Nikki Armytage-Foy: Electric Woman

Nikki Armytage-Foy is the founder of Electric Woman, a company focused on women's growth. Nikki and I speak about the challenges for femininity in masculine-dominated settings, how to connect with your personal "spirit guide," and lifestyle design.

Transcript

Today's guest is Nikki Armitage-Foy.

She's the founder of Electric Woman.

She's a coach and she works with women to help them find their personal power.

And we had a really fun conversation where we talk about Beyonce and having your desire overcome your fear and resistance and inner archetypes.

And Nikki even shares that how she helps women,

She mainly works with women,

Find their inner archetype,

What she calls electric woman.

But I think it applies to men too.

It's almost like finding your spirit guide.

And even things with goals like passion or escapism.

We talk about a lot of fun stuff.

I've known Nikki,

I met Nikki a few years ago at a OneTaste course a long time ago.

And back then she was just speaking about,

She's already a coach but she's speaking about creating the electric woman brand and here it is many years later.

It's awesome.

You can find her work at electricwoman.

Com.

She also has a program coming up in October and the link to that will be in the show notes.

Right now you're listening to episode 014,

Nikki Armitage-Foy,

Electric Woman.

You're listening to the Ruwando Podcast,

Perpetual Orgasm,

Infinite Play.

Please subscribe on iTunes and enjoy the show.

All right,

We're live.

Hey Nikki.

Hi.

Hello.

Yeah,

It's great to see you.

It's been maybe three years,

Something like that?

Yeah.

I remember seeing you in New York last,

I think.

Was it New York?

Yeah,

New York.

Yeah,

OneTaste.

That was certainly a ride.

And I remember back then you had the concept for Electric Woman.

I remember you telling me about it.

I don't think you even had the website up yet.

No.

Is it still?

Yeah,

No,

It's all,

Electric Woman's been building and I've been developing it for the past few years and it's finally clear and fabulous.

So yeah.

Awesome.

Yeah.

So can you catch me up with that?

I mean,

That might be a great way to catch up and get to know your work.

Yeah,

Totally.

So what was the trajectory from that idea a couple of years ago until now?

Well,

So I've been life coach for almost 10 years and working with women for 10 years.

And I had a company before Electric Woman called The Lifestylist,

Which was a coaching company for women who were pretty dynamic and powerful,

Strong women.

I've always surrounded myself with those types of women.

I think I also am one and my mum's one.

And so it just felt very natural that I did that.

And then about three or four years ago when I was,

When I saw you last,

Yeah,

I was really trying to develop this new idea that I had,

Which is called Electric Woman.

And in essence,

What I've been learning over the years,

I've been working with women and also my own personal journey,

Really understanding my self worth and my power as a woman.

I saw and I saw so many women mirror back to me what I was thinking myself about my own self worth,

Such as I'm too busy,

I'm exhausted.

I need to,

Oh,

Where have you gone?

You're there,

You're still there.

Okay.

So yeah,

Just,

Just busy and run down and very controlling as well.

Like wanting to control everything.

I think they were just so busy,

But also being quite perfectionist about how life should look and how they should look.

And then things like people pleasing and being this kind of sweet,

Good little girl.

And just all these things that I felt about myself,

I would just see in all these incredible women.

So I called them fondly a term called the evil misses.

And the evil misses are our kind of inner critics,

The perfectionist,

The little girl,

The good girl,

The punisher,

Very punishing voice that we have in ourselves.

All these women I was working with is basically like me and I just wanted to put it,

I wanted to create something which just helps them see themselves.

So I created what I call the evil misses,

Which is our kind of self- Evil misses?

The evil misses.

Okay.

Like evil as in like good and evil and misses as in like Mrs.

Jones?

Yeah,

Like,

Yeah,

Exactly.

And the evil misses are Miss perfectionist,

Miss good girl,

Miss workhorse,

Miss punisher.

So like negative archetypes that women embody?

Yeah.

Sometimes?

Got it.

And what women love to do is like,

Oh,

I'm the perfectionist.

Oh,

I'm totally the little girl.

And,

You know,

They,

I think it's a really nice way just for them to sort of see the ways that they hold themselves back.

Yeah.

People love personality typing too,

Even if it's negative,

It's so fun.

Love it.

Yeah.

That's a really,

So anyway,

I,

I,

I,

Um,

So developed that and then I created what I call now the electric woman and the electric woman is,

If you're in your electric woman,

You are,

Um,

Uh,

You can manage that and you don't have to be run by that.

You can be run by something way more powerful.

That is your true self basically.

And the electric woman is a way to get in touch with your true power and who you are as a woman.

Gotcha.

So,

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

I'm curious about a couple of things you just said.

Uh,

You mentioned it's for dynamic women or you've been coaching dynamic women.

Um,

Do you think that's like a type or is it like a quality that you pull out of everyone?

I'm curious as your thought on that.

Is it like only 30 or 40% of women is what fits you or you pull that out of every single woman you meet?

I,

There's a great question.

I think dynamic women are women who are just hungry for more like,

Um,

Often it's women who are in big leadership positions or that kind of dynamic women or,

And sometimes it's women who are just searching for something within themselves.

So it could be any woman,

You know,

But there is this kind of quality about them where they're just hungry and seeking and want to feel really empowered.

Gotcha.

Gotcha.

Yeah.

So yeah,

Cause I've got questions.

I'm not sure.

Um,

I'm not the only one of the things I want to talk to you about is,

Uh,

Like this idea of,

Uh,

Like the world,

The productive world is set up on like a more male paradigm.

And it sounds like the type of women you serve or the type of,

Uh,

Problem you,

You heal or fix is for a woman for being forced to be like,

Uh,

To fit into a paradigm that doesn't fit her,

Who she is.

And that perhaps causes a lot of the tiredness and the stress that's needed control because her job,

If she's a CEO or something doesn't fit like who she innately is.

Is that right?

Hmm.

Yeah.

I would say,

I would say,

I think we all know as women now and probably as men too,

You know,

This about us,

Which is we we've been trying to sort of fit into this run,

Run our mask,

Run in this masculine way,

Because that's just,

You know,

Productivity and achievement and that kind of thing is just what's success is in inverted covers.

And I think,

Yeah,

We've been,

We're just trying to sort of fit into what's already there and it's not working.

And I don't think it's,

I mean,

It is working to a certain extent,

But then we feel burnt out and lost and we're struggling and it's not just women it's meant to.

But yeah.

Yeah.

I find that as someone who I think like just wants to live a more creative moment to moment life,

I feel frustrated with like,

Oh,

Well,

If I want to live in society,

I need to make money and live on a schedule and all these things that aren't super fun.

So I'm like,

So how you don't try to change the system,

Right?

Like your work isn't trying to change that is trying to change how you interact with it.

Where do you start with someone who's in that space?

It's interesting you say it's not necessarily trying to change the system.

I think it probably is trying to change.

Like my desire is to work with women so they feel really,

That they feel like they can be themselves and whatever they,

Whatever they need to do.

So if they need to make changes at work where they're flexible working,

Or I want them to decide how they want to run their lives and to ask for it.

And that may need,

That may mean making changes like on all levels.

So I think it will impact it.

It's not just,

It's really interesting one.

I think it's such a brilliant question.

I think it is on one how,

On one end,

How do you interact with it?

On the other hand,

And how do you make changes?

So for all women,

Like for,

And for not just,

Again,

Not just for women,

Like for anyone who doesn't want to feel exhausted,

You know,

And having to fit in.

Where do you think that exhaustion comes from?

Is it one thing or do you find commonalities amongst women or people even?

I think the exhaustion comes from pressure to be and look a certain way and perform and also low self,

Low self worth too.

And not really knowing ourselves.

So therefore thinking we need to do this in order to be successful.

Gotcha.

Yeah.

That makes it so like,

It's like,

Yeah,

You're just trying to be someone else.

Obviously it's going to be tiring because you're acting in some way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And not having the awareness to know what we need that makes us feel alive and energized on a basic level,

But on a work level.

I think most women that I work with come to me because they want to,

On one hand,

Let go of the kind of evil messes.

But on the other hand,

To really create a vision of who are they and what do they want?

And that then starts to take with pressure off.

Gotcha.

I'm wondering,

And this,

I bet this is a question you've gotten before.

Maybe not.

I don't know.

Like what if we really are like,

Or what if I really do believe in my self worth all of a sudden I changed my mind.

Like,

Okay,

Who I am is great.

Isn't it possible that who I am really doesn't fit the productive world?

And especially if I work in an industry that requires it,

Like,

Does that,

What do you do if that happens?

Totally.

Well,

I want to pose it back to you because I know I will answer that question,

But I know that you've been off on these incredible journeys around South America,

Is it?

Yeah.

Last winter.

Last winter.

And I just would love to know,

I will answer that because I know it's,

I'd love to hear your take on it.

I ask,

This is something I think about a lot.

I'm asking for myself too.

But I also,

I mean,

I hate the idea of balance,

But that's where I've had to be like,

Okay,

I can go off for three months,

But at some point I need to like worry about money again.

Like I can save up enough for that.

I don't like that idea,

Like on a conceptual level of like,

Oh,

I need to like do the thing I don't like to do and they do the thing I do like,

So I can do the thing I do like to do.

I'm really trying to find this synergy,

But I don't know if that's just me being idealistic and that's just not possible.

I think I'm fortunate to be in an industry that allows that more,

But I've also like chosen to choose fun over security most of the time.

And that's not,

You know,

It hasn't,

It hasn't lended to my life being super secure,

Which I'm okay with,

But I'd love to find a way to have both.

Yeah.

The security and the fun.

Security.

Yeah.

Security,

I guess.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sorry.

What was the question again?

So for.

.

.

What if like who you are doesn't fit the industry you work in or your society,

Or maybe even your family life?

Like I guess it could apply to anything.

Well,

I,

Before I became coach,

I was working in marketing and advertising.

I remember we're sort of 10 years behind you guys in the US.

Like I think,

I think in the UK coaching and that kind of spirituality and wellness side,

We're a little bit behind.

So I remember 10 years ago when I was just coming into this life coaching world,

I remember telling my mum,

I'm going to be a life coach.

She's like,

What on earth is a life coach?

Like,

What are you doing?

You've got a secure job.

And,

And you know,

And I would,

I would,

I remember going to the bar in the sky.

I was like,

I'm a coach.

And he's like,

People are just so at the beginning,

Quite derogatory about it.

And it's just like,

You're,

You're going to coach my life for you.

And really sort of a bit rude and just didn't really get it.

But that's okay.

We're definitely catching up.

But my point is,

I think that if you,

I remember also people saying to me,

You'll never make a sustainable income as a coach and just do something that's safer.

And you know,

10 years on,

Although it has taken 10 years,

I feel extremely secure and I feel like coaching is absolutely sustainable.

And I think you just got to follow what it is he wants to do.

And it may not fit him with,

You know,

The secure way of how you should be doing things and what most other people do,

But you just make it work if you want it that much.

And you just,

You know,

Have the fun and have the security as your absolute kind of focus and make them both happen.

You know,

Have fun by charging 10 grand for a week of someone coming to work with you.

Yeah,

I guess that's a really good point in that.

Like I was framing it in my mind is like,

What if your job doesn't work for who you are,

But then just leave your job and do something that works.

Just leave your job.

Yeah.

It takes a lot of courage to do that.

But I think when you've tapped into Electric Woman and you know,

And you're just like,

This is what I know and I cannot not do it because I will be selling my soul.

You just have to do it.

So what are the,

I'm just,

I'm curious to know,

Like,

I'm sure a lot of women push back on that idea.

What do you say to them?

Is there anything beyond what you just said?

Push back on the idea that they just need to let go and follow that.

Because it takes a lot of faith to accept what you said.

Like,

I believe you,

Even though I'm living that way,

I still feel resistance in me to that idea as a truth.

Yeah.

Well,

I think,

I think the women that may be resisting it may not want it or not may not want it,

But let's think,

Let's feel into this.

I do get a lot of women,

A lot of people just in general saying that almost like getting excited about the idea of Electric Woman or their own Electric Woman,

And then not following it through and just thinking it's not going to work.

And I think the reason why they do that is because they're kind of evil misses or they're kind of stories of what they should be doing with their life are just so strong and they get into patterns.

They just,

They sort of surrender to their patterns of being rather than getting into that,

Getting into,

I'll do something with her,

Which is called the Electric Woman Visualise.

And it's where you get to visualise powerful,

Happiest,

Content,

Radiant self.

Who is,

Who is that woman that you know you can be?

It's like the woman that you know you were born to be.

And I know that every single woman has that within her.

If she wants to discover it,

You've got to want to discover it first,

You know.

So it's like a desire needs to be greater than fear.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

And then once you've discovered it,

You just have to keep following that path.

And the resistance will come and get you.

You will get what the F are you doing?

This is not going to work.

You know,

All these reasons.

Getting close to what you want.

It just does.

Have you read the War of Art book by Preeta?

I've not read it in detail.

Oh,

Sorry,

Can you say that again?

It cut out for a second.

I haven't read it in detail,

But I do know of it.

I've skimmed it a little bit.

It's making me think of that because,

So it was a book written by a man,

A former Marine,

And he talks about like creative resistance.

Like you want this thing,

But resistance comes up and he frames it as like a battle.

It's like a very masculine way of fighting your inner demons.

So I was curious about just your take about,

Because you brought up the word resistance.

And I've been thinking about this recently.

Like,

Oh,

If your resistance is greater than your desire,

You're going to move away from whatever you want.

It's like a simple equation.

Like if your desire is greater,

Then you're going to inch towards it.

If your desire is much greater than your resistance,

You'll move towards it quickly.

I've been literally like writing a lot about it for myself to like,

Oh,

How do you reduce that resistance or increase that desire enough that your net gain is fast?

I know this is a very mathematical way of looking at it,

But like you can just move towards what you want faster.

So you're saying getting back in touch with the electric woman,

The powerful person within you is a way of perhaps increasing that?

Yeah,

Absolutely.

So you're,

Oh,

You're back.

So you're,

Every,

You know,

Your electric woman is,

Is that deep,

Wise,

Intuitive voice within that just knows.

And it's the voice of,

You know,

Voice of,

Yeah,

Like clarity.

I find when I tell,

I,

My electric woman's called Serenity.

I gave her a name because when I met her in the visualization,

I got this really clear image of a woman who is just calm and peaceful and clear and she doesn't have to struggle.

And it was such a relief to meet her.

And I know that that's a really big part of me whenever I allow myself to be that way and I have to channel it.

And when I do channel that,

That all the resistance and the noise and that busyness can come in.

But whenever I'm in my electric woman,

I'm,

I don't need to listen to that.

Like,

I know it's there,

But I don't choose to be dominated by it.

So it sounds like a lot of your modeling is based on like the idea of archetypes,

Like the electric woman.

I was going to ask you about that.

Like you actually have a name and a person.

Yeah,

Totally.

Does she look a certain way in your mind?

Totally.

Okay.

Yes,

Very archetypal work.

And then,

And then the misses are also like these negative,

Like I'm imagining them as like little demons in your brain.

Do you have like any background in archetype stuff?

Or is this something you're just drawn to?

You know,

I remember reading Women Who Run With The Wolves and that's just such a,

I think women's journeys are so,

I think the key to women's power is to embrace all the archetypes within us and for men too.

And I remember reading Women Who Run With The Wolves and it just shows these different kind of maiden,

Mother,

Crone,

These different types of archetypes that just really,

Yeah,

Can empower you and can make you understand yourself on a whole different level.

And in a very basic way,

I mean,

I love,

I love Beyonce.

I must,

Like most women,

I would say probably love Beyonce.

And I think the reason why we love her so much is because she demonstrates like all the archetypes of women,

You know,

She's fierce and soft and gentle and strong and a business woman.

And she's got all of everything going on,

This massive range that she plays with.

And I think it's just so empowering,

Especially for the good girls to step into that kind of warriors and for the perfectionist to step into that kind of softer side and,

You know,

Just to really play with that and help women.

I think,

Going back to Beyonce,

She created Sasha Fierce,

This alter ego that she uses to empower her when she goes on stage.

And,

You know,

The electric woman is sort of like an alter ego.

It's like this side of us that really empowers us in whatever we're going through in that moment in life.

I'm wondering,

So I had someone on the podcast recently who talks to spirits and I was trying to understand her worldview.

And I still wasn't sure if like,

Is she actually talking to a thing that's a spirit or is it just a archetype in her mind that she's really dissociated from?

I'm just curious,

Like,

How,

How personified is Serenity,

For instance?

Like,

Does it does she have a personality that's contrary to yours?

Do you ever argue with her?

Does she like,

Or is it just like,

Oh,

I'm talking to my subconscious when you're with her?

It's a great question.

Well,

So I first met Serenity 10 years ago when I was just getting into this work.

And it was a time when I was really struggling with my image and weight and I had an eating disorder for 20 years.

And when I did this visualization,

I,

In my mind's eye,

I met myself almost like my future self.

And it was this image of this woman that was me,

But slightly in the future.

And she was wearing all white and she was on the speech in California and she didn't have an eating disorder and she had her own business and she was writing a book.

And I was like,

Wow,

That's pretty cool.

And,

But it just felt like my deepest desires like coming out.

It was like a space where I could just dream and imagine,

But it wasn't just a dream.

It like all came true.

Yeah,

That's who you are.

I mean,

You just said you were living in LA.

Yeah.

And I've ever done something white.

Yeah,

I've got many white things.

I don't wear white all the time.

But Serenity,

You know,

I was having a really shit day today.

I have to tell you,

Like,

I was just,

I had loads of work on.

But when I knew I was doing this podcast,

I just like had some moments just to quiet to myself and think what would Serenity do and what do I need to do right now that would be so helpful to me?

And how do I want to show up on this podcast today?

And who do I want to be?

And for me,

When I channel Serenity,

It's almost like I can feel her.

And it's a being and that's what I love about this work.

It's all about presence and who you're being.

And then,

Like,

I find the clarity just gets so much clearer when you're not trying to do everything.

You just have to show up.

Awesome.

Yeah.

So,

It sounds like you have a whole process for helping people like the Electric Woman Visualization.

But for anyone listening,

Is there any like abbreviated tip you can give someone to find their.

.

.

Guiding,

Architect,

Electric woman or spirit guide?

Yeah.

One thing I always do with people who are new to coaching is to ask them to go somewhere that they love,

Like their favorite place,

Whether it's a cafe or a park or somewhere by the.

.

.

Physically go there.

Huh?

Like physically be there by the.

.

.

Physically go there.

Yeah.

And take a pen and paper and go and write on this page,

In this beautiful place,

A letter to themselves as if it's a year from now and they've just had the most incredible year yet,

Like their best,

Most amazing year.

And their writing is if it's a year on,

So they're looking back at what they've done.

And I get,

You know,

I've seen thousands of these letters now and people just.

.

.

It's fabulous because it's a place where you just let loose and you say,

Actually,

This is what I would love.

And I would love to like not have an eating disorder anymore.

And I would love to feel amazing with my body.

And I would love to,

You know,

Start this business and what kind of business I'd love to work with women,

You know,

And you just let it flow.

And that is,

You're starting to meet her then.

You're starting just to let go and let it all flow out.

And as a stream of consciousness,

Just let it come through.

So you've read a lot of these letters.

You actually read your clients' letters.

What are the common themes,

If there are any?

Common themes would be.

.

.

It's interesting.

There's two different types of letters I get.

One is a kind of escapist letter,

Which I encourage clients not to do,

People not to do if they can.

And the other is a real dreaming letter.

And the escapist letter is,

Well,

I'm just going to make like a million pounds.

I'm just going to move and I'm going to like have this really hot husband and I'm just going to.

.

.

And it's a little bit.

.

.

I don't know.

It's like escapism.

And the other letter is a real deep desire letter.

Like what I often feel from those types of letters when people really channel their desires is there's generally a passion that's coming through.

There's like a real desire to create something.

And yeah,

It's like a desire to create something and to let go of something that's just holding them back and weighing them down.

And if they were to let go of this thing,

Then they would feel free that they could do this one thing that they want or they might not even know,

But they just want to feel free.

And they explore what freedom would look like for them.

And yeah,

So that's the kind of things I see a lot.

And when they write down their desires,

I mean,

I'm sure you've seen women through a whole long term of this.

Is it that they typically want the literal thing they write or do you find that they like that feeling they recreate in some other way?

Or is it how literally do you suggest people take what comes out on the page?

I think you can be as specific as you want and often it can happen.

Like I really do believe in manifesting and the laws of attraction and all that stuff.

And I think sometimes if your deep desires are speaking to you and you can say,

Look,

I want to create a business in the first year,

I want to make $50,

000 or pounds or,

And then I,

You know,

And that's so clear to you.

I say,

Go for it.

If that's what it is.

Sometimes when you take these women on their journeys,

You realize,

Like you just said,

I think you alluded to,

It's more the essence of what they're creating rather than that specific thing.

So they might want to start this new business,

But actually their journey is about getting out this really destructive relationship and then starting to create something new and the business was,

You know,

It doesn't have,

It's different for different people.

I've been thinking a lot about like intention setting too,

Because I think,

Well,

I personally am resistant.

I like when life surprises me.

So I almost like don't like to set a resolution or goal because like half the time I don't want that thing specifically anymore.

And then I kind of lose interest and I want to,

I just want something to pop up and like,

Like,

Oh,

Cool.

I didn't even ask for that.

Yeah.

Well,

You know,

I actually,

A lot of the time,

Some people are specific,

I think if I got started from you,

It may not be as specific as I want XYZ and this needs to happen.

But you know,

I actually,

I'm just going to read something out.

I wrote in,

So there's this great book called ask for,

And it's given and it's this book about manifestation.

And in this book,

They talk about this magical creation box,

Which this is mine.

And essentially it's this really lovely box and you just put down all the things that you really desire and want.

And so I just wrote down mine for the next year.

Things like,

You know,

To really trust my body to trust I'll have babies when the time is right.

I just had two miscarriages.

So that was sad,

But really sort of just to trust that and to build my team and to feel in flow and not to feel overworked.

So for me,

My lesson would be more kind of that rather than it needs to be exactly like all of these things,

But I think people are different,

You know,

There's no right way of doing this.

Yeah.

Cause a lot of the,

A lot of attraction stuff say this by this date,

Like I will create X dollars by September 30th.

And I don't know,

Maybe I'm the way I'm viewing is from,

But I always feel like pressure like,

Oh,

I,

I,

But I actually know how I say that maybe it's the wrong way to look at it.

Like you're not forcing you to do that.

You're asking for something.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's true.

I,

Yeah,

I think,

Yeah,

You've got,

I think you want this to feel like a really exciting desire rather than pressure.

Cause I think that would work.

Yeah.

And back to the other thing about resistance,

If you're feeling pressure,

You're probably pushing it away then.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Did you take magic school at one taste?

No,

I didn't.

Okay.

Cause they,

They had something like a box,

I don't know where they got it from.

Maybe that book,

But the idea of like putting notes in the box and they call it a God box.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm curious about how,

Like,

Cause we met at one taste,

Like how,

And I know you have some articles on your site about sexuality.

How do you tie that into all the stuff that you've been talking about?

Oh God,

It's huge.

I love talking to women about feeling sexually empowered.

It's just such a big topic and we just don't,

I think more and more women are realizing the importance of it.

And I think especially in the UK,

We don't really,

We're not as open about,

I don't want to just the UK.

I love,

I love living in the UK,

But I think we're,

We're quite a lot as a quote,

It seems like,

Oh,

I can't talk about sex,

You know.

Is it,

Is the UK I've never been,

Is it really that much more conservative?

Maybe it's just like I meet all these people in the US from the UK and they always seem so free.

Like I can't imagine you could be behind.

I don't know.

I just,

I find that,

I don't know whether it's just the women that I come across,

But I think when you talk to them about being sexually empowered,

It's like,

Ah,

You know,

Ah,

Ooh,

I can't believe you just said that.

Like it's,

It's,

They want it.

They really,

Really want it.

But it's something that we just don't talk about mainstream.

I think it's getting better.

I think it's definitely getting better,

But,

So anyway,

Going back to the,

The sexual side,

I think,

You know,

This whole journey of being in your electric woman is a journey of your self-worth as a woman.

That's essentially what it is.

And if you don't feel,

If you don't feel empowered around your body and if you shame,

If you have body shame and vagina shame and you know,

You feel disconnected from your sex,

That's going to,

It's going to impact,

It's not just going to impact how you feel about yourself.

It's going to impact your relationships and how you come across.

So a big part of this work on my electric woman website,

There's a manifesto and my manifesto,

I've got this,

All my programs,

Like one-on-one coaching group programs,

You go through the manifesto points,

Basically you learn about the different areas of the manifesto.

And the first one is learning about yourself as an electric woman and you do the visualization.

Anyway,

Manifesto point number six is about sexual empowerment.

And I'm just going to read it actually.

So it says,

We radically accept our body and cultivate our sexual energy.

We know how to ask what we want and we're open to receiving pleasure.

And I just,

I think that's so,

I think that when women actually invest in their sexual pleasure,

You can see a real big difference in their confidence.

And I know from my own journey,

When I was,

When I saw you on last and,

Um,

You know,

I went through a year and a half sort of learning about my sexual self,

Uh,

Through one taste and orgasmic meditation.

And a big part of that was releasing body shame and releasing vagina shame and surrendering to letting,

Understanding what it is to sort of trust a man and be intimate and,

Um,

Let go of control,

Which is huge in sex.

So I think that's a beautiful piece of this work for any women who are exhausted and overworked and busy.

Um,

Yeah,

It's fabulous.

Do you find that,

Or have you found that when a woman really accesses that,

Like her sexuality and opens that it kind of makes it going back to the earlier topic,

Makes it harder to be in the productive world.

Like I've just experienced that both myself and observing other people,

Like you access your desire and you're just like,

Fuck it,

I'm not going to work.

I'm not doing anything.

I just want to feel good and have fun.

And then your passes and you've kind of just been gallivanting around.

I can see how that happens and I definitely know people that has happened too,

But I,

For me,

Um,

When I feel way more connected to my sexual desires and my sexual self,

I feel like I have more energy and more focus.

Um,

I actually feel,

Um,

This is an amazing name,

The Wolf quote,

Something about,

Um,

Female sexual pleasure is like a gateway to our self knowledge and who we are.

And I think that when we allow and receive pleasure and ask what you want to get it,

I just think it's just empowering and creates a lot more energy personally.

But I know people who have,

Um,

Uh,

Just consume themselves almost with sexual pleasure and just lost themselves a bit in that world.

Um,

But they always come back again.

Yeah.

I guess.

Yeah.

People go on their journeys.

I'm curious about one last question and,

Uh,

We kind of chatted about a little bit beforehand,

Like the idea of gender roles.

I'm just curious.

It's like,

As a woman who helps women,

Uh,

Be in the world,

But also be true to themselves.

What are your thoughts on gender roles?

Because I've,

And I asked this because,

Uh,

I've spoken with Naomi Wolf about this a bunch too,

Because her generation was kind of moving women towards masculine roles and competing with men in the male paradigm.

And I've been reading a lot about how recently,

Like the millennial generation is the first generation of women that are getting married younger than their parents.

And it's like women,

Since like the stigma has gone,

A lot of women are just like naturally going back to what feminists of 20 years ago fought against.

And I'm curious as your thoughts.

Wow.

I did not know that.

That's really interesting.

I actually just went to a wedding this weekend with a woman who's like in her mid twenties and yeah.

Anyway,

Um,

I just,

For me,

Gender roles,

Like traditional gender roles where the men go out to work and make the money and the women,

Is that what you mean?

Like women stay at home and yeah,

For me,

Well,

There's two things.

I think the first thing is it just creates expectation.

I think the,

All the women I work with are just so sick of any expectations of what they should be doing as women,

Whether they should be submitting to gender roles that,

You know,

Um,

Where they should be at home and should be looking after the family and should,

You know,

All of that side.

I think if there's any kind of expectation,

We'll just resist it.

Some women will,

Some women wait.

Um,

I think it's,

I mean,

I have to think about my own path and I know for me,

When I do have children,

I will want to stay at home with them for a bit to nurture them and be with them.

And I really also want that.

And I don't intend to give up electric women and to make a huge success of this because I have children and I don't intend not to make lots of money if that's what I want because I shouldn't be doing so.

I think,

I think everyone has to do what feels right to them.

And I think we're getting into a world now where men are massively on board and want to empower women more and more and more because they're learning about,

You know,

They can empower themselves too.

And I think the men's stuff is really,

Really fascinating.

What's sort of rising in the men's empowerment world.

But I think it's just between that couple and they just need to decide what feels best.

I'm sorry to give you such a blah answer,

But I think,

You know,

Gender roles to me just feel a bit like an expectation.

I like what you said about that people just don't like to fit expectations.

Women don't like to fit expectations.

And maybe that's why women are getting married younger now because like,

It's almost become,

Especially in liberal circles,

Expected that you get married later and get your career,

But they're like,

No,

I don't want to do that.

I want to get married now.

Like,

Maybe it's just how we are.

Totally.

Totally.

And I think that's interesting as well,

Rowan.

Like with women,

I don't know,

I don't know what works.

I don't know whether women get married later and make their career work first and then get,

You know,

Or whether they can have a successful career and get married early.

Yeah.

Like,

It's cool that they're just going,

Let's see how I,

You know,

People will do it as they choose.

Hopefully.

I think the thing,

If the one thing that I hope all listeners and people who are hearing this get is that if they can connect that deeper level of self-awareness of what is true for them and what they want,

Not with what's expected,

Follow that,

Do that.

That's it.

Are there any like lifestyle practices or things that you recommend that people do on a regular basis to serve that?

Yes.

First of all,

I would say do whatever feels good to you.

Don't feel like you have to do 20 minutes of meditation a day and you have to do journaling and you have to do all these things to make you feel amazing.

Like just do what makes you feel good.

My advice would be do something to make you feel connected to yourself.

Whether that's something around your body,

Exercise or meditation or writing,

But something that just connects you within.

I think it would be great if you could have a community of others who just understand them and get them and,

You know,

Really inspiring conversations and just to be in a tribe,

To be in with your people is always a good thing,

I think.

And I think as well,

A lifestyle practice would be just challenge yourself,

Challenge any expectations or challenge what makes you feel negative about yourself and yeah,

Challenge yourself to move past that in whatever way you feel is right.

Cool.

Yeah.

So ElectricWoman.

Com,

Is there anywhere else people can find your work?

Electricwoman.

Com,

No,

That's the main place.

We do have an Electric Woman program starting in October actually.

Can I give a little shout out to that?

Yeah,

It's Electricwoman.

Com forward slash electric-nine and it's our Electric Nine program and it takes you through the nine stages of becoming your electric woman.

And it's a virtual conference call program where you'll be led by trained coaches who are really sort of leading coaches and women's empowerment.

And it's a small groups of 12 women in each tribe.

So it's and they're women all over the world.

So you can do it from anywhere you want.

Cool.

Yeah.

When I saw that on your site,

I thought I thought it was like nine women and it was like a superhero group like the Justice League,

Like the Electric Nine.

Like sounds like,

Cool.

That's awesome.

But there's 12 women.

That's interesting.

Thanks.

That's the effect.

It's been an absolute pleasure.

It's been so nice to see you and speak to you.

All right.

Yeah.

And I'll follow your podcast.

All right.

Thanks,

Nikki.

Thank you.

Okay.

Speak to you soon.

Bye.

Thanks for listening.

Don't forget to subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher.

If you want to be a part of the virtual audience for future episodes,

Make sure to follow me at crowdcast.

Io slash Rwanda.

See you next time.