For the following self-compassion meditation,
You'll be invited to work with a situation or scenario that has some difficulty for you in your life.
This might be a situation of personal challenge like chronic pain in the body or injury or illness.
It could be an interpersonal situation,
Some conflict or relationship challenge in your life,
Perhaps a difficult person or a difficult communication,
Or it could even be a larger societal condition,
Some situation that impacts you in a way that is challenging.
If this is your first time doing a practice like this,
It's very important to begin with something small and manageable.
So avoid choosing the most difficult situation or a situation in which you're likely to become overwhelmed or dysregulated.
If you do become overwhelmed,
It's okay to stop practicing,
To bring attention back to an anchor in the present moment,
And to use your orienting skills to re-establish safety in the body.
It's not useful to plunge ahead into dangerous waters without a lifeboat.
So once you've chosen a situation that's manageable and you have this situation in your awareness,
Bring attention to an anchor of your choosing,
Such as the breath,
Sound,
Or the sensations of gravity in the body.
Spend a few moments marinating here,
Memorizing this resource as a safe place for your attention.
Notice how the situation you've chosen shows up in the body.
There may be sensations of tensing or bracing or holding.
Maybe there's a change in the heart rate or a clenching of muscles in a particular part of the body,
Like the jaw,
Or sensations in your gut or your heart.
Notice the felt experience of this situation.
You might become aware of thoughts about the situation,
And as best you can,
Label these thoughts as thoughts,
And return your attention to the emotional experience as it's expressed in your body.
And if you become overwhelmed,
You can shift your attention back to your anchor,
Can even blink open your eyes if you need to.
You might also find that it's supportive to invite some gentle rocking or movement into the body as you deepen your investigation into this difficult situation.
And so let this scenario kind of play out in your awareness as you bring this investigative curiosity to how this experience is alive in the body.
See if you can identify the emotion you're feeling.
Is it sadness?
Grief?
Anger?
Frustration?
Give yourself permission to get curious about this emotion.
What's here?
How do you know you're feeling this emotion?
As you explore these sensations,
Start to soften around them.
Allow the light of your awareness to wrap around the sensations in your body that represent this difficult experience,
Like a warm hug.
You might even choose to place a hand on the heart or embrace yourself,
Letting these feelings soften.
You could even imagine that as you inhale,
You're breathing new oxygen into this area of difficulty and that as you exhale,
You're releasing what's no longer useful,
Softening around the sensations a little bit more with each out breath.
Now bring a quality of soothing to them.
Perhaps there's a way to offer yourself some kindness,
Being a caring,
Compassionate,
Wise witness to this experience of difficulty,
Just as if you were comforting a child.
As you bring this soothing quality of awareness to this scenario,
You might even notice that there's some memory from long ago.
Some experience that you know about.
Maybe this difficulty has been with you for some time.
As you wrap this soothing parenting awareness around this difficulty,
Acknowledge that this is a wounded place.
This hurts.
You can offer some words to this wounded part,
Like,
I'm right here with you.
I see you.
I've got you.
This is really hard.
And it may be supportive now,
If you haven't already,
To bring a hand to your heart.
Or to the belly.
And to offer yourself a gesture of holding and being held.
Put the hands on the body,
Letting the hands say to the heart,
It's okay to feel this way.
Your feelings are real.
These feelings belong here.
This experience is welcome.
Really allow yourself to have this experience.
Let the breath expand into these sensations,
Inviting just a little more space for them.
And say,
Yes,
This is here.
This is a part of me.
This feeling belongs.
And when you're ready,
Release this experience of difficulty as the object of attention,
And return attention back to the sensations of gravity in the body.
Become aware of the pressure where the body touches the surface.
And notice the support that's available from the ground,
Or the chair,
Or the cushion.
See if you can't feel it.
Allow yourself to be held here in loving awareness,
Just for a moment longer.
Now shift attention back to the breath,
Giving yourself permission to take three full breaths all the way in and out.
Fully attending to the movement of air into and out of the body.
What did you notice as you brought the difficult situation into your awareness?
What emotions showed up?
And how did you meet them?
What do you notice now as you reflect upon this practice?
How might you build intentional pauses to soften,
Soothe,
And allow into your workday?
