Thank you for being here.
My name is Rianna.
I'm a serial entrepreneur,
Full-time traveler,
Happily married,
And childless.
Not by choice.
I grew up in a family with eight children.
Three of them were my younger brothers,
While the other four belonged to families for whom my mother was babysitting,
Days and sometimes nights and weekends.
So at the age of seven,
As the oldest,
I helped my mother feed the children,
Put them to sleep,
And I came up with fun ways to entertain them.
I loved it.
At the age of 12,
My neighbors asked if I could help them with their newborn baby.
The mother was still recovering,
But the father had to return to work.
I spent my entire summer vacation at their house,
Taking care of that little baby girl.
I loved it.
At the age of 17,
I started my bachelor's degree in education and I stood in front of classes with over 30 students.
My parents would often approach me,
Asking for tips on dealing with their son or daughter's teenage behavior.
I loved it.
At the age of 24,
I took a job as an au pair for three boys,
Two,
Four,
And six-year-old,
In Paris.
I cared for them as if they were my own,
And I drove them everywhere,
From school to music lessons,
Gymnastics,
And karate.
I loved it.
At the age of 27,
I traveled to Nepal,
Where I taught at various local schools and I worked to improve the living conditions and future opportunities for Nepalese children.
I spent my days surrounded by children.
I loved it.
A few years later,
I became a postpartum doula,
And not long after,
A child sleep coach.
At the age of 29,
I was ready for my own baby.
At the age of 30,
I was ready for my own baby.
At the age of 31,
I was ready for my own baby.
At the age of 32,
I was ready for my own baby.
At the age of 33,
I was ready for my own baby.
At the age of 34,
I was ready for my own baby.
At the age of 35,
I was done.
We live in a society where perseverance and determination are often praised as the most important qualities a person can have.
We celebrate those who defy all odds to achieve their goals and admire those who are resolute and persistent.
They are often seen as role models for others.
But while these qualities are certainly admirable,
There is also a dark side to this cultural value of perseverance that we don't often talk about.
The truth is,
When we cling to the mentality of never give up,
We can easily lose ourselves in the pursuit of our goals.
We push ourselves to the limit and ignore our own health and well-being.
We forget that success is not just about achieving our dreams,
But is also about finding balance and taking care of ourselves along the way.
Quitting is not always a sign of weakness,
But sometimes a sign of courage and self-awareness.
Sometimes it's the best decision we can make to protect our own well-being and continue our lives in a healthy way.
I've personally experienced how difficult it can be to make the decision to stop something that I wanted so badly.
But after 6 attempts of IUI and 3 attempts of IVF,
After spending tens of thousands of dollars and having my relationship being severely tested,
I had mentally and physically exhausted myself in that time of 6 years.
The pressure to continue with fertility treatments and not give up was overwhelming,
But stopping?
That was my act of self-love.
Believe me,
That was the hardest decision of my life.
Thank you so much for listening.
I'm here to remind you that your journey is valid,
Your emotions are valid and that you are not alone.
You can follow me here on Insight Timer for more talks on living this unexpected life.
