Blaming Is Toxic... So Learn To Stop It!

Blaming is the fine art of ‘off-loading’ and making others responsible for all the bad things happening to us. Blame does not change anything. Taking responsibility does! Take up the reins of responsibility in our own hands and take charge of our life. Blaming is a very toxic behaviour, Blame does not allow us to see the truth.

Transcript

Blame doesn't allow us to see the truth.

We remain stuck in the illusion that others are responsible for either bringing me happiness,

Peace or success.

In all the areas of my life and on all levels,

It's only if they'll like me,

And only if they're nice,

And only if they have power can they help me.

See,

We become helpless,

We become a victim.

We become a victim.

So,

We think they'll bring us peace or success in all the areas of my life and on all levels.

If we're waiting for other people to fix our life and make us happy,

The truth,

We will wait forever.

Because whoever we think has all got their own paths and their own troubles and their own things to cope with.

And they're doing the best they can with what they understand.

But they've not got a magic wand to lift everybody around them,

Although they might try through teaching and things like this.

But it's their human beings.

And we're also a human being.

So,

Raja Yoga encourages human beings to start going into their original nature of peace and thinking for themselves and taking the reins of their own lives.

And that is taking the reins of their thoughts,

Their words and their actions.

It's very simple.

And only if I do that for myself,

No one else can do it for me.

No one can go in there and say,

Oh,

Don't think that thought,

Oh,

Don't speak those words,

Oh,

Don't do that,

No,

You would just go.

It's only you who can do this.

So,

We would wait forever.

So,

Taking responsibility means to turn the mirror onto the self.

If I'm looking for blame,

I have to look at myself.

Because all of us,

It's a very fascinating and it's a way we've been brought up to gossip.

Sometimes you wouldn't be able to wait to say,

Oh,

I agree with you,

Oh.

We're trained to look for the weaknesses and talk about them and you all go away feeling.

We sorted that out anyway.

But we didn't sort anything out and we didn't sort ourselves out because we have not looked at our thoughts,

Our words and our actions.

If things are not working out in my life,

I need to ask myself,

What could I be doing differently or better?

What could I be doing?

Taking responsibility means to be the first to change.

I mean,

A whole group of people that usually you would be shoulder to shoulder with,

Or having a look at life and finding fault in everything.

It's good to teach yourself to either be silent or to move with a smile on your face.

Come back after that,

Put the conversations over and it might be another bit just as unpleasant to smile.

And just if they say,

Why are you not joining in?

You just go.

But you don't need to be part of it.

Because it's like being part of a group who are intent on destruction,

Destroying,

Destroying other people's character without looking at their own.

The very fact they're doing what they're doing.

It's not exactly a high character.

And if you're one of the ones that gossip,

People can't trust you.

And you also cannot trust yourself.

That's the part that's disturbing.

You cannot trust yourself.

Because you're ready again there to blame.

So we cannot change anything outside of our own self,

Whatever they do,

Whoever they talk about,

Whatever's happening.

I can't actually stop that.

What would it be like if I said,

Stop,

Stop?

You can't all gossip.

It's good to be there if it's to help to support other souls.

So in your mind,

We have to remember that each one of us,

Everyone,

So we mustn't now have bad feelings for people who gossip.

Because each one of us is on a personal journey.

It's up to each of us to see that I need to do something about this blaming.

And then we also have the habit of blaming ourselves,

Pulling our own selves down.

That's tragic actually.

So I wish,

Oh,

I could have,

Oh,

If only.

When did that happen?

Is it happening right now?

If it is,

What can I do about it?

If it's in the past,

Well,

That's how it was.

But now,

That's why we practice meditation.

To build up in ourselves,

In our power,

In our strength.

In our power,

In our strength.

I am the energy in the centre of my forehead.

And I'm the thinking energy.

And I put that energy out into the world through my words and my actions.

Aum Shanti.

We know our own weaknesses,

But we don't want to see them.

So if I find a weakness in others,

Then I don't need to look at my own.

And that means I've justified,

I'm not as bad as that,

Or,

Oh,

I'm not as bad as that.

That's why I can start to feel okay about myself because I'm seeing that they're not up to much.

They're not up to much.

They actually do this and do that.

And I don't do this.

And even if I do it just a little,

But they're really good for it.

So,

I feel so great.

That's why we do it.

It's like a strange way of being powerful.

I'm spending my time looking for faults in others.

I'm wasting that time looking for the faults in myself.

And also if I say the faults and really get into them and spread them,

I'm hurting them.

That's all.

I'm hurting them.

I'm causing them sorrow.

And after a while,

If we keep going,

People will dislike that one and dislike that one and dislike this other one and not trust them and be like this.

And they will all start really nitpicking on that,

Or they,

Souls.

And themselves will be like the creme de la creme,

Like the cream of the bunch,

You know.

They know everything that's going on.

It's all under their control,

Their power.

But you've lost so much power in yourself by doing that.

And whatever weaknesses are in you will be stronger and stronger and stronger until eventually at some point you'll be so weakened.

And you might not have the power after a while to look at yourself.

And that's what Rashokah is all about,

Looking at yourself.

And it's actually,

We could see it's a delight,

It's a delight to see a weakness in yourself.

It's like,

Oh,

I never noticed that little pest carried in there.

I never noticed I was doing that.

I'm so pleased to have seen that.

It's a spiritual law,

If you see it,

It releases you somehow.

It releases you from that pressure you were under,

From that particular.

Most weaknesses are small,

You know,

Little things.

But they create a huge burden.

Why are they difficult to spot?

Because we're so used to them we think it's ordinary.

We don't notice we have that weakness,

We don't notice we have something else.

We don't notice it.

And then when we see it,

It's like,

Out you come,

Away you go.

So it's very beneficial to see these things.

But it takes a peaceful nature and a desire to see them.

If you don't have the desire you'll not see anything.

You shouldn't exclude yourself from that group.

But you should think if it's someone that you like,

That they're gossiping about,

You should be able to say,

Oh,

I don't find them like that.

I think she's actually very,

She's going through a lot of stuff.

You could start to do something.

No,

You can say something,

But be careful as well.

Because sometimes people won't like the one that says something.

But then if you want to do the right thing,

You will say something carefully.

Okay,

So obviously there's lots of facets to all of that.

But the main thing is,

When I understand that,

If I have a look at myself,

I have a cheek to be trying to find fault in others.

I have a good lot of work to do sorting out the faults in myself.

And the other thing is,

If I'm finding faults in others,

I'm causing them pain.

And I'm causing damage there.

It's bad enough that they're not looking and they don't know they have these faults.

But for me to go in and start poking around at their faults,

I mean,

What kind of person does that make me?

It's like if someone's sick and I sort of take away their oxygen and go,

I'm not bothered what happens to you.

But if I care what happens to me,

I will also care what happens to others.

And I won't want to buy into certain situations that is wasting my time and have enough to look at that's not working for me,

Without looking at what's not working for someone else and not being nice about it hurting someone.

That's why.

Not a useful thing to do.

But it's a big habit.

Maybe we can think of things that,

If we love this sharing information,

It's something that seems to be everybody wants to do.

Try and think of at least reasonably good things to share.

And then you might find better things,

Better things,

Better things to share.

That it's useful to people to help them to uplift their life.

And then you're doing something useful in a way you're gossiping,

Spiritually gossiping in a way.

You're telling people something.

But it's better than seeing something negative and ignoring my own negativity.

So we've all got little facets.

You might think,

I'm not bad,

I'm not doing this,

I'm not doing that.

You'd be amazed how many little things.

And even in your actions you say,

Oh,

I think I'll just do that a little bit different.

See,

That's changing.

It wasn't a bad thing,

But oh,

I think this would save me energy.

I think if I do it that way it would be better.

Oh,

Here's another thing.

I think I wouldn't need that anymore.

So I'll not do that.

I'll change that all the way if I'm thinking in that way.

I can lift myself up.

Then I can have such a feeling of wanting to help others in the right way.

So there's no point in putting in a big dislike vibe.

That's us just blaming them,

Or talking about them blaming others.

And we're blaming them.

So it's a learning curve.

And I think once you see how precious it is to yourself to keep building peaceful energy in yourself,

Doing your best to accept people for what they are and who they are,

But it doesn't mean you to go there.

And that vibration can do a lot of good work.

Okay.

Om Shanti.

Om Shanti.

So just finishing with a moment of silence again.

The practice of soul awareness.

I bring my attention to the centre of my forehead.

And I rest my eyes on the centre of Sister Rose's forehead.

In the awareness that I am a soul.

I am a being of energy.

Constantly thinking.

And I can choose my thoughts.

I can choose the thoughts of kindness,

Lightness,

Benevolence,

Gentleness and peace.

And these thoughts create vibrations that go to every cell of my body and out into the world.

I am a peaceful soul.

Om Shanti.

Reviews

Insightful reminder that we are all flawed and we can raise our vibration by not gossiping