Welcome.
So happy you're with me today practicing.
I've been seeking creativity,
Expression over the last couple of days,
Wondering and listening for it in myself,
Seeking it in media,
In literature,
In poetry.
And this morning I picked up Julia Alvarez's poetry book,
The Other Side,
El Otro Lado.
And this book is lyrical poetry,
Beautiful about beginnings and endings,
Beginning again,
Memory,
Place,
Relationship,
Identity,
Loss of identity.
In a few lines at the end of one of the poems,
She writes,
I bailing,
Papito rowing steadily across the watery darkness to the shore I've made up on the other side.
And the punch of this line,
I bailing,
Papito rowing,
Steadily across the watery darkness to the shore I've made up on the other side.
Ooh,
It just really brings to light this idea of knowing and not knowing,
Being on the journey and surrendering to the mystery,
Understanding we've made something up on the other side.
The destination both clear and unclear.
I'm sitting with that line this morning in part,
I think,
Because I watched a documentary on Alanis Morissette last night,
Jagged Little Pill was a very important album to me as a teenager.
And I was thinking about the lyrics from one of the songs on that album,
Hand in My Pocket.
Many of us will remember the beginning of that song where the lyrics go,
I'm broke,
But I'm happy.
I'm poor,
But I'm kind.
I'm short,
But I'm healthy.
Yeah.
I'm high,
But I'm grounded.
I'm sane,
But I'm overwhelmed.
I'm lost,
But I'm hopeful,
Baby.
That beginning really captures this both and energy.
And yet the lines that most resonate for me today,
I'm free,
But I'm focused.
I'm green,
But I'm wise.
I'm hard,
But I'm friendly.
I'm sad,
But I'm laughing.
I'm brave,
But I'm chicken shit.
I'm sick,
But I'm pretty.
And what it all boils down to is that no one's really got it figured out just yet.
How powerful.
Something of those seeds of those lyrics were planted in me as a teenager,
And I'm grateful for that.
And the other piece that I've been reading and reflecting on this morning is the poetry of Emily Dickinson.
And I read something where she is said to have offered her definition of poetry in a conversation with her advisor and editor,
Thomas Wentworth Higginson.
She said to have said,
If I read a book and it makes my whole body so cold,
No fire can warm me.
I know that is poetry.
If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off,
I know that is poetry.
These are the only way I know it.
Is there any other way?
This is embodiment,
Right?
Embodied knowing that allows us and invites us to integrate,
Accept,
And transform our life on life's terms.
The things that speak to us in a deep embodied way that we hear,
That we know as containing a seed of truth.
I'm sharing these reflections and inspirations this morning because my meditation practice at its best invites me to listen to the poet within.
Listen in a way that sees,
Hears,
And knows the both and of life and longs to live in the messiness of that.
My practice at its best makes room for this embodied knowing,
For trust in it.
Makes room for the contradictions,
The disagreements,
The turmoil,
The knowing and the not knowing.
The having a sense that there's another side and knowing that on some level I've made it up.
The being told that there's another side and knowing that on some level it's been made up for me.
So I'm going to invite us to practice in this way today using the breath,
Using connection to the body as a guide,
But to practice in a way that embodies the wholeness of knowing and not knowing,
Of freedom and focus,
Of acceptance and action.
To pay attention to what the cues in your body,
Mind,
Spirit are.
What are the cues that you are connecting to this suchness of life itself.
And so with that let's begin our practice today.
Gathering yourself into a posture that supports you in your practice today.
Trusting in the intuition that might invite you to choose one kind of posture over another.
Reminding yourself that meditation is not one thing.
Sitting,
Standing,
Lying down,
Walking.
May your posture invite you to an alert attentiveness that is relaxed,
That is restful and alive.
Close your eyes if it supports your practice or soften your gaze.
Taking a few deep breaths as we begin at your own pace.
The invitation with the breath is to invite yourself to arrive,
To be present here right now.
No need to force a filling up or letting go with your breath.
Simply accepting that the natural rhythm of breathing,
Whatever that is for you right now,
Fills up and lets go.
Not needing to effort with that as you return to the steadiness of the rhythm of your breath in this moment.
As you return to the unsteadiness of the rhythm of your breath in this moment,
How might there be space for steadiness and unsteadiness?
Both and.
And bringing your focus to the breath if it feels supportive of you,
Perhaps we begin by just noting in breath,
Out breath,
In breath,
Out breath.
Inviting your attention to notice and honor the beginnings and the endings and the beginning again.
The non-efforting of breath,
The allowing of breath.
Sometimes when I bring my attention to the breath,
It becomes an efforting.
The mind takes over.
Invite you into the body if that's showing up for you.
Surrendering to the breathing that happens without the mind.
And if the breath is not serving you today,
If the breath feels activating or triggering in any way,
Invite you to connect to either contact with the earth,
The feeling of the body resting on the earth,
Or a sense of touch.
Sometimes the feeling of the hand on the leg or the hand on the heart.
That sensation of contact.
The non-efforting of the feeling of that contact.
The allowing it to be as it is.
To feel grounded and connected through it.
If you're new to the practice or if you find yourself getting distracted,
Hooked up in thinking,
A gentle reminder that there's nothing to figure out right now.
That the practice invites us to make space for what is.
To be present here and now.
That the body reminds us of that wisdom.
The invitation to return to the breath,
The contact,
As gateways to this body,
To this moment to what's here and now.
If it feels accessible to you,
See what happens if you expand your awareness from that focus point of contact or breath,
Opening up the space within and around you to make room for what's here,
Right now,
All of it.
Sensations,
Thoughts,
Emotions.
Not needing to search for those sensations,
Thoughts,
Or emotions.
Simply opening up our awareness to make room for all that is.
Allowing them to come,
To go,
To stick around,
To change.
Noticing,
Without judgment,
What's unfolding.
Allowing yourself to feel that noticing,
To dwell in a bigger awareness of what is.
To find ourselves in an awareness that need not strive for meaning,
That need not figure it out.
To connect into an awareness big enough to be with what is.
To accept and honor the complexity of that.
To tap in,
To forget,
To begin again.
As we bring this practice to a close,
I invite you either to take a few intentional,
Deep,
Long breaths and or to put your hand on your heart,
Wrap your arms around yourself,
Feel the loving contact of your body,
Touching your body,
Of the earth holding you beneath you,
This resting spot.
May you be present.
May you be alive.
May you trust knowing and not knowing,
Seeking and longing,
Beginnings and endings.
As you are ready,
If your eyes up and close,
You might open them up,
Might move or stretch your body.
Take a moment to look around your space.
See the colors,
The objects,
Locate yourself here.
Thank you all for practicing with me.
Till next time.
