Questioner 1 Sir Guru,
When I am into the height of my emotions,
Surrender seems to be the nearest sweetest thing and possible.
When so many other things go for me,
It goes out of my vision.
Can I consciously do the Saranagati?
Hmm?
Don't try to surrender because what will you surrender?
What is it that you're going to surrender?
If you bend down,
That is not surrender,
That's good exercise.
If you declare,
I have surrendered,
That's a horrible ego.
So how will you surrender?
What will you surrender?
What have you got to surrender,
First of all?
It is out of a certain realization that surrender happens.
It's when you see that… See these words are very… can be very misleading because you've always been taught self-worth,
Self-esteem,
Confidence.
Isn't it?
These are the valuable things to make your life.
Surrender is against all these things.
Only when you're worthless,
You can surrender,
Please see.
If you have self-worth,
Self-esteem,
Confidence,
How to surrender?
But can you live without confidence?
Can you live without self-esteem or some sense of self-worth?
Right now,
No.
See,
I have no sense of self-esteem or self-worth.
That's why any moment I'm willing to… if necessary,
Next moment I'm willing to go because I don't think this is worth anything.
Personally,
I don't think this is worth anything,
Keeping this on.
But because it's… it seems to be useful for many lives around us,
We keep this going.
But there is no self-worth because the sense of self itself is gone,
So where is the worth?
Self is not worth anything.
And that which is not worth anything,
If you add esteem,
That's lots of trouble.
And because of this esteem,
This worthless thing,
If it becomes confident,
That's real trouble.
But for the sake of survival,
Because people believed… people only believed,
It's not true.
People believed unless you believe in yourself,
You cannot survive,
It's not true.
It's not true in an essential way.
But people believe that and it's become true for them because whatever you believe,
If you add sufficient focus and emotion to it,
It becomes real,
You know?
It becomes very real.
All kinds of nonsensical belief systems around the world have become absolutely real for lots of people,
Not for a small number of people,
For a vast majority of population,
It's become real.
They believe it and it is so.
So because of belief,
These things have become real.
But whatever you believe and whatever you empower with your thoughts and your emotions,
Has no existential basis.
When you talk surrender,
You're talking about passing.
Passing from the limitations of one dimension to another.
You knocked your head on the wall sufficiently,
Now you understand that unless you become like thin air,
You will not pass.
When you have realized this,
That in your present form you will never pass,
When you realize this… See,
Suppose you're in present and the doors are thick and nothing happens,
You can't go.
There is a gutter,
Filthy gutter.
If you crawl through this filth,
You can get out to freedom.
Will you choose to crawl through the filth or no?
You will,
Right?
Yes?
If that's the route to freedom,
Through the most horrible filth you will crawl.
It will go into your nostrils and your mouth and everywhere,
But it doesn't matter.
It leads you to freedom,
So you will crawl through filth.
That's surrender.
That's surrender because you have realized you can't cross the prison wall standing.
That is why you're crawling.
So surrender is a certain realization that you realize in your present form you cannot pass the gate.
So you find a more intelligent way to pass.
That will not come by cultivation,
That will come only by a certain realization,
Either out of your intelligence or because life has ground you sufficiently,
Or that you're insane enough to fall in love in an unbridled way,
Not in a conditional way,
Not in a sensible way,
Not in a nice way,
In an insane way.
Insane,
Like a Ramakrishna or a Mirabai,
A Raka Mahadevi,
There have been any number,
These are the known names,
There have been any number of them,
Were insane,
They're not sane.
They're not nice,
Not at all nice,
I want you to know.
But they're fantastic,
That which is fantastic need not be nice.
Usually it's not nice.
