Why Do Parents Worry So Much About Their Children?

Yogi, mystic and visionary, Sadhguru is a spiritual master with a difference. Sadhguru answers a nine-year-old girl’s question on why parents worry and become so tense about their children’s future. This is a thought provoking reflection that gives us insight into our own reality, as well as providing perspective on a different, cultural way of life.
#ChildrensDay

Transcript

People are not stressed because they have children.

This is not because of marriage,

This is not because of B-School,

This is not because of employment.

So don't blame yourself for anybody's suffering.

They're like that,

They're practiced.

Many have become veterans in suffering.

Well,

You should have this kind of freedom,

Isn't it so?

Huh?

Even if I go to hell,

I will live well.

Actually many parents in India,

They have tension about their child about fees,

One lakh,

Two lakh,

How shall I pay this?

Then I'll become a beggar,

What shall I do?

Hey,

If you were a beggar,

There would be no problem with one lakh,

Two lakh.

Then they have a peaceful life,

Then the parent says to the child,

I have a very beautiful life,

Enjoyment.

Then after that we think that how do they live happily because they have these many tensions about the child,

That what do they do,

How will they fall,

Why will they kick someone and all that.

Then how do they still have a peaceful life,

The parents?

Yes,

Yes,

Go on.

How do they still have enjoyment in their life,

By having the tension still for the kid?

Some parents manage to forget about their children for some time.

That gives them the respite.

You are something.

What's your name?

Tanjana.

Tanjana?

Sanjana,

I want you to observe,

Not just your parents,

Just observe people around you.

Just watch them carefully.

Because this is all I did in my life when I was your age,

Simply observing everything,

Not saying a word about it.

If you observe people,

You will see,

Today we are creating a world,

Toddler means they have,

You know,

The napkin problems.

Adolescent means they have puberty problems.

Middle-aged means it's a crisis.

Old age,

Terrible.

Tell me one stage of life that people are enjoying.

Those who are poor,

Suffering because they are poor.

Those who are rich,

They are suffering the taxes.

Those who are not educated,

They are suffering because they are not educated.

Put them to school,

Enormous suffering.

That's what they're saying,

Tension in the B-school.

And those who are not married,

They're suffering.

Get them married.

See,

I did not say anything.

They're saying it.

No children,

They're suffering.

Give them children,

Constant suffering,

Which you are saying.

Tell me one damn thing that people are not suffering.

Everything.

So somebody comes out with a philosophy,

Life is suffering.

So somebody comes up with a solution.

It's all right to suffer.

If you suffer a lot here,

You will go to another place where everything is fantastic.

You heard of heaven?

Not been there,

Right?

Heaven.

Heaven is the most fantastic place.

The reason why we suffer is there everything is fantastic.

But I'm asking,

Do you have any proof that you are not already in heaven and messing it up?

Hello?

Do you have any proof that you are not already in heaven and making a mess out of it?

Just go out and see.

I think it feels like heaven,

The B-school.

Maybe me,

You making a mess out of it.

Look at this planet from outside the solar system,

Look at this planet,

All the other planets and planet earth.

Does it look like heaven?

So you already landed on heaven and making an absolute mess about it and you want to go to another heaven now because you made a mess out of this.

So people are not stressed because they have children.

They don't have children.

They're continuously miserable.

Children came little bit spurts of joy,

Rest is only crying about it.

So this is not because of children,

This is not because of marriage,

This is not because of B-school,

This is not because of employment.

This is simply because human beings have not figured how to handle themselves,

That's all.

Wherever they put them,

Something,

You give them what you want,

Make them the king,

They're miserable there also.

Yes?

Yes or no?

People have become… risen into very high positions,

Still miserable or no?

So this is not because of any situation,

Definitely not because of a wonderful girl like you.

No,

They haven't figured because right from the day they went to kindergarten,

They were focused who is first,

Who is second,

Who is first,

Who is second.

Yesterday I was at my school.

After forty-five years I went back to my school.

How does it feel?

How do you think?

So I went there and I was just telling them my experience of school.

When I went to school,

You know this monthly marks card,

When this marks card comes,

When the teacher gives it to them,

Some look at it and they're strutting around because they are first,

Second,

Whatever.

Some are sitting in one corner and crying because they are not happy with the numbers that they got.

I never opened the marks card in my entire school.

When they gave it to me,

I took it and gave it to my father.

We blew,

Whew.

I couldn't understand why just this card.

I never opened it and saw because I thought this is a transaction between my teacher and him.

I had no interest in it whatsoever.

So I never bothered but I always saw it.

My father is a well-educated,

Intelligent man but it disturbed him,

For three days he blew like a volcano.

Looking at this yellow card,

They always give a yellow colored card.

Still like that?

So I was wondering three days volcanic experience he's having.

Why I'm saying this is we have set these kind of things.

We can't change the entire system tomorrow morning but we can change ourselves how we handle this,

Isn't it?

Why is it so important that you have to be ahead of somebody?

Why?

Why is it so important?

Is it not important your life should be beautiful?

You must be joyful,

You must be wonderful,

You must explore your full potential.

Is this important or you want to be better than somebody sitting next to you?

Well,

If what's sitting next to you is a piece of dung,

You will be a little better dung.

Yes?

That's not how life should end up.

So don't blame yourself for anybody's suffering.

They're like that,

They're practiced,

You know.

Many have become veterans in suffering because they're acclimatizing themselves to go to hell,

Acclimatization process.

They want to make themselves such a suffering here,

Even if you drop them in hell,

It'll feel wonderful.

You never blame yourself for somebody's misery,

Okay?

It's all right.

What to do?

It's individual choice.

Hmm?

Yes or no?

Outside people,

What can we do?

What can I do to you?

I can create a easy situation or a difficult situation for you.

Suffering is your business,

Isn't it?

Yes or no?

Suffering is your business.

Either you can be a challenging child for your parents,

I wish you will be,

Because otherwise they will become like.

.

.

You must be a little challenging for them.

So whether they enjoy the challenge or suffer,

The challenge is left to them.

Am I.

.

.

Okay?

Because what I see is,

It doesn't matter how many arrangements you make,

Those who suffer anyway suffer,

Isn't it?

Just see the western countries as an example.

What everybody is dreaming of or what even people don't dare to dream here,

An average American citizen has.

You think they're all bursting with joy?

All the arrangements have been made.

You think they're bursting in joy?

No misery.

Forty-two percent of population over forty-five is on,

You know,

Psychiatric medication.

So this is not joy for sure.

Even mental health is not being managed.

Because just making external arrangements is not going to fix this life.

It's very,

Very important that you make inner arrangements that even if they send you to hell,

You will go joyfully.

You heard of Gautama,

The Buddha?

You heard of Buddha?

When everybody was talking about going to heaven,

Gautama said,

What will I go and do in heaven?

Because you say everything is wonderful there.

What will I do there?

Let me go to hell.

Because you say everybody is suffering there,

Let me go and do something because anyway I cannot suffer.

I made myself like this,

I cannot suffer,

So let me go to hell.

Even now the Buddhist texts talk about Buddha being in the lower world.

Well,

You should have this kind of freedom,

Isn't it so?

Hmm?

Even if I go to hell,

I will live well.

Nobody has to send me to heaven.

Reviews

More fantastic wisdom! Thank you 🙏

My absolute favorite lesson

Interesting talk. Thank you🙏❤️ life is a gift, enjoy each day. 🌼🎆

I wish I had this guys inner voice in my head 24/7 instead of my own which sounds like my mother’s:)

Incredible. Thank you.

Heaven on Earth...love it!

This talk just changed my life! I will come back to it! Deep gratitute for sharing your wisdom! 🙏

Beautiful insight. Thank you

I enjoyed this talk very much.

Always spot on. I always listen to the intention behind what he says without expectation and I’m always deeply moved and encouraged. To have such a life condition that you can make hell your own heaven. Marvelous and wise!

I call Sadhguru "The Five." Isn't it?

Wonderful, wise words, Thank You 🙏!

Makes complete sense. Putting this mindset to practice is my goal!