel it.

Sometimes when we have pain or tension somewhere,

We resist it without realizing,

Or sometimes.

.

.

Take a moment to feel your whole body.

Feel the top of your head,

The left side of your head.

Avoid the tendency of the mind to create a story about what you are feeling,

Or to resist or judge it in some way.

Just observe without opinion that it be,

This is how the left side of my head feels.

Now place your awareness on the right side of your head.

How does that feel?

And now take it to the back of your head and your face.

You gently let your awareness slide down your neck and your throat,

And into your chest.

Feel your chest breathing.

Feel how with every breath your whole rib cage expands and contracts.

Feel how with every breath your whole rib cage expands and contracts.

This is fueled by your diaphragm,

A powerful muscle at the base of your rib cage.

Notice for a moment,

How easy is it for you to breathe?

Is your breath deep or shallow?

What is your normal way of breathing?

Do you breathe through your nose or your mouth?

Just observe,

Don't offer any resistance.

Notice how the energy at the front of your chest is different or similar to the energy in your upper back.

If you have any tension anywhere,

Just allow it to be there.

No need to fix anything.

Now let your attention come down to your abdomen and your lower back.

How does this area feel?

Again,

Don't create a story,

Don't judge,

Don't resist,

Just allow whatever comes into your awareness to be there.

Now feel your left leg and left foot.

And your right leg and your right foot.

Your left arm and hand.

And your right arm and hand.

Feel your whole body.

Notice how your whole body is breathing as one being.

Now take your attention to your skin.

Your skin is the boundary between the world inside you and the world outside you.

Feel the cool air or the warm air on your skin.

And feel the warmth inside your body.

Place your awareness alternatively in and outside of your body and notice what shows up.

Whatever shows up is perfect,

So avoid the tendency to create a story or judge it.

Now take your awareness totally outside your body to the clouds in the sky.

If there are no clouds in the sky,

Just imagine that they're there and just take your attention there.

And even further to the moon and the stars.

All the way back to the center of the universe to the source of everything.

Notice how that feels.

As you notice how that feels,

You are simultaneously inside your body and outside of it.

Isn't that amazing?

You are now able to be everywhere at the same time.

We are now going into a bit of a visualization.

Don't worry if you can't see anything.

Just imagine or feel whatever you're feeling.

Imagine that you're walking on a path somewhere in nature.

It's your preferred place in nature and you feel uplifted and relaxed.

Feel how safe you are in this moment in time.

The air is warm,

Your body feels good.

Hear the sounds around you and see the colors.

Feel what it is like to be there.

In the distance you can see a house and you are walking towards it.

In this house lives a younger part of you,

A part that has been hurt and has not fully recovered.

You will be going to visit for a while.

You walk through the entrance and you see your younger self.

How old is your younger self?

Take a moment to observe what he or she looks like.

If you want,

You can sit down and ask your younger child to talk to you.

What is it they want to say to you?

Really listen.

You may not get this message in words,

In which case you can just feel the energy.

Listen with an open heart,

Without judgment,

An open mind.

When your inner child has stopped talking,

Ask them what they need.

When this is clear,

Imagine giving it to them.

If it does not become clear,

You can give them a hug or lots of love or a pet.

You can give them anything,

Anything they want.

Ask them how they feel now.

Is there anything else they need?

Sometimes our inner child needs a hug.

Sometimes it needs company.

Sometimes it needs to tell you the same story over and over until it feels heard and validated.

Sometimes it needs us to be there on a regular basis to help heal the pain of neglect.

So take your time and really delve into the needs of your inner child.

In this process,

Emotions will show up.

But just in case they don't,

Maybe think of something that happened last week that made you feel something unpleasant.

Really feel it and locate it in your body.

Where do you feel this emotion?

All our emotions are felt in the body.

Try not to resist it.

Just allow it to be there.

It's just energy in your body.

It feels unpleasant because you are resisting it.

Once you let go of your resistance,

The energy can flow and you will start to feel better.

Sometimes this can take a while,

So be patient.

Let's have a look at this energy.

Does it have a color?

How big is it?

Does it have a shape?

Does it have a texture?

Is it gassy or liquid?

Sticky or hard?

Now place your awareness in your left big toe.

All your awareness in your left big toe.

How does it feel?

Is it warm?

Cold?

Now come back to the place in your body where you felt the unpleasant energy.

Does it have a volume?

A color?

Does it have a texture?

A shape?

Now place your awareness in your nose.

How does your nose feel?

Place 100% of your attention in your nose.

If you find it hard,

Maybe touch your nose so you can locate it and feel how it feels.

That's how neutral your nose normally is.

We're not even aware of it.

Now come back to the energy that we were working with,

The emotional energy somewhere else in your body.

Does it have a color?

Does it have a shape?

How big is it?

Does it have a texture?

Or a shape?

Now place your full awareness in your right big toe.

Bring all your attention to your right big toe.

Wriggle it.

Feel it.

What does your right big toe feel like right now?

Avoid the temptation to create a story.

Just feel it.

Now come back to the emotional energy that we were working with.

Now if you've been doing this exercise 100%,

It is very likely that you feel a lot less emotion in this area in your body because it has started to flow.

You've allowed it to be there while you were observing it.

If it hasn't fully gone,

If you feel like doing this,

You can imagine it is a colorful gas,

Which is kind of what energy looks like.

A colorful gas that is moving in and out of your body.

You can move it with your breath.

Just play around with it because we're not resisting it right now.

And you can breathe it out.

You can breathe it back in.

There is no resistance to where this energy is,

Which means that it can flow.

So just allow it to flow and let it all go.

And it will just dissolve and move away.

Now come back to a feeling of your body,

Your whole body.

Feel yourself sitting on whatever you're sitting on.

Feel your head and the top of your body.

Feel your legs,

Your feet.

Take a couple of deep breaths in and out and gently open your eyes when you're ready.

I hope you're all feeling more relaxed and happier after doing this meditation.

This is an exercise that you can do for yourself every day,

Every week,

Whenever you feel something is triggering you.

And over time,

Things will stop triggering you and you will start to feel better and better and attract better and better experiences.

If you want to do something like this again,

Or have other requests for meditations or awareness exercises,

Please get in touch on the app.