How To Cultivate A Meditative Mind

Meditation is hugely helpful in developing a calm and centered mind, but is their any way to maintain a meditative mind all the time, even if we don't meditate regularly? In this talk, Saqib shares 4 simple yet effective practices, that will help us stay in the right state of mind anytime, anywhere. If you like this practice, then check out Saqib's course here on Insight Timer: "Non-Duality."

Transcript

I welcome you all to this talk.

Let me start by sharing an amazing finding with you about the human mind.

The human mind on average gets about 70,

000 thoughts each day.

That's approximately 2900 thoughts in an hour,

50 thoughts in a minute,

And almost one thought every second.

Can you imagine?

One thought every second.

How many thoughts we would have got only since I have started speaking.

But are we aware of all these thoughts?

Definitely not.

Otherwise we could easily remember them all and list all of them down.

So one thing is for sure.

We are not consciously aware of all the thoughts that we get.

That means that most of them are a part of our subconscious mind.

Conscious or subconscious,

These thoughts do affect our lives every day,

Every hour,

Every minute,

And every second.

We aren't even aware of most of them.

We can't be aware of each of those thoughts,

But we can definitely be aware of those few thoughts which arise in our conscious mind.

The title of this talk is,

How to Cultivate a Meditative Mind.

So the very first question that comes to our mind is,

What is a meditative mind?

The answer to this question could be as deep and as vast as an ocean.

However,

I will answer this question in the context of this talk.

So a meditative mind is a mind that is aware.

It is not controlled by thoughts and is rooted in the present moment.

It observes more and reacts less.

We were born with a meditative mind.

A lifetime of social conditioning has strapped our meditative mind under vast layers of thoughts which include perceptions,

Judgments,

Emotions,

Attachments,

Insecurities,

Fears,

Etc.

The result of this is a society whose majority of the population is living under stress,

Anxiety,

Depression,

Trauma,

Fear,

Addiction,

And the list goes on and on.

Why couldn't we sustain the meditative mind that we used to have in our childhood?

Why don't we still have that innocence,

That curiosity,

Creativity,

Bliss,

Playfulness that were our characteristics in our childhood?

It is extremely difficult not to have thoughts and emotions at all.

Our goal is not to stop these thoughts from arising.

Rather,

It is to have control over them and not get carried away by them.

For this,

The first thing to do is to realize that our awareness is separate from our thoughts.

Only when we consider our thoughts to be separate from our awareness,

We will be able to control them.

To maintain such a state of mind,

Meditation is definitely the best tool,

Which when practiced as a habit on a daily basis,

Brings the mind to its natural state of being meditative.

However,

When not in meditation,

There are a few practices that can help us cultivate a meditative mind,

Which in turn would make us be at peace with our existence,

Be calm,

Non-judgmental,

Confident,

Compassionate,

Productive,

Healthy and have all those qualities which are natural to us but are hidden deep inside us under those layers of thoughts and emotions.

This is how we work our way towards a happy and fulfilling life.

In this talk,

I will talk about four of those practices which are small changes in our thinking,

Leading to big changes in the quality of our lives.

Let's talk about them one by one.

Practice number one Life is a movie Many religions,

Mystical traditions and quantum physicists believe that what we call life or reality is a creation of our consciousness,

An illusion or maya,

Something that doesn't have any external physical existence.

It can be compared to a dream state which is also just a part of our mind and doesn't have an external physical existence.

Well,

This has been a very controversial topic of debate among scientists over the last century.

I am not a scientist so I will not go into the science of it.

However,

With my understanding and after listening to a lot of mystics,

I would like to use a metaphor here.

Life is a four-dimensional movie Like while watching a two-dimensional movie,

We involve two of our senses,

That is,

Sight and hearing.

In life,

Along with these two senses,

We involve additional three senses.

These are smell,

Taste and touch.

This gives a four-dimensional space-time experience of life.

Imagine that you are watching your favorite movie in a movie theater and are immersed in a very intense scene which makes you highly emotional.

Now imagine that suddenly you start smelling the things that you see on screen.

Will it make your experience better than before?

You then start having the taste of the food you see in the movie.

Will it make your experience more realistic now?

And then suddenly the two-dimensional screen turns into a four-dimensional space-time and you become a part of that movie.

You also start sensing the touch of other characters and things in the movie.

Now how will your experience be?

Very realistic,

Right?

This is how we can witness life as a movie.

The goal here is to be an active observer in life by staying grounded in the present moment.

Imagine how will it be if you are not actively present while watching a movie and miss out on many parts of the movie.

Will you be able to enjoy that movie completely?

Also,

Like we don't get that much affected by a movie,

We don't experience stress,

Anxiety or depression when something bad happens in the storyline of a movie.

We can train our mind not to get affected by life itself.

To be a witness,

One has to have a calm and centered mind and just observe the things happening in and around and learn from them and act on our learnings wherever necessary.

I am not saying that one should not engage with life.

Definitely one should engage with life actively.

But the point here is not to get attached to people,

Things to the extent that we get affected by them and suffer.

So just grab a popcorn and enjoy this movie of your life.

This brings me to practice number two.

That is,

Loving without attachment.

Practice number two.

Love without attachment.

Let's talk about attachment in more detail.

Buddha said that attachment is the root of all suffering.

Now that's a powerful statement.

Many of us might be thinking,

What nonsense!

How can we love people and things if we don't get attached to them?

Well,

What we have to understand here is that love and attachment are two different things.

Plucking a flower from a shrub and wanting to keep it with you is attachment.

After a while,

The flower will wither off and neither the flower will live nor you will be able to experience its beauty and fragrance for a longer period of time.

Letting that flower stay on that shrub and experiencing its true beauty is love.

Keeping a bird close to you in a cage is attachment.

However,

Letting the bird free to take its flight in the sky is love.

Clinging has many disadvantages.

If we cling to certain things and certain people,

We miss out on many other aspects of life that are beautiful.

Our society today is attached to things and people.

We have been conditioned to cling to money,

To our partners,

Our families,

Our houses,

Cars,

Gadgets,

Etc.

What we are missing out is self-love,

Personal growth,

Beautiful experiences,

Travelling,

Learning,

Contemplating,

Meditating,

Getting to know ourselves,

Getting to know the universe,

Meeting new and interesting people,

Exploring unexplored places on earth and many other things that bring true beauty to our lives.

Also,

Attachment creates expectations.

When we are attached to our partners,

We expect them to behave in a certain manner and when they don't,

We suffer.

When we are attached to materialistic things like our houses,

Cars,

Gadgets,

Etc.

,

We expect these things to provide us happiness all the time and when they don't,

We suffer.

There always comes a saturation point of our happiness that we gain by getting attached to things and people.

And when we cross that stage,

We look out for other things and other people to get attached to.

Therefore,

Loving unconditionally without expectations,

Letting things as they are and not attempting to change them,

Having space in relationships,

Not clinging to things for long periods of time are a few practices that will help us be at peace.

Loving without attachment is an art which has to be mastered and would require a deeper understanding.

But now at least we know that it is something that we have to work on.

Practice number 3.

Who am I?

This is a question that we should always ask ourselves.

Who am I?

The thing that we call I,

Me or myself is again something that is a result of social conditioning.

We define ourselves by imparting labels and tags based on family association,

The name given to us,

Religion,

Beliefs,

Community,

Events in our life like the educational degree that we got from our university,

The job title that we hold,

Our physical appearance,

And the list goes on.

Just remember the times when we are asked that who are you?

Like in an interview,

How do we define ourselves then?

We say things like my name is so and so,

I have studied in this university,

I have this degree,

I have worked in that company with that job title,

My family members are so and so,

My hobbies are so and so,

Etc.

But are all these labels and tags our true self?

Is this really what I am?

What if we remove these labels,

Events,

Associations,

Physical possessions,

Etc.

From our life?

Then what would remain?

How would we define ourselves then?

What was I when society didn't impart these labels to me?

What was I when I was just born and had no name,

No religion,

No degree,

No hobbies,

And when nobody told me which family I belonged to?

One practice that we can do to know that who am I is called finding oneself.

Sit in silence for some time and just let go of the labels and associations that we used to define us.

Then ask yourself,

Where am I?

Where is this feeling of I,

Me,

Myself?

When I say I,

Me,

Or myself,

What and where is this thing that I am referring to?

Maybe this feeling of I is present in the body?

So try to find it.

Observe that when you say I,

Is this feeling present in your legs,

Or stomach,

Or chest,

Or any other part of the body below our head?

Most of the people don't find this feeling of I,

Me,

Or myself in the part of the body below the head.

So is this feeling behind our eyes?

Initially many people think that this feeling of I is present behind the eyes or in the brain.

But if we close our eyes and contemplate deeply,

We will realize that this feeling of I is not even present there.

It is nowhere to be found in the body.

In fact,

We might end up realizing that this body and this world which we call reality is just a thought in our mind.

Then where is this I?

What is this I?

Now the answer to this question is something that mystics have tried to point since many ages.

There are different versions of the explanations like this I or the self or the ego is just an illusion and it does not exist.

Some say that this I is pure awareness,

Devoid of any alterations done by the society since our childhood.

Some say that there is no individual self and that we are a united consciousness.

The separation between sentient beings,

The separation between subjects and objects is just an illusion.

And for others,

The I or self is a combination of all these.

The purpose of this talk is not to know that what this I or self is,

But is to know that what it is not.

One thing that I have realized that it is something that we can only experience ourselves and it cannot be told to us by someone else.

Because that someone else is definitely not me and that someone else has their own different experience than what I am experiencing.

So only I can know that who am I?

So what's the use of this?

What's the use of knowing that who am I?

How will it help us cultivate a meditative mind?

What is the practical use?

As it is an individual experience and different for everybody,

I will tell you how it helps me.

Firstly,

It helps me understand myself and my relation with the world around me better.

It makes me a better student of life.

It makes me curious.

It helps me not end up defining myself with events,

Associations and physical possessions because everything is changing every moment.

Each cell in our body changes every moment and as time passes by,

Every physical aspect of us changes.

I am not the same person physically that I was in my childhood.

Even mentally my beliefs,

Opinions,

Emotions have changed.

This leads me to self-enquiry.

Secondly,

It helps me to not judge others.

As I now understand that I myself cannot be defined or labeled by events,

Associations or physical characteristics,

I realize that in a similar manner,

I cannot define,

Label or judge others.

Also,

It makes me more empathetic and compassionate towards others.

When this illusion of the self,

This ego and this separation from other sentient beings is removed,

We naturally feel more connected to others.

We start feeling their emotions and if we understand this deeply,

We start getting the feeling that all of us are one.

And finally,

It helps me be aware of myself and my actions.

I do this by watching myself all the time.

Now how to watch oneself?

Consider your awareness to be something separate from your body and your thoughts.

Now as if you are just a consciousness or awareness or a soul in someone else's body with someone else's thoughts,

Watch every action of yours.

Watch the thoughts that come and go.

Watch what you speak.

Watch how you breathe.

Watch your body and how it responds to external stimuli and watch what emotions arise in you.

This practice will surely make us more aware of ourselves.

Practice number 4.

The Inquisitive Mind.

People reach a high level of consciousness when they just become an observer or witness of the movie of life by staying grounded in the now and not getting affected mentally by some external events.

However,

This is not true with many of us and many of us are just somewhere on the path to reaching that higher level of consciousness.

At our current state,

Although we might be practicing being mindful,

We also do get affected by external events.

These events are usually related to the things that we are attached to.

Anything goes wrong in our relationships,

Work,

Health,

Etc.

It does affect us to a great extent.

In such situations,

We can't help but think about the situation that we are in.

So how does one stay grounded in the present moment in such situation?

How does one meditate?

How does one not think about the situation?

There is no button that will switch off our thinking process.

In such a situation,

Trying not to think is definitely not going to help.

The harder we try,

The more forcefully the thoughts will rush to our mind.

The following technique,

If done properly,

Can be of great help.

Sit in silence and let all thoughts rush to your mind.

Now there are two categories of thoughts that come to our mind.

The first category is the ones that are unimportant and that don't affect as much.

An example of this can be a memory of someone from the last day who accidentally banged into you while you were walking down the street and didn't even apologize for it.

You didn't get hurt but you felt a little bad that at that moment the person should have at least apologized for their mistake.

Such a thought is something that won't bother you for long.

Because 1.

You didn't know the person and you were not attached to them.

And 2.

The mistake they committed was something really insignificant.

It didn't affect you much.

We can easily let go of such thoughts.

However,

The second category of thoughts are the ones that affect us to a great extent.

Examples of these can be business failures,

Sudden breakups,

Financial crisis,

Sudden deterioration of health,

Getting fired from jobs,

Verbal arguments and fights with your loved ones etc.

These are the kind of thoughts that if left unattended will surface again and again in our mind.

By not confronting these thoughts,

We are not letting them go,

We are actually repressing them.

And then they are bound to resurface again and again until they are confronted.

Sitting in silence,

You have to identify the second category of thoughts which affect you.

Hold on to them and let go of the first category of unnecessary thoughts.

It is now time that we confront these painful thoughts.

But how do we confront them?

Do we just keep thinking about them endlessly and feel bad about the situation that we are in?

This is a natural and common response which leads to suffering.

In such situations,

We start thinking that we are screwed and that life is so tough on us,

That we are losers and this is what our fate is.

This is when negativity comes in and takes over our mind,

To take us into anxiety or depression.

We can certainly stop this from happening.

Firstly by taking control of our thoughts by watching them like they are something external to our awareness,

We have to remember that our thoughts can control us only if we let them control us.

Instead,

We should take control over our thoughts.

Just by the act of observing our thoughts,

We can take control over them.

And secondly and most importantly,

By simply being curious.

Bring that thought into your awareness and be curious.

Find the reason behind what happened.

Why did it happen?

This is the most important step in solving this situation.

Many of us don't even ask these basic questions to ourselves and just believe what the situation shows to us.

Once we find the reason behind the situation,

One of the following things will happen.

Either we will find out that there can be a solution to the problem or we will realize that the situation is something beyond our control and that we can't really do anything about it.

If we can do nothing about it,

There is no point in worrying and thinking about it too much.

For example,

If someone you know passes away in an unfortunate incident,

Will thinking about it again and again be of any help to us?

Can we bring back the person by just thinking about their demise?

In most cases,

Just finding the reason behind the situation will make us find a solution for it.

Remember,

Most of the things aren't impossible to do.

It's just our mindset that decides whether the problem will be solved or not.

This simple act of sitting in silence and finding the reason behind the thought that affects us will solve our problem to a great extent.

We will either be able to let go of things that are out of our control or we will find a solution and act on it.

Sitting in silence will help us realize solutions to problems.

So to summarize,

The four practices are 1.

Being just a witness and active observer of life by considering it as a movie and staying grounded in the present moment.

2.

Loving without attachment.

3.

Asking that who am I and realizing that what I am not.

4.

Being curious and finding the reason behind situations that affect us.

With that,

I would like to thank you for listening to me so patiently.

I hope you found value in this talk.

Seven blessings to you and have a wonderful day.

Reviews

Saqib... Assalamualaikum. I am so proud of You. God has chosen You to reveal His Divine secrets, the Truth Or the ultimate Truth. You are in the same path of Rumi (r.a), Hafiz(r.a), Saadi Sirazi(r.a), Yunus Emre(r.a), Eckhart Tolle, Paulo Coelho and so on but, yes, journeys are different. I do not know how many lifetimes of spiritual practice You have behind You, but You are really very blessed. I am so proud of You and i am so glad that we're connected here on Insight Timer.

Absolutely marvellous understanding that allows freedom of individuality and self, whilst expanding our boundaries of knowledge of self; therefore empowering us to heal ourselves. Thank you Saqib…

I really appreciate your wonderful talks.And thank you for your gentleness and kindness too?

Thank you, Saqib. I wrote down the part about the two categories of thoughts 👍🏻

Thank you so much Saqib, I love listening to your wise words. Can I ask that you record more talks? 💕🙏

Thank you for a really interesting talk. I have spent much of my 50 years avoiding painful thoughts by shutting down. Recently I am meditating and learning to sit with difficult thoughts and feelings. I am experiencing a shift in my patterns and it feels very positive. Your talks and meditations are really helping 🙏🏻

What a talk!!! I wonder how did I miss this one?! Thank you for the most valuable and inspiring talk... I will be surely coming back to this.... Blessings to you. Namaste 😊🙏🏻

Very thought provoking. Thank you 🙏🏼

Words of wisdom. Thank you for the reminder Saqib. Many blessings 🙏😌💓💫

Very good talk. I really appreciate your method of giving numerical identifiers to the concepts which you are conveying. This method can help us to take notes and aid in further solidifying our understanding and memory of the lesson. 🙏🏼

What a valuable talk,Saqib! I will listen again. Blessings to you. 🕉☯️💕

Thank you VERY much. it's wonderful to explore the possibilities you named.

Excellent talk! Full of wisdom. Thank you very much 🙏

This is wonderful and I’m sure I will be coming back to it again. Thank you 🙏🏾

Thank you so much 🙏.

I had started out looking for a guided meditation but this was thought-provoking and helpful. It made me realize that what we start out looking for initially isn't necessarily what we need. Thank you.

Thank you for the insights 🙏

Yes, I did find value in your talk. Thank you.
I wish you peace.🦋

Excellent! This is very helpful, and just what I've been working on lately. Will be referring to this often. Thank you! Namaste!