How To Handle A Toxic Relationship?

Sadhguru responds to a question about dealing with people who are abusive and looks at the best thing one can do for such people – transform them.
Considered among India’s 50 most influential people, Sadhguru is a yogi, mystic, bestselling author, and poet. Absolute clarity of perception places him in a unique space, not only in matters spiritual but in business, environmental, and international affairs, and opens a new door on all that he touches.

Transcript

Namaskaram Sadhguru. How do I deal with people who are constantly abusive and are exuding negative energy? Now leave all this negative energy and all this stuff, Okay? Don't get into all that nonsense. Somebody is negative in their attitudes. If you have a choice, Don't deal with them. But you are married to them or they happen to be your children or they happen to be somebody else that you can't get rid of them. If it is so, Then let's see if you can transform them. If you cannot, Give them to me. Or if nothing works, You insulate yourself against them. That's all. There is no other way. How? Don't react to anything that they do. Unless they are getting physically abusive, If they are getting physically abusive, You leave. There is no point. See, Outside if you have a little bit of trees around you, Insects are screaming through the night. Do you try to decipher what they are saying? They may be cursing the hell out of you. You don't decipher all that, Isn't it? One hundred insects are screaming whole night. You don't try to decipher what they are saying, Isn't it? You just listen. You get used to that and you ignore that. You do just the same. They are talking lots of nonsense. Why are you giving meaning to their words? They are only making sounds, Isn't it? Yes? Just stop understanding the language for some time. Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, They are doing. You know, Somebody is blabbering, It looks funny and nice. It's okay. You did everything possible and there is nothing you can do about this person. But still for some reason, For social, Economic and other kinds of reasons, You are stuck. If it is so, Just listen to the sounds of their language. Don't attach any meaning to the words that they are saying because most people anyway don't know what they are talking. Isn't it? Isn't it so? If they knew what they were talking, They would be talking sense. People are talking senselessly because they don't know what they are talking. So you just leave them there. Best thing is try to transform them. You owe that to people around you. If you cannot, Try to hand them over to me. If you cannot, If you don't want to be with them, Try to go away. You cannot just treat them like the insects, Compassionately, But not attaching too much importance to what they are saying or not attaching any importance to what they are saying, That's all. If they are going to bite you, Then you know what to do with the insect, Don't you? Yes? The insect is sitting outside on the tree and screaming, It's okay. If he comes and sits on your face and bites you, You know what to do, Isn't it?

Reviews

Great perspective, thank you 🙏

Incredible…thank you

Excellent & to the point

Insightful! Much appreciated for realistic and down to earth approaches discussed. www.gratefulness.org, ahimsa