The Maiden To Mother Journey

Marlee welcomes back Kaely McDevitt, Registered Dietitian, and women's health expert, for a conversation about the maiden/mother/crone archetypes and the maiden-to-mother journey. Kaely shares about her own maiden-to-mother journey related to life, business, exercise, overall health, and motherhood as well as the parallels she's discovered with this archetypal journey related to women's health.

Kaely also shares about how to embody the mother archetype and how to feel good in your body!

Transcript

Welcome to the Shifting with Marlee podcast.

I'm Marlee.

Thank you for joining me wherever you are.

All that I ask of you,

The listener,

Is to have an open mind and an open heart.

And in return,

I offer you myself.

Today,

We're going to talk about archetypes and specifically the maiden-to-mother journey.

As Sarah Durham Wilson says,

Archetypes are universal symbols,

Images,

And constructs that help us make sense of our individual lives.

So today,

We're going to use the archetypal maiden-to-mother journey to help us understand ourselves on a deeper level,

And help us bring some awareness to the places we may be stuck and the places that may need a little tender love and care.

We're also going to use the framework of the maiden-to-mother journey to help us connect more deeply with our bodies and our own cycles.

Here to guide us in this journey today is my friend Kaylee McDevitt.

Kaylee is a registered dietitian and founder of KayleeRD with over 10 years of experience in the women's health world.

You may remember Kaylee from back in episode 20,

The Science of Self-Care from back in 2021,

Where we talked about stress management and how to get the best night's sleep.

Welcome back,

Kaylee.

Thanks so much for having me back.

I can't believe it's been that long.

I know,

Time flies.

Thank you so much for coming back on the podcast and sharing more of your wisdom with us.

I'm so grateful.

Oh,

I'm honored.

Kaylee,

I'd love to start today by talking about the qualities of these archetypes.

Can you please share with us a bit about the maiden and mother archetypes and the energies and qualities of each one?

Sure.

I'm so excited to get to talk about this for a whole episode because this is such a fun fun and like profound topic for it was for me anyways.

And one of my team members,

Jenna,

So shout out to Jenna,

Put the book Maiden to Mother kind of on my radar a little over a year ago.

And it just clicked a lot of things for me personally and professionally.

So I'm pumped to get to talk about it.

But the maiden archetype you can think of as like the spring,

Right?

It's kind of like budding energy.

We're typically younger.

This is typically like first period,

First love.

We're just learning about life really in that phase.

And you don't know yourself very well as maiden,

Still figuring that out.

And because you don't know yourself or really the direction that you're headed yet,

Life is very much still guided by others or external sources is a key thing with that.

And then we transition to mother.

And mother we can think of like the summer,

Which I think is really cool.

And I'm sure we'll come back to that topic because mother is full bloom,

Right?

It's not this old forgotten about version of a woman.

It's full bloom.

And at the mother intersection,

We know ourself,

We know the direction that we're headed.

We're really tapped into creation at this phase.

And rather than looking to external sources for influence,

We influence culture and direction.

And then there's one other archetype after that,

That I know we'll talk a little bit about too,

But it's called either the crone or wise woman.

And this is like autumn to winter timeframe if we're looking at seasons.

And this is like peak wisdom,

Self-fulfillment,

Freedom,

Because we know who we are and we've just gathered years of all of this knowledge.

You just explained that so well.

Thank you so much.

And the maiden too,

I want to add is the energy of the princess,

Right?

And the mother is the queen.

And I also want to add the maiden is vibrant,

Excited,

Bold,

Courageous,

Daring,

Adventurous,

Joyful,

Eager,

And that fresh and innocent and kind of immature vibe as well.

And the mother is like you mentioned creative,

But also sensual,

Intuitive,

Nurturing,

Receptive,

Strong,

Mature,

Confident,

Secure,

And really connected to her body and the earth.

And I think it's important to point out as well that you don't need to have a child to be in that mother archetype or embodying that mother energy.

And there's also no specific age where you kind of automatically become mother,

Right?

It's very,

Very unique to each person's life path.

Yeah.

I think that that's a really cool and important piece of that too.

There is no set moment when these transitions happen.

And they're also not things that just happen to you.

This is an internal process.

And I think culturally we've gotten so far removed from rites of passage and celebrating these kinds of things that if you're not intentionally looking for opportunities for this,

Then it will pass by.

Absolutely.

And I love that you shouted out the crone as well,

Because even though it's maybe not our focus today,

We cannot forget about the crone.

We love our crones.

We honor,

Right,

Our wise elders.

And these are like kind of our grandmothers,

Our guides,

And they have that deep knowledge and wisdom that they've gained through their life experiences.

So we honor them as well.

Yes.

Yes.

And I can't wait.

I'm excited for crone season for myself.

And I think,

Kaylee,

We can't be one without the other,

Right?

We're not demonizing any of the archetypes here.

We're especially not demonizing the maiden.

In order to get to mother,

We have to move through maiden,

Right?

So can you tell us a bit more about that maiden to mother journey?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's probably going to look different from person to person in terms of when in life this might happen or some of those culminating events.

But it's really becoming connected with who you are and your purpose,

Knowing yourself well,

Being grounded in who you are.

I think grounded with the earth is a big part of this too.

And it's where we go from seeking external validation to really being self-sourced and pulling from our own inner well of knowledge and experience.

And so it's a maturity thing,

Right?

If we look at maiden to mother transitions,

This is a journey of maturing and aging and growing and knowing yourself.

And I think a typical transition point that people often think of could be things like graduating from college and starting your big girl job or potentially getting married or potentially having kids.

Or there's a lot of different pivotal moments in life where that transition can happen.

But I know when I was digging into this work,

I was thinking so much about who I was at the college graduation timeframe.

And I was absolutely not transitioned into a mother archetype at that point.

I was very much hanging out in maiden and didn't really know myself very well back then.

So I think if I had to summarize that more succinctly,

The maiden to mother transition is like a coming home to who you are and what you're here for and what you're doing.

Yes,

Absolutely.

It's a journey of maturing,

Like you mentioned,

And learning the lessons of maiden so that you can move into mother and embody that mother energy and those mother qualities that we mentioned.

But Kaylee,

This transition from maiden to mother doesn't happen automatically.

It doesn't just come with aging,

Right?

It's really easy to get stuck along the way and get stuck in maiden.

And that's what we call the wounded maiden,

Which we'll get into.

And there's many women who have children,

For example,

Who are stuck in the wounded maiden energy.

This transition to mother takes a lot of support,

Awareness,

Knowledge,

Consciousness,

And ownership,

Right?

And we unfortunately don't always have this model to us,

Right?

A lot of us have a lot of mothers who may be stuck in a wounded maiden to this day,

And we have a lot of cultural conditioning keeping us stuck in maiden as well.

Yes,

Gosh,

Big time.

So how do you think our culture really has held women back from reaching that embodied mother and kept so many women in wounded maiden?

A lot of different ways.

I think one of them is this complete separation of the rite of passage.

If you look back in ancient cultures and mythology,

Which I think is a really cool place to learn about this,

There used to be a lot more celebration and event and community around these rites of passage for men and for women too.

So I think we've lost that.

So we don't really celebrate that.

And I think even about menstruation in the first period and how there's such an opportunity to celebrate that rite of passage.

And usually it's like,

We're embarrassed or we're told this is going to be miserable,

So just suck it up until forever.

Same thing happens with the mother and then eventually the crone transition too.

There's just no ceremony around that.

I think the second part is the lack of community,

Particularly women in community with other women,

So that you can be in the energy of women that really embody that mother archetype or crone archetype and learn from them and their lessons.

And I just don't think we were supposed to be doing all of this alone.

And then the one that I think is one of the most pervasive ways that we've sabotaged this transition is our fear of aging.

Oh,

Gosh.

I mentioned spending most of my time on Instagram with work stuff.

And I think you can see so many examples of this there between the plastic surgery and the fillers and the filters and just this fear of looking like you've lived and experienced your life.

So how can we expect ourselves to transition through these different archetypes if we're clinging to the ideal that maiden is the only lovable and beautiful option?

Unexpectedly really emotional as you were talking about that.

Oh my god,

It's a real thing,

Kaylee.

And you touched on so many good points.

I love that answer so much.

And we basically have a culture that romanticizes the maiden and demonizes aging.

And we aren't supported in learning about our bodies or connecting to our bodies or connecting to aging or celebrating aging or listening to our bodies.

And we internalize all of this subconsciously.

And when we internalize all of this,

All this cultural conditioning,

We then keep ourselves stuck in maiden as a result.

It's like this vicious cycle.

And then we teach that to the next generation.

And then on top of all of that,

Like you mentioned,

We're lacking in that celebration and community and celebration of the sacred rites of passage.

So all in all,

We haven't been supported on this journey.

But it is time to take our power back and rediscover the maiden to mother journey and come back into right relationship with our bodies.

Amen.

Well said.

And I think the responsibility part is really key because one of the elements of being stuck in that wounded maiden that you were alluding to is this victim consciousness that we tend to adopt.

And trust me,

I get very soapboxy about things in the women's health space.

And it's easy to just be really pissed that we haven't been set up for success here and that maybe this wasn't modeled to us from the other women in our life.

And I think some of that anger,

Of course,

Is valid,

But then also taking ownership for the fact that you can make these transitions at any point.

Like if you're hearing about this,

Quote unquote,

Later in life,

Hey,

It can happen at any time when you decide.

So there's no time frame for this,

But it does rely on you taking ownership over it.

Absolutely.

And I actually want to touch more on that wounded maidens that people can kind of look out for the signs and bring more awareness to areas that they may be kind of stuck in maiden.

So can you give us some of those qualities of the wounded maiden?

Yeah.

So some of the ones that come to mind for me is like a sense of unworthiness and really being reliant on external validation of worth,

Which is a big one.

I'm like,

You know,

Full on call myself out with that too because we haven't centered our worth from within yet.

So we're still always looking outside.

So you might find a wounded maiden really influenced by what other people think of her and what she does and what she says and her worth.

There's typically a constant underlying sense of like lack of safety or danger,

Because again,

We're not grounded in who we are.

We don't feel secure in that really lacking self trust.

So a big theme with the maiden archetype wounded or otherwise is like seeking external input on what we should do or where we should go next.

There can be a lot of abandonment in the wounded maiden type.

Yeah.

And then just big themes on like external validation is what I think about.

That is a perfect,

Perfect explanation.

And that was really helpful.

And I want to give some kind of additional comparison examples of wounded maiden versus mother kind of to help solidify this concept and really drive it home.

And I just want to point out all these examples are from Sarah Durham Wilson's book,

Made Into Mother.

Okay.

So in maiden,

We begin things,

But in mother,

We see things through to completion.

In wounded maiden,

We seek external validation,

Like you mentioned,

But in mother,

We seek inner value and we validate ourselves.

Mm-hmm.

In wounded maiden,

Life happens to us.

In mother,

Life happens through us.

I think that's my favorite one.

The maiden reacts while the mother responds.

In wounded maiden,

We are insecure.

In mother,

We have inner security.

In wounded maiden,

We aren't present and are always busy.

Whereas in mother,

We are present and living in the moment.

That one really hits home for me.

Yeah,

Really good.

In wounded maiden,

We self-pity and play the victim.

Whereas in mother,

We take responsibility for our lives,

Like we talked about.

In wounded maiden,

We people please.

That's a big one.

But in mother,

We have self-love and inner acceptance.

In maiden,

We wait to be saved.

In mother,

We save ourselves.

That one gives me chills.

Yeah,

Me too.

In wounded maiden,

We are fearful.

In mother,

We trust ourselves.

In wounded maiden,

We are jealous and competitive with other women.

In mother,

We are supportive of other women.

That's a huge one.

Yeah.

In wounded maiden,

We are desperate for attention.

In mother,

We are content and at ease.

In wounded maiden,

We are stuck in perfectionism,

Calling us all out there.

In mother,

We embrace our imperfections and non-linear growth.

In wounded maiden,

We suffer from that not enoughness.

But in mother,

We realize we have enough and we are enough.

That one makes me emotional.

Yeah.

In wounded maiden,

We are overwhelmed.

Whereas in mother,

We are in charge.

In wounded maiden,

We bite off more than we can chew and take on too much responsibility.

In mother,

We delegate and ask for support.

Calling myself out with that one.

In wounded maiden,

We listen to outside voices.

In mother,

We listen to our inner voice and intuition.

In maiden,

We obsess over how things look.

In mother,

Our concern is how things feel.

And finally,

In a wounded maiden,

We are fast,

Frantic,

Anxious,

And possibly unable to commit.

In mother,

We are slow,

Sensual,

Embodied,

And purposeful.

Phew.

Okay.

That was a lot.

That was good.

Hopefully,

It's super clear now how being stuck in maiden can be detrimental to us and hold us back and why the maiden to mother journey is super,

Super important.

Yeah.

I was struck listening to that both by how calming it is to hear those mother traits.

Even just picturing a woman really tapped into that,

That presence would be soothing to be around.

Then also,

The fact that we need to go through maiden to get to that point.

That frantic kinetic energy and seeking out and learning and all of that is an important step.

We're certainly not bashing the maiden.

We all have to go through that.

But imagine how stressful and frantic life would feel if we don't make that jump over to mother and we spend the whole life in that space.

Exactly.

Honestly,

What a relief almost it is to be in that mother energy.

Yeah.

Kaley,

What parallels have you seen in your work with the maiden to mother journey and women's health and also parallels from the wounded maiden and women's health?

Yes.

This has quickly become one of my favorite things to think about and talk about because when I was reading this book,

I was so struck by what we see in practice.

We serve women in the childbearing age range,

So like 20 to mid 40s typically.

A lot of our clients are dealing with fertility issues.

A lot of them are moms.

A lot of them are about to be moms.

So it's like big centering around that mother transition.

When I was reading that list of wounded maiden traits versus mother traits,

I was really struck by how similar those are from the start to the end of a healing journey.

When you've been dealing with health stuff for a long time and symptoms that really take you out of enjoying your life and being present in your life,

We embody a lot of that baseline anxiety and biting off more than we can chew and perfectionism is huge in the health space.

Even with quote unquote good things,

People are trying to do health perfectly and it's keeping them stuck.

I just felt like so many of our clients and myself included years ago on my own hormone healing journey really fit the criteria of maiden and some of the wounded maiden traits.

Then as a result of healing work where we've really learned how to nourish ourselves and get in touch with our body and our cycle and replenished our minerals and realized where we were living in a way that was creating those symptoms,

Those traits on the other side really match that of the mother archetype,

Very grounded and at ease and trusting themselves.

I think it's such a cool way to look at health and nutrition because I think after 10 years or so,

I was just kind of bored of the typical way of looking at it and I always felt like there was something bigger happening under the scene.

This really gave me a framework for understanding what that transition really was and how health struggles can be one of the reasons that keeps you stuck in maiden versus mother because we really can't advance if we don't feel good in our body.

Wow,

Kaylee,

I feel like this is a really profound connection and parallel that you found.

I'm curious,

Are there specific symptoms or test results that you're seeing in maiden and wounded maiden at this kind of the start of that health journey with your clients that then you're helping to kind of move through and resolve into that mother energy?

Yes.

The clearest example of this that we see in practice is mineral status.

We run a lot of HTMAs,

So hair tissue mineral analysis testing,

Because it gives us a snapshot into the underlying biochemistry and stress of the last three months.

Almost every time when we run this for the first time with a client,

We see a really clear pattern of stress and depletion.

It's like a woman that's been burning the candle on both ends.

She's pouring into everyone around her and not herself.

She's trying to be perfect about all the health stuff and running herself into the ground.

When we're really depleted in minerals,

What I've seen is that we actually can't yet have this discussion because we are too on alert.

We're running on stress hormones.

You can't have big pondering questions in that state.

We work on minerals first.

When we can start to put minerals back in the system,

It means that we can buffer the stressors of day-to-day life better.

We can digest food better.

We can make hormones better.

We provide raw materials for all our enzymes to work.

Then we can start to explore some of these bigger concepts.

We see a depletion to repletion from a mineral perspective.

Then from hormones,

The typical predicament for most women that are having cycle symptoms or fertility issues is that their balance between estrogen and progesterone is off.

We tend to be higher estrogen if we're really symptomatic and lower progesterone.

Then that mother archetype is like that is progesterone's action.

Progesterone is the grounded,

The at-home-in-my-body,

The carrying a pregnancy if that's a goal,

The sleeping well,

The anti-anxiety.

Progesterone is the mother hormone.

Estrogen feels like the maiden.

Wow,

Kaylee.

I feel like part of your purpose is helping women transition from the maiden to mother archetype.

That's really,

Really beautiful.

Thank you.

I know.

It's a cool way to think about it and I think just opens up a lot of cool discussion beyond the typical.

I think it's a really,

Really helpful perspective.

Getting a little personal now,

Kaylee,

Can you please share with us some aspects of your own personal maiden to mother journey with your life and with your own health?

Yeah,

Sure.

I mentioned this earlier.

Marlee and I went to college together in case anyone missed our maiden years.

Yes,

Those were maiden years for sure.

I definitely did not graduate college feeling like I had made that transition to mother.

I'm trying to think of even an age where I feel like that really started to happen.

A big part of it was my own health journey.

It was coming off of birth control,

Getting to make progesterone again,

Repleting some minerals,

And then also just realizing how much of my own perfectionism was standing in my way of health and over exercise.

There was a lot of layers to that,

But it took me a while to make that transition and it's honestly still a work in progress too.

I think it's developed a really nice practice of checking in with myself and I notice on days or weeks where I'm feeling really disconnected from purpose or more anxious or health symptoms are flaring,

It's because I'm deviating a little bit more towards some of those maiden tendencies.

I also just want to normalize the fact that you don't just arrive at mother and never have to work on this again.

I think it's been an ongoing thing really over the last 10-ish years or so of trying to find my way through that rite of passage and not really feeling like I had a lot of this modeled to me or accessing it in community and trying to seek opportunities out.

I will say that things changed exponentially for me when I did seek out community opportunities with women and to get to be around women that really embody that mother energy is just so nourishing.

I do seek that out routinely and then just develop a good practice of really kind of connecting with my inner self more than external stuff.

If I can do that in the morning,

Things are so much better for the day versus going outside like on social media or internet or even talking to other people.

Thank you so much for sharing that.

Yeah,

You and I have been on this journey together since we've been friends for so many years now and we really lived a lot of our maiden years together.

It's been really beautiful to witness from my outside perspective your transformation and to see you really step into your power and embody more of that mother archetype.

It's been a huge source of inspiration for me.

I'm just lucky to know you and I love you so much.

Likewise,

I feel the same way.

I'll share for me,

My maiden years were very go,

Go,

Go.

I know they were for you as well,

Kaylee.

You and I kind of had a fairly similar experience,

Always busy,

Never slowing down,

Drinking alcohol,

Partying,

Gossiping,

Pushing my body past its limits.

I was,

I know you were as well,

Working full-time while going to grad school at night.

Those were the maiden years.

Not prioritizing sleep,

Not honoring my boundaries.

Let me tell you,

It all culminated for me in severe burnout and a dysregulated nervous system.

That was really my wake-up call and the start of my transition to that mother archetype and mother energy because I really had no choice.

My body was like,

No more.

Yes,

I feel that.

For me,

It was like not graduating college.

That wasn't it.

It was like graduating grad school.

It was like once that was done,

Then my body was like,

That's it.

Thank goodness it was.

Yeah,

Exactly.

I also will share as well,

When I transitioned really out of maiden and into mother,

And obviously it's fluid.

You kind of go back and forth,

But I am definitely out of that maiden energy mostly.

Let's say at least 70% of the time.

My body changed as well and it definitely got a lot softer when I transitioned out of maiden.

Yeah,

Same.

I think a lot of that is just the pace of life and not living on stress hormones so much that really break everything down.

So yeah,

That softness I think is key.

Yeah,

That's definitely my experience as well.

Kaley,

It seems like a huge part of transitioning out of maiden and into mother has to do with nervous system regulation and getting out of living off of those stress hormones.

I'm just curious,

Can you please share with us your favorite tips and tools for nervous system regulation?

Because I just feel like it's the most important thing.

I totally agree with you.

It's kind of the same vein as I was talking about minerals,

Where we can't have these discussions yet until we get some level of safety in the body.

And so working on the nervous system first can oftentimes be the most effective thing you can do,

Especially if you're looking at other things health-wise that you could change.

One of the most simple ones is just really how we breathe.

What's typical for modern humans that live in captivity at desks in front of computers like I do is that we breathe these short,

Shallow breaths into our chest only.

A lot of times it's through our mouth and not our nose.

And the way that we breathe,

Whether it's through our mouth or our nose and the cadence of the breath and the depth of the breath actually tell your nervous system how safe or unsafe the environment is.

And when we breathe that way,

We're literally telling our body,

I am not safe.

There's a threat.

I'm probably running from some kind of a tiger.

And if we can't slow that breath down,

We're going to struggle to see results beyond that point.

So it's easy to put like a little post-it note on your computer that's like,

Just breathe,

Where we literally just close our mouth and breathe through our nose.

We slow it way down,

Breathe into our belly and just elongate that exhale.

And it's something that is free.

You can access it safely at work,

In the car,

In the middle of a stressful conversation or confrontation,

Like it's always available to you.

And that one you feel in real time.

I think tapping can be a really cool tool as well.

It's the emotional freedom technique or EFT.

You might find it on YouTube.

There's a ton of just free stuff for this.

You don't need a program.

But again,

It's something that you can do like in the moment where we're feeling that nervous system dysregulation to help calm us and center us down.

Working on minerals is a big part of this too.

It's not as like tactical as the breathing,

But it does influence the flexibility of your nervous system.

So thinking about like getting some magnesium and whether that's an Epsom salt bath or foot bath,

Using some quality salt,

A pinch of it in your water or on your meal,

Getting some potassium in those things really,

Like I swear I can feel like an exhale on like my shoulders come down when I'm working on minerals.

And then there's like an unlimited number of nervous system tools and programs and things out there for you.

We use one called Rewire with our clients.

That's really awesome.

It's essentially like a database of different tools that you can use like top down and bottom up techniques.

But some people love meditation or yoga,

Breath work,

Journaling.

Yeah.

Tapping,

All of those things would fall under the realm of supporting the nervous system.

I love it.

So important.

Thank you for those tips and tools.

So back to your personal journey,

Kaylee,

Since you've owned your own business for so many years now,

I'm really curious how your business and your relationship to your business has evolved along with you on your maiden to mother journey.

Oh man,

It has changed in every capacity.

Yeah,

There isn't an avenue that hasn't changed in the last 10 years or so.

And it makes sense because part of it was like how I was existing in the business in terms of what I was putting on my schedule,

What I was saying yes to,

And just absolutely running myself ragged the first couple of years.

And then also how I was influenced by like others doing similar work,

Like the external aspect.

There was a big like keeping up with the news and keeping up with the news and keeping up with There was a big like keeping up with the Jones's season of my business that was exhausting and stressful,

A big like trying to basically make your business emulate these other successful ones instead of it just being true to you.

And it never quite feels right when you do that.

Even if you're seeing success from a business standpoint,

It just feels inauthentic.

So over the last,

I think it's been seven years since I started this business,

Which is crazy,

A little over seven years,

Maybe like almost eight.

I just realized it was February.

So it's been a lot of years of that.

And so I've really reworked like how my schedule works,

What things I'm protecting myself from creating boundaries for,

And then also making sure that instead of looking to like what are other people doing for things,

Whether it's an offering or a social media thing,

I'm checking in with myself first,

Like what feels true to me and what feels in alignment with me.

And I've just developed like bigger and bigger blinders over the years.

And I swear in the last year,

The most,

I just like do not care what's going on outside of what I'm doing.

And it is the most freeing thing.

And I just feel a lot more on purpose and like in alignment with the things that I'm saying,

If I haven't let external things influence what I'm doing.

So I guess like the development of blinders and creating some boundaries were the two biggest things.

And what about also delegation and your team?

Huge.

Yes.

So it was a one woman show for many years in the beginning because I was too scared to delegate.

And so over the years slowly built like a bigger and bigger team.

And I think this is a huge part of why this year has felt so balanced with work is that I have the support of a team that's really aligned on the same mission.

Like we have this conversation weekly because we're all really into this too.

And allowing people to step into their zone of genius to do things that were outside of mine is like the coolest thing.

I'm like,

We're all on this ship going the same direction,

But it wasn't supposed to be done alone.

And that has protected my nervous system and health,

But also allowed me to step further into that mother energy.

Fascinating.

I love talking about this.

And remember the queen doesn't do everything herself.

The queen delegates.

So I love that a big part of your journey with your business has been the boundaries and also growing your team and learning to delegate as much as possible because I feel like that's very mother archetype of you.

Thank you.

Working on it every day.

I also know Kayla,

You have a great story to tell about your exercise routine and how that has evolved on your maiden to mother journey.

Yes.

Oh man.

I don't even really relate to the version of me that I will discuss,

But you knew her well.

She ran marathons and would get up.

I guess it feels so foreign.

Now I feel like I'm talking about somebody else,

But I would get up at ungodly hours and run obscene amounts of miles before school,

Before work.

This went on for many years.

And I added CrossFit on top of that at one point too.

So I was running marathons,

Doing really high intense training.

And I grew up an athlete.

So I think I was always seeking that kind of competitive,

Almost masculine energy that I got from that.

I also derived a lot of worth from physical accomplishments too.

So it was like,

If I wasn't doing something ridiculously hard,

Then I wasn't worthy of celebration.

There was a big connection with my nutrition too.

It was like I had to earn nourishment through intense exercise.

So I had a bit of a come to Jesus moment when I was early on as a dietitian.

I did a bunch of lab work on myself that I was doing for my clients at the time.

And I was like,

I am the vision of health.

I run marathons.

I eat perfect.

This is going to be great.

And my labs were some of the worst I had ever seen.

It was so humbling.

It was appalling.

And so I had to go back to the drawing board a bit and realize that I now had proof,

Even though I had the internal inklings that the way I was moving and living was not supporting my health and was the reason why I had so many hormone symptoms at the time.

So I scaled way back on the exercise.

I had seasons where I was basically just doing some walking and some mobility because I just really needed to let that stress come down.

And much like we discussed with that mother transition and like a softening of the body,

That is a natural occurrence when we drop all of this ridiculous exercise.

And it can be really disorienting and kind of scary at first,

Especially if we really identified with a different version.

But it took me some time off with the training to find something that really felt supportive and wasn't a punishment.

It wasn't running myself into the ground.

It was a celebration of movement and it was building muscle so that I can like live a really long,

Healthy,

Active life.

And so today my exercise looks so different.

It's based on how I'm feeling.

It's based on things that make me feel good and that I actually enjoy.

And it is a lot more fun.

And correct me if I'm wrong,

You also now align your exercise routine with your body cycles.

Yep,

Absolutely.

And that's another big tool for really connecting better to yourself is knowing that different phases of your menstrual cycle allow for different energy.

And it's supposed to be like that.

It's not a flaw of yours.

And so really listening and kind of changing the types of movement you might do or the expectations you put on yourself based on that,

You know,

Moon cycle is really fun.

So fun.

And I feel like it's very mother archetype embodiment.

And are there any other ways,

Kaylee,

That you try to live in alignment with your body cycles beyond your exercise routine?

Yeah.

So with business ownership,

You know,

Obviously I have more flexibility over what my work schedule might look like versus if you work for somebody else.

So,

You know,

Do the best you can with this.

But knowing that different seasons of the menstrual cycle allow for different energy output,

Different levels of confidence and like charisma,

I can plan things accordingly.

So for example,

I like to when I can schedule like speaking engagements or podcasts or launches of some sort really close to ovulation because your external energy output is high.

You're feeling the most confident that you do in the cycle.

I feel like you speak better at that time.

Your energy is just different.

And then I also like to save things like big picture planning and like visioning for the business for actually like late luteal phase going into your period when that energy goes inward instead of external because you can be a lot more introspective in that time and really tap into what matters to you and what scenes you want to plant.

So we do try to schedule work around that as much as possible.

And when we are able to,

It's really cool to see how that impacts things.

So cool.

You're such an inspiration,

Kaylee.

I love you.

Thank you,

Marley.

And so while we're recording this episode,

Speaking of menstrual cycles,

You are currently pregnant with your first child.

Very exciting.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

And I'd love it if you could please share with us what changes you're making in your life and in your business to prepare for motherhood and also what the journey to getting pregnant has been like for you.

Yeah,

I know it was actually funny talking about the cycle syncing stuff because I'm like six six months ish pregnant now,

Which is wild.

And so it's been weird to not have a cycle with.

I've been like keeping up with the moon phases as my way of grounding into that.

But to not have a monthly cycle has been interesting.

So really,

Every change that I mentioned making in my business set me up for this season of life because it's not an option for my business to cease to exist once the baby is born.

I'm going to have to still be working.

So I needed to be able to create an opportunity for a maternity leave that I felt honored my own recovery and supports my baby's best development.

And that required delegating to other people because,

Again,

Business can't just close for that length of time.

And then I am able to be really intentional with how I want to parent and how I want to show up and what that means for reduced capacity with work.

And again,

Really leaning on a team to help make that possible team and systems.

So really,

I've been preparing the business for a while.

And this summer when I have a maternity leave will be the first time I've ever had an extended step back on the business.

And it used to give me a lot of anxiety to think about something like that.

And now I'm just excited for the opportunity to trust and see how it goes and lean on a team that is just so capable.

I mean,

They're better at this than I am,

Honestly.

So it'll be really cool to see that play out.

Lifewise,

I think it's just been a lot of really letting that energy focus be inward instead of outward,

Saying no to a lot more things and actually feeling really,

Really good about it.

Really just focusing on myself.

And I think it's that internal nesting that starts where you're just really focused on your immediate bubble and taking care of you and protecting your energy.

I just find myself shying away from things that don't feel like an immediate yes,

Because I just don't need that.

I just don't need that energy.

I feel very protective over the state of my nervous system,

Because baby is literally learning about the world through my nervous system right now.

So like,

Cool,

And also a lot of responsibility.

So I don't know,

It's just kind of rocked my world in the best of ways and made me really double down on some good practices and develop some new ones.

So beautiful.

Thank you for sharing that.

To sum it up,

I feel like your journey to motherhood has been purposeful,

Intentional,

And embodied,

Which are also all those mother archetype traits,

Right?

And I feel like for your journey to motherhood to have happened in the way that it did,

You already kind of had to be embodying that mother energy.

Yeah,

Before.

I would agree.

And it was so intentional.

And it was something that I felt very blessed to be able to plan out and plan for.

And everything over the last decade has really led to that point.

You just don't see it along the way.

But yeah,

It was a very smooth,

Intentional transition to pregnancy and this phase of motherhood.

And I'm thankful for the chapters that led to that point because it was definitely not an overnight thing.

I feel like part of your life's purpose,

Kaylee,

Is to be that embodied guide for women.

Thank you.

I appreciate that.

And so back to what we talked about,

How we need more community and celebration and sacred rites of passage.

How are you manifesting that in your life?

How are you incorporating that into your life and planning for that in your transition to motherhood?

Yeah.

So I seek out routinely women's circles in my area.

And I'm fortunate that there are enough women just in this vicinity that are into similar stuff.

So we meet for different planetary and lunar events.

We've had softened circles where we're literally just coming to be feminine in a group of women.

And a lot of them are business owners,

So just needing opportunities to practice that.

And then for other women in my community that have had babies recently,

We've done Mother's Blessings for them,

Which have been a really beautiful way to celebrate that transition and provide support and wisdom.

And that's just been really impactful.

And then even professionally,

My business is virtual,

So it's great.

But we also don't ever get to see anybody in person.

But one of the things that my team and I have done recently is create a membership space for our clients and core students.

And we actually do like moon circles and book clubs.

We actually discussed this book last month in our book club,

And it was just so cup-filling,

Even though it was on Zoom,

Which is not preferred,

To just have opportunities to connect with other women and get to talk about things that you just don't get to discuss in your normal life.

I love that.

I feel like we all need a community of supportive women in our lives,

Or multiple communities of supportive women.

I wish that for every woman.

Amen.

So Kaylee,

Another reason that I've personally been really drawn to the maiden mother crone archetypes and really resonating with this is the connection to the earth in our inner cycles.

And you brought it up earlier,

But I just want to touch on it for a moment,

Because I think it's important to point out that just like we have an inner child,

We have an inner mother,

Inner maiden,

And inner crone.

And so learning about all of these energies and qualities of each help us tap into those parts of ourselves and access those parts,

And also bring awareness to which parts may be more prominent at any given time.

And then I also think it's important to point out that,

Like you mentioned,

These are not static states.

There's a lot of fluidity,

Right?

It's not like we transition to mother and stay there 24-7 and never fall back into the maiden.

And so I feel like learning about this helps us ease any shame or guilt and smooth those transitions and really help us celebrate and honor wherever we're at.

Yeah,

Absolutely,

Because that's what it's about.

We can't do this perfectly,

Because then we're falling right back into that perfectionism tendency.

So gotta let that go.

Yes,

Agreed.

And then the final thing that really,

Really resonated with me with the maiden mother crone archetypes is in the connection to nature and the earth,

Because I'm all about that,

As you know.

So I just want to share this,

Which is from Sarah Durham Wilson's book,

Maiden to Mother.

The child is the new moon,

The dawn,

And midwinter,

When the ice starts to thaw and spring seeds begin pulsing to life under the earth.

The maiden represents the morning,

Springtime,

And waxing moon,

And the flower beginning to swell in the bud.

The mother symbolizes the afternoon,

The summer solstice,

The full moon,

And the flower in bloom.

And the crone is the harvest,

The evening and the night,

The autumn and winter,

And the wilting flower returning to earth.

I love that so much.

And it's no surprise to me that that's an important aspect of this to you.

Yes,

I just feel like learning about all of this not only connects us to ourselves,

But our bodies and the earth,

All of them.

I know,

It's amazing.

And no matter where you are,

Or what time of year it is,

You can always seek inspiration from what's happening in nature.

And seeing the cyclical nature of a tree outside of your window is so cool,

Because we go through that every month with the menstrual cycle,

And then throughout our lifetime in a bigger cycle.

I think those mirrors are really cool.

Yes,

Exactly.

So Kaylee,

Bringing it to a higher level perspective to end today,

How do you think the world would be different if we actually supported women in the maiden to mother journey and had more women standing in their power and truly embodying that mother archetype and also feeling good in their bodies?

Man,

It would be totally different.

And I think it would be something interesting for anybody listening to reflect on this.

When you've been in the presence of a woman that is in that mother energy,

And maybe you didn't know it by that term,

But you were like,

Man,

She walks in here and she knows exactly who she is.

She is a presence that you're drawn to look at.

Her worth is not changed by anyone around her view.

She knows where she's headed and who she is.

Being around that is medicine.

You feel that.

And so one of the reasons why I'm so passionate about working with women specifically is that if you help a woman step into that nourished,

Grounded mother archetype,

That ripples out to everyone around her.

It gives other women permission to do the same.

It gives her daughter's direction where they might go.

It gives the men and boys in her life examples of what to be looking for too.

So even if it was just one additional woman that was stepping into that,

We would see huge ripples.

Full body chills.

I love that answer.

I want to live in that world.

Let's make it happen.

Yes.

Kaylee,

Thank you so much for being here today and sharing your energy and wisdom with us.

I'm just so grateful and I love you so much and I'm lucky to know you.

I love you too.

I'm so lucky to know you as well and thanks for having me for this conversation.

It was so fun.

So fun.

And I have one final,

Big,

Important question for you that I like to ask all my guests and I didn't get to ask you last time you were here.

What is your vision for the future of humanity and the earth?

Yeah.

My vision would be more women stepping into these powerful archetypal transitions and really knowing themselves and connected with themselves and connected with nature.

I think we've gotten so disconnected and there's a lot of benefit with modern technology,

But there's also been a lot of harm with that too.

And if we could slow things down and just be barefoot on the earth and tapped into that,

Everything would change.

So I just picture a slower,

More intentional pace and not rushing around.

So there you have it.

Maiden to Mother journey.

I encourage you to get curious about what season of life you are in right now and then use these Maiden Mother Crone archetypes to help you best support yourself.

One thing is certain.

This world needs more supported,

Nurtured,

And embodied women.

This world needs more women in their full power and presence.

No one is coming to save us or give us permission.

It's up to each of us to save ourselves and give ourselves permission.

I'll end today with a quote by Sarah Dern Wilson.

It's time for the princess to take up the sword,

Save herself,

And crown herself queen.

We have to mother up now for the sake of the whole world.

We are the good that's coming.

It is up to the mother to make what matters to her into matter.

It is up to the mother to birth the dreams of the new earth.

It is up to the mother to walk as goddess,

To bring the goddess back to earth.

The world needs its strong,

Receptive,

Open-to-life mothers.

Let's gather ourselves and answer our own cries,

For only then can we answer the cries of a hurting world.