Unique Parenting Style

Sadhguru gives us a rare glimpse into his role as a father, and how his daughter Radhe grew up while Sadhguru was building Isha Foundation from scratch. Yogi, mystic and visionary, Sadhguru is a spiritual master with a difference. An arresting blend of profundity and pragmatism, his life and work serves as a reminder that yoga is a contemporary science, vitally relevant to our times.

Transcript

I had enough on my hands,

So I never intended or thought we should have a child of our own.

But my wife said at least one.

I said,

Okay,

One,

Only one.

So that happened and from the age of… when she was an infant,

Three,

Three-and-a-half months of age,

I drove across South India with her strapped to my front seat of the car,

Me driving alone,

Just my one hand here,

One hand at steering wheel.

This was the time we were building Isha Foundation,

So I traveled extensively and she was traveling with me when she was three-and-a-half months old infant.

So first four years,

She grew up in the car with me and in many people's homes.

So she met thousands of people and she learned how to become a part of any home anywhere,

Whether it's a… whether it's the most affluent home in the world or,

You know,

A tribal home where just about anywhere I stayed,

I made sure that she was exposed to everything.

I didn't want her to develop prejudices or privileges of,

You know,

Choices of where to be and where not to be.

And by the time she was three years of age,

She at least knew a thousand people by name.

She… which… whom she considered her friends,

Definitely not her age,

All grown-up people.

So the tremendous exposure to people and I thought I won't send her to school because I never liked to go to school when I was young.

So I thought why should I put her through something?

And the only thing I could not provide her is children of her own age.

So I put her to a school which is not so competitive,

Not so cushy.

So I looked for a school which was started by J.

Krishnamurthy and I put her there so that it's easy and I said,

Further you go easy on my girl because I don't want… I'm not going to report… look at her report card.

I'm not going to ask which rank you are.

I'm not going to ask what are you going to become.

So don't have to bother about her marks,

Her academics.

If she plays,

If she eats well,

I'm happy,

She's growing up,

She must eat well.

If she plays well,

If she laughs,

If she sings,

If she dances,

I'm fine.

I'm not concerned about this because when I was in school,

Every test I was very consistent.

I always got six zeros because I never wrote a word on any page.

If they insisted,

I wrote my name,

Otherwise I wouldn't write.

When the final exam came,

I only worked for thirty-five and I always got thirty-five,

Thirty-six,

I just calculated.

I've never sat in an examination hall beyond thirty minutes.

First bell,

I'm always out.

And I just calculated for what it takes to move on with my friends to the next class and that's all I did.

Why I'm saying this is,

This whole thing I used to watch as a child,

When the report card came every month,

Some children are crying in the classroom because they've got not the marks that their tiger parents want and some are strutting around because they are first or second or whatever.

I… whenever the teacher gave me the card,

This report thing,

I just took it and gave it to my father.

I never,

Ever opened and saw because I thought this is a transaction between the teacher and the… my father,

I don't want to intrude and see what is going on there.

So I particularly requested the principal of the school,

Don't worry about my girl's education.

I just want her to be with children of her age group.

She eats well,

Just make sure she eats well,

That's my only concern.

She eats well,

She's playing,

She's laughing,

She's jumping and dancing,

I'm fine with this.

So when she came… when she became fifteen and cleared her tenth standard,

I took her out of formal education and because it was her mother's dream and the girl also was very interested,

I put her into dancing and she went into Bharatanatyam and now she is one of the upcoming artists in the country.

So I never treated her as a child,

First thing.

From the age of two,

When the… from the time she started speaking,

I always treated her as an equal as an adult.

I put whatever manage… you know,

We're building a foundation,

It's run by volunteers.

Volunteers means we're doing variety of work,

We're running businesses,

We're running major projects and activity across the globe.

None of them,

Except a few who teach,

None of them are trained for their job,

Okay?

Because I can't… I can't wait and pick somebody from IIT or IIM or something.

Those who get rejected by all of you,

Probably they come to me.

Whoever comes,

I take them and put them into this job,

That job,

All kinds of jobs.

So what can be done with one word?

I have to speak one hundred words to make them understand,

For them to stay on the job,

To remain committed,

To keep it going.

And then because they're volunteers,

You can't fire them.

Whatever the… you can't fire them for inefficiency or this or that.

So whatever problems in the organization,

In the management,

In individual people's problems,

Adult problems,

All kinds,

I always… once in a way I gave her one of the problems and said,

What is it?

She used to come out with incredible… her own childish… childlike solutions,

Sometimes perfect solutions,

Sometimes something wacky.

Around twelve,

Thirteen years of age,

She came home one day and she was disturbed about something that she saw,

Something that happened at school.

And then she said,

You're teaching everybody so many things,

You're not teaching me anything.

I said,

See,

I'm not known to teach anything unsolicited.

Here you have come,

Now sit down.

Said,

This is all you need to know,

You never look up to anybody.

I was surprising that,

What about you?

I said,

Especially me,

Because the value of who I am is only if you see me the way I am.

If you look up to me,

You will nail me to the wall and maybe smoke me lighter incense or put a mala around me and forget about me.

This is not going to change your life in any way.

You must just see me the way I am.

You must see me just for what I am,

Then I'm of immense value to you.

But if you look up to me,

You will miss it.

So never look up to anybody,

Never look down on anybody.

If you do this one thing,

You will see everything just the way it is.

Only if you see things the way they are,

You can navigate effortlessly.

Isn't it so?

This is so with life also.

Only if you see everything just the way it is,

You can navigate through life effortlessly.

This is all the ability you need to give to your child.

So I always treated as an adult,

Never trying to place myself above her.

This is the fundamental management I did,

That she need not look up to anybody,

Not look down to anybody,

Just look at level at everything the way it is.

Just learning to see life just the way it is.

Looking up is a lie,

Looking down is a lie.

Looking up is coming from a certain prejudice,

Looking down is coming from a certain prejudice.

Being able to treat every life,

Everything,

Whatever it is,

This is our culture,

I want you to understand.

It doesn't matter if a paper,

Just a sheet of paper,

When we were growing up,

One paper,

You cannot step on it.

Yes?

Yes or no,

Many of you have grown up like this in your homes.

Just a printed paper,

It's nothing,

Maybe the news is rubbish.

But you're not supposed to step on it because you educate yourself through that.

If you want to step on the earth,

You bow down to it.

You don't look up to something or look down to something.

What you do to your God,

You do to everything.

This not talking about in any cultural or religious way,

Simply I brought it forth in a life and I think it's worked out wonderfully well for her.

Reviews

Mindblowing as always 🙏🏻🧡

My son is now 24 and thriving, employed as a biochemist @ a job he loves. He travels to Scandinavia, Spain etceteras, swims & paddle boards in lakes, plays music endlessly and has e-lation-ships that are life long with people of ALL ages. I am forever grateful for Sadhguru’s parenting suggestions, the life changing AND life-serving support I needed when folks, including his father, my parents, brother and friends who questioned my approach of life long learning with life long JOYfulness. www.gratefulness.org, ahimsa

This was just what I needed today.

Simply living! Thank you

Thank-you !!! Very great advice.