Hello and welcome to this mindfulness meditation.
We're going to be talking about self-talk and in particular we're going to be talking about should.
How often do you should yourself?
How often do you hold yourself to ideals which you're not able to maintain and then which lead you to feeling that you've failed or you've been remiss in doing something you ought to have done.
Use of the word should can actually be quite damaging to yourself.
So this meditation is going to be looking at a little bit of self-compassion and another way of framing that automated should and that drive to being a perfect version of yourself.
So we're going to start by finding a comfortable position to sit down or to lie down and take a deep breath in through the nose.
Hold it for a second and then exhale slowly and as you do you can allow your eyes to gently close and we're going to repeat that.
So a deep breath in through the nose,
Hold and relax.
Let go of any tension or tightness that you feel in your body.
With each out breath feel yourself softening and relaxing and then as you let your breathing return to its normal rhythm you may notice that you have thoughts in your mind.
Some of these thoughts might be about what you should or shouldn't do.
Maybe I should study more,
Maybe I shouldn't have said that,
Maybe I should be better at this,
Perhaps I should be over this by now.
When you notice these should thoughts don't judge them,
Don't fight them,
Don't try to push them away.
Simply observe them without interacting,
Without getting caught up in them.
If it helps you can imagine them as clouds in a blue sky,
Just as clouds appear so they disappear.
You don't have to hold on to them,
You don't have to try to control them,
You can just let them come and let them go.
Those should thoughts are not something you choose,
They're clouds that appear in your sky and you can watch them slowly drift away without getting entangled in them.
And as you continue to breathe bring your attention now to your body,
Bring your attention now to your body.
Notice any areas of tension or discomfort and breathe into them.
And by this I mean taking a deep breath in and imagining or visualizing that breath going directly to that point of tension or tightness.
And then when you exhale noticing the softening and the relaxing of that point.
And now imagine yourself outside of yourself observing your thoughts.
Rather than getting caught up in them,
Notice that when a should thought arises you can simply note it.
Ah,
There's a should.
And perhaps you can ask yourself,
Is this helpful?
Does this thought serve me in any positive way?
What would be a more helpful thought in this instance?
Maybe instead of saying I should study more,
I could reframe that as I choose to study because it helps me to achieve my goals.
Perhaps instead of thinking I shouldn't have said that,
You could say I have an opportunity to apologize and to learn from my mistake and that will make me a better person.
Give yourself some compassion.
Everybody makes mistakes and everybody can learn from them.
You don't have to be perfect.
In fact,
If you were perfect in every way at everything you do,
There would be no challenge.
There would be no reward.
You would actually find it fairly boring.
So give yourself permission to make mistakes,
To be kind to yourself and to be patient with yourself.
And as you continue to practice observing your thoughts without judgment,
You may notice a sense of calm and clarity.
You may feel more empowered to make positive choices and to let go of some of your negative should talk.
Bring your attention to your breathing.
Notice the breath coming in and coming out.
Sit with your breathing for a minute or so.
And each time you become aware of a should thought distracting you,
Just note it.
Ha!
There's a should and watch it float by.
When you're ready,
Take another deep breath in.
Exhale slowly.
Bring your awareness back to your current surroundings.
Take just a moment to reflect on your experience of this mindfulness meditation and think about how you might be able to incorporate this practice into your daily life.
It doesn't need to be for an hour.
It could be for a couple of minutes.
And throughout the day,
Whenever you notice yourself thinking should,
Either watching it float away or reframing it more positively.
Have a peaceful,
Positive day.
