Don’t Judge Me

It’s so easy to fall into judgemental thoughts: They should be like this. They shouldn’t be like that.
If I take regular time to deepen self-awareness in meditation, I can change this habit and return to a natural open-hearted attitude to others. It all starts with awareness: Who am I? Who are you? As spiritual beings, we are all sources of goodness. Is it possible to embrace and accommodate all the differences in people’s personalities and not feel separated?

Transcript

I'm Shanti,

This is Rose from Inner Space in Glasgow and we're going to look at something very interesting it's called Don't Judge Me.

It means don't judge anyone,

Don't judge yourself,

But none of us like being judged.

We're not the judge.

If we want to judge anyone,

Judge ourselves.

But we don't like being criticized.

It is so easy to fall into judgment,

Judgmental thoughts that people should be like this and they shouldn't be like that.

But if I take time regularly to deepen self-awareness and meditation,

I can change this habit and return to a natural and then more open-hearted attitude for others.

Because you know we feel when people are critical and it causes more than we would ever know because what happens because you know someone's going to criticize you,

You don't trust them.

And it makes you put so much extra effort into things that are a waste of time to try and keep away from their critical judgment.

When we could live in a far more relaxed way,

We try so hard to keep away from that critical eye of judgment.

To be critical in a good way would be good but I have yet to see that people have got this kind of strength to criticize you or to give you good advice.

Some people can give good advice,

Still have that ability.

So,

But it all starts with awareness.

Who am I?

How do I feel?

How do I feel if I feel others are criticizing me and judging me?

How do I feel?

I feel apprehensive about that person even if they think I don't know that they're criticizing and judging me,

I feel I don't trust them.

And if I feel this about a lot of different people,

What's this doing to the world?

Who am I and who are you?

As spiritual beings,

We all have a source of goodness in us.

There is an inner goodness in every single soul on the planet.

You might think,

Well,

It's not true about so and so or so and so.

Why?

Because we've developed habits that others don't like.

But is it possible to embrace and accommodate all the differences in people's personality and not to feel that separation because it causes a separation?

I don't want to be close to that person because they're a gossip or they're critical or they're always looking for a fault in me or they're judging me.

And so I won't stay away.

This isn't actually good for really good relationships because judgment often leads to separation and division and then conflict.

Because if others say anything about them,

I'll agree with them.

Very quickly I'll say that's true because that's how they are with me.

I'll believe whatever anyone tells me about them because that's how they were with me.

So it is a very simple but slippery practice to try and see others as souls.

Very tricky,

Especially if they've been not like that with me.

But as souls,

Beings of light in the center of the forehead,

All of us are good.

There's goodness in us but it's covered up with all the habits that we've learned recently.

But most people don't live in the awareness that they are consciousness.

So this is what Raja yoga does,

It teaches me soul consciousness.

So people of the entire world think that they're bodily beings with all the limitations and defenses that that way of thinking will bring.

So you can't actually blame.

That's the way of the world,

The way of the energy.

However,

If you wake up early and reaffirm that I am a soul,

A being of light in the center of the forehead and everyone I meet is a soul,

A being of energy,

A point of light.

And then throughout the day hold that awareness as much as you can.

It does take practice,

This is not an easy thing to do.

But it's completely and utterly possible if you practice.

See souls and not their bad habits basically.

Basically just stop looking at their bad habits and basically teach yourself to be immune to the way they treat you.

And treat others as precious eternal beings.

And teach yourself to accept that they may not know or accept any spiritual thought about being a soul.

But that doesn't change the wonder that each soul is a soul.

Whether they give in to that one or not,

They are a soul full of potential peace,

Love and happiness.

It is like seeing that once upon a time everyone was a pure tiny baby,

Innocent and fresh.

And that beautiful child grew up and became critical etc.

But it's still the same soul.

It was the lovely sweet beautiful innocent baby which now has become the grown-up who gossips and criticizes and judges others.

Because it's the fashion now,

It's the habit.

So practice meditation.

Practice being a child of the divine,

The one above.

Okay.

Yeah,

Seems like it's become so normal and you can see it's like a cycle of defense and attack,

Defense and attack.

It seems to require a bit of courage to just decide to put a stop to it and say I'm not going to do that defending attacking game anymore.

When you don't feel strong at the beginning of your meditation practice,

What keeps you practicing and not just reverting to the old habits?

See,

I think a lot of this happens within people you're familiar with as well,

Mostly.

And you think that you're so used to them telling you off and instructing you and telling you what to do,

That it kind of organizes you to take it from others,

If you like.

It seems more natural because your very parents did that.

But inside the very fact you don't like it means there's something in you that's rebelling against this way of being.

And I'm sure that most people in the world are rebelling against this.

And if they stopped even for a second to think,

They'd think,

I don't like this either.

Being,

It's like emotional bossing around and criticizing and I better keep up with what they want or I better dress the way they expect me to dress and I better do this or they'll all talk about me.

And then I go into a room and they're all having their tea in an office saying I know they've been talking about me.

And nobody's got that compassion to think,

Well maybe they can't afford to dress up or maybe you don't know the people's circumstances.

And so just to keep trying to keep that understanding inside that people have got used to this way,

That old way and they think it's normal.

They don't think it's wrong until maybe you say something different.

It might touch them to think that resonates.

I sometimes think that with the news and the media,

It perpetuates this judgement.

We love to see,

We don't love it,

But we seem to love to see people being criticized and pulled down.

And it's almost like,

Well if they're it,

I'm not it.

It deflects the attention away from the self.

So is it the same with just baby forms of weakness and criticism and judgement that I'm just kind of pushing out the spotlight to someone else and so I don't have to see myself?

Yeah.

And it deflects people from looking at you if you've got great gossip about someone else.

We've become quite different humans,

But it's become the fashion,

But it's a very unhappy fashion.

It's just all separation,

Division and soul awareness seems to be trying to encourage us back to a feeling of connectedness that we've lost.

That like if you're sad,

Then how can I be super duper happy?

Yeah.

And if someone's being a little bit nice to me,

How can I want to really pull them down?

It's another thing as well.

So it's something we learn through meditation to be more compassionate,

Kinder.

But yes,

It's a tricky one unless there's something in you resonates because sometimes if you start to be nice,

People think you're dead weird.

If you don't join in the gossip,

It's like,

Wow,

That's something wrong there.

And so but it will pay dividends because I know someone who refused to join in the gossip and all the pulling people down and that person moved forward in her workplace.

But not only that,

But she gained great respect and still is respected to this day because people started to trust her.

Trust is a huge thing.

You said that right at the beginning.

It's almost like there's very little trust around.

Yeah.

And then that probably comes back to how much do I trust myself?

Because if I can't even trust my own way of thinking and my own reactions.

Well,

You have to earn trust,

You know,

You have to earn trust by being trustworthy.

And when they see that you're not gossiping,

And they feel that you're not going to also be gossiping about them.

And if you're not criticising them,

Then another feeling comes into the heart.

And then you might find that they'll come up and tell you something which could be quite unexpected.

But we're all human souls with a tender heart underneath all of this.

And sometimes we need to talk to someone that we can trust.

I suppose as well when I realise through meditation or soul awareness how damaging criticism and judgment is,

Not just to the person I'm doing it to,

But to myself,

Then I don't want to do that to myself.

So I want to do something different when I realise how I'm hurting myself at the same time.

If I'm criticising others,

It can give me a feeling of smugness,

That it's not,

I'm not like that.

And it gives me a false feeling that I'm doing okay.

And in fact,

I'm pulling myself down further and further.

And I'll start to get very low self esteem.

So anyone who really,

Really goes for it,

Has got dramatically low self esteem.

And I truly would not tell them any secret of mine,

Or confide anything to them,

Because in two seconds,

They'd be on the phone.

And it would be worldwide,

Basically.

Everybody would know that this is you and you think she's great,

But she's not because she's just told me.

So to have great feelings of understanding for people who really want to judge and pull people,

Others down to make themselves feel better,

Because it will pull the self right down.

If you keep doing this,

It's not a good practice at all.

I suppose there's that,

You said at the beginning,

There's still some people that can give good advice.

And there's not not many,

But there are still some,

So it's one thing to sort of see things for what they are.

But then there's the other,

The negative side of that is to use that to,

As you're saying,

Like to make yourself feel smug.

Yeah.

And that I think that's kind of that is a slippery one sometimes because the ego can just really get in there.

Especially when you if you're doing soul awareness meditation,

And you're starting to get a bit clearer,

And see more and more.

And then not to use that,

Never to use that to your advantage in the wrong way over someone.

How do you keep a check on that?

That's everybody's individual there.

And it depends how much you develop self respect on the way I think,

Because I know for myself,

When I see what I would call a virtuous,

Someone smiles a lot.

They might even not be smiling in the right way,

But they've got a happy-go-lucky nature.

I would want to tell them they have a happy-go-lucky smiling nature,

And that would be a truth.

Or if they have generosity,

There may be terrible gossips,

Dreadful to say terrible talk about everybody.

But when there's something happening and,

Everyone has to put a donation and they're quick to say,

Oh gosh,

I'll help.

I think,

Well they're very generous natured.

And I would tell them that.

And anything if they say,

Well no,

Go,

Go,

Go,

I'll carry that for you.

I think,

Well they're really kindly.

And I would tell them that.

I wouldn't make up things to tell them,

Just to try and keep in with them or anything.

But if I saw something in them,

I would want to tell them,

You know,

And they may talk about me behind my back,

But then they may turn something,

Do something really friendly towards me.

And I know that they're talking about me,

But I would still say,

You're so friendly.

And that would sort of resonate in their consciousness and make them feel a bit,

You know,

Maybe I'm not as friendly as you think I am.

So you're doing something good there.

And so,

But it has to be real.

So I think,

Raja Yoga taught me that,

You know,

And even people that I would never have seen anything good in them.

Suddenly I started to see,

You know,

Someone who would walk to work every day.

I said,

Gosh,

You've got such good energy,

You know,

Well that's amazing.

You know,

You're very strong.

So you're just determined to focus on the fact that everyone has qualities and they don't even see it.

They can see it as ordinary.

They can see it as ordinary.

Highlight and keep highlighting it.

And if they smile a lot,

Smile with them.

And that's obviously better for your energy.

Yeah.

Smile with them.

Yeah,

I would say I've learned that.

I'm not saying I'm a champion at any of this,

But I do my best to pull it into the fact that everyone has lots of good in them,

But it's covered up with the habits of today's world.

Basically that's what I would say.

Okay.

And so let's have a minute of meditation.

So we sit for a minute and we focus on the centre of the forehead because we are that beautiful energy and we're doing everything to focus on the good that's in us and treat others as souls and precious eternal beings.

And if we wake up early in the morning and remember that I am a soul,

A beautiful being of light energy,

It's like seeing that everyone was a pure,

Tiny baby,

Innocent and fresh.

So everyone I meet is a soul,

A being of energy,

A point of light.

If I could hold that awareness as much as possible throughout the day and see that each soul is a baby of the divine,

A child of the one above.

And each soul is full of the potential of peace,

Love and happiness.

Om Shanti.

Om Shanti.

Om Shanti.

Reviews

So grateful for your message of light!

This was good because I’m so self judge mental all the time then I say to others I’m good. I will be listening to this more thank you 😊