#183 5 Steps To Get Out Of A Negative State Quickly

In this episode of Soul Infused Monday I share with you 5 Steps to help you shift from a negative state of being to an empowered state. Grab pen and paper and get ready to shift your perspective with these simple but powerful steps.

Transcript

Welcome to Soul Infused Monday,

Your weekly show for an inspired and meaningful week.

I'm super excited to be here with you today.

Thank you for showing up every week to learn,

To grow and to be inspired.

Today I'm going to share with you five steps to get out of a negative emotional state or mental state quickly.

Now I want to invite you to be fully present here and grab a pen and a paper.

You want to take notes,

You want to write down those steps,

And I think in particular step number three is going to be maybe a really big game changer in your life.

And it's only a little tweak in a question,

It's simply only changing one word that will get you from a victim state into an empowered state.

So super excited to start with you this week together and leave me a comment below,

Say hello,

How are you doing today?

And I also invite you to practice or implement those five steps while I'm teaching them.

And you can use it for any state you're in today.

It doesn't have to be a 180 degree change right in five minutes,

But you can apply these steps today for anything that you might be chewing on,

Or maybe something that you're dealing with,

Something that you would like to shift.

And so I invite you to play along,

To really be active,

To engage,

And so also to remove any distractions.

So you want to be listening and you want to be present and to not even only listen to really apply.

Okay,

Who is excited?

I'm going to jump right in.

And I want to talk about real brief,

What do I mean by a negative state?

And please let me know if you hear me well and if you see me,

But the sound is more important.

So if you do hear me,

Please leave me a comment below so that I know you're here and I say,

Hello,

Hi,

Tina.

So I see your comments here as well.

And I appreciate your feedback because that's the only way I know that you guys are actually really listening because you can hear me.

Okay,

So a negative state can be anything from a thought,

A feeling,

It can be a light,

Negative emotional state that you're in.

It can be something really severe,

Like you're going through a breakup,

You are in a lot of heartache,

Or you're facing something that is really,

Really challenging for you.

And so you can apply this to any intensity.

And of course,

Depending on what you are going through at the moment,

Some of it might need more deeper work.

And at the same time,

Applying these five steps will help you if you do it to shift at least enough to go into a different state.

Okay,

You can see me all good.

Fantastic.

I really need this today.

So I'm so happy,

Like everybody needs this today.

So I'm super excited.

So grab a pen and a paper.

And some of the things that I'm going to share will be known to you.

And that's okay,

Because we all need a repetition.

However,

You being here and you're listening in as you are in the field of energy that I'm creating.

So just by even only listening,

You are already allowing your system to shift your energy.

And whether you know all the steps of one or another,

Apply them,

Repeat them,

And I'm sure that it's something that you can take deeper today.

Step number one,

Step number one.

So simple and so necessary.

Step number one is that you get to make a decision that you do actually want to change the state of mind you're in or the state of negativity.

And you might say,

You're a d'er Sonia,

That is so obvious.

However,

It's not because we are not always willing to really make a shift.

And if you are in that place,

That's okay.

You might just have to do a little other things to do to get you to the point.

But the first step in changing your negative state is really to make a decision,

Okay,

I have the awareness that I am making myself miserable,

Or I'm in a painful state,

Or I'm in a victim state,

Or I'm in a negative state.

Could it be like I'm judging myself,

Or I'm blaming someone else,

Or I miss someone,

Or I am going through grief,

Or I just lost my job,

Whatever it is.

The first step is to truly sit and say,

Okay,

Even if I don't know how I am willing,

And I make a decision to want to change the state of mind.

Okay,

So that's step number one.

Simple,

But not always easy.

But that's how you get started.

Step number two,

You know this one,

And you're going to do it with me right here,

Right now.

You take three deep breaths.

You take three deep conscious breaths.

And I invite you to do this right here,

Right now.

Take your first,

Your second,

Your third,

In your own time and pacing.

But you want to do this very consciously.

You want to use those three breaths to come back to yourself,

To become present,

To relax your body,

And to come back into this present moment.

This step alone,

Step alone,

This step as a stand alone step resource tool can change your life forever.

It can change from you freaking out,

Getting super triggered,

Reacting,

Doing something that you might regret,

Versus taking the time to take three deep breaths to recenter.

Ah,

To reconnect to yourself,

To connect to your body,

And to come into a most centered space.

And if you've done this with me right now,

You already might notice a change.

If that's the case,

Leave me a comment below.

How is it to take three conscious breaths?

And then just take a deep conscious breaths.

And then just take a few more if you need them.

And also don't get too caught up in,

You know,

That's not helping or you know,

I need more.

It's simplicity and little steps to create progress.

Take a nice deep breath.

Okay,

So step number three.

That's the big one.

So,

So simple,

So powerful.

And I only came up with this not even that long ago,

Even though I've been doing this for many years.

So when we are in a negative state,

And we are kind of caught in it,

Like,

You know,

It's something that you kind of see yourself,

You're in,

You want to change it.

Sometimes we are even aware that we're in it.

And often when we are caught up in it,

We are in a so called victim energy.

If we like it or not,

You might not like hearing this,

And that's totally okay.

I am in it as much as anyone else,

As long as you are a human being in this on this planet,

Experiencing your humanity,

You will have a victim energy,

A victim mentality,

Sometimes you're gonna have that energy of being a victim.

And it's so simple that if anytime,

Listen to this,

Anytime you have blaming or complaining thought in you that we all have,

We all have,

We are in kind of a victim state.

So it's not about,

Oh my God,

This obvious big state of victimhood,

You know,

It's a simple state of being.

Now,

When we are experiencing severe adversities,

Severe pain,

Struggle,

It seems like when it rains,

It pours.

And the question that we so often ask ourselves,

Even unconsciously,

Is why is this happening to me?

And be really honest.

Have you ever said that out loud?

Have you ever thought it?

Have you actually,

You know,

Shared it?

Like how many times have we all,

But just honest for yourself,

Said,

Why is this happening to me?

Like,

You know,

I've been doing so much of like,

Why is this happening to me?

Why is this happening to me?

And leave me a comment below.

And just be honest,

Like,

That question of why is this happening to me,

Creates obviously and comes from a victim state.

There's nothing wrong with that.

There's no shame in it.

And there is no judgment here.

It's about being aware and putting the flashlight onto what's going on.

And here,

This is important.

Here's the little tweak that when you change that one word will change that question for you.

And we'll help you to get from a victim state of mind and victim energy into an empowered state of mind and energy.

And thank you for being honest,

Tina.

Tina is saying many times.

And yeah,

I've thought that many times.

And yes,

Emily,

Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for being authentic and transparent because we are all in it together.

And it's not about pretending,

Oh my God,

I have it all together all the time.

It's like,

No,

Everybody has those moments of feeling like a victim or being in that victim self pity and painful state.

It's totally good.

It's totally okay.

Now that you write down,

I would even say write that down for a moment,

Just to make it really clear on the little shift that you're going to take.

Why is this happening to me?

Question mark.

Why is this happening to me?

Question mark.

And now we're going to change something.

Whenever you're ready,

I'm going to grab your pen.

And instead of asking the question,

Why?

So you erase,

You literally take your pen and you just cross Y off.

And you substitute that with the word what.

And bear with me,

I'm going to take this a step deeper.

But so step number three is shifting the question from why is this happening to me to what is happening to me?

What is happening to me?

Now let me elaborate a little bit on this because this is super,

Super powerful.

So when we ask the question,

Why is this happening to me?

It comes from Oh my God,

For me,

What is this happening to me?

And I'm a victim.

When you shift the question to what is happening to me?

What we're doing is like,

Okay,

I'm going to go into an exploration,

Discovery,

Curious mind,

To find out what's actually happening inside of me,

That makes me feel the way I feel right now,

Or what's actually happening right now to me inside of me,

That I have this negative state or emotion or trigger.

Triggers is a very,

You can apply these five steps and triggers so beautifully.

And I will give you an example.

And you can use that with whatever is going on in your life right now.

Ask the question,

What is happening to me?

And then be very specific in different areas.

Meaning first area purely physical.

Like I give you an example of being deeply heartbroken.

That I've been in my life that you might have experienced that.

So sometimes it's when we,

And again,

Apply this to your own moment in time or to your own story.

This is just to give an example.

Let's say you're going through a breakup.

Let's say you lost someone you love.

It's like,

You lost someone you love.

Let's say you're in severe pain and loneliness,

Despair,

Just pain.

And you keep thinking about why is this happening?

Why is this happening?

Why is this happening?

And then you ask,

What is happening to me?

And you start simply with,

My chest hurts.

Like my chest is tense.

So you go and take inventory to become an observer of what is happening.

And then you say,

Oh,

I feel this pain.

And you become really specific.

You really it's like,

Oh,

It hurts here.

It feels constricted.

And you just observe.

You just take inventory.

And then you go deeper and it's like,

What's happening inside of me right now is that I feel lonely.

Maybe that's it,

Right?

So it's like,

Okay,

That's the feeling.

I feel rejected.

Well,

That's so painful.

And you just keep digging whatever the story is,

The thought.

You know,

You just like,

What is happening to me in my physical body,

In my emotional body,

In my mental body,

In my energetic body.

And of course,

You know,

If it's something severe that you need more help with,

You might want to work with someone.

That's what I do with my clients.

You know,

You want to have a coach,

A therapist,

Someone that navigates that on a deeper level,

But you can do that third step.

And you want to dig deeper and investigate what is actually truly happening.

Because when we are in a victim state of mind,

We assume and create the story that is often even not real,

Especially when we assume that somebody is thinking a certain way or that we are afraid of someone judging us and we create this whole story.

And then you simply go back and say,

Okay,

So what's really happening inside of me?

And then you can even take it further.

And what's really happening outside of me?

So question,

Does that make sense?

What are you hearing me say that is landing for you specifically about this third step?

I can't say much more about it,

But I just want to give you a little bit to work on.

And so for example,

If you are in a judgmental,

And here I see this comment from a lot.

So when you are judging someone else,

And you believe that's how you feel because someone else is doing this for you,

Then you go,

Okay,

So you want to shift your mindset away from complaining and blaming because as long as you blame,

You take your power away,

You give your power away.

So you let go of that person and it's like,

Okay,

What's happening to me?

I feel totally disrespected.

I feel small or I am angry.

And you just take responsibility.

Okay,

So this is happening for me inside.

And then of course,

You get to do also the work.

So let me repeat this here real quick.

First step is you do make a decision that you do want to change the state that you're in,

The negative state.

Step number two,

You take and repeat after me,

What do you do?

You take three deep breaths.

Step number three,

You shift your awareness and you focus on away from why is this happening to me?

And you go into what is happening to me.

And step number four is you investigate,

You take inventory,

And you're really specific.

You might even want to write it down.

You want to journal around it.

Whatever works best for you.

And yes,

This will help you.

This will help you.

And you might most likely,

If it's a deep issue,

Have to do some deeper inner work with that.

Okay.

So in step number five,

The final step here is that with your new awareness,

With your new discovery,

With what you've just discovered,

And if you do those first four steps,

You will shift even if it's just that much.

You might get hit by the belief or the wound that you might have,

Or it's never enough.

And you will say,

Yes,

But I still feel this and that,

Or yes,

But.

.

.

So you repeat this process because that's a negative state of mind from a victim's face as well.

So if you followed the first four steps,

You have shifted in some way,

Even if it's only through awareness.

And the final step is that you make a new decision,

A new decision that you make,

You basically assess the situation again.

You look back and you make a new decision on something that you can move forward to,

Like something behavioral,

Some action or a thought,

Or you make a decision to use this new information in order to step out of the negative thought,

Even if it's only to set the tone or to create a pathway.

You don't have to find the complete solution,

Fix this or whatever you want to call it within a short amount of time if it's a big deal,

But you do want to very consciously in the end of this act like fifth step to consciously make a new decision on how you're going to move forward with this.

Simple could be first step was,

Oh my God,

I'm so angry.

And this person,

You know,

Like,

Oh,

My,

My,

My girlfriend,

My,

My kid,

My boss.

And because they are this somehow like that.

So you shift perspective and say,

Okay,

I want to change this.

You make the decision.

Okay.

Make the decision.

I'm going to change that.

Step number two is step number two,

Make the decision.

Step number two is repeat after me.

What's step number two,

Take three deep breaths and then you check inside.

You disengage from the complaint.

You disengage from the blaming.

You take empowered action by taking responsibility to what,

How you are reacting,

What's happening inside of you.

And then you take inventory.

Step number four,

You are specific,

You kind of work through it.

And step number five,

You make a new decision.

So before it was maybe being in blaming or judging or trying to change something on the outside,

The new,

The new decision could be,

Okay,

I just realized I wanted something and that made me upset because,

But I actually didn't really convey or communicate my need.

So that decision could be,

Okay,

So I'm going to be clear on what it is that I actually want,

And I'm going to ask for it in a different way because before this didn't really help me.

Okay.

So these are the five steps to get out of a negative state quickly.

And when I say quickly,

It will take deeper work.

If it's something that has all triggers,

That has a wound attached from the past that is related or connected to a trauma field from the past,

There might be limiting beliefs that you get to address as well.

So,

However,

If you use those five steps on a regular basis and you practice those practice those on a regular basis,

It will change your life.

You will shift over time from a victim perspective,

From a victim energy state to an empowered,

Yeah,

Self-trusting,

Self-reliant,

Powerful state.

Okay.

So before you jump off here,

Before I finish this call,

I want you to take another nasty breath and tune in.

What was the most valuable you've got out of this call today?

What's the biggest takeaway for you today?

What is your number one takeaway?

And I invite you and I really urge you to write it down and share it because when we do that,

You bring more energy into it.

You kind of like create a new pathway and you encourage for yourself.

It also helps others to read your biggest takeaway.

And of course it's beautiful feedback for me.

And I always love your feedback.

I appreciate it.

It means the world to me when you leave a comment with your biggest takeaway.

So take that moment,

Take that moment and think about what is my biggest takeaway here and take a moment to leave a comment or leave a review,

Depending on where you are listening this or watching this.

And I'm going to share one or two that I see already.

And then looking outside of myself takes away my power.

Yeah,

Great.

Take away emanate.

I'm going to say a word of someone else,

Bad energy,

If you're liberated,

Great.

And one other takeaway here,

Go deeper asking what's happening to me.

Thank you.

You're very welcome.

These are all amazing takeaways.

So please,

If you haven't left your takeaway,

Just leave a comment below.

If this was valuable to you,

If this was beneficial in any way,

Like this video or leave a review on where you are listening in and share it with someone that you love and pay it forward.

Thank you for being here today.

I love you.

I appreciate you.

Come back next Monday for a new episode of Soul Infused Monday.

And I wish you a wonderful inspired and meaningful week.

Much love.