A lot of us think that the practice of meditation is simply to sit still and try not to think.
But it's not that,
And it's also not some woo-woo out there activity that's reserved only for yogis and monks.
When we embark on a meditation practice,
It's actually training us in essence to go back to our ground state of being.
It's the state of being that's already and always there,
Always accessible,
It's just that we may not have realized that because our lives are so busy and full that rarely do we stop for a moment and take the time to just reconnect.
The silence is always there.
We're the ones who leave it or fill it up with something else,
Right?
We unconsciously fill the space and that silence with just pretty much anything,
Anything to keep ourselves from having to confront our true selves or bump into our true selves.
We fill it with needless chatter,
We fill it with YouTube videos or alcohol or drugs or shopping online or video gaming or any of those sorts of things.
But the most important and poignant part of meditation practice is really that it teaches us not to reject those parts of ourselves that we may not really like.
Whenever we're still,
Thoughts will arise,
Right?
If we just stop for a moment and close our eyes and just be still,
No matter what,
Thoughts are going to arise.
But most surely,
Some kind of negative self-talk will follow right behind it,
Or some kind of thing I need to add to my to-do list or something like that.
So what meditation teaches us also is not to grasp,
Not to search out there for whatever it is we're trying to find to make us happy.
Most of us are in a never-ending search to look for something to fill a void,
And we have this constant internal dialogue about what we think we need in order to be happy or what we want or maybe even who we think we're supposed to be.
Maybe we're looking for a bigger house or a new boyfriend or we're not happy in our jobs or we don't feel fulfilled or like we're feeling our purpose in life.
We are constantly searching for something that's going to make us feel better.
Meditation also teaches us not to reject.
Not so much just not to grasp out there for the happiness,
But also not to reject whatever does happen to arise in that stillness.
Because ultimately,
And I've had students ask me this before,
You know,
What happens if I'm in the silence of meditation and some old memory or old trauma or something bubbles up to the surface that I really haven't thought about in a really long time and I'd rather not think about,
Right?
I've kind of pushed it down.
And like this example is something that might very well happen in your practice.
So maybe it's a physical sensation or some kind of other pain that gnaws at you.
So when it's that kind of emotional pain that surfaces when you're in meditation,
It's okay to simply just allow that to be.
So this is that part of meditation that not only are we learning not to grasp for things out there,
But we're also learning not to reject or push away the things we really would prefer not to think about or maybe things we've set aside for years and years.
Maybe painful emotions surface like the loss of a loved one either through death or divorce or a friend who's moved away.
Maybe it's even just the loss of your job.
These are tough,
Tough times.
It's important for our spiritual process,
But also our lives,
That we allow whatever emotions are wanting to arise to come to the surface.
In other words,
Not short circuit the lesson that's wanting to happen.
The practice of meditation actually has us confront this very same paradox that we encounter in our daily lives,
Right?
The paradox of joy and laughter as well as pain and discomfort.
So life's painful aspects actually serve to soften us up.
Knowing pain,
Any pain,
Is an important ingredient to just being able for us to learn how to be there for someone else.
You might be thinking,
Well,
How in the world is that true?
Well,
Think about it.
When a friend of yours is sharing something with you,
And you've been through something similar,
Isn't it easier for you to identify and put yourself in their shoes,
But also,
More importantly,
Be more compassionate to their experience and their emotional feeling around whatever it is they're sharing,
Right?
So if we've gone through something in the past similar to what someone is sharing with us,
It's much easier for us to be loving and compassionate.
We have a better relationship to their pain,
Right?
And so because we do,
It's easier to put ourselves in their shoes.
So the good times,
The joyful experiences also inspire us,
Right?
We need both the good and the bad.
They go together.
You can't short circuit the pain,
Hoping that you can just dwell in the good stuff,
Right?
Meditation also helps hone our ability to be patient,
Right?
This kind of patience that I'm talking about kind of allows things to just sort of unfold at their own pace.
There's a lot more acceptance if we can just allow things,
The things we notice,
To just show up and expose themselves instead of fighting against them,
Right?
Or jumping in with our own judgments or habitual patterns of behavior that we always operate sort of on automatic with,
Right?
In anyone's particular situation.
Because when we jump in as part of our knee-jerk reaction to whatever it is that's happening,
We do short circuit what might have been a lesson that we could have learned,
Or perhaps a reward for whatever experience we were encountering in the process,
You know?
It's almost as if we put ourselves out on an island of what we perceive to be safety,
And the unconscious thought process tries to tell us to avoid pain and the upheaval of it all,
At all costs,
And control the situation,
Control the outcome,
So nobody experiences strife or discord or unhappiness or,
You know,
Any of that.
Any of the yucky stuff.
We try to sort of isolate that stuff and hope that we just dwell in the good,
But that's the short circuiting we want to try to not do,
Right?
We can't cultivate patience if everything we're doing is running smoothly,
Right?
Why would you need to be patient if all things are working perfectly,
Right?
You can't learn patience if you're always busy trying to smooth the feathers,
Or not rock the proverbial boat,
Or avoid conflict and pain.
So really,
See if you can notice some of your feelings,
Whether they're emotions or body sensations or reactions to someone or something.
See if you can notice the way you want to try to avoid anything that's not comfortable.
It's totally natural for us as human beings and all animals to seek pleasure and avoid pain,
But just keep in mind that if we we try hard to avoid pain,
We're also going to short circuit the lesson that we were,
You know,
Being called to learn.
