Day two,
Domestication.
Welcome back.
In the last session,
We delved into how our internal conditioning and societal standards create a distorted self-perception akin to looking into a smoky mirror.
We learned about the importance of recognizing and challenging these distorted self-images to find true happiness and freedom from anxiety.
Today's objective is to explore the concept of domestication in Toltec teachings.
We will understand how our upbringing and societal norms have shaped our beliefs and behaviors and how this process can limit our personal freedom.
The theory for this section states that from a young age,
We are domesticated by society,
Learning to adapt our beliefs and behaviors according to societal norms and expectations,
Often at the expense of our true selves.
Domestication refers to how we,
As individuals,
Are shaped by the beliefs and norms of the society that we grow up in.
It's like how animals are domesticated,
A little bit.
They learn how to behave in ways that are acceptable to their human caretakers.
In kind of the same way,
From a young age,
We are taught by our families,
Our schools,
And communities about what is right and what is wrong,
What is good and bad,
What is acceptable,
What is unacceptable.
And this process of domestication involves receiving rewards and receiving punishments.
For example,
When we do something that is approved by our parents or society,
We may receive praise or love or rewards or attention.
When we do something that is not approved,
We might face criticism or anger or punishment.
Over time,
As we start to internalize these instructions,
We no longer need someone else to tell us,
We start telling ourselves.
This is self-domestication.
We've adopted the external rules so thoroughly that they become our internal voice.
In the Taltec view,
This domestication can limit our personal freedom because we start to live our lives based on these external standards rather than our true selves.
We might hold back from expressing our true thoughts or our true feelings or pursuing our genuine interests just to fit in or be accepted by others.
The Taltec view is to become aware of these internalized beliefs and norms and to question them,
To challenge them.
And if necessary,
To break free from them,
To live a more authentic and free fulfilling life.
Imagine a girl named Sarah who grows up in a family that values academic achievement above all else.
And from a young age,
Sarah is praised whenever she brings home good grades and is scolded or ignored when her grades are not up to the mark.
Her parents,
Her teachers,
And relatives constantly remind her that success in school is the only key to a successful life.
And over time,
Sarah internalizes this belief.
She starts to believe that her worth is tied to her academic performance only.
And as she grows up,
This belief influences her choices and influences her behavior.
She studies subjects she isn't genuinely interested in just because they are considered valuable by her family and society.
She avoids extracurricular activities like music or art,
Which she loves in this case,
Fearing they might distract her from her studies and ultimately disappoint her parents and result in a life with no success and failure.
Even when she excels academically,
However,
Sarah feels fulfilled because she's not pursuing her true passions.
Should I say unfulfilled?
She's living by a set of rules and a set of expectations imposed on her since childhood that she accepts.
A clear example of domestication,
She has been trained,
If you will,
To value academic success over all of her own interests and all versions of her possible happiness.
Now if Sarah becomes aware of this domestication process,
She might start questioning why she values academic success so highly and so ultimately.
She might realize that her true passion lies in art and that her happiness and self-worth shouldn't be solely based on her grades alone.
By recognizing the origin of these beliefs and challenging them,
Sarah can break free to some degree.
This could lead to the pursuit of a career in art,
Bringing her more joy and fulfillment and representing a life that is more true to her authentic self rather than a life shaped entirely by external expectations.
And in short,
Domestication masks our authentic selves and domesticates us into acting the way society expects us to act rather than what we truly want.
What may be frightening is that it actually deluded us into thinking that that's actually what we want for ourselves.
Here's the practice.
Reflect on your past domestications.
Pause for a moment and reflect on your life's journey.
That may take more than a moment.
Think about the beliefs and ideas instilled in you during childhood that you eventually abandoned because they no longer resonated with your true self.
This could take a while.
These might include notions related to education or career or financial success or materialism,
Political views,
Religious beliefs and other significant areas.
And the objective here is not to harbor any resentment and not to harbor any judgment towards those who introduced these ideas to you.
Instead,
Focus on recognizing the instances of domestication in your life and how you successfully liberated yourself from them.
And if that doesn't apply,
Think on how that can apply to you now.
Acknowledging your past successes in identifying and moving beyond such domestications serves as a powerful reminder that you possess the inherent strength and the inherent capability to continually free yourself from limiting beliefs that may cause you anxiety.
So let's sum this up plainly.
Domestication is the process of internalizing societal norms and expectations,
Often at the cost of our personal freedom and authenticity.
And breaking free from these imposed beliefs is essential for living a life true to our genuine selves.
What do you think?
Can you identify areas in your life where you feel domesticated?
What is one belief you have always accepted without question?
And how might challenging it change your perspective for the better?
How to self-baseline to measure for success.
Use a notebook to list daily decisions where you recognized societal norms influencing you.
And next to each,
Note whether you followed the norm,
Questioned it,
Or chose a different path.
And at the end of each week,
Count the number of times you acted against these norms.
Compared to previous weeks,
Increasing numbers will show a growing ability to act interdependently of societal conditioning.
Congratulations,
We've reached the end of this session.
And in the next session,
We will learn how attachments,
Which are external things such as objects,
People,
And ideas,
Can control our life and make us do things that are not true to the perception of ourselves.
Remember,
The more that you think on these concepts and practice these techniques,
The faster and easier they will work for you.
Thanks again for allowing me to serve you.
And as always,
Remember,
It's a great day to be alive.
And I'll see you in the next session.
Thank you for listening.
Take care,
And bye for now.
