Ambience of Love

This session brings together a bouquet of diverse questions – on post-death rituals, women as gurus, cultural policing, the role of a parent and the spiritual paths opened up by Gautama the Buddha and Shiva, the first Yogi. In response, Sadhguru touches upon a wide range of subjects – from prarabdha karma to the degrees of commercialization, from the unique yogic culture of Tamil Nadu to the prodigious contribution of Shiva to the spiritual heritage of that land.

Yogi, mystic and visionary, Sadhguru is a spiritual master with a difference. An arresting blend of profundity and pragmatism, his life and work serves as a reminder that yoga is a contemporary science, vitally relevant to our times.

For more Sadhguru's insights, follow him on twitter and facebook.

Transcript

Questioner 1 Pranam Sadhguru.

Last few hundred years we have seen more sages,

Gurus,

Gods who are male.

My… who are male.

Why don't we see enough women in these roles?

Which one you want to be?

You want to be a goddess or a gurus?

You want to be a goddess?

Which one?

Okay.

There is no dearth for goddesses in this country.

There are more goddesses than gods if you do not know this.

If you go from village to village in Tamil Nadu,

For every village there is a different goddess,

You know?

For every village there is a different goddess,

But for every village there is no different god.

So goddesses,

There are more than gods in number,

So your information is wrong.

If… Where do you come from,

Delhi?

Huh?

You come from Delhi?

Singapore?

Oh,

You should move to Tamil Nadu.

There are lots of goddesses,

All kinds of amends about sages and seers.

There have been many in the past.

These days,

Because generally from young age they're trying to be beauty queens,

They're just missing out on the other training.

Because the commercial campaign as to how a woman should be in the world is totally misguided and westernized.

And I think a huge amount of the female population is completely taken by this.

Lot of them would approach it,

Maybe after they are fifty and they have no hope of being beauty queens and… At that time they may come,

Lot of them are coming to us.

But there are lot of young women also with us who are doing wonderfully well.

So,

Experientially there are many,

Many women among the Isha meditators who are really in fabulous states,

Fabulous states of experience.

So you can call them as seers or seeressess.

In their own ways.

Gurus… No,

Women will not make good gurus,

Nor will men make good gurus.

Unless you know how to be beyond the two,

You can't be this.

If you're a man or a woman,

If you're stuck with your gender,

Then there's no chance of being a guru because you're looking at the mechanics of life in a completely different way.

You're just looking at life as life.

Being masculine,

Feminine is only question of percentages.

Every other part that a woman has,

Man also has,

Except one or two parts,

Isn't it so?

Yes or no?

So the difference is very little.

You have given too much attention to reproductive organs,

That this has become a big event in your head.

If you… if you just pay attention to life,

You wouldn't be paying so much attention to reproductive organs,

Isn't it?

If you must identify,

It's not good to identify yourself with some body parts,

Isn't it?

When you all the time go about,

I'm a man,

I'm a woman,

You're identifying yourself with body parts,

Isn't it?

If you must identify with body parts,

I would advise at least choose the brains,

Not these things which make you a man or a woman.

So women will not make good gurus.

Men cannot do at all.

So leave that area alone.

Don't take men and women there,

It doesn't work like that.

You being a man or a woman is only for a few purposes in life,

Yes?

Only for a few purposes you need to be a woman or you need to be a man.

For rest of it,

You just need to be a human being,

Isn't it?

You just need to be a life here.

All the time you're a woman,

All the time you're a man,

This is a disease.

This is an ailment.

This is not gender.

This is a certain ailment in your head.

It's not in the body,

It's in the head.

Once your sexuality gets into your head,

That's called perversion.

If it's in the body,

It's a natural process.

If it's in your head,

It's a perversion.

For most people it's gotten into their heads.

What does it matter to you?

What kind of body parts a guru has?

Is it useful to you or not?

That's how the question is,

Isn't it?

Isn't it so?

Questioner 1 – Sadhguru,

I'm a single mother and between running a house and managing a child and earning it becomes very difficult to focus on the spiritual process.

Can you just give us some practical advice on how to make a space and time for spirituality in our everyday lives when we're householders?

Sadhguru – Why is that a popular question?

Yes,

Life places us in many situations.

Life places us in many situations where managing things is like juggling.

Have you ever juggled?

Did you ever do juggling?

No,

You must try.

Try with one ball.

Most of you can manage.

Try two.

If I give you four,

It'll be spilling all over the place.

So once you take to juggling,

You better develop some skill.

Otherwise,

Your things will be all over the place scattered and every day will be… you'll be mentally freaking out because you can't hold these things in place.

So if you're not capable of juggling at all,

You must just sit quietly with your eyes closed,

You know?

Because juggling business has its own pleasures,

Has its own pains.

You must see whether you're ready for these things or not.

But most of you get into these things inadvertently because everybody is getting into it.

Or hormones hijacked your intelligence for some time.

By the time you're released from the hijacking,

By then it's too late.

Already there are new lives around you.

Things happen.

Once you have a child,

You have a twenty-year project.

That is if they do well.

If they don't do well,

You have a lifelong project.

So before you take on such a project,

You must consciously consider,

Are you really up to this?

There is no necessity every human being has to reproduce.

There is no such necessity.

Definitely human species is not an endangered species.

You're definitely not doing it for the world.

Yes?

So it's always best when you're making… when you're taking such a big step in your life,

That you must take it consciously,

Not unconsciously.

Are you really ready for this?

Do you really need this festival?

Is this what you want to do?

If we were an endangered species,

I would tell you,

All of you must reproduce.

We are not.

There is no such danger in the next thousand years.

So only those who really want to and they feel that they're going to contribute to humanity by producing another wonderful life,

If you're sure of that,

First of all you must think,

Can the world bear with one more you?

Does the world really need one more you?

Because in some way you're going to produce a miniature version of yourself,

Isn't it?

Does the world need it?

But now it's happened.

We should not talk about this because now it's happened.

So you're a householder,

What it means is,

You have to organize your own space,

Your living space,

Your own kitchen,

Your own gas,

Your own electricity,

Your own cleaning,

Your own dishwasher,

Your own everything,

Your own own own own own everything,

Even if you're just two people.

This is a lot of burden on an individual.

Plus,

Both economically and ecologically,

It is not wise,

Not good for the country,

Not good for the world,

Not good for the planet,

Isn't it?

Isn't it so?

Because we have some silly ideas of some sense of mind,

Even the damn kitchen you have to own.

It would be so simple.

If let's say ten families got together,

You can keep your living spaces separately.

If you had a common kitchen that you volunteered one,

One day,

One person will cook.

If you joyfully did it,

You know how much arrangement would come down?

How… with how much ease and joy you could live?

No,

No,

No,

You must have your own kitchen.

Because of some silly sense of ownership and possessiveness,

We have made very idiotic arrangements for ourselves,

Which are very painful to manage.

Many people would be relieved.

I'm sure a lot of women would be relieved if ten,

Twenty families came together and you only once in twenty days you had to cook.

One day big cooking,

Next twenty days no cooking.

Wouldn't it be great?

Or maybe we could even hire some help for twenty families together and somebody could manage it,

Isn't it?

But little bit of loosening boundaries should happen.

If you come from this stupid idea,

Good boundaries will always make good fences,

Always make good neighbors.

If you have such a silly idea,

You have to suffer it.

We could… we could make,

But right now it looks like it's impossible to do these things.

But I'm sure meditators can come together and do it,

Isn't it?

You'll have lot of space to meditate in your house.

No gas smell,

No nonsense.

Nobody is burning chilies in the kitchen and doing all this.

Life could be arranged better.

Now you want to have your own everything,

You have to struggle.

There is no other way.

If you are that affluent,

You have twenty-five people working for you,

That's up to you.

But all the other simpler families,

It's better that some parts of our lives we fuse together and make it simpler and easier for ourselves,

Isn't it?

Is it not important?

And it'll be a great support and a sense of community for all the people living there.

But a little bit of give and take has to happen.

If you are calculating how much are their children eating,

How much my children are eating,

Then you can't live.

If you have such problems,

You can't live.

And it'll be very good for your spiritual growth.

So,

Now you are a single mother,

Managing this child,

Going to work,

Cooking.

I'm sure,

Not intentionally,

Unknowingly in many ways you start cursing and hating your very child.

You don't intend to do it,

But when too much juggling happens,

It will happen,

Isn't it?

You'll say no.

It is not that you have to verbally curse somebody.

Irritation is curse,

Isn't it?

Irritation,

Agitation,

Being stressed,

Can't smile at your child,

These are all curses for a growing child,

Isn't it so?

That a mother is not energetic,

Not joyful,

Won't play with you because she is dead by the time she comes home in the evening.

All these are curses for the child or no?

We need to make little different kind of arrangements.

Questioner 1 – Sadhguru,

What should be the role of a good parent in today's world?

Sadhguru – What is the role of a good parent?

See,

Parenthood is a very funny thing.

You're trying to do something that nobody has ever known how to do it well.

Yes?

Nobody has ever known what is the best way to parent their children.

Even if you have twelve children,

You're still learning.

You may raise the eleven properly,

The twelfth one can give you.

Works,

You know?

So,

But you want to do your best.

So what is the best thing you can do?

One foremost thing I would say is,

First thing is to work upon yourself a little bit.

Spend sufficient time with yourself.

Look at yourself carefully.

How you are,

How you sit,

How you stand,

How you speak,

What you do,

What you don't do.

I think you must look at yourself very carefully because the children are picking up everything rapidly and they'll exaggerate everything that you're doing.

So one foremost thing is,

At least make yourself in such a way that you would like to be.

Somebody may not approve,

It doesn't matter.

At least you made yourself in such a way that you like the way you are.

At least that much you must do.

Maybe you cannot raise to somebody else's standards.

We don't know what kind of standards they set for you,

But at least you must become the way you like it,

The way you are.

That is a must.

But that will only create the necessary ambience.

It still doesn't make you necessarily a good parent,

But it creates the necessary ambience.

But creating the necessary ambience is a large part of parenthood,

Large part.

If you create the right kind of atmosphere of a certain sense of joy and love and care and discipline for yourself and your home atmosphere,

Generally they grow up.

Of course you want to provide opportunities for them.

Each one of us can provide opportunities only to the extent it's available to us,

Isn't it?

Yes?

You cannot provide an opportunity for which you don't have excess.

You will always do according to your limitations.

I'm sure in that area you will do your best,

But the important thing is what kind of human beings or brats you raise.

For that,

What kind of human being are you is an extremely important part of raising children.

So,

If your wife became pregnant,

It's time for transformation for you.

Because now another life is coming in.

You yourself are the way you don't like yourself to be.

Definitely one more need not go that way,

Isn't it?

So,

Making… becoming conscious of what we are doing is extremely important.

What should we teach?

What we should do?

I think one important thing that you should teach your children is that they learn to question everything,

But not with suspicion,

With a genuine wanting to know.

Questioning can become a very sick thing or a very healthy process.

People question because they already suspect everything is evil.

This is a sickness.

But you… the basic purpose of a question,

Question is an instrument which helps you to dig a little deeper than where you are,

Isn't it so?

Yes?

Question is essentially an instrument with which you can dig a little deeper.

That's the purpose of a question.

If you just bring this into a child's mind,

That a child can question anything,

Including you,

The way you are.

If you allow that,

In a healthy way,

Not in a sick way,

Questioning things because you think something is wrong with everybody.

If you bring this,

The child is constantly exercising his intelligence.

This will not ensure whether he is going to become a doctor,

Engineer,

This,

That.

But one thing is clear,

His intelligence is active.

If you anyway put him through the necessary physical paces to give him a healthy body and an active intelligence and of course some level of education according to what you can afford and you bring him up without any sense of identity,

If you can bring him up,

If you do not entangle his intelligence by being identified to this or that,

That he is willing and open to everything,

If you bring him up this way,

The best possible that he can make out of his life,

He will do.

He may not become like somebody else,

But he will grow to his maximum potential.

Of course it depends on along the way who he meets,

What happens,

What situations he gets into,

Whether he comes into a spiritual space or he goes into a war zone,

Where he ends up,

Who knows?

Those things you cannot control,

Isn't it?

But if you create an atmosphere of love,

Meditativeness,

Openness,

When you're not identified with anything,

Naturally there is no sense of prejudice.

If you bring up a child free of prejudice in a loving,

Very open atmosphere,

Generally they do well,

But there is no guarantee.

Because there are other influences in the society,

You don't know into whose hands they'll fall tomorrow morning.

Yes?

You may be doing your best.

Tomorrow morning into whose hands your child will fall,

There is no insurance or guarantee.

That's a risk that you're taking always.

But the only thing is,

Did you do your best or not?

That's all there is to life.

They should not go off track because of you.

If they get lost because of somebody,

Because of some other situation,

That's beyond you.

But they should not get lost because of you,

Isn't it?

That will be a crime,

That you implant fear into them,

You bring fear into them,

You bring prejudice into them,

You bring hatred into them.

Now because of you,

They're going off the track.

This is an unpardonable crime.

A parent should not do this to a child.

But this is happening in so many different levels.

You are imparting your fear,

You are this,

You are that,

All kinds of your limitations should not be transferred to the next generation,

Isn't it?

Whatever your limitations,

They should not be transferred to the next generation.

If you are not confident of doing this,

I think we should create more and more spaces where children can grow up better.

Not every parent who was born a child is necessarily capable of bringing up their children well,

For variety of reasons.

It could be because of your profession,

Because of where you live and what you do,

You know,

All kinds of things.

I think we need more and more places where children can grow up well.

We are trying to create those spaces but these kind of spaces cannot be created simply by hiring professional teachers.

This can only be done if they are very committed,

Dedicated,

Focused volunteers who want to do it,

Who are committed to making it happen.

If that's not there,

People who are trying to earn a livelihood,

They will not commit themselves to somebody else's children,

You know.

They will just teach them science and social studies.

They will not pour life into them.

So creating such spaces is a challenge but this is a basic responsibility that humanity has to fulfill that if you are not concerned that the next generation of human beings are at least one step ahead of you and me,

If this concern is not there in our hearts,

I think we better become an endangered species.

Isn't it so?

It's extremely important that we have this concern that the next generation should live little more joyfully with less fear.

Maybe no fear is a little far away thing,

With less fear,

With less prejudice,

With less entanglement,

With less hatred,

With less misery.

This we must aim for,

Isn't it?

And if you have two children,

That's your contribution to the next generation that you don't leave two brats into the world.

You are leaving human beings who are at least a little better than you.

That's a great contribution one can do.

Questioner 1 – Namaskaram Sadhguru.

I just want to know the basic difference of the way of Shiva and the way of Buddha.

It's very easy to talk about Buddha's way because it's very logical.

It's quite simple actually.

And it's very long drawn out process.

Generally,

The methods that Gautama gave to people were always a question of a few lifetimes.

You can clearly see this today.

The Buddhists are always talking about this,

Particularly the Tibetan Buddhists,

They're always talking about a few lifetimes of work.

So if you have that kind of patience that you're willing to work for a few lifetimes,

Gautama's ways are very efficient,

Very logical,

Scientific,

Step-by-step process that one can take because this is a path of awareness.

The significance of walking the path of awareness is there are milestones on the way which tell you you'll come one mile,

Two miles,

Ten miles,

It tells you where you are.

That is the most important aspect.

That is without too much trust or devotion you can still grow because you have a method to hang on to,

You just keep doing it,

Keep doing it,

Keep doing it.

It clearly shows you that you're progressing.

But with Shiva there is no such guarantee and he doesn't fix milestones.

You don't know whether you're going forward or backward but you're going somewhere,

That's all you know.

It's like falling into a bottomless pit.

That sounds terrifying.

I want you to understand this,

A bottomless pit is the safest place to fall into.

A pit with a bottom is dangerous.

A bottomless pit is absolutely safe.

Your life is done,

If you just jump into it,

It's done,

Simply you fall.

If you ever do… has anybody done skydiving?

You did?

So if you have a free fall,

Then if you do not… do not open your parachute for a few thousand feet,

You don't know whether you're going down or going up,

Nothing,

It just feels like you're floating around and it's wonderful.

Only when you look down,

The damn planet is coming at you at a tremendous speed.

If this planet is taken off,

This is a great experience.

Only if you look down,

It's just coming at you at tremendous speed,

That's the only problem.

Falling is… don't understand the falling as a negative thing.

Falling is a great thing.

Did you ever fall in love?

Only when you hit the bottom,

Then it gets bad.

If you fell into a bottomless pit,

Then there is no problem.

So Shiva is a bottomless pit.

His methods are very different.

But you cannot limit him that way because with seven different disciples,

The seven saptarishis,

The celebrated rishis of the yore,

He taught seven basic ways in which a human being can explore his consciousness.

From these seven,

In multiples of seven,

It went further.

And one-hundred-and-twelve different ways he explored and he said,

This is all.

It's a beautiful story.

No time for stories.

So he expounded one-hundred-and-twelve different ways as to how a human being can attain to his peak.

And these one-hundred-and-twelve are the one-hundred-and-twelve chakras in the body.

There are one-hundred-and-fourteen,

But two of them are outside the physical body.

He left those two and he said,

One-hundred-and-twelve different ways of attaining when you're embodied.

That means every chakra in the body,

Every meeting point of the energy system,

One particular way of attaining.

So he did not leave anything out.

So Buddha is a small part of his work.

I want you to understand,

Gautama himself didn't go simply sit in the forest.

The eight years of his sadhana,

He spent with various teachers across the country.

And the whole spine of this spiritual process,

This knowledge has essentially come from Shiva.

Wherever it is,

Whichever part of the world it is,

The basic spiritual process comes from this spine and it's been taken to different parts of the world in so many different forms.

It… they look so different because these one-hundred-and-twelve different ways look absolutely different from one another.

So what is the difference between Shiva and Buddha is not an appropriate question.

Which aspect of Shiva did Buddha explore?

He explored the path of awareness,

Which is one aspect.

It's very unidimensional,

But the significance of Gautama Buddha is he's very scientific,

Clinical.

He appeals to the logical mind.

So what you call as Buddha's way is just one aspect of these one-hundred-and-twelve different ways.

And so many others have brought so many other aspects but individual ways.

Of the seven disciples,

Of the seven saptarishis,

The one who walked south… South means anything south of Himalayas is south.

So Agastya walked south and he became particularly active beyond the Vindhya mountains.

You know that story about Vindhya mountains bowing down to Agastya Muni and he never came back.

So you know that story?

No.

You must learn something about India.

So particularly the Deccan Plateau,

He spread himself in such a way,

Every human habitation in Deccan Plateau he touched.

Wherever you see,

You will hear something about Agastya Muni.

And he started this action for rural rejuvenation.

He did not leave a single human habitation.

He brought spiritual process to everybody's life,

The whole population.

They say he lived over 4,

000 years.

We don't know how long he lived.

But definitely his lifespan was not a normal span of life.

It was extraordinarily long.

When you just calculate the mileage that he covered,

If you had put a speedometer on him and seen how many miles he covered,

You could see it's an extraordinary length of time.

We don't know whether it's 400 years or 4,

000 years.

People say it's 4,

000.

But definitely he lived very long and he touched every habitation and made sure a spiritual process became a living reality for them.

We are still enjoying his work,

I want you to know.

The southern part of India is still enjoying his work.

A certain… without knowing why,

A certain level of settled nature that you see is his work.

Because he brought yoga into people's lives without a label,

Without a format,

Just like life process.

As you wake up in the morning,

Brush your teeth,

Cook,

Eat,

All this he made it into a spiritual process.

And we are still enjoying the benefits of that.

If you look at any spiritual process anywhere on the planet,

You will see it is not outside the one-hundred-and-twelve ways in which Shiva explored this.

But unfortunately,

I am always strongly feeling about this.

This is one being who has not been sufficiently acknowledged for the work that he has done,

Not as a god,

For the work that he has done,

For the knowledge that he has spread,

For the capability and empowerment that he did to humanity,

The work that he did on human consciousness,

For that he has not been sufficiently acknowledged.

That's one of my wishes that in the next hundred years,

This one being must find more acknowledgement because what he has done,

No other being has done on this planet,

No other.

People have explored fragments of human consciousness.

They have found one doorway here,

One doorway there,

How to get there.

Nobody has explored,

Nobody has propounded every possible doorway to human consciousness.

You can use every point in your body as a pathway,

As a doorway to your consciousness.

That's how he propounded.

The Shiva Sutras are a phenomenal work,

Mostly broken into pieces and ignorant people writing and rewriting without knowing the essence of it has destroyed it in so many different ways.

But I have enjoyed being his partner and I know the depth and the dimension of his work and he has not found even a fragment of acknowledgement that he deserves.

Just saying somebody is a god is not good.

As a being,

What work he has done,

He needs to be acknowledged for that.

So I always slip him in in all kinds of odd places.

I have taken him to places where he would have never been allowed entry.

Many places like this.

So because if you do not acknowledge a certain work that's been done,

The possibility of making use of it also is gone in your life,

Isn't it?

The possibility of making use of something that's available to us is better if we acknowledge,

Yes,

This has been done.

So comparing Gautama and Shiva is inappropriate.

I have great respect for Gautama.

He's a great being,

No question.

His work is phenomenal.

He caused a huge spiritual wave which is still on after 2500 years.

But it is not comparable.

It is no way comparable.

All we can say is Shiva's work contains Gautama's work as a small element.

It is less than one percent because out of hundred-and-twelve,

Gautama explored one.

And the important thing is he marketed it well and he encouraged thousands of people to take the path.

That's his success.

But Shiva is little too inebriated to do marketing.

You should do marketing for him.

He is… He won't do marketing.

By the time I am done with my life,

I'm sure I will leave him little more popular than the way he is today.

Before you go home,

You decide one of your limitations,

One of your problems,

One of your nonsense that people suffer around you.

One of those things should go.

You can't leave all of it wholesale.

At least one.

Shall we?

Participants – Yes.

Because without transformation,

Empty spirituality,

Talking spirituality,

Acting spiritual is no good.

Some transformation must happen,

Isn't it?

Please make that happen so that when you live,

People will enjoy living with you.

When you die,

They'll miss you.

That's how you should live.

On a certain day,

Shankaran Pillai's wife was particularly incensed about her husband.

So she made a soup and put five extra spoons of chili.

And she came and served it.

It was hot,

Steaming hot.

And she wants to see what happens.

She brung her hands,

But he's reading the newspaper.

She said,

The soup is ready.

She said,

The soup is ready.

She said,

The soup is ready.

He said,

Hmm,

Hmm,

Hmm,

And still reading the newspaper.

Then she wanted to see whether it'll really work or if the chili powder is adulterated,

Not strong enough.

So she thought,

Let her check it up and took a spoonful and just put it.

It just exploded in her mouth.

Tears welled up.

Tears started flowing.

Just at that moment,

Shankaran Pillai kept his newspaper down and came.

He looked at her and said,

Why are you crying?

She said,

You know,

Just last year my mother died.

And how much she loved this soup.

When I just saw this soup bowl,

It reminded me of my mother and tears came.

Oh,

Is that so?

Don't worry.

It's,

You know,

What to do.

We all lose our mothers and fathers sometime.

It's all right.

And Shankaran Pillai went back to his newspaper with the soup and reading the newspaper,

He put it in his mouth.

It went boom like a dynamite because this was a full spoonful.

Tears came into his eyes.

Then she came and said,

Oh,

You're also emotional about my mother.

He said,

No,

No,

I am not crying because your mother died.

I am crying because that good mother left and she left you here and went.

This is not the way to live.

When you live,

People should enjoy your presence.

When you die,

They should miss you.

If the reverse happens,

That means we've lived the wrong way.

Isn't it?

Reviews

So much knowledge and insight, as always! Namaste! 🙏

Valuable in so many ways. Thank you.

Terrific 🙏🏻 thank you

The best, if you have children I feel this is a good message.

This one needs more than one listen. So much wisdom. Mind exploding.

So much information. I will be returning to this.:)

Always a pleasure .

Some nice insights, thank you

You reiterate the importance of life in a way that touches and resonates with my being. Thank you for doing your best to give useful knowledge to reflect upon and utilize.

Such a truly profound talk..🙏🌼