What is permanent?
Are all the material things that we possess permanent?
Our car,
Our house,
Money etc.
Are the relationships we have permanent?
Is our own body permanent?
Is life on earth permanent?
Is even the entire universe permanent?
Most of us would agree that nothing is permanent,
And still we behave as if everything is permanent.
We become selfish and try to grab and hoard things as if they will stay with us forever.
We even are ready to hurt others just so that we can have more of the things we desire.
By holding on to such things,
We stop the natural process of the universe,
That is,
Flow.
Everything is flowing in the universe.
Everything is continuously changing and moving.
The people who understand economics would know that how important is the flow of money for economies to prosper.
Once people or organizations start hoarding money,
It is the cause for a lot of trouble.
Similarly,
When water becomes static and accumulated,
It becomes a breeding pool of diseases.
The same is true for the flow and movement of anything and everything in the universe.
The wind,
The energies,
The planets,
The star systems,
Galaxies,
Etc.
Everything is always flowing and always changing.
So why do we feel hurt when people change?
This question has amused me for many years,
And I have heard this from a lot of people who experience heartbreak.
They would say that he changed or she changed.
Well,
They are supposed to change.
It would be weird if they don't change.
The natural process of the universe will be interrupted if people don't change.
I believe that having expectations is one of the greatest delusions ever.
Expecting someone to behave the same way always is going against the natural process of the universe.
By believing that a person would always love you,
Take care of you,
Keep you happy,
Entertain you,
Make you laugh,
Support you,
Be with you,
Etc.
Is believing that the person would never change,
When in fact the person can't do anything but change.
Change is growth.
For someone to evolve to a level of higher consciousness,
They must change.
Therefore,
To learn,
To grow,
To become a better version of ourselves and to raise our consciousness,
It is crucial to embrace change.
Therefore,
We delude ourselves when we ask people to make promises and to stay as they are.
That person is bound to change,
And when they do,
We feel hurt.
Hence,
We will genuinely love without attachment when we accept the fact that everything is impermanent.
Everything flows and everything changes.
That is when we watch the other person change in front of our eyes and accept and appreciate the change in them and still love them.
Even if it seems that the person is changing negatively or they are making themselves worse,
We should accept the fact that change is not always seemingly beautiful.
Change is usually messy and chaotic.
Many times a person first goes down and then goes up on their graph of growth.
It is by changing and experiencing failures that the person will truly learn and work on their unhealthy patterns.
On your part,
You can always offer them help,
Support and advice if they are willing to take it.
Otherwise,
Just relax and let the natural process of the universe happen.
Not only in relationships,
But it is also wise to embrace change in everything.
We suffer only when we expect things to stay permanent,
When we always want the sun to keep shining,
Or our bank accounts to be filled with a lot of money,
Or when we always want our bodies to stay a certain way,
Or the environment and nature to support us all the time even though we have been changing it by degrading it.
And then when a natural disaster like an earthquake or a tsunami occurs,
We suffer and wonder why did that happen,
What was our fault.
A true master would always stay blissful,
Whatever the external condition may be.
They would embrace the various seasons of life,
They would embrace change.
They would maintain their calm even when there is chaos all around them,
And that is the sign of a person who has genuinely connected to their soul.
We don't realize it,
But we always desire change in our lives.
This is evident by the fact that we get bored so quickly.
Even if your friend tells you the same jokes every day,
What would happen then?
Or if your partner gives you the same gift every time?
You would probably get frustrated.
No one thing can entertain us forever.
Everything has its saturation point,
Be it physical pleasure,
Travelling,
Watching movies,
Eating at expensive restaurants,
Attending parties etc.
And once we get bored,
We say that we want to change and we would go to any extent to bring that change in our lives.
Therefore instead of suffering when change occurs,
Let's learn to embrace change and flow with it.
Take care.
