Don't make your children's lives miserable by thinking you have to make them achieve things that you did not.
You are not a boss,
You don't own them.
Your child needs a friend,
Somebody who reaches out,
Somebody who plays with them.
The whole position of being a parent has significantly changed in the last 25 years.
Probably when I was growing up,
Not upon me,
But generally as a generation,
Parents had 60 to 70 percent influence,
School and outside exposure about 30 percent.
Because you hardly met anybody except your school friends and some family friends,
That's about it.
Were not exposed like that,
Except what you read and what you may see somewhere in a movie theater,
There was no any video running anywhere,
All right,
It's a new thing.
But that equation has reversed.
Today your influence on the child is probably 25-30 percent max.
They're being influenced by all kinds of creatures from all over the place.
What kind they are,
What is their purpose,
You don't know.
School teachers have hardly any influence,
Living friends and neighbors have hardly any influence,
Somebody else somewhere has a massive influence on them.
So considering that,
If you,
Because of all the people in the world,
Being a mother,
We will assume that you have the best interest of your child in your heart.
So when that is the case,
Your influence should be maximum.
But that will not happen the moment you think I am a parent.
Because parent is a bloody boss that nobody likes.
If your child wants to share something,
They'll go and share with their friends.
Why?
Because they think their friends are sensible,
Parents are little,
You know,
They don't understand anything,
They are from another world.
Don't do that.
Your child needs a friend,
He doesn't need a boss.
Hello?
They don't need a boss,
They need a friend,
Somebody who reaches out,
Somebody who plays with them,
Who is as enthusiastic about life as them.
Oh,
I am a parent,
Most parents are carrying,
Like they're carrying a heavy burden,
My parents,
My children,
This will happen,
Their career,
What will happen,
Maybe thirty-two,
Thirty-three years ago.
This is one of the first programs I am teaching Inner Engineering program in Chennai.
Then one man,
Early morning class,
He is very worried about his daughter's future and there is an examination coming and that girl is not focusing on her studies,
He is so worried what will happen to her future,
Everything.
I looked at this guy,
He looks quite young,
How old would he be?
He is daughter.
I asked him,
How old is your girl?
He says,
Four years.
I said,
You bloody idiot,
You don't deserve to have a child.
Four-year-old girl,
You're worried about her future,
She's not doing her homework,
She's not focusing on her education,
She's not learning mathematics properly,
She's getting only ninety-eight,
Other two percent is missing.
I'm saying,
This is rubbish.
Don't make your children's lives miserable by thinking you have to make them achieve things that you did not.
That's not why they are.
They happen to come through you,
They don't come from you.
It's a privilege.
Another life happened through you.
Always value that privilege and see what best you can do.
You are not a boss,
You don't own them.
It's a great privilege.
Another life,
You have the opportunity to see the life from its very beginning,
To make it happen,
Do the best nurturing.
The best thing you can do is in your home,
Create an atmosphere that your children will never see what is anger,
What is frustration,
What is fear,
What is jealousy,
What is quarreling with each other.
These things they never witnessed.
They grew up in an atmosphere of joy and love.
This is all.
You don't have to teach them any stupid philosophy.
They will grow up fine,
Because this is the nurture that is needed for a life to shape itself.
