Guided Meditation 13.
1 Holding a Craving with Gentleness and Open Curiosity.
First of all,
Notice that you are experiencing a craving.
In this moment of craving,
Invite a new response.
While remaining aware of the craving,
Start to breathe and bring your resonating Self-witness into relationship with both your attention and your craving.
See what the actual sensations of this craving are.
At first,
When you step into this invitation,
You may think that your craving is just in your head and that it is unbearable and irresistible,
That you might actually explode or die if you do not get the substance that you are longing for.
How does this craving speak in your body?
As you breathe,
How does this extreme wanting and this drive make itself known?
Sometimes it is a heart-centered sensation.
Sometimes it is in the face near the jaw.
Sometimes it is in the gut.
Sometimes it's a full-body impulse.
As your body experiences this craving,
Ask it if it is trying to take care of you.
Does it want to take care of your anxiety?
Does it want to gird you against times of scarcity and lack?
Is it trying to divert your attention from the pervasive sense of panic and emptiness?
Is it trying to give you a way to survive a shame that might drown you?
Wherever you find sensations,
Ask yourself if this sensation were an emotion,
What would it be?
Loneliness,
Fright,
Irritation,
Hopelessness,
And what would the truths that underlie these emotions be?
Are you exhausted and longing for warm support to float you effortlessly through your life?
Would it be lovely to have a magic cloud personally dedicated to your every comfort and success?
Do you feel helpless in the face of the complexity of your days and do you wish for simplicity and ease?
Would you like to know the exact next best step for you and the people you love and the best step after that?
Do you long for an assurance of safety?
Do you need to survive shame?
And even saying that,
Do you need acknowledgement for how delicately balanced everything is?
How fragile your life and the lives of the people you care about are?
Would it be sweet even for one instant to have someone else actually understand everything that you are holding and balancing and the care you take with it all?
Come back to your body and see what is happening now with your sensations,
Your emotions,
And your needs.
Follow this emotional trail where it leads you,
Noticing that you can use any of the processes you have learned so far.
If you find that you are telling yourself a harmful belief about the self,
Follow it.
If you find a painful memory,
Allow your resonating self-witness to move back into the memory with gentleness and care and understanding,
Again following body sensations with feelings and needs guesses.
As your body relaxes,
Take this opportunity to implement whatever self-care approaches work best for you in relation to your addiction,
Whether that is calling someone in your support network,
Starting your mindfulness meditation,
Moving out for exercise,
Implementing distraction strategies,
Or anything else that supports you.
As we come to the end of this meditation,
Allow yourself to just hold yourself as tightly as you need to be held and to hold yourself with such gentleness and gratitude for your willingness to even engage in this meditation for one moment when the craving is so strong.
And with deep gratitude and humility,
Allow your resonating self-witness to stand beside you in this moment.
