The Mystery Of The Self

Who am I? What am I? What is this thing that you call I or Me? Since childhood, we are conditioned to learn everything about the external world but nothing about our own selves. Join Saqib in this talk to journey into the mystery of the self! If you like this talk, then check out Saqib's course here on Insight Timer: "Non-Duality."

Transcript

Who am I?

What am I?

What is this thing that we call I,

Me or myself?

I always talk about how our perception of the world is distorted due to social conditioning because of which we tend to ignore a lot of essential aspects.

And I believe that the most significant aspect of our lives that we have ignored is ourselves.

We have always been taught to keep our awareness and focus on the external world.

Our parents,

Guardians,

Relatives,

Teachers and other influencers have always told us to focus on studies,

Work,

Relationships,

Material objects like cars,

Houses,

Clothes,

The city or the country we live in,

The places we travel to,

Etc.

Even our subjects in school and university majorly focus on external phenomena like geography,

Politics,

History,

Objective science,

Business,

Etc.

But the most basic and vital aspect of our lives is ignored by almost all the social systems and that is the phenomenon of this self.

Who am I?

What am I?

What is this thing that we call I,

Me or myself?

Where does it come from?

Where exactly is it in space and time?

The world that we experience around us sprouts from us.

If I did not exist,

Then this experience of the world would not have existed.

Then doesn't it make sense to know ourselves first?

But yet,

How much knowledge do we really have about ourselves?

Let's first discuss how we define ourselves.

When someone asks you that who are you,

How do you describe yourself?

For example,

In an interview when the HR asks,

Tell me about yourself.

This is how we commonly define ourselves.

My name is so and so,

I have studied in that school,

In that university,

In that subject,

I have worked in that company,

In that job profile,

My hobbies are so and so,

I have all these certifications,

I have all these work accomplishments,

Etc.

But does that really answer the question that who am I?

Or are these just labels?

Our name was given to us by our parents,

Our degree was provided to us by the university,

Our job title is defined by the work we do.

It doesn't tell that who we really are.

And all the labels that are given to us are based on the activities we do in life.

So what if all these labels were taken away from us?

Our name,

Our qualifications,

Our job title and everything.

What will be left then?

Now a common belief is that this body of mine is the I or the self.

But what if someone loses a few body parts in an unfortunate accident?

For example,

What if someone doesn't have arms and legs?

Does their sense of self decrease?

And where exactly in the body is this I or the self?

Is it in the limbs?

Is it in the abdomen or chest?

Is it in the heart?

Or is it in the face?

Or is it in the brain?

Some believe that this I or the self is in the brain.

But can the brain exist on its own?

In fact,

Can my entire body exist on its own?

Can I exist independently?

I don't think so.

I will need my mother to give me birth.

I will need gravity to keep me grounded.

I will need food,

Water and oxygen from nature to stay alive and so on and so forth.

Then if I can't exist independently,

How is my self or I limited to my own body?

I am not even the same person that I was 7 years ago because every cell in my body is continuously changing and my entire body transforms in 7 years,

Each and every cell of it.

In fact,

Some part of me is changing every second.

Even my mind also keeps changing.

My thoughts and beliefs keep changing every second.

So if everything changes and if everything is interdependent,

Then how can we say that this body of mine is the I,

Me or myself?

This question is profound and it has amused many mystics,

Philosophers and scientists for ages.

Some believe that there is no self at all and that this feeling of I,

Me or myself is just an illusion.

Some believe that the I is our soul.

Some believe it is the consciousness.

While there are others who believe that this I is our collective consciousness and that separation between sentient beings is just an illusion.

The purpose of this session is not to philosophically find out what this phenomenon of self is.

The purpose of this session is for us to first shed the labels the society has given us and then to find out that who I really am.

In other words,

We have to unlearn what the society has told us about I or the self,

So that we can correct our distorted worldview.

And then eventually it is to delve into a self-enquiry to find out for ourselves who am I.

Because only I can tell who I am.

The society cannot tell me.

Someone telling me that who I am is their perception of me.

And isn't that what the society has been doing to us?

It has been telling us what to do and what not to do only when I can know what is right for me.

Only I can find out who I am because it is my own unique experience.

How much do we really understand ourselves today?

What are the emotions buried deep within me?

What are my desires?

What are the things that trigger negative emotions in me?

What are the things that inspire me?

What are my strengths?

What are my weaknesses?

What is the pattern of my behaviour when I face difficult situations?

What are my fears?

What are the mistakes that I keep repeating?

What is the purpose of my life?

What are my top three morals that I can't compromise on?

What are the top three ideas in my mind which when executed will take my life to another level?

What do I want from a relationship?

Who do I really love?

How do my mood and my energy change throughout the day and through various seasons of the year?

And many other such questions which if we meditate on can really help us have a strong knowledge of ourselves.

One good practice of delving into self-inquiry is living alone at times.

That is the time when you really befriend yourself and get to know yourself.

When we desire to know another person,

We usually take them out for a coffee or dinner or a trip so that we can get to know them well.

So why don't we regularly take ourselves out of the crowd to know ourselves well?

Although initially staying alone can be challenging for many,

But after you face those challenges,

There comes a time when you start being at peace with yourself.

And that is the time of quality self-inquiry,

Contemplation,

Self-discovery and self-growth.

And once you grow yourself,

Then comes the time when you go back into the crowd and share the story of your self-discovery and growth so that even the world can benefit from it.

So why do we really need to find the answer to this question that who am I?

How will it help us in cultivating a meditative mind?

When you truly understand who you are,

Your ego melts away.

You realize that you are changing at all times.

You are deeply interconnected with every other thing in the universe and that basically you are one with the entire existence.

We feel deep compassion and empathy for nature and other sentient beings and this is when we stop judging and labeling others.

We realize that we ourselves cannot be labeled because we are changing at all times.

Then how can we judge others?

A person that did something yesterday is not the same person today.

And because you realize that you and the other person are one,

You don't get hurt by the actions of the other person.

You feel deep empathy for that person.

This is what all great spiritual masters like Buddha,

Jesus,

Laozi etc.

Experienced when they delved into their own self-inquiry.

They became one with the existence and they developed infinite compassion and empathy for other beings.

The other thing that happens when you understand yourself is that you start noticing your own emotions,

Behavior and patterns.

Earlier,

If a particular person used to trigger anger in you,

Once you understand your own feelings with regards to that person,

Once you watch your own behavior towards that person and once you understand that what triggers that behavior,

You will make a conscious effort to change it and eventually you will take control of your own actions.

There are n number of benefits of knowing yourself.

Once you know yourself,

You have full control over your actions.

You will precisely know what you are here for on this planet and you will have knowledge about yourself which will help you grow and prosper in life.

I hope you found value in this session.

Reviews

Every time I hear your talks they bring me peace and calmness. 🙏🏻

I give thanks. It sounds wrong to write "Thank you" after this session. 🙏

À talk I didn’t know I needed!
With deep gratitude 🙏

As always a beautiful talk,you always have a lovely way of explaining things
Namaste 💚 my friend

Exactly what I needed for today
I thank you for your inspiration
Namaste 🙏
Copy that!

Saqib, this is ONE of the questions, I keep asking myself! Who AM I?

Complex question but in my sacred silence I am slowly discovering that very obscured answer. Your talk has shed beautiful light to guide me in search of finding my true self🤍🙇🕊️

Much love 🌻❤️🙏🏻

Thank you for sharing these insights. I found it inspiring and very helpful. In gratitude 🙏

Saqib, thank you again for entering the door to my heart.🙏Namaste

I always find value in your talks and meditations. Thank you

This has helped me contemplate, reflect and understand my reactions to triggers such that I can work on responding mindfully instead. Abundant gratitude to Saqib for his loving guidance 🙏🙏

Thank you. This was very helpful and just what I needed to hear at this moment. ❤️

Bless you for this. So many wise insights put simply and lovingly. 🦋

Grateful for you and your talks! You have helped illuminate my path 🕯
Thank you!

Very informative and explained in an easy to understand manner. Thank you!

Exquisite, really brings this into perspective in a short track, thank you saqib🙏❣

Thank you Saqib for your insight and explaining the initial unease when getting to know ourselves. Now I'm off to discover what I truly desire! Namaste🙏

Cogeant, helpful.

Thank you. Yes, It helps to think that a person who did something yesterday is not the same today. People constantly change. Blame is not helpful, but compassion is.

Excellent talk. Thank you, dear Saqib. 🤍🤍🤍

Saqib, this is a wonderful talk that helps me understand myself a bit more, and gives me direction as to how I can learn more about me. I. Thank you, my dear teacher. AJQ