Compassionate Self Meditation

This is an example of a Compassionate Self practice as used by Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) practitioners.

Transcript

Cultivating the Compassionate Self In this exercise,

We'll work to develop the kind,

Wise,

Confident qualities of our compassionate selves.

Take a seated position with an upright,

Dignified posture.

Allow your facial muscles to relax and allow your mouth to take on a slight,

Gentle smile.

Bring your attention to the breath and allow it to fall into a soothing rhythm.

Let's watch the breath for the next 30 seconds or so.

Let's focus on some specific compassionate qualities we'd like to cultivate in ourselves,

Beginning with kindness and the desire to be helpful and supportive.

Focus on your motivation and desire to be compassionate and to contribute to helping others free themselves from suffering,

To be happy and prosper.

As you connect with this compassionate motivation,

Hold your friendly facial expression and consider your tone of voice,

How you would speak in a compassionate way,

The sorts of things you might say.

For the next little while,

Gently and playfully imagine that you already have great kindness and the desire to be helpful.

Notice how you feel when you imagine yourself in this way.

Imagining yourself as this kind being,

Consider the things you might say,

The thoughts you might think,

Consider how you might feel.

It doesn't matter if you feel like you are this sort of person right now,

Just imagine what it would feel like.

Let's watch the breath for the next 25 seconds.

A compassionate mind is also wise,

Able to see things from a broad perspective and to understand that suffering and difficulties are a part of life.

A wise mind understands that we can work with these difficulties as they appear,

Without pushing them away or being dragged down by them.

Imagine yourself as open,

Thoughtful,

And reflective,

Already able to use this wisdom.

Keep your compassionate facial expression and considering your warm tone of voice.

Imagine yourself expressing thoughtfulness and insightfulness to others and to yourself.

For the next little while,

Imagine yourself as this wise,

Thoughtful,

And insightful,

Compassionate being.

Again,

It doesn't matter if you don't feel like you're already like this.

We're just imagining what it might be like if you were.

Imagine how you might perceive things as this wise,

Compassionate being.

Imagine how you might understand them.

There are other qualities of compassion that make it possible to act with kindness and wisdom,

Including confidence,

Maturity,

And strength.

Imagine you have a sense of confidence and kind authority.

Feel it in your upright body posture.

Imagine being able to face suffering and the difficulties of life with a calm understanding that whatever is happening,

I can work with this,

Too.

Keeping your compassionate facial expression.

Think about how you would speak in a compassionate way,

How you would move about the world,

Expressing your calm confidence and maturity.

Gently imagine yourself to be this confident,

Calm,

Strong,

Compassionate,

Kind being.

Notice how you feel when you imagine yourself in this way.

When you have made up your mind to go within your family,

How you would compare it to Imagine that when difficulties arise in your life,

That you are able to approach them with calm confidence,

Understanding that you'll be able to work with them.

Calmly considering what the best response would be.

Considering what would be helpful.

Because none of these will encourage you.

So again,

Bring to mind these compassionate qualities,

Imagining yourself as this compassionate self,

This kind,

Wise,

Confident being,

To be able to meet life on its own terms and to work with whatever comes up.

There are a number of other compassionate qualities we can use imagery to develop in our minds as well.

I'll mention a few now,

But you don't have to work on them all at once.

In fact,

It might be helpful to just pick one in the morning to keep in your mind as you approach the day.

So we can work to develop sensitivity to suffering without being overwhelmed by it,

Allowing us to notice the difficulties in our lives and others without being taken over by a threat system,

Allowing ourselves to acknowledge the difficulties and try to discover what would be helpful.

We can allow ourselves to develop sympathy,

Allowing our calm and confident,

Compassionate selves to be touched by the suffering of others and by our own suffering,

Recognizing that life can be difficult,

And this isn't our fault or anyone else's.

We can experience sympathy for ourselves and for others when faced with difficulty and the motivation to help.

We can work to develop empathy for others and even for ourselves.

We can mentally put ourselves in the other's place,

Imagining what this person feels and why they might be feeling that way,

How it makes sense that they might be experiencing these emotions and acting in this way.

When we find ourselves acting in ways that shock us or that we may not like the best,

We can ask ourselves those same questions.

Why would I be behaving in this way?

Rather than judging ourselves or others,

We can ask questions.

How does it make sense that I might feel like this?

How does it make sense that I might behave in this way?

By understanding how those things come about,

How those emotions and behaviors make sense in our minds,

We can perhaps learn what would be helpful in working with them.

Imagine opening yourself and considering what others might be feeling and thinking and how it makes sense,

How you might consider them.

Consider a whole host of other positive qualities we can work to develop in ourselves,

Again,

Perhaps picking one per day to keep in mind as we approach the world.

We can work to develop generosity,

The compassionate motivation to give.

We can consider forgiveness,

Being able and willing to let go of grudges and hurt caused by others or by ourselves.

We can develop playfulness,

Learning to approach life in a light-hearted way,

Even in the face of difficulties.

And consider other compassionate qualities you'd like to have,

Other characteristics you'd like to develop in yourself.

To develop this practice,

You can imagine even that you are looking at yourself from the outside.

You don't have to have a vivid image,

Just a mental sense of yourself.

Imagine your facial expressions.

The way you move in the world is this kind,

Wise,

Confident,

Compassionate being.

Notice your motivation to be thoughtful,

Kind,

Helpful,

And wise.

Hear yourself speaking to others,

Noting your compassionate tone of voice.

See others relating to you as a compassionate person.

See yourself relating to other people in this compassionate way that you're developing.

Playfully and gently enjoy imagining yourself,

Watching yourself as a compassionate person in the world,

And how other people relate to you as this compassionate being.

When you're ready,

Return your attention to the present moment,

Bringing your compassionate presence into the world.

As you develop your practice,

You can imagine yourself having all those qualities you've been practicing,

So that when you focus on activating your compassionate self using the skills in the rest of the book,

You'll have a sense of the kind person you're working to become.

Remember that by imagining ourselves in this way,

By thinking about these qualities and working to enact them in our minds and then in our lives,

We're activating those parts of the brain that are associated with these qualities,

Making it more likely that we'll respond this way in the future.

It's like we're sending our compassionate selves to the gym,

Working them out so they'll be stronger and more able to deal with the difficulties and challenges of life.

The more you practice slowing down and imagining yourself being this person,

The more easily you will find that you can access these qualities in yourself,

And the more easily they will be able to express themselves through you.

Over time,

Your compassionate self can simply become yourself.

Thank you.

Reviews

This meditation really did something good for me to day. Thank you.

A very good guidance and a helpful practice. The audio is a bit frustrating.

Strong, clear voice. Enjoyed the practice! Thank you.

I really like the book "An open-hearted life" Russell Kolts is talking about in his meditation here. Inspiring and good as well - like this meditation! And soothing... Thanks.

Really a beautiful meditation. Thank you.

Very helpful... thank you!❤

Extremely helpful practice.

Essential meditation: to the point, inspiring, practical and so very important

Compassion...if only we all had a little more of this! Thank you for this guided meditation!

This was really helpful for extending efforts at exercising self-compassion during the rest of my day.

thank you Russell

Nice, I want to hear this one again.