Soul Shots - Are You Stuck In A Perpetual Loop?

A short tonic for your soul - in this talk I'll be discussing how we create paradigms and then get stuck in them, even though we think we are breaking free of them. And I'll show you how to identify them and break free, creating a new paradigm the more helpful way.

Transcript

Welcome,

Welcome,

Welcome.

Thank you for all the love to start with.

I'm Shirley,

I'm your host and I'm just gonna start with a few minutes of meditation if you'd like,

Just because I think it would be a really nice way to center ourselves and just ground into the moment and then really open ourselves up to receive exactly what it is that you're here to receive,

Basically.

So if you'd just like to come to a place of stillness within yourself and just take a few breaths.

Obviously if you're driving,

Pull over.

Operating heavy machinery,

Don't do this.

And just coming back home to yourself.

Back home to your breath.

Back home to the stillness within you that is always here,

Always ever-present.

Never goes away.

Always available to you to come back to any time.

And just breathing into that stillness and releasing on the out-breath.

Letting go of the day so far.

Letting go of the future,

Any expectations.

And just sinking right here into the you that's here right now.

Ever-present,

Ever-still.

Ever-aware.

Ever-complete and whole.

Knowing it's always here and it's always you.

And then just opening up to the knowing that you will receive exactly what you need today from this.

That if you miss parts of it or turn up late or whatever,

That you've missed nothing,

That you're here for exactly what you need to receive.

Because the universe truly does have your back.

Because this ever-present stillness is you,

Is the universe,

Is it all that is?

And it loves you so unconditionally.

And just breathing into the truth of that.

Welcome,

Welcome.

The first thing I want to do is a little.

.

.

It's not a disclaimer,

But I guess that's the closest word to it.

Everything I talk about on my lives and the work I do,

The meditations and on my podcast,

It's all to do with spiritual and vibrational frequency and choosing the life that you want and creating this life.

But what I want you to know and really understand the truth of this is there's never any shame.

There's never any shame for where you are on your journey.

There's never any shame for where you've been on your journey and for where you go on your journey.

For how well you integrate these lessons,

How much they resonate with you,

How you live them like when you get off this live.

There's never any judgment and there's never any shame.

And that's for me.

But I want you to give that gift to yourself because we are our own worst critics,

Right?

And so some of the concepts that I bring to light I talk about might make you feel a little not so good in yourself,

Right?

Then not what we're doing here at all,

At all,

At all,

At all.

All we are doing is bringing awareness and with awareness we can then just start to sort of shift things.

And there is never like a moment when you get like spiritual epiphany and you are redeemed and life never happens to you again and everything is perfect and you never have suffering and you're never going to struggle with these principles.

Like that's a myth and it's a harmful myth,

Right?

If you reach that you kind of die,

You ascend,

Right?

You don't need to live on earth anymore.

We come here as human beings to forget our innate divinity so that we can remember over and over again,

So that we can keep coming back to it and keep fine tuning and really flexing that muscle,

Right?

You know,

Going to the gym,

We lift weights or whatever.

We build that muscle and that's what this is.

And so give yourself the grace to never judge yourself.

Give yourself the grace to allow yourself to mess up a billion times a minute or a day or whatever.

Like just give yourself that grace because there's no judgment here.

The only judgment comes from yourself and that's like not a very nice thing to do to yourself so just don't do that.

And then when we talk about these things,

Be curious.

Be curious and lighthearted,

Right?

Don't come in with this self,

You know,

A lot of this work involves like self-awareness and looking at how we behave and what we believe and how we show up.

Like we don't come in here to nitpick at ourselves because that's just mean and that's bullying.

We come here with curiosity to see what we can find,

To see where we can open up more,

To see where more of ourselves can come through,

Where more of our emergence,

Like the full blueprint,

The fullest expression of who we are,

Where that can come through and that's what we're always looking for,

Right?

It's not,

We're not coming here to judge where we're failing.

We are coming here to see,

Oh,

Is there a little area here that I could just maybe open into and understand or integrate or just be aware of in the back of my head and just trust that this comes through.

So that's kind of my disclaimer with everything I talk about and I want you to always remember that and always remember that when you're looking at anything spiritual and any of these things because I think there's so much,

There's so much possibility for us to turn these teachings in on ourselves in acts of violence and to really like not be very nice with ourselves.

So that's just my little disclaimer is like always meet yourself with compassion,

Always do this work with playful curiosity and allow yourself to mess up,

Right?

We're human and I know we're spiritual beings in a human body but you know,

We are infinite cosmic power in a little tiny space is my favorite quote from Aladdin,

You know,

But we're human and so with our humanness comes a complete inability to wade through this stuff at times and so that's an adorable,

Beautiful trait of being human.

So give yourself that grace.

And now I'm going to get to the point.

So what we're talking about today is being stuck in a perpetual loop.

Now you're going to have to bear with me a little bit because I'm going to sort of loop back and forward around to get to this point.

When we have a core identity belief,

What I mean by that is an I am statement,

An identity statement like I am always late,

I am always a mess,

I am always,

You know,

Whatever it is like I am not worthy when we go deeper,

I shouldn't be here,

I am a liability,

I am not deserving of this.

Like these core statements and we become aware of them as we do like,

You know,

Spiritual work,

Self-realization work,

Awareness work,

We become aware of these core beliefs that we have about who we are and how we show up in the world.

And as we know,

I am is kind of a prayer,

It's like the name of God,

So like it's,

You know,

You are God,

I am.

So when we say that we are literally creating our own realities.

And so one of the things that I've seen happen multiple times and I've done myself multiple times and I still do myself,

So again,

No judgment,

No shame,

Like we are all on our own journeys of learning here.

We ought to just stop at I am and add nothing,

Exactly Heidi,

We absolutely should just stop at I am and add nothing,

But we don't.

And our lovely little egos go,

But,

But,

But.

When we do that and then we do the investigative work and we find out or we have all these core negative beliefs about ourselves,

Like,

You know,

What can we change here?

What can we make better?

What we tend to do is go straight for the opposite and then we start to try and prove our worthiness.

We try and prove that we should be here if we think that we shouldn't.

We try and prove ourselves like I've got to,

I've got to prove that I'm the best or I can do this.

And you know,

Again,

I have been watching a lot of Chef's Table on Netflix recently because I just find it fascinating watching the journeys,

But so many of the chefs start off trying to prove themselves.

And when we do that,

What we're doing is creating a perpetual loop because in order to prove that you are worthy,

You absolutely have to believe that you're not worthy.

And so what happens is you're doing all of these outward things.

I am worthy,

I am worthy,

These affirmations,

These beliefs,

You are giving yourself gifts,

You are doing all of these things.

But what you're actually doing is perpetuating and creating the paradigm where we have a polarity,

We absolutely always have the other.

So where we have this need to prove ourselves,

Where we have this need to create a paradigm where you are the opposite of the thing that you think you are or that you're trying to change,

The mere fact of doing that creates this perpetual loop.

It creates this world and universe where you will constantly have times come up where you are proved that you're not worthy or that you don't belong or that you're fat and ugly or whatever it is.

I'm going for the ones that I think are a little taste into my world.

And you have those beliefs,

You create this universe where those things will come up time and time again.

And it's like the perpetual dieter,

Right?

The person who thinks they need to lose weight.

So they do things specifically to lose weight.

Well then the universe thinks that all they want to do is continually lose weight.

So they continually create this situation where they are looping back on themselves,

Getting fat,

Getting thin,

Getting fat,

Getting thin,

Feeling worthy,

Feeling not worthy,

Feeling worthy,

Feeling not worthy,

Having to prove yourself,

Not proving yourself,

Belonging,

Not belonging.

So we create these perpetual loops and the best way to identify this is to really look at those core identity beliefs.

Look at how you show up.

And again,

With compassion,

With curiosity,

With playfulness and with love and tenderness to yourself.

But look at how you show up in situations,

Especially ones that might trigger you.

And look at,

You know,

From a perspective of an outsider,

Look at that person and ask yourself like,

Well what must that person believe about themselves to behave like that?

What must that person believe about themselves that makes them show up in that way or that makes her react that way or makes him do this or that?

You know,

Like,

And then you start to understand and you start to get to these core beliefs and if you can keep peeling back the layers and going deeper and deeper,

You'll generally find there's a very,

Like,

There's like one really deep core belief.

And I'll tell you,

Like mine is that I shouldn't be here.

That's my core belief.

Like,

You know,

The core wound that I carry as an identity or have done.

And the immediate sort of reaction is to be like,

Well now I'm going to prove I should be here.

You know,

I'm going to show up and be here.

But this isn't that because that creates the perpetual loop that keeps you stuck and it keeps you coming round and round and round and creating these situations where you feel like you shouldn't be here or you feel like you're not wanted or you feel like you don't belong and then you recreate these scenarios where you have to prove that.

You have to continually prove yourself,

Prove you belong.

And you know,

I mean,

Mine is ridiculous.

It's showing up with things like my current visa.

I live in Canada.

I'm from Britain and I've been here nine years and it's like still haven't got permanent residency yet because I have been stuck in this perpetual loop and just learning to belong and to be here and just be like,

Oh yeah,

You know,

I'm going to work on that.

It doesn't solve the problem.

It keeps that loop alive.

It keeps me stuck in that paradigm.

But if you imagine like,

Well,

What if I never had that core belief ever?

Like what if like,

I'm trying to think of a good one.

Yeah,

I'm going to go back to the dieting world or whatever,

Or you know,

Your own physical body.

If you were just a naturally like healthy,

Active,

Toned,

Muscular,

Healthy,

Active person who never thought about their weight because they never had an issue with the weight because all of their actions always supported being a healthy,

Vibrant,

Vital being.

That person wouldn't obsess over what they put in their mouth.

That person wouldn't obsess over how much exercise they've had.

That person wouldn't constantly look in the mirror or check the size of their trousers against their body.

It just,

Because it wouldn't be who they are,

Right?

They wouldn't have that filter that allows them to see that,

That allows them to sort of live their life through that lens.

And so that's the how you break free of this paradigm.

It's like,

Who would I be?

You know,

Like how would I show up if I had never ever even contemplated my own belonging or my own existence or my own ability to be wealthy?

If I never had even contemplated my own abundance because it's just,

It was part of who I am was just like abundance just flew in.

Like I never had to think about it.

I never had to ever worry because it just wasn't in my paradigm,

Right?

Whenever I wanted money there it was and it was,

You know,

I never worried.

Like what kind of person would you be if you had never had this belief and how would it feel?

And for most people it feels like complete freedom.

It feels like just,

I mean I remember the first time I actually did this and really identified this and there was just this sense of like,

Oh my God,

I would just be free of that.

That being this perpetual belief that I'm not worthy or I shouldn't be here and I have to prove it over and over again.

And so when you do this work,

When you like do this investigative work,

Be gentle with yourself because it can hurt,

Right?

The truth can hurt when we start to realize,

Oh,

This is really who,

How I've been showing up and then you can start to see those actions.

You can start to see how those actions are.

You know,

I've had one recently with money and we needed money for some things and it wasn't coming in and there was this like,

You know,

There was this starting to believe that I needed to do things like a money mindset and all these things that I started to,

I realized I was creating and perpetually living in this paradigm of lack and that by trying to get out of it I was perpetuating it.

I was stuck in this loop.

And so we do it all the time.

You'll do it over and over again even once you have awareness of this,

Even with my very core belief,

Right,

Of I shouldn't be here,

I shouldn't exist.

I loop back with it because sometimes I forget,

You know,

We are human again,

Beautiful,

Lovely little human ego selves battling the world,

Me against the world,

Which isn't true,

But it's how egos have been developed to believe.

So we will constantly come back to these things and then it's just recognizing and saying,

Well,

Actually,

Would someone who had never ever even questioned their own existence behave like this?

And if the answer is no,

Then don't do it.

Like stop behaving like it.

And it's really that simple and it's really not that simple because it really is a journey and it really is a practice and it really is like the hardest gym you'll ever train at.

So give yourself grace,

Give yourself the proteins that you need,

Like whatever it is.

Like it's a journey and this is how we break free of this perpetual loop.

And never ever give yourself grief if you keep coming back to it.

You know,

Even like one of my spiritual mentors,

He's been doing this for,

You know,

Decades and I have followed him for decades.

And he was saying even like on a call the other day,

He said he can be in the moment and so with it and so able to be this pure channel on the call and then get off and life hits him and it's like,

Boom,

And he has to really work his tools to get back.

And this is,

This is how we are,

Right?

This is how we learn.

This is how we,

We grow.

And this is the soul journey.

This is what our souls want.

This is what Radiant Soul is,

Right?

I've got a group called Radiant Soul,

Come and join me on it.

I'm very inactive at the moment because I still haven't figured out how to actually access some of these things on Insight Timer.

Some of it's on the app,

But then it doesn't let me do it.

I don't know.

Anyway,

But like,

You know,

This is,

This is the work that we do.

Being a Radiant Soul is allowing our soul these journeys,

Allowing our soul to,

To grow and to have these experiences and to keep forgetting and coming back,

Right?

So that we can really fine tune and really,

Really become masters.

We don't become,

You know,

I used to play the piano and I wasn't very good at practicing,

But I would see my piano teacher and every time I would go to a lesson,

He would be hammering out like the same three bars over and over and over and over and over again.

Like three bars of music,

Just hammering them out.

I mean,

He really liked Beethoven.

I'm much more of a Chopin girl myself.

And like,

This is it.

This is,

This is what we have to do was on our soul journey,

Right?

The lessons will come back and back and back.

And it's not like a punishment.

It's not like we're doomed or it's,

It's practice.

This is how we become masters.

And this is how we change paradigms is by identifying those core beliefs and then just dropping them.

We're not trying to change it.

We're not trying to think the opposite.

We're just letting it go.

And can you feel the sense of freedom in that?

Can you,

I mean,

I don't know about you,

But like give me a heart if you can.

But when I feel into that,

It's like,

I can feel the expansion of energy in my body.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And let yourself play with that because that is a lush,

Lush,

Lush feeling.

And that's what radiant soul is about,

Right?

That is how you,

You literally,

Like your soul is just like,

Whoo,

Let it out.

And we can feel into that.

And,

And when we're not doing that,

It's like,

We're holding on for dear life.

You know,

That,

That's the opposite of openness and that's the opposite of radiance.

And so there's never,

You know,

And again,

I,

I'll talk a lot about manifestation because I think it's a good tool for failing the states that we actually desire because we think we desire all the things,

Right?

But it's never about that.

For the soul,

It's about that,

That feeling of like,

Whoosh,

Like feel energy and life getting in there,

Right?

That's like,

That's what,

That's the Mecca we're after.

And we're never going to feel that all the time because if we did like,

Oh,

Boring.

So we're going to drop out of it and come back to it.

We're going to drop out of it and come back to it.

And it's in that remembrance that there's this like moment of bliss and,

And energy that rushes through.

Heidi mentioned about duality is the faith,

The faith destroyer.

So the other thing I'll just briefly touch on is that where we think we have a void of something,

A lack of something,

And this is what I mean by it's also like the faith builder.

You can't have a lack of something without the something.

So it's a bit of a head,

A head,

F-U-C-K,

Not an I just throw it on here.

It's a little bit of a head twister,

Right?

It's a,

Whoa,

Okay.

So I've got no money,

But I can't have a lack of money without money because money is in that sentence.

There's a lack of money,

Money,

Lack of money.

Oh,

So they're both there,

Right?

Like the duality,

You cannot have one end of the polarity without the other.

Like they,

They exist simultaneously.

They are two sides of the same coin.

So,

So within duality there is also complete wholeness,

Right?

And if you really truly believe all is God and God is all and like all is one,

That means in every void is complete wholeness and completeness.

And everything.

And it's being open to seeing that and being open to really letting that be a truth.

But just,

Just so you know,

Like duality isn't like,

Again,

There's a lot of spiritual stuff out there that I think can sometimes mislead or cause us to kind of get a little lost or get a little bit self-deprecating and a little bit self-flagellant.

You know,

Again,

For those that joined later,

I started this live with a big disclaimer about how with all of this work we go in with love,

We go in with compassion,

We go in with tenderness and we give ourselves the grace to be completely messy and not get it.

Because there's so much out there in the spiritual world that is,

You know,

Leads us to sort of hate ourselves,

Leads us to feel bad about ourselves,

Leads us to feel like we're never attaining it and we're never good enough.

And this is not about that.

Like we came here as humans to mess up over and over and over and over again so that we can keep learning these lessons and keep having that sense and feeling of that,

That whoosh of energy when we get it like that.

That's why we're here.

And as you said,

We create our lack from all that abundance.

Exactly Steve,

Right?

There is like when you have a lack,

When you have a perceived lack of something.

So here's a,

Here's a like,

Here's a crazy,

Crazy thing.

You know,

They actually have figured out that space is the most dense place.

So like we talk about the density of 3D world,

Right?

We talk about the density of the material world,

But actually a solid table like the one in front of me is actually incredibly undense because it's like a very simple form.

Whereas space is,

It's every possibility imaginable ever plus ad infinitum of all the ones not imaginable,

Right?

It's,

There is so much in the vacuum.

And so,

You know,

Again,

We don't fight duality.

We play with it.

We get to play with that coin,

Right?

We get to flip it over and over.

We get to see what it looks like on,

On any end of that spectrum.

And we get to realize and understand that you could never have one polarity without the other.

And that's again what the perpetual loop is.

If you're trying to prove you're worthy because you think you're not worthy,

You're constantly playing that paradigm and you will never get out of it until you just drop it.

And you might need to drop it,

You know,

Every minute of every day for the rest of your life.

Like you might need to keep remembering this lesson.

But when you do that,

You know,

Again,

Remembering that feeling of like,

Like freedom.

Comes back,

Comes back in.

So I'm Shirley.

If you want to come to my profile,

I would love you to come follow me.

And there are some meditations on there that have,

I've got some evening and morning ones as well.

Like there's like one evening and two mornings because there's a short and a slightly longer one.

Where we play with vibration.

It's about becoming,

Creating who you want to be in life.

How you want to shop more,

How you want to be more of a radiant soul.

If you want to leave a donation,

Then thank you so much.

All are welcome.

And just trust that you get everything you need to.

And just,

You know,

Take some breaths and come back to you.

Your home,

Yourself,

That stillness within.

Your whole.

And there's so much wholeness and so much completeness in who you are.

And in all of those places where you think there's lack,

There's just nothing but infinite possibilities and fullness and completeness.

And you're free.

You just,

You can drop it,

Right?

You got nothing to prove to anyone.

Especially yourself,

Right?

So give yourself that grace.

Give yourself that compassion.

Give yourself that love.

And do this work with playful curiosity only,

Like really only because if you,

Like I don't want no self-flagellating stuff in this group or in my field.

Like don't do that.

Like it,

Don't be that,

Be I-T-C-H to yourself.

Be that loving,

Beautiful,

Observing parent that's watching their child fall and stumble and figure it out or their little puppy dog like,

You know,

Bashing to walls as he's playing.

And you know,

Like be that person to yourself.

Permission to mess up over and over again.

Like permission to giggle at yourself as you find yourselves back in these perpetual loops because they are,

They're tricky little monsters to escape,

Right?

And they also are our best friends because they remind us to come back.

They remind us to drop it and find those moments of complete freedom,

Which is what life is about.

We are human,

Beautiful,

Messy creatures and we are also infinite cosmic power in an itty bitty tiny space.

It's all a big playful dance,

Right?

And we're going to stumble and we're going to mess up and we're going to get it right and we're going to celebrate and we're going to give ourselves grace,

Compassion and love like every step of the way.

So I love you.

Have a great week.

Enjoy,

Enjoy,

Enjoy.

Bye.