Why Do I Struggle In Relationships

Here I speak about relationships, and how, and why we may struggle while connecting to others. I also explain and describe our real nature, through a simple example, which helps us elevating above any feeling of resistance and of separation.

Transcript

Today I want to share with you something about relationships.

We call relationships to all the connections between people.

Because we are social beings,

We connect to each other.

We feel the nature of each relation.

And therefore,

We give different names to different people we relate to,

Like friends,

Partners,

Lovers,

Neighbors,

Colleagues,

Or even strangers.

All this happens at a superficial level,

Where we respond according to those labels.

We make choices in what comes to relationships.

We choose the way we relate to others.

And we also choose whether we relate to them or not.

At a deeper level,

Those choices are only a reflection of ourselves.

And it's not going to dictate by itself the nature of any relationship.

So no matter how much I want to connect to someone,

Or have a certain relationship with a specific person,

That particular relationship won't take place unless there is an equal exchange of energy.

And those energies have to attract each other in order to happen.

Relationships between two people,

For example,

Start when they are ready to cross each other to experience and eventually evolve together.

If people connect and let it last,

It probably means that somehow that relationship is still serving both sides for different conscious or unconscious reasons.

It's all about vibration.

When we find someone who,

For instance,

Become our lover,

And with who we feel our needs and wishes fulfilled,

We frequently think that we found the right person,

The woman or the man of our dreams.

And in this particular moment in time,

That can really somehow feel true to us.

But if we watch this as a whole,

And from a considerable distance,

We see that life is a constant change,

And our dreams and wishes are not an exception.

Today I can have a particular desire,

And tomorrow I may have a completely different one.

Today I feel happy in a relationship,

And tomorrow I feel miserable.

Leaving any relationship according to our temporary excitement only drives us to temporary delusion,

Which quickly leads us to temporary disappointment.

And we sometimes get to a point where relationships are so important to us that we allow them to coordinate our state of life.

We give the others the power to decide how we feel,

Because we believe we need them.

Without them,

We think we are not enough as individuals.

So we create this expectation that our fullness comes from others.

We then live in a world of uncontrollable and troubled emotions.

And how do we explain this?

So let's see ourselves as a whole.

Imagining the whole is a big sun,

For example.

Each of us can be a sunbeam.

A sunbeam for itself contains the nature of the sun,

And it's always part of it,

And it's complete just as it is.

However,

If a sunbeam gets apart from all the other structures of the sun,

It will feel lost,

Not knowing their nature anymore and wishing to die.

But have we ever actually seen any sunbeam separating from the rest of the sun?

No.

The sun is always there as a whole,

Reaching the entire planet.

The same happens to us.

We may feel disconnected to the creator,

Source,

The universe,

God,

Or any other name we want to call the entity that created us and this world,

But that's all in our imagination because we can never get apart from our true nature what we really are.

This explains how bad and desperate we may feel when we apparently disconnect to someone.

And this apparent disconnection can be applied to any struggle in any kind of relationship.

It doesn't have to be an actual separation.

It can be,

For example,

Just a simple disagreement.

In any case,

We somehow feel the energy of some sort of separation,

But in fact,

We never really disconnect.

If we feel bad about it,

It's because we are resisting it,

Not accepting ourselves or the others for our or their natural way of being.

Along my journey,

I felt very anxious every time an intimate relationship ended or was about to end,

Whether it was my decision or not.

I actually remember a particular moment of my life in which someone decided to separate from me and that relationship was only beginning,

Really,

Really beginning.

It wasn't even important at all.

And yet I felt lost and sad.

I thought I wasn't good enough and I made it harder by thinking that nobody appreciated me.

So suddenly the world seemed a terrible place for me to live in.

And that was,

Of course,

An illusion.

It only showed two sunbeams not serving each other anymore for their own evolution purposes and therefore switching their focus of attention.

It was only a matter of focus.

And even if we think this may be a unilateral decision,

When the energy shift already took place,

It inevitably affects both sides.

And that is when I asked myself,

Why would I want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me?

So looking back,

I can see now how confused I was.

But at the moment it seemed very real and suitable.

I got carried away by negative thoughts,

That's for sure.

And I didn't even realize how much I was actually benefiting from that separation because I was focused on the negative instead of the benefits,

Maintaining relationships through negativity and lack of alignment will only takes us to suffering.

Sooner or later we will be struggling,

Feeling frustrated,

Criticizing,

Blaming,

And actually trying to fix the other or the others,

Or even ourselves in order to fit in some sort of ideal.

It's all in our minds.

We can actually start begging for external validation,

But no matter what happens,

What we feel is always about us.

If we want to be at peace with others,

First we have to be at peace with ourselves.

We have to have the wisdom to understand that we can choose and create our own lives.

Therefore we can decide what story we want to tell about ourselves and the perception we have of it.

I prefer to focus on what I truly want and in what really serves me.

And then my happiness won't no longer depend on others because I know that at any time I have the power to change my reality.

Also if I become conscious about this,

I will finally be able to fully accept myself in others and then I start having respectful,

Tender,

And evolutionary relationships in which I now connect at the soul level,

Not a superficial one.

And if I focus on that,

I can see underneath the appearance of things and I am able to feel and identify how low or high my frequency is and also I can replace all kinds of unpleasant thoughts that are stepping forward.

Despite of relating to others,

We live through our own perception.

I live through my own perception.

It's like having a unique sight filter,

So in the end the only being with who I constantly connect with is actually me.

Reviews

11:20pm 5/29/22
Am l happy in my relationship? No and I’m trying to understand why. For years my relationship seemed to be perfect for me and my other. We were very happy. Then a few years ago I noticed a change in my other.
Something was different in her.
Our relationship became worse and worse to the point that I wanted to away from her as much as possible. The true love we had was gone. So I moved to a new location 30 miles away. I still live here today. Even with family counseling during the past years nothing has helped.
I listened to this lecture several times today. Tonight I could not fall asleep thinking of how and why ourelationship changed.
I wanted an explanation so I could understand. My mind was racing with different thoughts.
Then unexpected I had a message, not a thought but a powerful message. I have experienced this type of message before in my life.
My message was…. “ It will never be as it once was “.
I didn’t move for several minutes and then I got up and came outside for the cool air of the night to calm my senses down. Then I listened to your words again began writing what I wrote here. I think it helped to hear your words and read my thoughts and what I experienced tonight.
I have to be myself, who I am in my heart. To accept that the relationship I’m involved has failed and will never again be as it once was.
Thank you Sangeet for this lecture. It has helped to let me understand questions I was silently seeking.
Blessings light and appreciation to you. 🙏🙏🙏❤️💐

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