Day 10.
Understanding comparison and competition.
Welcome back.
In the last session we discussed the concept of goal setting in Toltec teachings.
We explored the importance of setting goals from a place of unconditional love rather than through negative self-talk or conditional love.
We learned that linking our self-worth to goal attainment fosters a conditional relationship with ourselves,
Whereas setting goals for the joy of engagement leads to a healthier and more fulfilling life.
Today's objective is to understand the concept of understanding comparison and competition in Toltec teachings.
The theory for this section states that societal narratives often promote a scarcity mindset,
Leading to unnecessary comparison and competition.
Recognizing the abundance in life allows us to move beyond these limiting beliefs.
Our society often portrays life as a competition.
We're bombarded with messages saying everything good in life is limited.
Limited love,
Limited happiness,
Limited success.
And this scarcity mindset turns people into rivals sometimes,
Competing for these limited resources in a way that isn't friendly.
And this competitive unfriendly view is ingrained and can be subtle and undetected.
When meeting someone new,
Do you find yourself comparing your looks,
Your wealth,
Your education,
Or even spirituality to theirs?
These comparisons often lead to an internal competition It's a habit that requires effort to overcome.
Scarcity provokes fear.
Believing in scarcity means seeing others as competitors for limited resources,
Which leads to actions driven by fear rather than by gratitude or appreciation or love.
In the Toltec tradition,
We see the scarcity mindset as a myth.
While you might not always get what you want,
Life provides what you need.
Reflect on your past.
Think of times when you didn't get what you wanted and what happened instead.
Often,
You'll find you received what you needed,
Or perhaps at another point or another time,
Another opportunity showed itself to you.
For instance,
A friend of mine faced a tough divorce.
Initially,
It seemed like the worst thing,
But it led him to personal growth and to new love and to a family that he more so wanted.
Looking back,
We often see that not getting what we wanted actually gave us what we needed,
And preparing us for a different opportunity,
A different future.
Understanding this teaches us to trust in life,
Surrendering to what it brings rather than trying to control everything.
And when you stop believing in scarcity,
You stop seeing others as competitors.
You do your best out of passion and not out of competition,
At least the unfriendly kind.
The idea that you're not enough often goes hand in hand with scarcity,
I believe.
And if you believe that you're flawed or that you're lacking in some way,
You'll feel unable to obtain the supposedly limited good things in life.
And this belief in inadequacy fuels comparison and fuels competition.
So let me be clear,
You are enough.
You are as perfect as you can be.
Believing otherwise causes suffering.
And suffering does not serve you.
So why give suffering any power?
Why give suffering any time?
Letting go of this belief,
Embracing unconditional self-love ends the cycle of comparison and the cycle of competition.
And in reality,
Flaws are just perceptions based on societal agreements.
Once we understand this,
We see that everything is in its own way,
As perfect as it should be.
Here's the practice.
Mandita.
Mandita is a Buddhist idea that that means being happy when others do well or when others seem to get lucky,
Even if it's a way that you wanted yourself but didn't quite get at the time.
It's straightforward.
It's straightforward to feel this joy for family or close friends,
But it's harder when it comes to people that you're not as close to.
So try this exercise.
Think of a time when someone else got something that you wished for,
Like a promotion or an award,
And keep that person and the situation in mind.
And say out loud three times,
I am grateful that this person received the good that I wanted for myself.
How does saying that make you feel?
It's normal if it feels awkward or if it feels insincere at first.
That's okay.
By practicing mandita,
You can start to replace feelings of envy with more positive and useful feelings,
Feelings that serve you better,
Helping you to see that life isn't an unfriendly competition and everyone,
Including you,
Gets what they need at the right moment.
So let's sum this up plainly.
Comparison and competition may lead to the relentless pursuit of certain behaviors and certain fear,
Fear of scarcity.
What do you think?
What are the benefits of adopting an abundance mindset and letting go of comparison and competition,
The mindset that there is always enough?
How can embracing the idea that you are enough and have enough as you are changing and growing throughout your life?
How does that approach to life and interaction with others make you feel?
How to self-baseline to measure for success?
Keep a record of instances where you consciously refrained from comparing yourself to others or competing for external validation.
Weekly,
I challenge you to assess the frequency and ease with which you're able to avoid these patterns,
These patterns of thinking and behaving,
Indicating a shift towards a more self-sufficient and internally validated mindset.
What would happen if you kept a more self-sufficient and internally validated mindset every day for a year?
Well,
There's only one way to find out.
Remember,
The more that you practice these techniques,
The faster and easier they will work for you.
Thanks again for allowing me to serve you.
And as always,
Remember,
It's a great day to be alive.
Keep embracing your journey with love and with authenticity,
And I'll see you on your path to mastery.
Take care.
Thanks for listening.
Good luck,
And bye for now.
