Sacred Self-Acceptance

There is a psychological process of self-acceptance, and there is a sacred process of spiritual self-acceptance. The sacred self-acceptance can be a profound base for a true spiritual transformation. In this Satsang that was given in Berlin on May 2020, spiritual teacher Shai Tubali, explains how self-acceptance can take us beyond the self.

Transcript

I am truly happy to be with you this evening.

Welcome and thank you for being here.

Luckily,

There is one thing that the realm of the virtual world and the realm of the spirit share and that is their non-local ability,

Their ability to reach everywhere,

To surpass limits of space.

So when I say I'm happy that you are here it is because we really are here together.

It is always important to be reminded when we enter a satsang that satsang is simply a way of being together.

This doesn't mean that there is not going to be a talk.

I guess that I'm quite talkative so then the space will be filled with words and with perhaps even intriguing ideas.

But it is important that unlike a seminar,

Unlike a school,

Unlike a course,

In satsang it is not about a process of teaching and learning.

It is the way we are being together that really matters.

Before we are going to start discussing,

Start talking,

Let's have a meditation.

Let's have a guided meditation and as always with the guided meditation that is the starting of any event,

It already contains all the seeds,

Seed ideas,

All the seed principles of everything that we are going to share later on.

But first we need to feel it in our hearts,

To feel it in our body,

To feel it in our being.

That is why guided meditation always comes first.

So for this meditation let's sit comfortably,

Take one deep breath to signify that we are derving into the world of meditation.

Now we can breathe slowly and deeply,

Letting our body relax more and more with every breath we take.

And since our meditation today anyway centers on the breathing process you can continue with this natural form of breathing that perhaps is slowed down because of the relaxation and just focus on the breathing process,

The in-breath and the out-breath.

Gently rest your attention on the air that enters and leaves the nostrils.

The in-breath it flows in,

Feeling the lungs enriching the body and it is expelled just to prepare for a next flow of air into your lungs and body.

So make sure that you gently rest your attention on this process.

Not trying to do anything,

Not trying to manipulate the breathing,

Not trying to forcefully breathe less or breathe more clearly.

On the contrary become more and more aware of how much this process takes place by itself.

How much there is no you doing this process and what a relief it is isn't it to realize that there is a process that you don't need to take care of,

You don't need to think about,

You don't need to concentrate or plan or worry about.

So realize that you are not doing this process at all.

Certainly you are not deciding to breathe with every in-breath and with every out-breath.

That would be extremely exhausting.

Breathing is just like digesting.

It is an automatic unconscious process.

But breathing is even more basic than digesting.

It is the activity that keeps you alive.

And this one activity that keeps you alive is something that has nothing to do with you.

Now realize that if it is not you,

This means that you are not the one deciding to live.

There is something else that with every in-breath literally brings you into existence.

Something fills your nostrils with air,

Something fills your lungs with air.

Something else is breathing you into existence.

Feel this total dependence.

And don't resist it.

On the contrary,

Rest in it.

Think something else decides to keep me alive at this moment.

I am letting go.

Now start connecting with the greater presence that is breathing you into existence.

What is this presence that is breathing you with every in-breath,

With every out-breath?

Feel this presence.

Perhaps you imagine it as if it were behind your back,

Steadying or surrounding you.

Now try to look back and ask what is breathing me into existence?

Who and what is it?

Don't give it a name.

Feel it.

Contact it.

Feel how you are going all the way to the root of your breathing,

The place from which your very breathing takes place.

To find this tremendous being,

Unknown.

Now perhaps you can even take one last step.

You can slowly shift your identity from the one who is being breathed to the one that is the breather behind the body,

Behind the mind,

The source of your breathing.

Move into it,

Fall into it,

And perhaps for a moment even become one with it.

And this possibility of resting in the source of breathing while watching from behind the process,

How the breathing process takes place by itself.

Now you can slowly,

Slowly and gently let yourself come out of the meditation.

And don't worry if you are still somewhere deep inside instead of being able to return to your ordinary personality because this is after all a satsang.

This is our permission to be stripped,

Stripped of our personality clothes,

Our disguise,

Social disguise.

And I think that this kind of meditation is going to reappear at least as its essential teaching throughout the talk.

We will have some talk now and after the talk you will be able to,

You will be heartily invited to ask questions related or unrelated.

And what we are going to talk about today in this satsang is self-acceptance.

And it is possible that you raise one brow and think what has self-acceptance got to do with satsang.

And to a certain degree you may be right if you think of the ordinary type of self-acceptance that we usually consider when we,

When the very idea of self-acceptance comes up to mind.

What is important to understand already at the beginning is that there are basically two types of self-acceptance.

The one is the psychological self-acceptance and the other one is the spiritual self-acceptance.

And the spiritual self-acceptance I also call sacred self-acceptance.

This type of sacred self-acceptance is what we are going to to explore,

To perhaps even to experience this evening together.

Now psychological or what we can also call ordinary self-acceptance is simply our struggle to feel good about ourselves.

Our struggle to feel comfortable with ourselves.

There is a sort of a psychological discomfort not finding ourselves as the home that we were hoping to a place to relax in because there is a sort of self-rejection,

There is a self-condemnation,

The thinking that we could be something else or someone else.

When even if we do manage to somehow accept ourselves at this level,

This doesn't lead to a deep transformation.

The thing is that ordinary or psychological self-acceptance happens within the boundaries of ego consciousness.

It takes place at the level of the ego.

It's an acceptance that I generate through my own feelings,

Through my own emotions,

Right?

I'm perhaps embracing myself with myself,

With my thoughts,

With my emotions,

With my heart.

I embrace a different way of looking at myself.

So you can see it's something that I do with myself.

On the other hand,

Sacred self-acceptance can be a foundation for spiritual transformation.

It can be the starting point of a deep transformation.

It can be the basis for our most authentic spirituality.

And as such,

It can be an actual gateway through which we can find God or cosmic wholeness or the state of unity.

We need to understand that sacred self-acceptance is a powerful spiritual experience and not some psychological process.

Not again,

Not that we should belittle the importance of psychological or ordinary self-acceptance.

It's just that this is a satsang and here we think of things in the broadest,

Most transformative context imaginable.

Now it's a great revolution when we understand that self-acceptance is a spiritual act or can be a spiritual act.

Sometimes we separate our psychological process from our spiritual process,

Right?

Here we have spirituality or meditation and here we have therapy.

The two perhaps sometimes meet but still they are in a way different,

Different processes.

But this is only because we don't go deeply enough with our self-acceptance.

The whole question is do we go all the way with self-acceptance,

With what it means,

With what it could mean?

When we truly understand what that means we realize that in a way everything you need to understand about life,

About the cosmos is hidden in this simple secret.

You know I also thought in the past that self-acceptance is some little psychological problem that you just need to get rid of.

It actually took me years to realize that the reason that this problem disturbs so many people is probably meaningful and that was when I've come to realize that there is such a thing like sacred self-acceptance.

So our only problem is that we don't look deeply enough.

We don't go deeply enough with this issue.

So let's do it.

Let's try to enter this secret now and find out how self-acceptance can actually take us beyond the self.

And of course this is a bit tricky what I just said because the first thing we must understand is that sacred self-acceptance is a path that doesn't require what sometimes teachers speak of as ego dissolution or ego death,

Killing the ego or whatever.

There is some danger in ego death in speaking in these kind of terms because ego death can sometimes invite the very opposite of self-acceptance,

Right?

Self-condemnation it just makes me feel that the self is something horrible that needs to be discarded,

Eliminated so it can enhance my already existing self-hatred.

This is not what we are hoping to achieve.

Here we actually speak of something else,

Not the death of the ego but ego assimilation.

Do you understand the difference?

Ego assimilation means that the ego becomes a part of the greater whole.

It actually relaxes into wholeness.

It realizes that it is not really separate,

It is a part.

It doesn't need to die,

It just needs to be a part of the greater whole.

And now this leads us to the second thing and the second thing is that sacred self-acceptance comes from the understanding of true surrender,

Surrender to the divine will.

I will say it again so we can we can feel it that it is all about true surrender.

And I'm wondering what you what you're thinking or feeling when you're hearing the word surrender or the divine will.

What that means?

Because self-acceptance in its sacred form is actually a path of spiritual surrender.

It is the beginning of surrender to accept yourself.

Now what does that mean?

First of all the idea of surrender to the divine will can be quite confusing obviously.

There are two misconceptions about surrender that I will mention throughout this talk.

The first one is obviously how do I want,

How do I know what the cosmos or the divine or whatever wants from me?

What am I meant to have some special revelation like in the Old Testament Moses in front of the burning bush being spoken to,

Hearing some kind of divine voice telling him exactly what he should do.

Is this the meaning of surrender to the divine will?

Not at all.

And this is an important insight.

If I know want to know what the divine will is all I need is to simply look at myself.

I am a manifestation of the divine will and I hope that you understand I speak for you right now.

It's not some some kind of arrogant claim.

I am as you.

I am a manifestation of the divine will as I am.

Exactly as I am.

Exactly as I am.

With the passions that I have right now.

With the desires.

With the attractions that I have right now.

With the fears.

With the Constitution that is perhaps an anxious Constitution or a fiery Constitution or even a tired or weak Constitution.

It doesn't matter what it is.

This is what the universe wants me to be and do.

We don't need to speculate what the universe wants me to be,

Wants us to be or do since it already planted in us the precise passions,

Desires,

Attractions,

Tendencies that it wants us to experience and to express.

It is not a philosophical question.

We were designed by the cosmos to be the way we are.

It is a natural program just like this beautiful flower next to me.

Trees,

Giraffes,

Zebras,

Clouds,

Lizards,

Crocodiles and black holes.

Everything is designed in a certain natural pattern.

And natural means also divine.

A cosmic expression of cosmic will.

So not liking myself means actually resisting the divine plan.

Resisting the plan.

This is what I'm basically saying.

I don't accept this divine program.

Of course I accept it in giraffes.

Of course I accept it in zebras.

Of course I accept it in black holes in this flower that can never become a crocodile.

It can only be a flower.

This is its beauty but this is also the source of its limitation,

Right?

It can only be a flower.

What can it do?

It doesn't even have legs.

So everything seems to be in place except for us.

And this is where our resistance to the divine will,

The divine plan is evident.

And accepting myself in this sense is a path of completeness.

It means that I'm agreeing to recognize that I'm a part of divine wholeness,

Of the divine world,

Of the divine plan.

And again I mention all the time,

As I am.

You please understand you cannot be the one mistake that was made in the divine plan.

This is basically what we say when we don't accept ourselves.

Of course perhaps we also don't accept others because,

And this is probably what I'm going to discuss a lot during the weekend there,

That it also starts with not accepting myself.

That I cannot accept others design or others natural program.

But I can definitely accept it in flowers,

In black holes,

In trees,

In zebras,

In crocodiles.

I know that in a way they have no choice.

What can a crocodile do,

Right?

Can it do something?

Can a crocodile become vegan,

For instance?

Can it start developing philosophical thoughts?

Well it's been quite,

I think for millions of years,

Right?

Or here on this planet it's not going to,

It's not going to do that.

It's just a crocodile.

So that,

That we can accept.

That crocodiles are crocodiles,

Trees are trees and then what about me?

And me is me.

Can I say that?

Can I really let go into that?

Can I realize that it's not possible that I am the only one that was born in the wrong day,

On the wrong day in heaven.

That I wasn't some kind of a malfunction in the,

In the,

In the factory.

That one pattern got defected,

Specifically defected.

One angel got it wrong.

A bad day in heaven.

It's like saying that there are bad days in heaven.

That nothing is in place.

That everything is a mistake.

Perhaps we say that in a moment of depression but is this what we really feel when we look at flowers,

Clouds,

Rainbows,

Trees,

Butterflies.

So this is what we need to understand.

You cannot fix something that hasn't,

That is not broken.

You see,

This is what we're trying to do with our resistance.

This program,

This natural program was given to you by the cosmos.

And you would agree surely that the cosmos is the,

Is the greatest genius we could ever find,

Right?

Comparing,

Compare the,

The,

What the cosmos creates to,

To what,

I don't know,

Physicists,

What doctors can do.

This is,

Perhaps we can build buildings but can we create the universe?

Can we even reach the,

The,

The exact genius that,

That,

That,

That creates complexities behind,

Far beyond the comprehension of our thought?

Of course we cannot.

So this genius made you with so much love,

So much attention,

So much love of details,

Putting one element next to another.

Yes,

Also what we call our limitations,

Also what we call the things that are our shortcomings,

Our so-called problems.

So the program was given to you by the cosmos and therefore it is incomparable.

You cannot compare it to anything else.

It,

It,

It is always unique because it always create a,

Consist of a combination of,

Of,

Of elements that will never repeat itself.

Not in this way.

There's always some changes,

Some innovation,

Some different combination.

And second it is self justified.

Self justified it means it doesn't need to justify its existence.

It was granted the justification by the universe itself.

The universe itself said yes.

So not accepting ourselves basically means not accepting the universe.

Which also means of course that,

That accepting ourselves is accepting the universe as a whole.

There is a reason that,

That universe designed you the way it did.

Everything is in place.

And if you asked,

You came to the universe,

You were able to,

To come to the secret chamber,

The inner sanctum and,

And ask cosmos or God whatever you're belief in or of the whatever way you call the,

This one,

One entity.

Why did you made me,

What in,

In,

In this way and what do you need me to be?

The universe would answer,

I don't need to tell you what I need you to be because I show you.

I need you to be yourself.

This is what I need from you.

Can you do that for me?

Can you be that the full experience of yourself?

So as far as the divine will is concerned we are in the right place,

Right now.

The right body,

The right limitations and even the right obstacles.

Surrendering,

True surrender means that this is something that I recognize with my heart,

With my mind,

With my deepest being.

This includes,

I said obstacles,

This includes our weaknesses,

Our difficulties because the weaknesses and the difficulties they balance the divine forces in us.

They balance all,

All the goodness in us and they are actually necessary to create friction for growth.

If we,

If we don't have weaknesses,

If we don't have limitations,

How can we grow?

We grow through friction.

Friction is healthy.

So you must have them.

You must be also limited.

The program is not meant to be perfect.

The only entity that thinks in terms of perfection is the mind.

The mind always aspires to some kind of perfection.

That's why it cultivates this dream.

One day when I will become this and that I will be worthy of,

I will be worthy,

I will be deserving divine recognition,

I will finally be loved,

I will finally be the right person.

What,

I think there is this very famous sentence that says don't let the person that you are right now interfere with the person that you are meant to be.

Yes,

And that's exactly the source of illusion.

We need to drop the concept of perfection and the concept of waiting for one day as a condition of self-acceptance.

You need to understand the difference between perfect and whole.

Perfect is something that has no limitations,

That has no faults,

No disadvantages,

No imbalances.

Do you know something like that in the universe?

I don't.

Whole,

On the other hand,

Means the harmony that contains all the elements,

Which means the perfections and the imperfections.

That's wholeness.

Wholeness is a full picture.

And in the perception of wholeness we understand that the bad,

The so-called bad in us and the so-called good in us are just one self that is a gift from the cosmos.

What can perceive this wholeness is the heart.

The heart is connected to the divine plane,

To the sense of wholeness,

This sense of complete logic,

Of complete sensibility.

Because the heart is whole it can also see this wholeness.

You can never see it through the mind because again the mind is only looking for perfection and the thing is that even creation itself is not perfect,

You see,

Which actually means not nice to say that God is not perfect if you think in this way.

If you judge God according to its creation you can say yes well there are many many things to improve but it's not about improvement it's about whether the creation is whole and creation is whole.

It can only actually be understood and perceived as a totality.

Yes you can look at one piece of creation,

One fragment and see find the wholeness.

The drop contains the entire ocean but it is still the totality that is the only thing that can explain the fragment.

So this is the second misconception about surrender.

You remember we talked about two misconceptions.

One is that I need to somehow receive knowledge of the divine will to be told perhaps by some channeler.

Could you please tell me what I am meant to be or what I'm meant to do?

The second misconception is that surrender,

The very same word surrender sounds like at least in the world of the mind as becoming good and worthy in the eyes of God.

You see if you do surrender this means that if you do this and that,

If you give yourself,

If you are a good servant then if you are fully devoted then that makes you good in the eyes of God.

But true surrender is nothing to do with that.

True surrender is accepting yourself as you are,

Exactly as you are right now.

So when you go into it very deeply and please try to do it now not tomorrow as we speak,

When you go into it very deeply you realize that self-acceptance is a spiritual experience that opens the path to cosmic wholeness.

Why?

Because our internal wholeness leads to the greater wholeness.

When there is a surrender,

When there is self-acceptance,

Everything falls into place,

Everything becomes included,

Not only you because you stop excluding yourself.

You see you are the missing piece in the puzzle of creation.

Everything is just waiting for you.

When you agree,

When you say yes I'm a part of this cosmic puzzle just as I am,

Nothing is waiting for me.

So you place yourself inside,

Inside creation and at that moment when you fall into place everything else falls into place and you and you realize that everything makes sense,

That everything is in its right place and everything has always been in its right place.

You realize yourself as a particle of the universal being,

Completely,

Completely inseparable from the ocean.

What is beautiful by the way is that this understanding also leads eventually to spiritual self-confidence and again I say spiritual self-confidence not ordinary self-confidence or psychological self-confidence because what happens is that we're beginning to walk the path that has been designed by our very own program and we trust it.

We know that it's that it makes perfect sense.

It tells us exactly what to do because we have,

We can we look inside and we find these are our passions,

Our desires,

Our inclinations,

Our tendencies.

What we cannot do it,

What we can do.

Look no further.

That's that makes you self-knowing,

Self-trusting.

The doubt comes from the comparison.

Now there is one last thing that we need to understand.

That ultimately there is no difference between what spiritual teachers may say that the self doesn't exist,

The I doesn't exist and self-acceptance.

This can sound very confusing because it sounds like two opposites,

Right?

Self-acceptance means that there is a deep sense of self and then there is this no self.

But in reality you don't need to choose and we need to understand that and then we'll move to your questions.

If you accept yourself in a spiritual way,

We said at the beginning,

If you accept yourself in a spiritual way this leads you to a reality beyond the self.

How?

What is exactly this strange leap?

Now for this I will try to explain through simple reality.

You know there is the theory of evolution that by now we know very clearly that is not really a theory.

It's simply description of reality.

So there is evolution and in this description of evolution we hear that species develop all kinds of strange shocking abilities,

Right?

They can do magnificent things to adapt,

To reproduce.

Even this innocent flower,

Innocent looking flower,

Develops this particular unbelievable shape in order to be attractive to insects.

So this is,

And we look at it and evolution is amazing because you understand,

You know there is one tiny jellyfish in the depth of the ocean that has the ability to return after it reaches adulthood.

It is able to bring itself back to the state when it was in its pre-sexual state,

Which means that it becomes a baby again.

Could you understand that?

I mean it's a jellyfish and the jellyfish never dies because it can always return to the state of babyhood.

Then it grows again then it returns to the state of babyhood,

Which means that it's eternal.

Now but but notice how I'm saying that that that the jellyfish does that,

Right?

Or that here the orchid,

What it does is it develops this particular shape in order to be attractive.

So all these colors and all these concealment capacities,

Creatures that grow legs and repair their organs,

Everything it seems to be possible.

So do they really make it all by themselves?

Can this orchid know what it does?

Does it have the intelligence,

The knowledge how to develop this?

Does this tiny jellyfish which I don't think has anything that has to do with consciousness is capable without any capacity to direct itself,

Any capacity to understand what it's doing?

Can it have anything to do with these capacities?

Of course the answer is no.

Just like,

Do you remember at the beginning of the satsang,

You were realizing that we are not even breathing by ourselves.

We don't know how to breathe,

We don't know how to jet digest,

We don't know how to be born and we don't know how to die in the sense unless of course we take our lives by our own hands but generally we don't know how to be born or to die and in the middle we don't know how to breathe.

So if a flower doesn't know because it doesn't have really self-existence,

An independent existence,

It doesn't exist as a separate entity,

What about us?

Did Einstein make himself a genius in physics?

Did he or did he find himself with this capacity and with the passion to fulfill this capacity?

I think the answer is clear,

Right?

No one can make himself or herself an Einstein even if we really wanted to and Einstein also didn't make himself an Einstein.

It wasn't his choice and actually by the way just an anecdote that Einstein himself believed in determinism which means that there is absolutely no choice.

So just like lizards,

Just like orchids,

Just like any kind of flower,

Any kind of jellyfish,

We also don't have the ability to create our own skills,

Our own capacities,

Our own tendencies,

Our own characteristics.

They simply exist within us,

We find them inside us,

We find something imprinted,

Something inherent,

Something planted by the cosmos in us such as love of singing or love of dance or the ability to write or the ability to paint or passion for spirituality.

We do none of that.

So in the same way that all these species have absolutely,

That have no self-consciousness and no directing capacity,

We also don't have this type of independent existence.

We don't do.

All the creating and directing intelligence belongs to just one and that is the source of life.

So the source of life is the great doer,

You see.

The source of life makes jellyfish return to babyhood.

The source of life makes orchids develop extraordinary shapes.

The source of life makes you,

You and plants the capacities that it wants you to experience,

The tendencies that it wants you to feel and to follow.

We are not doers.

That's basically the greatest illusion there is.

We don't even do our breathing.

We are not the doers of the process of life.

Now the thing is that the illusion of the separate self is that it is a doing entity that leads the body and the mind.

This is what doesn't exist.

This doer doesn't exist.

We are not generating the process.

We are actually the result of the process,

The result of this intelligence.

Einstein is just a result.

He is like a flower.

He has no choice.

He just has to develop his physics.

Now when this is understood deeply,

There is a tremendous relaxation,

Tremendous and a tremendous of,

In the sense of a tremendous connection to the source of life and to the love that emanates from it.

Yes,

We have no independent will.

That's the greatest joy.

We don't direct the process.

We don't know how to direct the process.

And what our thoughts do all day long is that they imagine that they direct the process and that's why they become neurotic.

They keep thinking that they can change.

That's why we have a crazy mind,

The illusion of doership.

Now I know it is confusing because it seems,

You know,

We possess self-consciousness.

So with this self-consciousness we are aware.

We're not like orchids and rainbows.

And with this awareness it seems as if we are the doers.

That's the major confusion.

We can say that the ego is the part that takes responsibility for something it can never do.

That's a good definition of the ego.

So we have this illusion of doership only because we have self-consciousness.

So but this mustn't confuse us.

The fact that you are aware is not enough to give you the power to direct yourself.

It just means that you are aware and that you are,

For example,

Aware of your gifts and capacities.

But you don't create them.

You don't make them happen.

You don't know how to make them.

Yes,

This means I'm already preparing for your,

Myself for your questions.

Yes,

This means that in the deepest sense we don't have the ability to change who we are.

And it also means that in the deepest sense we don't have the ability to change those around us.

Although we do imagine and we do try all the time to change them and that's exactly our misery.

This effort to change me and and the others around me.

Because I imagine that we can do it.

There is a sentence that that both cosmologists,

Physicists,

Philosophers and spiritual teachers say Carl Sagan,

The cosmologist says that,

Eckhart Tolle says that,

The philosopher Ellen Watts said that,

That something else is experiencing us.

That we are a way for the universe to experience itself,

A way for the universe to know itself.

Well,

Perhaps this is a little answer to the question that we asked at the beginning.

Who is breathing us,

Right?

Into existence.

What is it?

So something else is experiencing us.

We are the experience of something else.

And when you understand that,

There is deep relaxation,

Deep allowance,

But also the highest form of self-acceptance and acceptance of others.

Again,

Everything falls into place.

So in this sense,

There is absolutely no difference between self-acceptance and no self.

No self,

What does it mean no self?

It just means that we don't have independent existence.

This is that we don't exist as independent beings.

We are completely dependent on something else.

And having no independent existence means that you realize that the source creates you in its grace.

That you don't have a choice.

That you don't have much ability to change,

At least not in the way you imagine.

And that your natural pattern is whole and ultimately perfect.

Perfect in the sense that it is whole.

Reviews

fabulous talk!! saving to listen to a few more times 🦋💙💜🩵🦄🦋💙💜🩵🦄🦋💙💜🩵🦄🦋💙💜

I am exactly what The Divine Cosmos wants me to be right now.

It touched me deeply.

Truth

Thank you. I needed that satsang. I needed to clarify that I don’t need to - can’t - change my nature. I am as G’d created me. I can accept that and be at peace. I can let go of “perfection” and embrace the tension. I am allowing the Universe to experience life through me, and that is very relaxing.

Profound. Deeply resonant with truth. Cleansing. Thank you.

So profoundly and clearly let's you really know that there is nothing about ourselves to resist, only accept....and that underlies pur relationship with everyone and everything.

One of the best talks I’ve ever heard. Thank you