This meditation is called Sofen,
Su and Lao and it is taught in the Mindful Self-Compassion Program.
It is an invitation to be with difficult emotions.
Simply being with difficult emotions in a way that is safe and skillful.
Here the practice is introduced as a formal practice,
As a formal meditation.
But once it becomes familiar,
It may only take a few moments to practice it in daily life.
So the invitation here is to first name the difficult emotion,
To label it,
Which might create some space.
Then bringing mindfulness to the sensations in your body,
Thus letting go of story lines or thoughts.
Finally beginning to soften into the sensation into your body,
Soothing yourself because of the difficult situation and allowing the discomfort to be there.
Alright,
So please finding a comfortable position,
Sitting or lying down.
It is a good idea to be really comfortable when practicing with difficult emotions.
Closing your eyes if that feels comfortable,
Taking three relaxing breaths.
Offering yourself soothing or supportive touch for a few moments to remind yourself that you're in the room and that you too are worthy of kindness.
And that might be a hand on the heart or on any other body part where it feels soothing and supportive for you.
Allowing yourself to recall a difficult situation that you're in right now,
Something mildly to moderately difficult.
Perhaps a health problem,
Stress in a relationship or a work issue.
Choosing something that does generate some stress in your body when you think of it,
But that doesn't overwhelm you.
Also because this practice emphasizes the yin qualities of softening and soothing,
It is better not to choose a situation that makes you feel angry or one in which you feel that you need to protect yourself.
Clearly visualizing the problem.
Who was there?
What was sad?
What happened?
Or what might happen?
As you are reliving this situation,
Noticing if any emotions arise within you and if so,
Seeing if a label for an emotion comes up,
A name.
Maybe worry or grief,
Sadness.
Maybe confusion or fear or longing,
Despair.
If you're not quite sure what emotion you're feeling,
That's okay for now.
Simply experiencing the emotion is enough.
And if you're having many emotions,
Seeing if you can name the strongest emotion associated with the situation.
Now repeating the name of the emotion to yourself in a tender,
Understanding voice,
As if you were talking to a friend about what they were feeling.
Oh,
That's sadness.
That's fear,
Right?
Now expanding your awareness to your body as a whole,
Recalling the difficult situation,
Again if it has begun to slip out of your mind,
Naming the strongest emotion you feel and scanning your body for where you might feel it most easily.
In your mind's eyes sweeping your body from head to toe,
Stopping where you can sense a little tension or discomfort.
Just feeling what is feelable in your body right now.
Feeling more.
If you can,
Please choosing a single location in your body where the feeling expresses itself most strongly.
Perhaps a familiar place or a new place.
Maybe a point of muscle tension in your neck.
A painful feeling in your stomach.
Or an ache in your heart.
In your mind,
Inclining gently toward that spot.
See if you can experience the sensation directly,
As if from the inside.
If that's too specific or feels too strong,
See if you can just feel the overall sense of discomfort.
Now beginning to soften into that location in your body,
Letting the muscles soften and relax as if in warm water.
Softening.
Softening.
You're not trying to change the feeling,
You're just holding it in a tender way.
If you wish,
Just softening a little around the edges.
And soothing yourself because of this difficult situation.
If you wish,
Placing a hand over the heart or the part of your body that feels uncomfortable.
Just feeling the warmth and gentle touch of your hand.
Perhaps imagining warmth and kindness flowing through your hand into your body.
Maybe even thinking of your body as if it were the body of a beloved child or some other being you care about.
Soothing.
And are there some comforting words that you might need to hear?
For instance you might imagine if you had a friend who was struggling in the same way.
What would you say to your friend?
Maybe I'm so sorry I feel this way.
Or I care deeply about you.
Or simply I'm here.
I'm here.
Can you offer yourself a similar message?
Finally,
Allowing the discomfort to be there.
Making some room for it,
Releasing the need to make it go away.
Allowing Allowing Mine.
And allowing yourself to be just as you are.
Just like this.
If only for this moment.
Softening Soothing Softening Softening Soothing Allowing Taking some time and going through the three steps on your own.
You may notice the feeling starts to shift or even change location.
That's okay.
Just staying with it.
Softening Soothing Allowing Allowing Allowing Now letting go of the practice.
Focusing on your body as a whole.
Allowing yourself to feel whatever you feel.
Allowing yourself to be exactly as you are in this moment.
Allowing yourself to feel whatever you feel.
Allowing yourself to feel whatever you feel.
Allowing yourself to feel whatever you feel.
Allowing yourself to feel whatever you feel.
