Creating A Stress-Free Environment - Insight Timer Live

The first step before practicing inner healing is to create an outer environment which is aligned with what we wish to feel inside ourselves. Join Saqib in this recorded Insight Timer Live session to explore why is it important to create a stress-free environment which facilitates healing stress & anxiety.

Transcript

Hello namaste and a very warm welcome to this session.

My name is Sakib and I'm welcoming you with love with blessings.

Thank you so much for joining me today.

Now although this is a very common topic stress and anxiety,

But I believe that there are so many ways to explore and you know,

There are so many teachers out there who talk about stress and anxiety.

Today what I want to do is to present my own perspective to you on stress and anxiety,

What I feel about stress and anxiety and how we can potentially transform that.

And let's talk about this.

What is stress?

How does stress happen?

How does anxiety happen?

Now there are various definitions of stress and anxiety out there.

People have a lot of different ideas about stress and anxiety.

What is stress?

What is anxiety?

How does this happen?

But let's talk about this and I will present to you what I feel about this.

What is my perspective on this?

And no perspective is right or wrong.

It's just each one of us have a unique perspective on this.

I'm sure you will have your own perspective on this.

I'm sure you will have ideas,

Insights about stress and anxiety.

So feel free to share in this comment section.

And I believe in mutual learning.

I don't believe that only I have all the answers.

I believe that we all have,

You know,

Our own insights so we can learn from each other.

Feel free to share that in the comment section.

So the question is,

How does stress arise or what is stress?

Stress is a feeling that we get in the body.

Right?

It is a tenseness in my body when I feel tensed.

When my body feels tensed,

When my mind feels tensed,

When my mind and body are in a tensed state.

So this happens when,

You know,

When our nervous system and specifically if I talk about the nervous system,

I will talk about the sympathetic autonomic nervous system,

The sympathetic part of the autonomic nervous system,

Which is our fight or flight response.

So when this fight or flight response is happening,

Our body is tensed.

You know,

Our body is giving energy to all those,

You know,

Our body is actually giving energy to all those parts which require to be tensed,

Which require to protect us.

So for example,

Let's say,

You know,

An animal is attacked in the wild.

For example,

There is an attack happening on a deer.

And this deer is,

You know,

Is attacked by some coyotes,

Let's say,

Or a tiger or whatever.

Now what's happening is that this deer,

The sympathetic autonomic nervous system of this deer is triggered.

The fight or flight response is triggered.

It is triggered because the deer has to save its life,

Right?

It has to save its life.

So what will happen is that the whole body will put energy to,

For example,

Our heart rate.

It will increase the heart rate.

It will make the muscles tense.

You know,

It will make our body tense so that we can run at that time,

So that the deer can run at that time or it can hide or something.

Or it can,

You know,

It doesn't fight,

It rarely fights.

But even,

You know,

Maybe prepare you to fight,

To fight,

It prepares us to fight as well.

So fight,

Flight or freeze maybe.

So this whole body is kind of putting that energy,

Our mind,

Our body,

Our soul,

Our spirit,

Everything,

All the energy is put into those parts of the body which can protect me,

Which can save me.

So this is when stress happens,

Right?

This is when our body experiences stress.

It is that tenseness in the body.

Now,

The problem here with human beings is that it is very different for,

You know,

It is very different for human beings,

The stress response and for animals.

And that difference is the key to understand because that difference is what causes suffering to human beings.

So,

You know,

Is stress good or bad?

Again,

We will see this because stress is,

You know,

It helps us.

This fight or flight response,

It helps us,

Right?

It is something good,

It protects us.

But when it is,

When it gets elongated,

When it happens more and more,

When it is triggered unnecessarily,

Then it becomes not good for us,

Right?

Because if my nervous system is triggered without any reason again and again,

Then all my energy is put into those parts of my body which will protect me.

And I am always in this protection mode.

I am always,

My guards are up,

I am always in a tensed mode.

This is what happens with human beings.

So it is not,

It is not the right thing.

Just think about this.

If you are,

If your car is switched on,

You know,

We need the car till the time we are driving the car.

But if your car is switched on all the time,

What will happen?

It will consume all the fuel,

Right?

It will burn out.

It will burn out all the fuel.

And this is what happens with us.

That because we are,

This sympathetic autonomic nervous system of ours is triggered again and again and again and it is in that constant triggering mode.

It burns out.

It burns out our body.

It causes us burn out and that's when we say,

Okay,

You know,

I feel burnt out right now.

I feel exhausted right now.

So this,

Now the difference is that the deer here is attacked for a while,

You know,

When a deer is attacked,

It is,

Its nervous system,

Its sympathetic nervous system is triggered.

And it will protect itself.

It will run.

But then when the attack is over,

It will go back to grazing,

You know,

It will go back to its normal life.

It's normally grazing.

But the difference between an animal and our stress response,

Especially when it comes to the modern day humans,

Is that for a deer,

It might be triggered for a few minutes till the attack is happening.

But for us,

It is triggered for years.

It is triggered for years.

And we keep triggering this part of our nervous system by our thoughts.

We keep triggering this part of our nervous system by our thoughts,

Constantly thinking about it.

So if an attack happened on us many years ago,

We can still think about it and we can relive the memory of that attack as if it's happening in real right now.

And I can trigger my nervous system right now.

And this is what happens when we are in the past,

Thinking about the past,

Thinking about that attack that happened many years ago.

And just by thinking about it and creating an experience,

We human beings actually are very visual.

We with our thoughts,

It's such a beautiful system in our body that with our thoughts,

We can create a whole experience as if it's happening really.

As if it's a very real experience that's happening.

So if that attack happened to me,

Maybe five years ago,

Let's say I experienced a separation or a divorce.

And that was an attack,

Right?

It is a stress response that I had at that time because my partner left me.

And because my partner left me,

I was threatened,

My safety was threatened,

My life was threatened.

How will I survive?

How will I live alone?

Or whether I will find a new relationship or not.

Or whether I will be financially supported or not.

Or whether I will be able to take care of my children or not.

Or whatever,

All those thoughts,

It's like an attack happening.

And now even today sitting here in this moment,

I can think about that my partner left me and I can replay that memory in my mind.

And it seems to be so real as if it's happening right now in this moment.

And I will replay that situation again and again and again.

And now because it seems to be so real as if it's happening right now,

I have triggered my sympathetic autonomic nervous system again.

My fight or flight response is triggered again and again and again.

Now when that happens,

When this nervous system is triggered again and again,

It releases cortisol,

You know,

Stress hormone in our body.

And when stress hormones in our body are released for longer durations,

Then it leads to disease,

Unnecessary hormones in our body.

You know,

If stress hormones are released in our body for longer durations unnecessarily,

What will happen?

There will be unnecessary amounts of cortisol in our body.

And it will lead to disease.

It will lead to anxiety.

You know,

Anxiety is when it is like unchecked stress.

When we don't work with our stress,

When we don't manage our stress.

It eventually leads to anxiety,

You know,

It becomes an automatic response.

And now in anxiety,

You don't even have to think about something.

You don't even have to remember that memory of your breakup or divorce.

And it will happen automatically.

You know,

Just someone would maybe talk about your ex-partner and suddenly that anxiety happens.

You know,

Your body starts reacting and you don't even know why it is happening.

So this is just one example that I am taking.

There can be a number of examples of potential attacks.

And it is not only about the past,

It can also be about the future.

The thing to understand here is that it is about fear.

The more fear I bring into my system,

The more stress and anxiety I will experience.

The more fear I bring into my system,

The more thoughts of fear will be generated.

The more emotions of fear will be generated.

And my nervous system will be triggered again and again.

Cortisol will be released again and again.

And I will always feel tensed.

I will not feel relaxed.

So fear leads to this stress and anxiety.

Fear doesn't let us relax and experience deep peace,

A deep sense of peace.

Now the problem with the world is that we have become attached to fear.

We have become so attached to fear.

Isn't it?

We are tuned to the news channels for example for hours,

Constantly looking at fear based news.

We wake up in the morning,

We read the newspaper or now we read news on mobile phones or watch it on television.

And suddenly I read this that there was a crime in my area or there was an attack in my area or this is happening.

These many people have died and wars are happening and pandemic is happening and this and that.

Now I have a kind of attachment to fear.

And if I am constantly looking at such things,

Constantly if my news television and news is on,

Then what's happening is I have an attachment to that.

I am attached to fear.

I am so scared that I always want to be hyper vigilant.

I am so scared that I always want to know that what's happening around me,

All those negative.

My bias is now towards the negative.

My bias is now towards those 1% of events that happen in the world instead of those 99% of the positive events that happen in the world which nobody reports.

Now I have created an illusion in my mind that this world is a dark place.

I have created an illusion in my mind that I am threatened all the time.

That there is crime all around me,

There are attacks all around me.

This is the perception we live in actually.

That there is just,

You know,

This is a dark place,

This is a dark world.

And trust me,

If you constantly watch news everyday,

Your perception of the world will be dark actually.

This world will seem to be a dark place actually.

Because that's what we are focusing on.

But the reality is,

If you look at the stats,

It's just maybe less than 1% of the events that happen in the world.

99%,

More than 99% of the times people are not attacking each other.

There is a lot of love in the world which we don't focus on.

There is a lot of happiness and joy in the world which we don't focus on.

There is so much nature and beauty in the world which we don't focus on.

There is so much to be grateful about.

But we don't focus on that.

So we are attached to fear.

We are attached to that 1% of the events happening in the world.

And what I am doing is,

Due to this constant influx of fear into my system,

My nervous system is triggered again and again and again.

How will I be able to relax?

How will I be able to experience deep sense of peace?

And then I try to find meditations to heal myself.

I try to do all those things.

Yes,

It will work and these are wonderful and meditations help.

But first of all,

I need to get away from that fear mindset.

I need to get away from this illusion.

Sometimes it's important to watch news when it is something big that happens.

But if I do this constantly,

I am programming my subconscious mind for fear.

So I need to get away from that.

I need to create a positive environment around me.

I need to create a positive environment not only around me but in my mind,

In my emotions.

And if I do that,

If I create an environment of love and positivity instead of fear,

Then you might not even need to do meditations.

And this is the reason when people go to nature for example,

When you for example go for your vacation,

You go to an island,

You go to the mountain,

You go to a beach somewhere and there you are totally relaxed.

Mostly you are totally relaxed if you are not with some family member who is constantly attacking you or fighting with you.

You are mostly relaxed.

The question is,

Why do we get so relaxed on vacations?

Why do we get so relaxed on vacations?

Why are we so relaxed on islands,

Mountains?

Why are we so relaxed on retreats?

Why are we so relaxed when we are away from this news and everything?

We are relaxed because we are not in an environment of this illusion of fear.

Now we are in nature and everything is fine.

Now we are not a part of that world in which we have created this illusion of fear.

Now you are away from your television set from that news.

Now you are also you have lessened the use of your smartphone.

And now you are focused on the reality which is the ocean.

Now you are focused on the reality which is the mountains,

Which are the trees,

Which are the plants,

Birds,

All the beauty flowers,

All the beauty in nature.

And when you are focused on that,

There is no way for you to get stressed.

Even if you try to be stressed,

It will be difficult for you to get stressed.

Because the reality,

The nature has brought you in total presence.

And this is the reason that when we live in cities,

Especially our nervous system,

When we live in crowded cities,

Our nervous system,

Our sympathetic,

Autonomic nervous system is triggered again and again and again.

Why?

Because I am constantly perceiving threats around me.

And now in the city there is a crime and now I am threatened.

And now a car passes by and I am scared whether this car will hit me or not.

Now there are so many people around me,

Walking all around me and I am scared whether I will be,

Someone will steal my stuff or someone might attack me.

And now I am going to the office and in my office my co-worker or my supervisor,

They are telling me that I am not a good employee or they are attacking me or they are passing some comments.

And now I have that perceived threat,

I am threatened all the time.

My nervous system is again triggered.

Although this person might not be attacking me physically,

But my job is threatened now because my supervisor just said that your work is not good.

So now I am with my partner in the house and now what happens is my partner says that he or she wants a break from the relationship and now suddenly my nervous system is triggered now.

So you see that when we live in crowded cities,

What happens?

There is so much constant movement all around me that I am always,

My nervous system is triggered again and again.

And just see what's happening.

Our eyes,

For example,

Our eyes also need relaxation.

But our eyes are constantly moving here and there.

I see the crowd,

I am focusing on this person and on this person and on this person.

Now that car passes by,

I am focusing on that.

And now there is a sound from behind,

I am focusing on that.

Just see how our attention keeps shifting.

Our eyes do not feel rested.

And most importantly our attention does not feel rested.

That's why we have attention problems now,

Focus problems.

Because in cities,

Now I am constantly hyper vigilant and I am focusing on this and that and this and that and all those movements that are happening all around me.

So can you see that how the stress and anxiety will come in,

Will be more when we live in crowded places.

But now let's say you are on that vacation,

Let's say you are on that retreat and let's say you are on an island and you are in the forest or you are on a mountain or you are on a beach.

Now what's happening is,

There is less crowd first of all.

And there is,

You are away from that news channel that 99% of the time shouts fear fear fear.

Be afraid be afraid be afraid.

You are away from that.

You are focused on reality now.

You are looking at the elements of nature now.

You are focused on the tree which is such a beautiful being standing still in peace.

Not stressed,

Not tensed.

You are listening to that bird which is sitting on the tree and which is chirping and the sound is so musical.

Such a musical sound as if this bird is singing such a beautiful song and telling you about love.

And you look at that beautiful flower which has such a beautiful color,

A color that you might not have seen before.

And it's as if that flower is presenting you love,

Giving you love.

And now you look at that bee that is sitting on the flower and it's as if the bee and the flower are making love to each other.

And then you get this beautiful smell of the flower.

Right?

And then you listen to the sound of the waves of the ocean and it relaxes you.

And maybe then you feel like taking a swim in the ocean and this ocean heals your body.

And this ocean is like a healer.

This water is like a healer which wants to heal you.

And then you take a dip in the ocean and it's as if it takes away all the stress from the body,

Totally relaxes you.

It heals you from deeply.

It takes away all that stress and anxiety.

Have you experienced that after taking a swim in the ocean?

Do you feel that your stress has melted?

I think this is for me it is one of the most healing exercises.

Whenever I feel some stress I go to the ocean,

I take a swim.

Takes away all the stress,

Takes away all the pressure,

All the tenseness,

Relaxes me deeply.

So this is what's happening in nature,

Isn't it?

We are connected to reality now.

We are not connected to that virtual illusory world which is constantly threatening me and showing me a very dark picture of the world.

Or stress of the traffic,

Absolutely.

So much traffic in cities,

Constant honking and waiting for hours in traffic and pollution and all that.

What kind of an environment am I creating for myself?

First of all,

Forget about the internal environment because that comes later.

And that's what is important.

Yes,

But first of all,

What is my physical environment?

That's the question.

Is my physical environment conducive?

Is my physical environment aligned with what I want to feel inside myself?

If there is stress in my external environment,

Then there is no way I can,

You know,

It will be so difficult for me to feel relaxed within myself.

Because constantly I am triggered again and again and again by this external environment.

If I am living in a chaotic environment,

If I am living with people who constantly trigger me,

Maybe I am having an abusive relationship in which there is constant conflict.

Or I am having friends that constantly trigger me.

Or I am having,

You know,

I am close to people all the time that pass comments or judge me and I am constantly triggered again and again.

So what is my environment like?

What are my relationships like?

Have I created a beautiful environment which will be aligned with my inner self?

Because what we create outside of ourselves in our environment,

That's what we are experiencing inside.

Right?

Why would we create an environment of stress if we want to feel peace inside ourselves?

Why would we put ourselves in such a situation?

It's like,

You know,

Putting ourselves in fire and thinking that we feel cold.

It's something like that.

You know,

It's like putting ourselves in such a dangerous situation and thinking that I will be relaxed here.

It's like sleeping on the street and thinking that I will be comfortable.

So,

You know,

That's why are we doing this?

I understand,

You know,

Stress and anxiety goes deeper and it's important to talk about the internal and ultimately it's about the internal aspects.

But the first basic step is,

Have I created an external environment which is aligned with what I want inside of myself?

And most importantly,

Do I have healthy boundaries in my relationships?

Because if my relationships,

If people in my life are constantly triggering my nervous system,

Then I will never feel that deep sense of peace.

If there are people who constantly judge me,

If there are people with whom I am constantly in conflict,

How will I ever find relaxation in my life?

How will I ever find peace in my life?

Right?

So first,

The first step is to create a healthy environment.

You know,

Take those radical decisions.

And I want to,

You know,

I want to share for me how important this is and how I have,

You know,

I decided to not be a part of that system anymore.

I was working in a job where,

You know,

My supervisor was after my life and he literally used to say that,

You know,

I'll make your life hell.

He literally used to say that.

And it was such a stressful job and I developed high blood pressure at that time.

And this was 10 years ago.

And at that time,

I decided that there is no point living like this.

You know,

I might be earning good money.

I might be rising in my organization.

But what is the point if my health is not there,

If I'm not relaxed,

If I don't feel happy from within,

If I'm not,

You know,

At peace,

Then what's the point of earning a lot of money?

What will I do with this money?

What will I do with this money?

What is the point of all this,

You know,

Rising in the organization and,

You know,

Getting that high post?

What's the point of that?

So I decided to leave my job and we will have to take radical decisions if we really want to experience peace,

Happiness,

And if we want to heal ourselves and if we want to have a healthy life,

A joyful life,

A peaceful life.

We will have to take some radical decisions.

If there is,

You know,

If there is a job,

A relationship or something like that,

A place,

You know,

A city,

A crowded city or whatever it is,

Something like that,

Which triggers you,

Which affects your health.

I would say it's so important to take a radical step and to prioritize your healing,

To prioritize your health,

To prioritize your happiness,

To prioritize your peace over all these things.

What's the use of all these things?

You know,

What is the point of having all those things if internally I'm not happy,

Joyful?

If internally I'm not at peace?

What's the point of having all these things if I cannot find peace,

If I cannot find happiness?

What will be the point of,

You know,

Of having all luxuries,

All money,

All those relationships in my life if I'm not healthy,

If I'm not healed?

If I'm not feeling that sense of peace and calm,

If I'm having stress and anxiety or depression or whatever it is,

What is the point?

So I would say it's important to take radical decisions.

You know,

I took that radical decision of quitting my job and then eventually getting into meditation.

Yes,

It was challenging,

But in the long run,

You know,

It was the best decision of my life and I'm so glad.

And then I decided to move out of a relationship in which there was so much conflict.

I took that radical decision.

And then I decided to leave that city,

That space in that country,

You know,

Where I was experiencing a lot of stress.

So,

You know,

I come from New Delhi.

It's a wonderful place.

But again,

So much pollution,

So much crowd,

So much noise.

And I decided to move to Canada eventually so that I can experience.

I was craving for this peace and this inner sense of healing.

So I decided to move.

And that was again a radical step to leave your country and to move somewhere else.

So what?

You know,

And also not only that,

But drawing boundaries in relationships to let go eventually or to draw healthy boundaries with those people who constantly trigger me.

So we will have to take some radical steps if we really want to heal ourselves.

You know,

If we want peace,

If we want inner happiness,

If we want joy,

If we want relaxation and if we have stress and anxiety,

And if we are still in that environment,

Which constantly triggers me,

Be it my job,

Be it that city,

Be it that relationship,

Whatever that is,

Then I don't think we can go further in our healing.

Then there is no point because,

You know,

I have not created an environment first.

There is no point then.

Because I have to first take the basic steps of creating a healthy environment,

Right?

So,

For example,

When you go for,

Let's say,

When you go to sleep,

What do you do?

You create an environment first,

Right?

When you go to sleep,

You make a bed,

You clean your bed,

You clean your room,

You don't want your room to be messy.

You create a safe,

A healthy,

A peaceful,

A relaxed,

Organized environment for your sleep.

And then you go to sleep and then your sleep is relaxed,

Right?

But just imagine if your sleep environment is messy.

Just imagine if there are insects,

You know,

In your bed.

Just imagine if there is a lot of mess in your room.

Or just imagine that if there are people running here and there in your room or whatever it is,

Will you be able to sleep properly?

It will be very difficult actually.

So,

The first step before I move towards my inner healing,

The first step for me is to create a healthy environment.

You know,

To create that environment that will be aligned with my inner healing.

And then maybe think of moving on to,

You know,

Moving on to healing and doing those steps of healing which will eventually heal my stress and anxiety.

So,

Yes,

Healing stress and anxiety is an internal phenomenon.

I agree to that.

You know,

And ultimately that's what it is about.

But the first basic step is for me to create an environment that will facilitate that inner healing.

But if my environment is not aligned with that,

Then it will be a really challenging thing to do that.

Thank you for sharing all that.

Wonderful Mel.

High five.

How can you tell when you are making a positive choice for yourself versus running away?

So,

The question is what do I mean by running away?

If I have to run away for my healing,

I don't see anything wrong in that.

It's important.

In fact,

It's important to run away then.

Run away from an abusive relationship.

Run away from a job that doesn't serve you anymore,

That doesn't nurture your soul.

Run away from that place which is constantly triggering your nervous system,

Which is making you unhealthy.

Running away is good.

Run away.

I would say run away.

It is good.

It is a good thing to do.

Because if you are not healed,

How will you help others?

That is the question.

If I am not healed,

If I am not at peace,

How will I serve others?

For me to serve others,

First I have to heal myself,

Isn't it?

So,

Running away is good.

I would say run away.

Thank you so much,

Rishael.

Thank you so much for the loving comment.

Run and don't look back.

Yes.

Wonderful.

So,

As I said,

This is just an introduction of what we are going to do.

Because,

As I said,

Before we go deeper into our healing,

Healing stress and anxiety,

This is the very first basic step to do.

It's to create an environment.

And once you create an environment,

Then we go deeper and start doing those deeper practices of healing stress and anxiety.

So,

I didn't talk about those deeper practices today because I wanted that first,

We have to create this environment.

Thank you so much.

And thank you so much for being here.

I hope you found value in today's session.

And I hope that you will create that environment for yourself which will help with your healing.

So,

First step,

Create the environment outside.

Get out of that job that doesn't nurture your soul.

Get out of that or maybe draw boundaries in that relationship which is abusive or in which there is a lot of conflict.

Create that outer environment for you which is peaceful and then it will facilitate your inner healing.

So,

This is the first step.

Thank you so much.

Lots of love.

Take care.

And I will see you soon.

Namaste.

Reviews

Very insightful and appreciative of the analogies 🙏🏽

Welcomed talk

Saqib ✨ thank you for this reminder. i am under so much stress with my husband’s illness and sometimes i escape into tv, books or sm. i have a beautiful garden. i hope this talk reminds to go out in my yard and simply connect with a tree or a flower. i forget how simple these actions really are ✨🌻✨🦋✨

Saqib’s voice is the index to the content of his soul, which he shares generously, with love and wisdom. He is insightful yet practical.

Thank you 🙏🏼 I love ❤️ your talks and insight on life situations They really resonate with me. I appreciate you and your sharing with us on IT

Grateful for this very wise and helpful talk. It has given me courage to change my environment and to find peace in my life 🙏♥️

Such a good message. Your story of leaving your job and moving to Canada is inspirational. You are a great example of what you teach. Thank you, Saqib. ❤️