Why Obsessing Over Clarity Is Keeping You Stuck

We often wait for clarity before taking action — thinking we need to have it all figured out before we can move forward. But what if it’s the other way around?

In this short talk, I explore how confusion isn’t a problem to fix, but a natural part of growth and change. You’ll hear how messy action, small steps, and embodied self-trust can create the clarity we’re searching for. Not through more thinking, but through movement and presence.
If you’ve been feeling stuck, scattered, or caught in overthinking… this talk is for you.

If you’d like to go deeper, I’ve also recorded a short meditation called Feel Your Way to Clarity: a simple practice to help you reconnect with your own inner knowing, through the body.

Transcript

In this talk today I wanted to share a few thoughts about clarity and confusion.

We often think that clarity is better than confusion,

We want clarity before making a decision or taking action.

Because clarity feels like peace,

Calm and knowing and confusion on the opposite feels more like chaos,

Darkness and even overwhelm sometimes.

Like not knowing and it's often very uncomfortable.

But the question is,

Is that really true?

Imagine you're having to make an important decision such as choosing a new career path or deciding whether to stay or leave in a relationship.

These decisions are often challenging and have consequences.

It's not like we're just choosing which kind of bread to have for breakfast and it's just normal to want to feel sure before making a move.

But often that wish for clarity keeps us stuck in a loop of overthinking,

Trying to control the uncontrollable and we end up in analysis paralysis,

Where we just think and think and the more we think the same thoughts over again,

The more we feel confused and hesitate to take any kind of action.

Up to a point even where we feel like we don't see anything anymore,

Like we don't really know what to do.

You can imagine it's a little bit like being in a swamp,

Like being stuck in the mud and you could take a next step in any kind of direction,

But you don't really see where you're going because it's foggy,

The ground beneath you is unstable,

It's icky and really difficult to even lift your feet.

And so every step feels heavy and uncertain.

And it's also a bit scary taking a step,

There's so much uncertainty around you,

You don't know where you're going and which direction will take us out of the swamp.

And just like in the swamp,

It's often challenging to move forward in life because we don't know where our decisions,

Our next steps will take us.

We have thoughts about that,

Ideas,

Dreams,

But nothing is really certain,

Right?

And so of course we hesitate.

And sometimes we tell ourselves,

Well,

If I don't have clarity,

Maybe I shouldn't move at all.

Maybe it's not even worth taking any step at all and it's better to stay where I am because this is what I know.

And so often we just stay where we are,

In the swamp of confusion,

So to say.

But what if confusion isn't really a problem to fix,

But just a natural part of the process?

Wouldn't it be great if we could also see the beauty and the excitement in the confusion?

Because for once,

It doesn't really matter in which direction we go or how far.

Every step matters,

No matter how big or small it is.

It can completely shift your perspective because you're moving in a different direction.

Just think about the swamp again.

We don't know what awaits us behind the fog,

Which amazing landscape or maybe an amazing mountain or river,

But potentially every step brings us closer to finding that out.

And consider also that if we always knew exactly where we were going,

We might get overwhelmed by the distance,

The obstacles or the decisions we had to make,

The consequences.

Think of standing at the foot of a huge mountain,

Maybe even Mount Everest.

If you saw the full path ahead all at once,

It might seem quite hard,

You know,

Like really,

Really far and really difficult to get there.

And so what we do often is we freeze when we see all the steps we need to take.

We get stuck.

And so finally,

We don't do it.

Whereas when we are not exactly knowing where we're going,

But just focusing on each step,

Each step that we can take,

The very next step you can take and what you need right in the moment and what you can do in the moment,

Then it's so much easier to accomplish.

And this is how,

In the end,

The whole journey becomes possible,

Step by step.

And so,

Yeah,

We just need to take one more step,

Small or big,

It doesn't matter.

And even just staying still for a while,

Waiting for the fog,

Let's say,

To clear,

Recharging our energy,

Reorienting ourselves,

It's okay.

It's part of the whole journey.

And not knowing where we're heading,

Isn't that also kind of exciting?

Anything could be behind that fog.

There is so much potential because who knows what the next step holds?

What's behind the next step?

We don't know.

We just have thoughts about it,

But it's really not clear what the next step brings.

And when you're in that in-between state,

That state of not knowing,

Anything is possible.

You're not locked into one path.

Possibilities are created while you move forward.

So instead of fearing the swamp of uncertainty and confusion,

Maybe we can embrace it as a space for experimentation and discovery,

Where we can try out new things and see what's really suitable for us.

And doesn't that sound more empowering and motivating than telling ourselves,

Well,

I'm stuck,

I'm confused,

Or even lost?

So what if confusion isn't a block,

But an invitation?

Think about this.

When we're confused,

It means we're looking.

We're sensing that something in our life needs to shift,

And we're looking for new possibilities.

We are creating.

Yes,

Uncertainty can feel messy.

There's often chaos,

Discomfort,

And fear.

But that discomfort,

It shows us that we're in transition,

That something inside us is moving,

And we are looking to change what's no longer serving us.

And there are options and possibilities in the uncertainty and the not knowing.

And yes,

Clarity and knowing for sure feels often better,

More comforting and just safe.

The thing is,

Do we actually really know for sure?

Is there really certainty in what we think is certain?

Yeah,

And if we consider this,

There's not really a reason why not knowing or uncertainty needs to feel less good than clarity.

It's really what we make of it.

If we can engage with the confusion,

Really embrace the muddy process and take action,

Maybe messy,

But that's how we develop our clarity on the way.

Sure,

Messy action can be scary.

It requires us to step outside of our comfort zones and embrace the possibility of failure or getting sidetracked.

But those small steps,

Even the awkward ones,

Are how we figure out what's working for us and what not,

How we begin to feel our way forward.

That's how we develop the knowing,

The knowing of what's ours and what not.

Yes,

We can also think it through and imagine what it would be like,

But only through actual experience do we really know.

And that is a knowing that's felt in our body.

It's a felt experience,

Not just on a mental level,

Not just mental ideas,

But really felt and experienced clarity.

I also wanted to briefly mention how confusion can be a form of resistance with the intention of protection behind.

Maybe you've noticed this in yourself too,

That sometimes we do have the clarity,

The Maybe without realizing it.

Because sometimes it's just so much easier to stay where we are and keep telling ourselves that we are stuck,

Not knowing what to do,

Instead of taking a step into the unknown,

Out of our comfort zone,

The zone of knowing,

And not really knowing if it's going to work out the way we imagined it.

Because what if it doesn't work out the way we wanted it,

Then maybe we lose our dream,

Our big dream,

Our hopes,

And that doesn't feel good at all because we feel like we're left with nothing at all,

Not even our dream anymore.

And so we resist,

Naturally,

Because who wants to feel like that,

Who wants to feel uncomfortable?

And it's quite a challenge to leave something that we do know behind,

Even if we are pretty sure it's not what we want anymore,

And instead head towards something unknown,

Like a new job,

Even if we are pretty sure that's what we want.

And this resistance often manifests as an excuse to avoid difficult decisions.

Or any kind of decisions,

It doesn't have to be difficult decisions,

But they feel difficult.

And we keep telling ourselves that,

I don't know,

I'm confused,

I don't have the clarity to take a decision,

And so we keep ourselves from taking the necessary actions that will move us forward,

That will bring us clarity.

And maybe we come up with thoughts like,

My job isn't that bad,

I can stick around another year.

We avoid decisions because,

In fact,

We do know,

And we know it's going to be messy,

We have to face uncomfortable decisions,

Maybe break up,

And whatnot,

If we want to follow our vision,

Our dream.

But we don't want the discomfort,

And so it feels nicer and more easy to just leave everything as it is.

And what can we do to overcome this resistance,

This felt resistance to moving forward?

For once,

We need to remind ourselves that just because something may feel uncomfortable,

That doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do.

And we can take time and space to acknowledge what we're going through,

All the fears and worries,

The uncertainty,

It's nothing to hide or push away,

It's really important that we acknowledge what we're going through,

What we're experiencing.

And these fears and worries and everything,

That's just a natural response,

Because clarity can be frightening and overwhelming.

It involves decisions,

Tough decisions sometimes that involve leaving loved ones behind maybe,

Or people,

Places,

Yeah,

And these are not decisions that are taken easily.

And in these moments,

Confusion can act like a protective blanket.

And so maybe we tell ourselves subconsciously that we're confused because the very thing we want seems also frightening.

And that protective blanket of confusion keeps us safe,

Safe from making huge decisions that are overwhelming and which we might not be able to handle yet.

Because maybe it's too much at once,

At least in our imagination.

But if we now manage to take small doable steps,

Messy action,

Even if we're not sure if it's going to work out,

Then confusion can actually be empowering and help us move forward.

It's actually pretty genius of us,

If you think about it,

That we sometimes tell ourselves,

I'm not sure I want that big,

Scary,

Frightening thing.

So we push it aside.

But then what we do is we take small,

Doable,

Digestible steps that keep our heart and nervous system at peace.

Let me give you an example.

A few years back,

I knew deep in my heart that it was time for a career change.

But actually quitting my job,

Leaving my beloved apartment behind and the people I love,

Moving to another city or what I wanted to do is take a sabbatical,

Go to travel and not knowing when I was coming back.

That was too scary.

It was too much frightening clarity.

But then drafting an email about handing in my notification,

That was OK.

And a couple of days later,

Rereading that draft and finalizing it,

That was also OK.

It was stretching me a bit,

But it still felt safe and OK.

And then actually sending that email a few days later,

That was also OK.

You see what I mean?

By that,

Step by step through the so-called confusion,

Be it real or imagined,

We can get through to our ultimate goal or something even bigger and better that we could never have imagined from our limited perspective.

And that's another point.

Holding on to one thing too tightly,

Getting attached,

Might close doors that we are not even aware of exist.

But that would suit us even better than what we can imagine.

And it's not that we shouldn't have goals or dreams.

To the contrary.

But really,

If this goal is frightening and you find yourself not taking any action,

Just put it aside for a while.

Not think about it because you know it's in your heart already.

Your compass is set and you can just focus on the present moment and think about or feel into your body and mind.

What do you need right now?

Which step can you take right here and right now?

And by that you get to explore,

You get to experiment and you collect data of knowing because every step you take brings you more clarity if the direction is the right one or not,

If that's what you really want or not.

And you know,

There's a saying,

Life is lived forward but understood backwards.

And that's also something that I came to understand and I really believe that if we take action,

The little step that stretch us a bit but still feel safe taking,

That are aligned with our own pace,

Our own nervous system,

Then we can create beautiful things in our life.

And one day,

When we look back,

It'll all make sense.