Self Touch - Self Love

This is a guided self-touch, self-massage mindful exercise. It is the result of work I have done in therapy with a client with poor body image and strong guilt associations with self-touch. As such, it is specifically for an adult female audience. There are sensual references and some mild implied sexual references. The exercise may be done clothed or unclothed. There are no explicit instructions, but perhaps not for the prudish.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to this mindfulness meditation on self-touch and self-love.

I should say right at the outset that this particular mindfulness meditation is intended for adult women,

As the terms used simply won't work for male anatomy.

This mindfulness meditation arose as part of my work with a client who had issues with self-image and body image.

This was designed specifically for her and it was at her insistence that I recorded this to share with a wider community.

You are going to need to be somewhere where you are comfortable and unlikely to be disturbed for the next 30 to 45 minutes.

And whilst you can certainly perform this mindfulness exercise fully clothed,

You may be more comfortable undressing down to something loose fitting,

Something comfortable,

Something light.

You're going to want to be able to lie down,

Preferably on a bed,

But on the floor would work equally well.

But be mindful that the space around you is comfortable,

Uncluttered and somewhere you feel completely at ease.

You can pause this recording now if you need time to prepare the area and to undress.

And whilst this meditation may lead to self-touching,

This will be for you to decide.

You don't need anything except your hands and your mind for this exercise.

So we'll begin the session seated on the edge of the bed or on the floor,

Back upright,

Feet on the floor so that you're grounded,

Hands on your lap and taking in a very deep breath all the way in to completely fill your lungs and relaxing and releasing that breath.

And as you breathe,

Focus your attention on where you feel the breath in your body,

Where the breath enters,

Where the breath leaves and the effect that filling your lungs with air has on your body.

And we're going to do this two or three times now.

So take a deep breath in through the mouth and exhale all the way out.

And again,

A deep breath in through the mouth and exhale all the way out.

And one last time,

Take a deep breath in and release that breath and then gently allow your breathing to return to normal.

When you're feeling ready,

Simply allow your eyes to gently close.

And we're going to begin with an exploration of your hands.

So with your right hand,

You're going to gently touch the back of your left hand.

You can start on your smallest finger and with the gentlest of pressure,

Move your fingers to your wrist and then repeat that with each finger.

Gentle,

Light pressure on the back of your finger and the back of your hand.

When you've done that,

Turn over your left hand and repeat that process.

This time starting with your thumb,

The tip of your thumb and with the gentlest of pressure,

Perhaps with only two fingers,

Gently stroking your left hand up to your wrist,

Repeating with each of the fingers.

And keeping your eyes closed if you're comfortable doing so,

You can switch hands and repeat that process using your left hand on your right.

When you've done that,

We're going to return to your left hand.

Again,

Hold it with the back of your hand facing up.

And then with your right hand,

You're going to clasp your thumb at the base and gently move your hand,

Clasping your thumb along to the edge of your thumb and to your thumb tip.

And then repeat with each of the fingers on your left hand before turning your attention in the same manner to your right hand.

Beginning at your wrist,

Enclosing and circling your thumb,

Pull in gently until you reach your thumb tip and then repeating with each of the fingers on your right hand.

And now you can bring your hands together,

Palms touching one another and gently move your right hand down the fingers and the palm of your left.

And then bring your hands together once more and bring your left hand down the fingers of your right,

Down to the wrist.

And then place your hands together again.

You may want to rub them to warm up your fingers.

And as we continue with this exercise,

There are two important things to bear in mind.

One is that this is not a goal-orientated exercise.

There is no place that you have to get to.

The other is that this exercise is for you and your wellbeing.

As you progress through the exercise,

Keep a mindful focus on the sensations in your fingertips,

Your palms and your body.

You will find from time to time that your attention wanders.

Your mind may stray to other thoughts.

When you catch yourself doing this,

Take a deep breath in and refocus your attention onto the physical sensations that you are feeling in your body.

This is your body.

These are your sensations.

Any feelings that arise are your feelings.

You deserve to give yourself this attention.

You are worthy of this attention.

And there is nothing to feel ashamed of or embarrassed about in giving yourself this loving,

Gentle attention.

And then you are going to place your fingers at your temples.

And in a slow,

Circular motion,

You are going to massage your temples.

Bring your fingers over your forehead until they meet in the middle.

Run your fingers over your head,

Through your hair,

Down behind your ears,

To your neck,

Along your jaw,

Down your throat,

Down over your chest,

Over your stomach,

Onto your lap,

Down slowly over your thighs to your knees,

And leaning forwards,

Down your shin bones,

Around your calf muscles,

Down to your heels,

Around the top of your foot,

And to your toes.

And when you reach that position,

You are going to come back up in the same way with your palms on the back of your feet,

Pulling up around your ankle,

Up around your calf muscles,

Over your knees,

Over your thighs,

Around your hips,

Up the sides of your body,

Past your breasts,

Up over your collarbone,

Down to your throat.

Follow your jawline behind your ears,

Run your fingers up the back of your head through your hair,

To the top of your head,

And then with your fingers splayed,

Pull them through your hair,

And let go.

Take a deep breath in,

And let that out.

And now you can move to seat yourself in the center of your bed.

Sit as comfortably as you can,

Either cross-legged or propping yourself up with some pillows.

And you're going to rest the palms of your hands on your thighs,

And to keep your back upright in a position of dignity,

You're once again going to take two or three mindful centering breaths.

And for just a few seconds,

You're going to listen to and repeat silently in your head a self-affirming mantra.

On your in-breath,

You're going to listen and repeat,

My body is beautiful.

And finally,

Out-breath,

You're going to listen to and repeat,

It is mine to treat as I wish.

So again,

In-breath,

My body is beautiful.

Out-breath,

It is mine to treat as I wish.

In-breath,

My body is beautiful.

Out-breath,

It is mine to treat as I wish.

Try repeating your words silently to yourself for one or two breaths.

And now,

Let go.

Let go of your thinking.

Let go of the mantra.

Let go of your attention to your breath.

Let go of your rigidity.

Relax onto your bed.

Remove the pillow.

Place it under your head if you like,

As you lie back down on the bed.

Stretch both of your arms up into the air.

Interlock your fingers and pull your shoulders up tightly and then release,

Bringing your arms down to your sides and relaxing.

And one more time,

Stretch your arms up into the air.

Interlock your fingers.

Stretch your shoulders up as tightly as you can and relax,

Bringing your arms down to your sides on the bed.

Place your right hand on your stomach and feel the gentle movements of your inhalations and your exhalations.

Move your hand up to your sternum,

To the top of your stomach below your breasts and feel how your body responds to your inhalations and your exhalations.

Place your hands to your sides with your fingertips touching the side of your thighs.

Focus on the feeling in your fingertips and in the side of your thighs as your skin touches your skin.

And now slowly bring your fingertips with both hands up over your hips,

Up to the side of your waist,

Gently turning your hands over so the backs of your fingers rub your ribcage,

The sides of your breasts,

To your collarbone.

And then turn your hands with your palms facing your throat and run your hands up over your jaw,

Over your cheekbones,

Over your forehead,

Over the top of your head and stretch out your arms,

Making a wide cross shape on the bed and relax in that position.

Bring your hands back to the side of your body and gently bring up your left knee so that your foot is firmly on the bed and your knee is raised.

And reach up with both of your hands and place them on either side of your knee and then slowly slide down both sides of your thigh,

Bringing your hands up your leg,

Moving your hands so that they explore the side of your thigh by your buttocks and the inside of your thigh as your hands move up over your lap and onto your stomach.

And then lower your left leg and raise your right knee and bring your hands together on the top of your right knee and now slide them gently down either side of your thigh.

Coming closer to your waist,

Bring your hands up the inside of your thigh and the outside of your thigh until they meet the top of your leg and bring them again to your stomach.

Now with your hands on your stomach,

Your fingers pointing downwards,

Raise both of your knees,

Bring your legs together and run your hands up the top of your thigh,

Inching slowly,

Slowly as you feel the contact of your skin on your fingertips as you feel the warmth of your hands run over your thighs to your knees.

And when your hands reach your knees,

Slide them underneath your leg to the back of your knee,

Holding onto your leg under your knee and again slide your hands down the back of your thigh ever so slowly until your hands come to your buttocks.

And then gently bring your hands around your buttocks,

Around the sides of your hips,

Over your pelvic bone and back to your stomach.

You're now going to stretch your hands and your arms up into the air and starting with your left hand as the receiving hand,

You're going to place your right hand on top of the back of your left hand and bring it slowly down your arm,

Past your elbow,

Down to your shoulder,

Around the front of your shoulder,

Keeping your hand,

Your left hand up in the air,

Bring your right hand down to the top of your breast,

Down between your breasts,

Back down to your stomach and then join your right hand with your left hand at your stomach.

And then repeat with the other side,

So raising your right hand,

Placing your left hand on the back of your right hand and moving down your arm,

Slowly,

Gently feeling the touch of your skin as your fingers creep around your shoulder,

Past your collarbone,

To the top of your right breast,

Between your breasts and down to your stomach.

Take a slow breath in,

Release it slowly and then bring your hands up from your stomach to the side of your ribcage and then turn your fingers inwards over your torso till the tips of your fingers touch and then move your hand slowly up,

Feel the shape and the weight of your breasts.

Move your hand slowly over your breasts,

Focus on the feeling as your fingertips pass over your breasts and the inside of your palm passes over your nipple.

Keep moving your hands up to your throat,

To your jawbone,

Behind your ears,

To the back of your neck,

Down,

Back over your shoulders,

Back to the top of your breasts and slowly feel the shape and the warmth of your breasts as your hands run over them,

Down back to your torso,

Over your stomach and then keep going around to the side of your hips,

Down the outside of your thighs,

Slowly going to as far as you can reach before turning over the top of your thighs.

Both hands moving now to the inside of your thighs and then moving slowly up the inside of your thighs until your fingers touch and run your hands over your crotch,

Over your pubic bone,

Over your stomach,

Back up your torso,

Back underneath and over your breasts,

Up to your collarbone and at your throat to cross over your hands,

Around your neck and then bring your crossed over hands back over your breasts,

Feeling the touch of your nipple on your hand and the shape of your breasts as you move your crossed over hands back down your torso,

Back down your stomach,

Back down to your pubic bone where you uncross your hands,

Letting the backs of your fingers and your fingertips touch your pubic area and the inside of your thighs and running slowly with the backs of your nails down the inside of your thighs as far as you can reach,

Back over to the top of your leg,

Back up your thigh,

Over your hips,

Over your torso,

Again turning your hands so that the outside of your fingers traces the contour of your breasts as you move up the back of your fingers,

Follow your neck,

Your jawbone,

Your face,

Your temple until your fingers reach the top of your head and you can interlock your fingers,

Stretch your elbows down to the bed,

Hold that stretch and relax your body.

At this point you might want to gently close your eyes if you don't already have them closed and take some time now to explore how your body is feeling,

Focus on the touch of your fingertips,

Of your palms,

On the area of your body that they touch if your mind wanders to other thoughts,

To fantasy,

Simply acknowledge that your mind has drifted,

Bring your mind back to the gentle touch of your fingertips on your body and now take some time to explore your left leg and start at your foot if you sit up,

Your calf and your thigh,

Spend the next 30 seconds really getting to know your left leg,

Touching every inch of it,

Connecting with every inch of your left leg,

The sole of your foot,

The back of your calf,

Your shinbone,

Your kneecaps,

Behind your knees,

Your thighs,

Your buttock,

Your belly,

And now take another 30 seconds or so to explore your right leg,

Focus your mind on the sensation of touch.

Thank yourself for this gift of touch,

For this gift of sensation,

For this gift of sensual pleasure and now give yourself another 30 seconds or so to explore your stomach,

Your hips,

Your torso.

And now slowly moving your hands gently over your breasts to your throat and your face,

Spend some time touching your face,

Your forehead,

Your eyebrows,

Your eyelashes,

Your nose,

Your cheekbones,

Your lips,

Your chin,

And again your throat.

Sliding your hands now to your left breast and exploring the sensations that you find there.

Moving your hands in whatever way provides you with pleasure and with sensual fulfilment.

And move now to your right breast using both of your hands to explore the shape,

The touch,

The softness,

Perhaps the hardness,

The sensation of skin on skin.

And once again thank yourself for this contact,

For this loving,

Gentle,

Sensuous touch.

And now in whichever way you feel comfortable,

In whichever way you feel drawn,

Spend the next minute or so exploring the sensation of touch on your upper body.

And I invite you now to let go of judgment,

To let go of the fear,

To let go of shame,

To let go of the fear,

To let go of the fear,

To let go of shame,

To let go of thinking,

And to give yourself over to the pure sensual pleasure of your own touch.

Remember,

My body is beautiful,

It is mine to treat as I will.

I invite you to treat your body to whatever sensations pleasures it.

To touch,

To caress,

To kiss,

To squeeze,

To rub.

If that is what your body is telling you it would like from you.

Enjoy your body,

Enjoy this precious special moment that you are giving yourself,

Secure in the knowledge that you deserve to feel this good,

That you deserve the sensations that you feel,

That you deserve the pleasure that you are now having.

I will leave you to yourself,

To your intimacy,

To your self-care,

Your self-compassion,

Your self-touch.

Take your time,

Enjoy.

Reviews

This is really a wonderful meditation. I think every woman should take 45 minutes and care for herself in this way, as often as possible. 🥀

This is great! The description prepared me so I felt comfortable throughout. Thank you.

Beautifully, respectfully written and presented. A true blessing for any woman in need or want of developing a more positive relationship with her own body, skin, sense of self, and what her body is capable of doing. The deference to personal comfort levels was truly empowering.

Thank you for sharing this tasteful and intimately supportive gift of reclaiming personal agency and comfort. I see you and the light within you. Be well. 🤲🏻💖🤲🏻

Oh my! Not sure if I should be thanking the teacher or thanking myself. This was a wonderful, liberating, intimate experience. Thank you so much. I shall use this again, and again…