Not performing a practice in authenticity.
Be however you like.
If your eyes want to stay open,
Honor that.
If you wish to lie down,
Go ahead.
However your practice looks on the outside today is your choice.
You're free to decide for yourself.
Take a moment to make your choice now and settle in.
As you do this,
I offer a gentle reminder that choice is not a prison and you're always welcome to change your mind.
Find your practice now.
Notice what it's like to be here without improving anything.
Let your body be ordinary,
Resting or tense in whatever way it is.
Let your mind be free to move or stay still as it pleases.
Drop the need to fix yourself.
Then observe.
What is it like to offer the sense of allowing to your experience?
What comes up for you as you do this?
Not performing anything.
Just simply allowing things to be as they are.
By performing,
I don't mean that you're trying to be dishonest.
I'm talking about the subtle ways we try to alter ourselves and our experience in an attempt to appear okay.
To appear a certain way we think is right or appropriate.
I'm talking about the subtle shifts we make to try to fabricate a good or correct experience at all costs.
Sometimes we perform for other people.
Other times we perform for ourselves,
Trying to have the right inner experience.
Sometimes this performance is obvious.
We know we're trying to appear a certain way or have a certain experience,
But other times it shows up very subtly in habits we've cultivated over our lives,
From external and internal pressure to be a certain way,
For things to go a certain way.
If it feels safe,
Let your mind linger with the idea of performing,
Perhaps even imagining a time when you knew clearly it was happening.
What comes up for you?
Bring your attention to your body.
Where is there tension or tightness?
Are there muscles you keep trying to relax?
Where in your body do you perform from?
Shoulders?
Hips?
Belly?
Neck or face?
When you try to meditate in the right way,
What tightens?
What posture do you take on when you're trying to look spiritual or have a spiritual experience?
This can be one way performing shows up.
If there is tension,
Let it be.
Today we aren't fixing anything.
Say it to yourself.
Tension is allowed.
How does it feel to give this freedom to yourself?
Keep your awareness with your body,
With any habitual attempts you make to fix yourself,
To create a good experience.
When you notice something arise,
Name it.
Performing is here.
Performing.
Managing.
Trying.
Then allow it.
This is okay.
Seeing it is okay.
Just breathe.
Noticing and breathing.
Performing is here.
Performing.
Managing.
Trying.
This is okay.
Seeing it is okay.
Just breathe and notice.
We aren't here to stop anything or block anything or ignore anything.
We're just noticing.
We're getting honest with ourselves.
We're practicing that.
This is authenticity.
Self-honesty is intimacy.
And we're building intimacy with ourselves.
You can try it now.
Get honest with yourself.
Name one true thing.
Say it silently in your mind.
Maybe it's I'm tired or I want to do this right.
I don't understand or I'm not feeling anything.
Maybe it's I feel sad or I'm okay right now.
Just name one small truth.
No dramatizing it.
No story about it.
Simply connecting to yourself.
To what's real for you.
No fixing.
And no performing.
However things are going,
Let yourself drop the practice.
Just set it down.
Just set anything down.
If your eyes were closed,
Open them.
And either way blink a few times.
Look around the space you're in and simply notice where you are.
Throughout the week,
Bring this practice back to mind.
Find contact with your body and check in.
Where are you performing?
You don't need to judge it or say it out loud.
Just recognize it.
See it.
And come back to one true thing.
Build the relationship to yourself through trust and honesty.
Notice performing.
And practice authenticity.
Take a few deep breaths here.
In and out.
No rush.
When you feel ready,
Simply get up and go about your day.
Thank you.
