Self-Compassion For Mistakes And Failures

Each of us are imperfect and may make mistakes from time to time. None of us are immune to mistakes; this is part of the human experience. In this guided meditation, we give ourselves compassion and forgiveness for making mistakes and failing forward.

Transcript

You're listening to a guided meditation on giving yourself compassion for failures and mistakes.

My name is Sonia Lee and I am so happy to be guiding you through this meditation.

Our goal is to recognize that we oftentimes as humans make mistakes and fail forward,

But that is the human experience.

And so with that in mind,

Let us begin the mindfulness practice called giving yourself compassion for failures and mistakes.

This guided meditation is a variance on the classic loving kindness practice,

But tailored specifically to cultivate self-compassion.

So first,

Make sure you're in a comfortable position,

Sitting either on a meditation cushion or on a chair.

Something that's very comfortable where you can sit upright and be very relaxed.

And settle into your posture.

Notice how your body feels,

The sensation of your feet touching the floor,

Your bottom touching the cushion,

The weight of your arms,

Your head.

Be in your body right here,

Right now,

Fully inhabiting your living experience.

Then allow your attention to move outward to any sounds there might be.

What sounds are arising right now?

Are there noises outside your window?

A fan blowing?

Leaves rustling?

What sounds do you hear?

Try not to be too distracted by the sounds,

But just let the sounds arrive.

Sound waves entering your mind and body.

Now focus on your breathing,

The sense of inhaling and exhaling.

Whether you feel the breath most strongly at your nostrils or perhaps that your chest rises and falls.

We'll take a few moments just to rest with our breath,

Simple and easy.

Notice the peacefulness of being quiet,

Of resting,

As you gently breathe.

And now I'd like you to bring your mind to some place,

An aspect of your personality or perhaps a mistake you made,

A failure,

Something that has been bothering you lately.

Something that perhaps you have been criticizing yourself for or that has made you feel inadequate in any way,

Shape,

Or form.

Whatever this trait or action is,

Try to get in touch with your feelings about it.

What does it make you feel?

Does it make you feel sad?

Frightened?

Isolated?

Inadequate?

How have you felt when you've thought about this inadequacy?

See if you can locate the sensations of the emotions in your body.

Perhaps it's a tightness in your throat,

A heaviness in your heart,

Tension in your shoulders.

What emotions do you feel when you think about this mistake or inadequacy?

And where are those emotions felt in the body?

Just allow them to be there instead of resisting the feeling,

The feelings,

The natural feelings that arise when we judge ourselves.

Just notice them.

What am I feeling?

What are these emotions in my body?

Get in touch with how much suffering is caused by our own self-judgment,

Our fears of not being good enough.

Some of our greatest suffering is caused at our own hands by the belief that somehow we should be perfect.

Take your hand or both hands if you prefer and place them gently over your heart in a calm,

Soft,

Comforting manner.

See if you can sense your heart right now.

See if you can let your heart be moved by how difficult your emotional experiences when you think about this thing that makes you feel bad about yourself.

And so what we'll do now is repeat some phrases,

Loving kindness phrases designed to help you feel compassion for the fact that you and I are imperfect beings.

Try to do your best,

But realize that no one,

No one on this planet is perfect.

We're all inadequate in some way.

We all make mistakes.

We all fail.

This is the human experience and this is okay.

So repeat the phrases silently.

I'll say a few of them out loud so that you can repeat them silently to yourself.

May I be safe?

May I be peaceful?

May I be kind to myself?

May I accept myself as I am?

Feeling the warmth of your hand on your heart?

May I be safe?

May I be peaceful?

May I be kind to myself?

May I accept myself as I am?

Repeat these phrases silently,

Really trying to get in touch with the intention behind the words,

The intention to offer yourself kindness,

Compassion,

And acceptance.

And as your mind wanders,

Which can happen,

Just refresh the phrases in your mind.

May I be safe?

May I be peaceful?

May I be kind to myself?

May I accept myself the way I am?

Giving yourself the same kindness and support and acceptance you would give to a good friend who is feeling bad about themselves.

May I be safe?

May I be peaceful?

May I be kind to myself?

May I accept myself as I am?

Remembering that everyone is in the same boat.

Everyone feels inadequate in some way.

Everyone makes mistakes.

Everyone fails.

This is the human condition and it is normal.

This is something we all share in humankind and it is okay.

May I be safe?

May I be peaceful?

May I be kind to myself?

May I accept myself as I am?

And remembering all your fellow humans who struggle with self-judgment the way you do.

Let's change the phrases slightly so that we include everyone in our intention.

For self-compassion.

May we feel safe?

May we all be peaceful?

May we be kind to ourselves?

May we accept ourselves as we are?

May we be safe?

May we be peaceful?

May we be kind to ourselves?

May we accept ourselves as we are?

Just gently repeating the phrases silently.

Now I'd like you to think of something that has been causing you suffering that you don't necessarily blame yourself for.

Maybe you have a loved one who is sick or something's going wrong in your life just due to external circumstances.

Something that's very hard to bear,

Hard to deal with.

And give yourself compassion for this source of suffering.

Your suffering comes from two main sources.

From ourselves not being as we want or from ourselves not being as we want.

So thinking of this aspect of your life that's causing you pain,

Repeating the following phrases.

May I be safe?

May I be peaceful?

May I be kind to myself?

May I accept my life as it is?

This is the way things are.

May I be safe?

May I be peaceful?

May I be kind to myself?

May I accept my life as it is?

Repeating the phrases silently to yourself,

Soothing and comforting yourself with the difficulties of living the human life.

Really feel your caring concern,

Tenderness for yourself,

Struggling like so many others do.

May I be safe?

May I be peaceful?

May I be kind to myself?

May I accept my life the way it is?

Put your hand on your heart or if it's been there the whole time,

Really feel your hand on your heart.

And while we've been focusing on comforting ourselves for painful feelings,

For suffering,

Now see if you can feel what the compassionate self feels like.

Maybe your heart is tingling or feels warm or vibrant or joyous in some way.

Notice the good qualities of an open heart that's filled with compassion.

The beautiful feeling of tenderness,

Care,

Concern,

And kindness.

Noticing the joy of compassion,

Of connectedness,

Of open-heartedness,

Remember that this is part of the human experience and thank yourself for being a good,

Supportive friend.

May we all be well.

May we all be safe.

May we all be happy and may we all be free.

Thank you for joining me on this guided meditation.