Precepts & Anapanasati Practice 3: True Love
This talk concerns the third of the five precepts: to abstain from sensuous misconduct. We approach precept practice from an understanding of interdependence and compassion, and look at the relationship between Anapanasati practice and observing precepts.
Transcript
The Five Precepts and Anapanasati Meditation True Love Good evening,
Welcome.
Nice to see everybody.
A couple of weeks ago we began to talk about the practice of precepts in relation to Anapanasati meditation.
Remembering that Anapanasati practice is to recognize our own patterns of suffering,
To see them rise,
And as they do,
To mindfully practice non-attachment,
Remembering impermanence,
And to allow these patterns to pass.
Now we're aided in this process by living in ways which lessen the suffering we bring to others and to ourselves in the first place,
Which has brought us to the observance of precepts.
As we mentioned a couple of weeks ago,
Precepts are a somewhat different nature than the parts of the Eightfold Path.
These offer structures for right living in broad strokes,
Right action,
Right view,
Right livelihood.
Precepts,
Remember,
Speak more to specific elements of human nature.
Anger,
Greed,
Ill will,
The propensity to physical and emotional violence,
Things which are hindrances on our spiritual path,
Their defilements which cover our true basic nature,
Which obscure the expression of our Buddha nature.
And so,
As we've said,
Lay Buddhists often consider the most commonly known set of precepts the five precepts I undertake to abstain from taking life,
To abstain from taking what is not freely given,
To abstain from sensuous misconduct,
To abstain from false speech,
To abstain from intoxicants as tending to cloud the mind.
And living in this way,
In the words of Shanti Deva,
An eighth-century Indian Buddhist teacher,
We then live with the intention,
Ocean of great good that seeks to place all beings in the state of bliss and every action for the benefit of all.
Such is my delight and all my joy.
And this is important,
For the observance of precepts is not simply to aid our own awakening through right living,
But to practice in this way to help in the awakening of others.
I said before that observing precepts is to live the life of the Buddha.
Observing precepts is to live in our own Buddha nature.
But I've also said that I think this is really only true when we know that living by precepts is directly and undeniably a better way of life for ourselves and for others.
And this knowledge is born in us through the realization,
The direct experience of two important concepts of Buddhism that we've spoken of before.
Interdependence,
And you remember the analogy of Indra's net,
The idea of a fabric such as a hammock netting,
Where you see the squares there with knots at each of the corners,
If you can imagine that.
And then consider that kind of fabric just stretching throughout the cosmos,
And at each of the small knots there is a jewel.
And within each jewel is a reflection of each every other jewel,
All jewels existing within one another.
And then we take this idea of interdependence and bring it forward to an idea called dependent co-arising.
The idea that things arise when conditions cause them to arise.
When conditions are supportive,
Things come into being.
When conditions are no longer supportive,
Things go out of being.
This is because that is.
In a real sense,
We are because our planetary ecosystem is.
Right now,
I'm here because you're here.
Interdependence and dependent co-arising teaches that everything is linked at the most fundamental level.
Where no one thing can really be seen as having a separate existence,
Each thing arising in a relationship of co-origination with all other things.
What we often hear termed in Buddhism as emptiness.
And so the idea of a connection between us becomes less of an idea and more of a felt sense,
A lived reality.
And this calls us into compassion toward others,
Into a life of right action,
Assured by the practice of precepts.
Assuring that in our thoughts,
Our words and deeds we strive to prevent the suffering of others and in so doing,
Lessen our own suffering.
The practice of precepts is a commitment to observe consciously chosen patterns of action.
Now the precepts are often listed in simple phrases.
The first being to abstain from taking life.
For our discussions though,
We've been using the precepts of the order of interbeing as put forward by Thich Nhat Hanh.
As we said a week or so ago,
Thich Nhat Hanh expands the wording of these precepts and extends them into all areas of our life.
The situations that we face,
The interactions we have with others.
So in his writing he's taken the simply stated precept abstain from taking life and expanded it into reverence for life.
And it reads,
Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life,
I'm committed to cultivating compassion and to learning the ways to protect the lives of people,
Animals,
Plants and minerals.
I'm determined not to kill,
Not to let others kill and not to support any act of killing in the world,
In my thinking or in my way of life.
Seeing that harmful actions arise from anger,
Fear,
Greed and intolerance,
I will cultivate openness,
Non-discrimination and non-attachment to views in order to transform violence,
Fanaticism and dogmatism in myself and in the world.
The second precept,
To abstain from taking what is not freely given,
Thich Nhat Hanh expands and titles true happiness.
Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation,
Social injustice,
Stealing and oppression,
I'm committed to practicing generosity in my thinking,
Speaking and acting.
I'm determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others and I will share my time,
Energy and material resources with those who are in need.
I will practice looking deeply to see that the happiness and suffering of others are not separate from my own happiness and suffering.
That true happiness is not possible without understanding and compassion and that running after wealth,
Fame,
Power and sensual pleasures can bring much suffering and despair.
I am aware that happiness depends on my own mental attitude and not on external conditions and that I can live happily in the present moment simply by remembering that I already have more than enough conditions to be happy.
I'm committed to practicing right livelihood so that I can help reduce the suffering of living beings on earth.
Which brings us to the third of the five precepts,
To abstain from sensuous misconduct.
Thich Nhat Hanh titles this precept true love.
I am aware of the suffering caused by sexual misconduct.
I'm committed to cultivating responsibility and learning ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals,
Couples,
Families and society.
Knowing that sexual desire is not love and that sexual activity motivated by craving can harm myself as well as others.
I am determined not to engage in sexual relations without true love and a deep long-term commitment made known to my family and friends.
I will do everything in my power to protect children from sexual abuse and to prevent couples and families from being broken by sexual misconduct.
Seeing that my body and mind are one,
I am committed to learning appropriate ways to take care of my sexual energy and to cultivate loving kindness,
Compassion,
Joy and inclusiveness which are the four basic elements of true love for my greater happiness and the greater happiness of others.
Practicing true love,
We know that we will continue beautifully into the future.
Learning how to practice true love.
And what is true love?
How does Thich Nhat Hanh define this?
Well,
Very near to the beginning of this precept,
The text reads that he defines true love as cultivating responsibility to protect the safety and integrity of individuals,
Couples,
Families and society.
Now this is not necessarily about romantic love.
What it is about is how we approach others in relationship,
Intimate or otherwise.
Thich Nhat Hanh teaches true love is not the feeling you have when you think you can't be without another person.
Feeling like your own being,
The worthiness of your life is based in the acceptance and the presence of someone else.
Instead,
He says this third precept,
True love,
Reminds us that to love is to see people from a place of understanding and compassion for who they are and not just a place of our own needs.
And this is unavoidable when we consider the interdependent connection that we all share.
If our joy and suffering is bound up with the joy and suffering of others,
Then we can't exclude another person from our own happiness and suffering.
The safety and integrity of the other person is our own safety and integrity.
The body and mind of our loved one is a sacred space,
Thich Nhat Hanh teaches us,
That needs to be respected.
Only then can there be true love.
And I would postulate that the real challenge of precept practice is to view all beings as loved ones.
Very hard today,
But in observing precepts,
In abstaining from taking life,
From taking what is not freely given,
From sensuous misconduct,
From false speech,
In abstaining from intoxicants,
Our practice can't just be for some,
It can't be just for those we choose,
For those we feel are worth it or deserving.
It has to be everyone,
Or it's not genuine precept practice.
And so we need tools,
Which brings us to the four brahma-viharas,
Or the four immeasurable minds.
Loving kindness,
Compassion,
Shared joy,
And equanimity.
Let's begin with loving kindness.
Maitri,
The Pali word which we translate as loving kindness,
Has the same meaning as the Sanskrit root for the word friend.
Love at its most basic level is deep friendship.
To be a friend means to offer kindness to someone else.
The author B.
Allen Wallace tells us,
Of course,
That this needs to begin with the self.
The root of our yearning for happiness,
To be free of suffering,
Is a fundamental expression of our own Buddha nature.
We turn ourselves away from the ways that we stray from happiness and come back to our wish to be happy.
And when we do,
We find that the very source of our yearning for happiness is our Buddha nature wanting to realize itself,
To express itself in kindness.
Compassion,
The word we often hear is karuna.
But compassion is perhaps not the best translation for that Pali word.
The word compassion,
The prefix com,
Com,
Means together and passion means to suffer.
Therefore,
To be compassionate literally means to suffer together with another person.
But the Pali word karuna really is more the capacity to relieve suffering,
Whether it's suffering in yourself or in another.
Karuna teaches us that we have that capacity and we can find it through the practice of mindful breathing and looking deeply into our own suffering,
Understanding its nature and its causes.
Thich Nhat Hanh tells us compassion is born from understanding.
When you feel compassion for yourself through self-understanding,
You can understand and feel compassion for others and help to ease their suffering.
B.
Allen Wallace writes,
Just as loving kindness is the heart that longs for the well-being of oneself and others,
The nature of compassion is simply the heartfelt wish that all beings may be free of suffering and the sources of suffering.
Compassion is complementary to loving kindness.
They fit together like the yin and yang symbol.
Shared joy,
Sometimes referred to as sympathetic joy,
Is a sharing of the joy of others.
In our Anapanasati contemplations,
We find contentment,
Joy,
A gladdening of the mind,
And we can bring this joy and happiness to others by being glad for their own well-being,
Sharing in their life with joy.
Now,
To do this,
We may need to release our attachments to ideas about the way things should be,
The way someone else should be,
Stories we keep telling ourselves,
Habitual ways of thinking.
And when we do this,
We're able to see others with fresh eyes,
With clear eyes,
And we reach out with a desire to share in what we see.
And then finally,
Equanimity or inclusiveness.
The Pali term is Upeka,
And it's often translated as equanimity.
Thich Nhat Hanh uses the word inclusiveness,
And Allen Wallace uses impartiality.
Either way,
The thought is that in true love,
You don't exclude anyone.
There's no longer any discrimination between others or between self and other.
Happiness is no longer a matter of individuality,
Nor is suffering.
In light of dependent co-origination,
You and another person are the same person.
Their suffering is your own suffering,
Their happiness your own happiness.
Thich Nhat Hanh writes,
True love is like the shining sun.
The sun is sufficient in itself.
It offers light to everyone.
It doesn't say I only want to offer light to this one person.
It doesn't exclude anyone.
The practice of equanimity teaches us to integrate all of these practices,
Loving kindness,
Compassion,
And shared joy.
We practice equanimity to develop an even sense regarding everyone.
This really is indispensable if we want to open the heart completely and to offer loving kindness,
Compassion,
And joy from a place of real and balanced engagement.
Alright,
Why don't we sit,
Find your comfortable meditation posture,
Take a few deep breaths.
