Dissolving Stress
We all get stressed, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. However for many of us, stress has become a normal state - it's wreaking havoc without health, relationships and happiness. This is a brief knowledge session about the mechanics of stress and how to learn to live differently, followed by specific breathing and meditation to support this process.
Transcript
This is a recording of the Knowledge Session and Meditation on Insight Timer about dissolving stress.
First of all,
What is stress?
Stress is a state of consciousness,
It's a physical,
Emotional,
Mental and spiritual energetic state that is defined by one element,
Resistance.
Stress is a sign of resistance to what is.
If you look at your life you will see this playing out.
Say you get stressed because you are so busy,
What is really going on underneath?
How would you feel if you simply accepted that you are busy or if you enjoyed being busy?
Is there a part of you that feels you should not be so busy,
Or that worries that you might not be able to do it all,
Or that you are not capable?
Those states of the mind are what really causes us stress,
Not our circumstances.
So,
First of all,
Stress is caused by our state of mind and the pain we hold,
Not by other people or circumstances.
Which means that the solution or dissolution of stress is also not in managing,
Controlling or changing the people or circumstances around us.
The dissolution of stress is through healing ourselves and releasing resistance.
Life flows naturally and us humans are very good at resisting it.
Just have a look.
When the sun shines we say,
Oh it's too hot.
When it rains we say,
Oh it shouldn't be raining because I'm getting married tomorrow and I don't want it to rain on my wedding day.
It's our decisions about what is that cause us stress.
We place ourselves in opposition to the flow and if you imagine for a moment putting your hand in a fast flowing stream,
You can kind of feel what happens when you put your hand in the stream to stop it flowing.
It creates tension.
And yes,
The water flows around it eventually,
But it still creates tension for you.
So resistance creates tension and this tension is energetic,
It creates a certain energy in our bodies.
This is what makes our energy stagnant and what makes us sick.
So let's have a look for a moment what happens when we get into fight or flight.
So even the most minute amount of resistance creates a fight or flight pattern.
So fight or flight is the old ancient signal to the brain and to the body that there's danger and we need to either fight or run away.
It makes our body tense up muscles,
It causes a dilution of,
Dilation sorry,
Of pupils,
A blood flow to the muscles and not to the digestive tract.
So the blood flows away from the digestive tract and towards the muscles that we need to fight or run away.
And there's adrenaline flooding the body and if the stress is chronic or long term,
There's cortisol and cortisol suppresses our immune system.
So most of our modern illnesses are actually caused by stress,
By all these dysfunctional energies in the body.
So dissolving stress is not a luxury,
It is something that we all need to learn to do.
We need to stop living with continuous states of suffering like anxiety,
Pain,
Sadness,
Anger,
All these things we need to start investigating them and shift them.
Let me ask you,
How do you behave when you're stressed?
If you have trouble figuring it out,
Imagine yourself as a cat relaxed on the sofa or frantically trying to catch a mouse.
It may be worth asking your loved ones or colleagues too.
How do you behave when you're stressed?
For myself,
When I'm stressed I am short,
I have little patience,
My attention is on my thoughts and in my head and I'm not doing things very well.
In an effort to save time or to do things differently,
I often cut corners and end up making a huge mess.
My breathing is usually shallow and I often get dizzy and I feel unwell.
I also have long term tension in the background because of trauma and I used to find it hard to relax because my system was always trying to figure out if I was safe.
This is a lot less now and I'm able to relax and fall asleep really well.
A lot of that is because I've started to meditate and breathe and use my own tools or the tools that I was taught by other people.
What makes you stressed?
We know that it's not the circumstances that make us stressed but how does it show up?
I get stressed when I think I don't have enough time or when I'm doing something new that I haven't done before.
This kind of stress is related to limited beliefs and emotional experiences we've had earlier on in life.
I also get stressed when other people are slower or faster than me.
You may have noticed that most people have a certain speed at which they process and deal with stuff.
Some are super fast,
You see them switching lanes on the motorway all the time.
Some are super slow and all information needs to go through their whole system before it is processed.
Others are kind of in between or they fluctuate between the two.
When we deal with people who operate at a different speed this can be stressful.
Imagine for example a manager who is operating on a very fast level giving instructions to an employee who is very slow.
The employee may have trouble remembering everything the manager said and the manager may get really frustrated and impatient with the employee.
This could cause a lot of stress for both of them,
Completely unrelated to the results.
Which brings me to another aspect of stress.
Human beings are very good at making up stories about what is happening.
This begins in childhood which is tricky because little children have a very different way of looking at the world and often experiences are taken completely out of context.
For example you may be 5 or 6 years old and playing ball at lunchtime at school.
For whatever reason you don't catch the ball and the other children are laughing at you.
This may be a bit emotional and you may create a story that you are useless or you can't do things or people are mean.
Over time you will have similar experiences or experiences that you will interpret the same way and it will become true.
So true in fact that you will become unaware of it running in the background and you will start to become upset without knowing why.
However,
When you get put on the spot at work you may get super stressed because that situation will trigger the emotions that you felt when you weren't good enough before and you could not catch the ball.
Have a look for yourself.
What stories are active in your life right now?
Are you aware of any?
Are you aware of how they affect your behavior?
We then see the world through the eyes of these stories and find more and more proof that our ways of interpreting what is going on is right.
Okay,
So now we know a bit more about what causes stress and what it does to our body,
Our behavior and our state of consciousness.
Now,
How can we start to dissolve it?
There's a couple of steps that I found very useful.
The first one is responsibility.
The first step is always to take responsibility for our feelings and our behavior.
Okay,
I feel stressed.
The human identity will want to project this feeling onto other people or circumstances around us and blame them.
And this pool is very strong.
It's trying to keep us safe,
You see.
So you may have to work on it for a bit.
Really talk to yourself and your identity,
Which is in reality a younger version of you,
And go,
I know it really seems that my boss is unreasonable,
But I want to change this and I can only do this if I learn to take responsibility.
I am responsible for this stress.
I created it.
I am responsible for the stories and beliefs that I have created around this.
I don't need to change anything outside myself.
I need to change the energy I am holding,
The emotions I haven't let go of,
And the beliefs that are creating this stress.
That's half the battle done.
The next step is acceptance.
Accept that you are feeling stressed,
That you have created those beliefs,
And that you and others are behaving a certain way around it.
Just let go of your judgments,
Opinions,
And resistance.
Just let it be.
Stress is a state of consciousness and therefore is energy.
When you let energy flow,
It will flow in and out of your reality,
And you will be able to let it go.
Bear in mind that stress has a powerful physical and chemical reaction in the body,
So you may need to wait a couple of hours for your body to catch up with this.
Then my advice would be to go deeply into the pain you carry that has made you believe and behave this way.
However,
For the sake of this session,
We shall start with breathing and meditation.
Breathing helps us to relax and to release up to 70% of our toxins,
So it's a powerful and helpful tool.
It also helps us to change our consciousness,
So we can go from stress or sleepiness to peace and joy.
Today we will be doing some deep conscious breathing.
We will breathe in and out through the nose.
First I will take you through 9 rounds of counting the breath.
Then we will let go of the counting and go deeply into the breath while focusing on specific things.
From our breathing we will go straight into a meditation.
One part of the meditation is being with our bodies,
Which will help our body to relax.
The next part will be a visualization.
Not everybody finds that easy,
So if you don't,
Just imagine or simply listen to my words.
I am bringing through a specific energy that will help you to relax and let go.
Let's begin.
Find a nice,
Relaxed,
Seated position.
Please sit upright with your spine upright.
This helps the energy to flow through.
Take a moment to find your center.
Move your body from left to right,
Front to back.
Find your center somewhere where it feels right.
It doesn't have to be the perfect center,
But it's where your body feels like it is.
Take a deep breath in and on the out breath gently close your eyes and allow your shoulders to relax.
I am going to count you through the breathing.
If I am going too fast or too slow,
Just find your own rhythm,
But make sure you find a rhythm,
Because the body likes that.
It helps the body to feel safe and the mind to relax.
So we are going to breathe in and out through the nose.
Let's begin.
Breathe in 2,
3,
4.
Hold 2,
3,
4.
Breathe out 2,
3,
4,
5,
6.
Breathe in 2,
3,
4.
Hold 2,
3,
4.
Breathe out 2,
3,
4,
5,
6.
Breathe in 2,
3,
4.
Hold 2,
3,
4.
Breathe out 2,
3,
4,
5,
6.
Breathe in 2,
3,
4.
Hold 2,
3,
4.
Breathe out 2,
3,
4,
5,
6.
Breathe in.
Hold.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Hold.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Hold.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Hold.
Breathe out.
Let go of the counting.
Keep your eyes closed.
When you are breathing,
Keep your attention on your breath.
As you are breathing in through your nose,
Focus on your upper lip as you are breathing in and out.
Notice the cool air coming in and the warm air coming out.
Keep your attention on your upper lip and notice what happens.
If your mind takes you on a story and distracts you,
Just gently notice and come back to your upper lip.
Let go of the counting.
Breathe in.
Hold.
Breathe out.
Now say to yourself on your in-breath,
I am breathing in.
And on your out-breath,
I am breathing out.
Breathe in.
And gently let go.
Allow your breath to settle into its natural rhythm and let go of any effort.
Meditation and breathing is effortless.
Let go.
As you are letting go of the constant need to figure things out,
To think,
To identify and to interpret,
You can start to feel your body and your mind relax.
You are letting go of resistance and you are feeling relaxed.
Now take a moment to very gently place your awareness on your head.
Place your awareness very lightly on top of your head.
And your left eye.
And your right eye.
Place your attention in your face.
Just notice whatever you are noticing.
There is nothing to fix.
There is no stories.
There is just an experience without any judgement.
Now allow this to go down into your neck and your throat.
And into your chest and your shoulders.
Feel your chest rising and falling with your breath.
Everything is happening automatically.
Let it happen.
Now allow your attention to go down to your tummy and your pelvis and your lower back.
And just notice whatever you are noticing.
No stories,
No fixing.
If you are experiencing pain,
Just allow the pain to be there.
And notice what happens.
Now pay attention to your left leg and your left foot.
And your right leg and your right foot.
Your left arm and your left hand.
And your right arm and your right hand.
Your whole body is now super relaxed.
No more resistance.
Notice how everything flows.
Now allow yourself to become aware of the energy around you.
Let go of your awareness of your body and become aware of the room you are in or the space you are in.
Accept this awareness.
Let it be.
Now you are in harmony with what is around you.
Now expand your awareness to the moon and the stars.
Just imagine them up high in the sky,
In the universe and notice how that feels.
Accept this.
Be in harmony with the moon and the stars.
There is no need to have an opinion or judgement or to feel anything.
Just allow yourself to be with the moon and the stars.
Now become aware of a golden light right above your head.
Feel it or see it or imagine it's there.
It's like a cloud or an orb of golden light.
This is now slowly sinking into your head,
Relaxing your brain and aligning it with your deepest desire for peace.
Allow this to happen and feel the peace spreading throughout your body,
Into every cell of your body.
Peace.
Now take a moment to be grateful for feeling peaceful,
For being alive,
For having a roof over your head and a deep breath in and out.
For having a roof over your head and a device to do this meditation on.
For having a purpose on earth even if you don't know what it is.
So thank you to your parents for giving you life.
And thank you to the universe,
Your parents and yourself for all the amazing experiences you've had so far.
Now gently come back to your body and when you're ready you can open your eyes.
