How wonderful to have you here.
I sincerely hope that this recording gives you relief and support and perhaps a new perspective on the feeling of loneliness.
Let's face it,
Real deep loneliness is a disgusting feeling,
Period.
No wonder it's really hard to bear and often we like to escape into food,
Alcohol,
Binge-watching,
Whatever,
And that's completely human.
I would like to shed light on some comforting aspects with you today,
And of course we will also delve into the feeling and actively work with it,
So that at the end of this session you can feel more connection to yourself and others,
Feel more hope and the knowledge that loneliness is not your enemy and certainly not your destiny,
But just a feeling,
A feeling that,
Like hunger and thirst,
Expresses an existential human need and wants to be satisfied.
I would like to dispel the idea that something is wrong with us when we feel lonely.
We don't say something is wrong with us because we feel hungry or thirsty either.
Again,
These are vital signs that we must pay attention to if we want to survive.
I came across a quote from Martha Beck that is so wise and I want to share it with you.
Loneliness is the proof that your innate search for connection is intact.
Again,
Loneliness is the proof that your innate search for connection is intact.
Let that sink in.
Loneliness is a healthy feeling that shows us that we need other people.
We are social beings and wired for connection,
Not lonely wolves.
For this reason,
Chronic deep loneliness is extremely stressful and unhealthy,
For the soul and for our body,
If we do not know how to deal with this deep longing.
When we feel deep loneliness,
It has different aspects.
Of course,
External factors play a role.
It is not for nothing that solitary confinement is one of the hardest punishments in all cultures.
But we can also feel lonely in a relationship or within a group or even crowd,
Perhaps because we can't relate to the people or because we can't feel connection within ourselves.
So there is also the aspect that we carry an old,
Deep loneliness with us that comes from an early imprint and has little to do with the outside factors.
And we also deal with this gently today.
I will guide you through a simplified gentle tapping session without much explanation.
If you wish to deepen the technique,
I also have a more comprehensive guide on InsideTimer.
I invite you to relax,
Let yourself in,
Get curious about yourself.
You are safe and completely okay and we are now going on a little discovery journey together.
Are you ready?
Sit or lie down comfortably and breathe deeply into your belly.
Close your eyes if you wish.
Continue to breathe calmly and deeply.
Let yourself sink a little heavier into your position with each exhalation.
You can also change your position at any time so that you are sitting or lying comfortably.
Now feel into your body.
Where is this agonizing feeling?
Get in contact with it as well as it's possible for you now at this moment.
Does it have a color?
A structure?
Consistency?
Such as cloudy or hard or dense?
I invite you from the bottom of my heart to join me and gently tap with the fingers of one hand the edge of the other hand.
It doesn't matter which one.
These taps send the body impulses that calms our nervous system and helps us process these heavy emotions.
And now say the following sentence three times.
If possible,
Say it out loud,
But it's also okay if you just do it in your mind.
Even though I feel this unpleasant feeling of loneliness.
Or you might use your body feeling directly.
This tense feeling for example in my stomach.
Even though I feel this intense feeling in my stomach.
I love and respect myself unconditionally.
Continue tapping the edge of your hand.
When you are sitting,
Please ground your feet.
Check if the second part of the sentence works for you.
Otherwise adjust the sentence for example to I am okay if it's not possible for you to say I love myself unconditionally.
So we repeat it even though I insert your feeling now.
Feel this intense pain,
Loneliness,
Longing.
I love and respect myself unconditionally.
Even though I feel this strong feeling in my body.
And name it.
I love and respect myself unconditionally.
Or as it works best for you.
For example,
I am okay.
I am a good human being.
Take a deep breath.
And sense what is happening inside of you.
Do you feel some relief?
Are other feelings coming up?
Everything really,
Everything that is happening inside of you is fine and good.
Don't judge.
And don't worry,
We don't reinforce the feeling by expressing it.
We turn towards it,
Honor it and express it.
Keep breathing calmly and keep tapping the edge of your hand.
While you give the unpleasant feeling a voice.
We don't need that even though introduction now anymore.
Just express the feeling in your body as best as you can do now in this moment.
If you say it out loud,
That's good.
But it also works quietly.
So while you are tapping,
Give these emotions a voice.
This deep loneliness.
This feeling of isolation for example.
This being alone.
This disgusting tension in my stomach.
This hollow longing.
You can't do anything wrong,
So just do it as well as it works for you at the moment.
Sometimes it takes a bit of practice to express what is there in your body.
Stay curious,
Don't judge or analyze.
Just be the witness of where the feeling is in your body and express it.
Stay in touch with your body,
Observe where the feeling is located.
How it may change in color,
In texture or shape or temperature.
And simply continue to breathe and tap gently.
If it gets too intense,
Please open your eyes and keep tapping until the feeling becomes softer.
Sometimes we have pushed down our loneliness for so long that it spills over at first.
But if you keep tapping,
The intensity will go down again after the peak,
Trust me.
If you like,
Change hands.
Breathe deeply and stay in contact with your body.
What is happening inside of you?
Is the feeling changing?
Where is it now in the body?
Maybe you have to yawn or it starts to tingle in parts of your body.
This is all fine and shows that emotional and physical tension is being released.
Keep expressing what you feel.
Feel as best as you can while tapping.
You can't go wrong here,
Okay?
That pressure in your throat,
This nausea,
The deep feeling of being alone.
Just express what is there.
Or just this disgusting feeling.
Maybe also sadness will pop up.
Maybe you have the feeling that you have been alone all of your life.
Then express that too.
This deep sadness.
This grief of never being seen.
This feeling of being all alone.
Or maybe even this feeling of having been abandoned,
Given up on.
Having to do everything alone and by yourself.
Just keep on tapping and breathing.
Perhaps you also feel anger or even rage at the people who have left you alone.
Then express this too.
Give it a voice.
This big anger,
This big rage.
This wasn't okay.
It was not okay.
You can express everything here.
This is your safe space.
Keep tapping gently even and especially when intense feelings come up.
Everything you feel has its right to exist.
This loneliness,
This sadness,
This anger,
This deep pain.
Keep tapping the edge of your hand gently and express the feelings.
And if there are many at the moment,
Express the feeling that is strongest.
Breathe deeply and observe if the emotion becomes softer.
Maybe it gets a bit less stinging or draining.
A bit lighter.
You can also pause the audio if you like and continue until you feel even calmer.
You may already feel a little more connection to yourself or relief or a bit more distance from the sensation.
Maybe the color has changed,
The structure.
What is happening in your body?
How are you feeling now?
Please take good care of yourself and keep tapping if the intensity of the feeling has not yet decreased significantly.
Do you feel that something inside you has become a bit calmer,
Somewhat clearer?
Do you feel more connected to yourself?
If you would like to continue tapping,
Please do so.
You can pause the audio at any time.
If you decide that you can and want to end the exercise at this point,
You can slowly open your eyes again and take the deepest breath you have ever taken today.
Be proud of yourself and your courage.
You have faced this feeling and perhaps even worked through a very old,
Emotional,
Dense layer of grief and pain and loneliness.
You will see if you practice empathizing with your body and processing with tapping,
This feeling will become softer and more like a friendly guide in your life.
Now that we have worked with our inner self,
Let's move on to the purely practical aspects of the outside world.
What are you specifically missing on the outside?
Do you have friends but you long for a partner,
For tenderness,
Warmth,
Sexuality?
Or are you currently in a situation that really limits your contact with other people?
Is your need for a connection more of an intellectual or spiritual nature?
And you have too few people around you with whom you can exchange on that level,
Who really see and understand you?
Now that your nervous system has come out of the fight and survival mode into a more relaxed state,
Your intuition and creativity have a much greater chance of finding concrete solutions.
So listen to yourself,
Perhaps an impulse will pop up and show you how you can take a small practical step towards more connection right now.
This could be to go out and sit in a cafe or call someone you know,
Or taking a step towards your partner after a difficult conversation.
Or you contact a group in your neighborhood with which you can share one of your passions.
Maybe you even feel much more comfortable on your own now,
And you might just want to take a hot bubble bath and get some exercise or listen to music and enjoy being on your own.
Feel what works for you and do it,
If possible straight away,
So that you really feel you are in a state of efficacy at all times and not helpless.
You can take good care of yourself.
Please be very proud of yourself for being so brave to face these feelings of loneliness.
I sincerely hope that my thoughts and also the possibility of using tapping as a support will enrich and reassure you,
That you now have more space for knowing that you are neither alone nor lost and completely okay as you are.
If you wish additional support,
Please feel free to get in touch with me.
All the best,
Kaitana
