Day six,
Unconditional love for others.
Welcome back.
In the last session,
We explored the concept of unconditional love towards ourselves in Toltec teachings.
We understood how loving ourselves without conditions is crucial in maintaining our authenticity and self-worth,
And how it helps combat the negative influences of attachments and domestication.
Today's objective is to extend the concept of unconditional love to others.
You will learn why loving others unconditionally is not just morally significant,
But also beneficial for our personal well-being and how it helps us maintain control over our happiness.
The theory for this section states that extending unconditional love to others helps us achieve personal freedom.
Toltec wisdom emphasizes the importance of unconditional love not only for oneself,
But also for others as well.
And this perspective is promoted not simply by a moral standpoint,
But because loving others unconditionally benefits you personally.
When you depend on others to act or speak in certain ways for your happiness,
You're attaching your well-being to the behaviors,
To their behaviors,
And over which you have no control.
If they don't meet your expectations,
It can disturb your peace of mind.
And in this way,
You're essentially relinquishing control over your happiness to external factors.
And moreover,
Loving others only when they conform to your views is conditional love.
It's contradictory to expect unconditional love from others while you're doing the same.
And conditional love,
By its nature,
Attempts to control that aspect of others,
Imposing your will so they align with your expectations.
And if they don't,
They face the penalty of your judgment.
Remember,
Every time you judge someone,
You're essentially punishing them for not following agreements they never consented to.
Often,
In relationships,
What seems like a fight for personal freedom is actually a struggle over who controls whom.
Negative emotions like anger or indignation due to someone's behavior create a negative narrative of villains and victims trapping you in this drama.
Viewing others as villains and yourself as a victim,
Whether you are aware of it or not,
Prevents you from seeing the real person before you.
You overlook their story and their experiences and the hardships that have shaped them,
And you're seeing them through the fog of your domestication,
Focusing only on how they might or they don't meet your standards.
But when you look at someone with unconditional love,
You see the true person,
A being navigating a world full of domestication and conditional love.
And this viewpoint allows you to disagree with their choices or beliefs,
But still respect their right to have them.
And mastering unconditional love involves recognizing and letting go of the judgments that stem from your domestication.
And once you've done this,
You can understand and forgive others when they act from their conditioning.
The person in front of you is also a product of domestication,
Seeking to pass that on,
But they can only influence you if you allow it.
Family often presents a unique challenge in practicing unconditional love because domestication runs deepest here.
The wounds inflicted by family can be the most painful and the most powerful,
Yet it's your love for them,
Your family,
That paves the way for forgiveness and for healing.
After learning about attachment and domestication,
A lot of people start doing what people do,
Judging others in the light of their newfound knowledge.
Don't be like that person,
Someone who becomes religious and so he or she preaches and judges others all day in that way.
In such behavior,
He or she moves farther away from the benefits of this newfound knowledge.
For instance,
You will sometimes hear comments,
In Toltec circles anyway,
Saying that that person isn't a good fill-in-the-blank or she isn't impeccable with her word.
In that way,
You can see how the tools of enlightenment can be turned into sources of domestication and attachment.
And so,
Please,
After listening,
Try this.
Don't try to think of your family and friends as enemies trying to domesticate you.
Enemies is perhaps a strong word.
Don't use this knowledge as a source of resentment and judgment.
Love others unconditionally and you will be happier for it.
And I challenge you to test this statement for yourself.
Here's the practice.
A forgiveness exercise.
Create a list of people from your past whom you haven't forgotten,
Including family or friends or co-workers or others,
And reflect briefly on each incident.
Then read aloud,
I,
When your name,
Am ready to forgive everyone who caused me pain and suffering in the past.
I choose to forgive them so their past actions don't affect my present.
I wish to view them with unconditional love and forgive myself for my part in these events,
Acknowledging I did my best at the time.
I hope for love and peace for these individuals and myself moving forward.
That's definitely a mouthful,
But it's worth capturing that information.
Following this,
Crumple up and throw away the paper.
And yes,
I said paper.
Use a pencil and paper.
And as you crumple it up,
Visualize discarding negative feelings as you throw the pieces away.
Repeat this forgiveness statement when past events resurface.
For someone particularly hard to forgive,
Try reciting this,
I pray that so-and-so receives unconditional love,
Peace and happiness.
That's it.
Try this for two weeks every day.
Even if it feels insincere initially,
Do it anyway.
Forgiveness is for your peace.
And remember that it's not a condemnation of the past.
And it helps you focus on self-responsibility,
Which we all must pay attention to.
And this is a step towards ongoing forgiveness and ongoing emotional freedom.
There's no downside.
So let's sum this up plainly.
Loving others unconditionally means accepting them without imposing our expectations or our judgments.
And this approach not only fosters healthier relationships,
But also ensures our happiness and peace are not contingent on the behaviors of others.
What do you think?
In what ways have conditional expectations affected your relationships?
And how can practicing unconditional love towards others change the dynamics of these relationships?
What are the challenges you might face in loving others unconditionally?
And how can you overcome them?
How to self-baseline to measure for success?
Track situations where you consciously choose to respond with understanding or empathy towards others,
Especially in moments of disagreement or moments of conflict.
Weekly,
Assess the frequency of these compassionate responses compared to previous weeks,
Which can significantly show growth in extending unconditional love to others.
Congratulations,
We've reached the end of this session.
And in the next session,
We will learn how that we can disrupt automatic reactions or responses,
A legacy of our domestication and our attachments.
Remember,
The more that you practice these techniques,
The faster and easier they will work for you.
Thanks again for allowing me to serve you.
And as always,
Remember,
It's a great day to be alive.
And I'll see you in the next session.
Good luck,
And bye for now.
