Deep Healing Meditation #4 - Connecting With Source

This guided meditation is the 4th of a series of Deep Healing meditations. In this offering, I focus on energetic reconnection and healing of abandonment wounds through connection with life source.

Transcript

Hello and welcome.

The following is a guided meditation by Renee Seals,

A somatic movement educator,

Energy worker,

And astrologer.

This meditation is intended to help support your embodied meditation practice.

If in the recording you are prompted to do something that doesn't feel good for your body,

Please adapt and modify to make it work for you.

Please also note that the content of this meditation sometimes explores deep and subtle states and memories,

And sometimes guided visualizations.

You are encouraged to work with discernment as you practice with them.

If any of the guidance Renee offers feels too activating or uncomfortable,

Please listen to your body's knowing and pause the recording until a later time if you wish to return to it.

These guided meditations range anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes and do not require any supplementary equipment to participate.

We hope you enjoy.

Hello everyone and welcome.

This is Renee and I'm happy to offer another in this series of deep healing somatic meditations.

It's a series I've been working on not because I had plans to but just because it keeps coming up for the last couple of weeks that when I think about what I want to offer for the meditation it is some kind of layer of pain relief that I'm sensing that I want to kind of work with.

This week the thing that keeps coming up for me is abandonment issues.

Abandonment issues of course are personal stories that we have about being left,

Being abandoned,

But then there is also a deeper abandonment issue that I might identify as the loss of connection to source.

Source is like a new age word that you might have heard people talk about like connecting to source and what does it mean.

For me what that means is the life source itself and it is something that is beyond my capacity to describe in words but it exists in the spaces of relationship that are between all things.

So between the trees and the air,

Between the air and your body,

Between one part of your body and the next part of your body,

Between your body and the body of your love,

Between our human bodies and animals and all of us here on the planet and everything else that's out in space.

In those spaces of relationship there's always exchange that's happening and exchange could be something that is particle bound and explained by science.

Your skin is falling off of you all the time like your dead skin cells and they float off into the air and they become dust and part of atmosphere and something that is in the material of the world that you share with other people.

It's kind of maybe a gross example but you know the air is like that.

We're constantly recycling oxygen and carbon dioxide with other animals and plant friends.

So there's this kind of exchange that's always happening,

The exchange of elements and then there's the exchange of influence.

So wherever you are flavors the way that you dress,

Want to express yourself,

What you value,

How you prioritize,

Etc.

And then of course your unique expression of your interests,

Their synthesis,

Becomes part of the culture that you live in.

So it's coming into you and then you're feeding it.

And those are different things,

Right?

Like we change each other.

And the space of exchange currently feels not magical on the earth a lot of times.

There's not a lot of reverence or awe for these relationships or the way that we share in them and thus it's become something that is commodified and bargained with and exploited and stolen and kind of taken for granted.

So when I say there's a loss of connection to source,

What I'm talking about is the experience that many people have which is a loss of place.

We live in a time when it's really common to move maybe very far away from where you grew up and maybe your parents or grandparents or great-grandparents have moved as well.

So there's a lot of transience in our histories and in general the world we live in now is not one that tends to and nurtures relationship with land.

It exploits the land and so many of us have suffered a loss of connection to the natural world.

And if you live in an urban environment this is probably true.

Even if you live in a rural environment if you're very much affected by the digital revolution or by industrialized agriculture there's still a loss of connection.

And of course climate change is happening as well and that's I think a big part of many people's anxiety feeling that shift.

So many ways that we're disconnected and severed from one another,

From ourselves,

From our internal experiences,

Which ones we're allowed to have,

Which ones we're not,

How we're socialized,

Etc.

And then of course this severance from a greater environmental whole.

So that's a lot of abandonment issues that everybody is dealing with.

Even if it's just on an unconscious plane.

And then of course there are the personal stories on top of that and you know what they are for you.

And something that should be mentioned is that when there's cumulative grief or trauma that something can happen and trigger a response to the moment.

So maybe you get ditched on a date or something and it kind of like triggers a rejection or abandonment response.

And it's not such a big deal but if you're carrying a lot of weight around other issues of loss and abandonment then all of that will come flooding forwards and out.

And that can be pretty overwhelming and hard to know what to do with.

And I just want to posit that I think a lot of people are experiencing deep grief and abandonment right now and feeling disconnected in many ways.

So this is a guided meditation for connecting and what we're connecting to is the life source or source that is the fabric of everything around us.

And you can take that to be like as woo-woo or as practical as you want.

I'm going to take it as a kinesthetic or somatic experience and that's what we'll try now.

Okay so as usual these meditations are offered in whatever physical space that they work for you.

So if you are listening to this while you're driving home from work or if it's in your earbuds and you're taking a walk,

If you're lying down,

If you're in a dance studio somewhere,

If you're doing a yoga practice,

If you're seated at your desk and you know working while you listen to this it's great.

Please let your body respond in the way that feels authentic to you.

And there is my only kind of suggestion that if it's possible for you to listen in some kind of private space or space that's safe and shared space for you to just kind of be expressive,

That might be the best.

Because I know for me speaking these meditations I often kind of like want to move my body around and when I listen to other guided meditations if they're a somatic emphasis I often really want to move around too.

So that you know isn't always the easiest on the bus.

But wherever you are it's good and we're just going to start by intentionally starting.

And what that looks like for me is closing my eyes.

If it's comfortable for you go ahead and do that.

If you'd rather keep your eyes open then feel your eyeballs can kind of get soft and you're just not really focusing on anything and more taking in the periphery.

And there's nothing to gain from looking at anything.

And then let that sense of kind of open field of awareness travel into your forehead and into your temples,

Down into your cheekbones,

And across the skin of your face.

Feel your mouth and your nose relax.

And let your tongue and your teeth relax.

And as we relax the ears and the scalp you're also just relaxing any need to communicate anything through expression,

Any need to pay attention even to my voice.

You can kind of just let it drift in and out.

And then let that sense of kind of generous withdrawing move down,

Melt down through your whole body.

So the experience is just noticing where in your body there's a readiness or an anticipation or a waiting for something to happen.

And inviting it to simply be.

Allow your belly and all the way down your spine to do this as well.

So there is a sensation of like normalcy.

Not the normative posture but just like,

Ah this can be really difficult to do.

But just like,

Ah this can be relaxing and there's nothing to do.

Really important if you have a seated meditation and your experience of your seat is like,

You know,

I'm going to sit up straight.

For now just feel that your spine can simply be itself and just notice what it does.

Okay and then let that sense of withdrawing kind of move through your pelvis and your legs.

And when I say withdrawing the thing that I mean is withdrawing awareness from the external world and bringing the awareness into the internal world.

So you feel what it feels like in the soles of your feet and you feel what it feels like in the joints of your knees.

And you feel what it feels like to rest upon whatever surface of gravity that you have underneath you.

And then we'll start to take just some more intentional and possibly deep breaths.

And you can let your awareness shift into the sensation of your breath.

And as you inhale,

Notice the pathway of your breath from the outer world to your inner space.

Notice how your breath fills your body and communicates.

Notice where your breath touches you inside.

And sometimes when I breathe I feel my breath in my fingertips or my forehead and you might feel your breath anywhere in your body.

It's not so much where your lungs are as much as just the movement of your breath and what's receptive to it in that moment.

If it's comfortable for you to sigh audibly,

Go ahead and do that.

And you can relax your mouth and jaw and you might even let any sound come out that feels good.

When we sigh there's a physiological actual nervous system response to sighing that tells our brains and our beings that we can relax and that we're away from the need to pay attention.

So it stimulates the parasympathetic response which is the rest and the digest mode.

So sighing is good for you.

You can take deep breaths in and just let out the sigh with any sound or any gush of breath.

Okay so now what I want you to do is bring your attention to the space at the center of your body.

And for me that's that place feels like it's just above my belly button and central between my front and back and left and right.

For you it might feel somewhere else.

So when I say bring your attention to the center of your body,

Let my words guide your awareness into the center of your body.

And wherever your awareness goes,

Trust that.

And then you can let your attention go.

And start to direct your breath into that place so that as you inhale your inhalation wraps around the center of your body.

And as you exhale the center of your body kind of radiates all the way out into the space around you.

So you might imagine like an eminence or radiation from this center 360 degrees and in a kind of spherical halo.

And take a couple of breaths like that inhaling into your center and then exhaling letting the center expand and move out and encompass you.

And the image that I have in my head right now is that you are floating in a bubble and the bubble is your center that's enlarged all the way around you.

And then inside of you your center is glowing.

So if that image is interesting to you,

You can use it.

You can imagine as you inhale that the inhale feeds the glowing quality of your center in your body.

And then as you exhale that glow and that eminence radiates out creating a kind of spherical container around you in any size.

So there is this really amazing quality to all of your cells,

The cells in your body,

That know that they belong to you.

Right?

So like somehow your bone cells not only know that they're bone cells but they know that they're your bone cells and somehow the cells in your skin know that they're your skin.

And of course we can do like grafts and transplants now but that's something that's an intervention and it doesn't always even take.

And so what I want you to do is in this visualization of you at the nucleus of your own center and kind of capsule,

Just imagine every cell in your body is kind of like this.

So cells have different shapes but in general there's the membrane and the nucleus.

And the nucleus is at the center and what it does is it transforms energy.

So nutrients come through the membrane wall of the cell and into the cellular fluid and then the nucleus eats it basically,

Consumes it,

Burns it up,

Transforms it.

There's byproduct and that byproduct releases into the cellular fluid and then moves through the membrane and then goes out into the interstitial fluid and gets picked up by the blood or something else.

So as you inhale and exhale your breath and as you breathe into your own center you might kind of imagine whatever it is,

This mystical center of your being that has collected your body around it.

And then you might feel the sphere around you,

Kind of your personal space,

Your container,

Your essence that takes up space around you and feel that.

Okay and so what I want you to feel here is that there are layers of protection.

There are boundaries and this membrane around you,

Your glowing halo eminence around you is just like a cell membrane and there's some discernment in it so it can decide what it wants to take in and it can decide what it doesn't want to.

And so take a couple of breaths and feel that discernment quality and just trust that it's there.

See if you can inhale into your own center and then as you exhale let the exhale expand your center into this sphere around you and imagine it as a container that's protective and loving and it has your best interest in mind.

Okay so this container is kind of like a parent figure.

It's like the best parent.

It has your best interest in mind.

It's really loving.

It wants you to have pleasure and satisfaction.

It wants you to be free from harm and as we start to sense the everythingness around us there's a lot to pick up out there you know and doing meditations like this can sometimes increase a lot of sensitivity.

So I want to begin in a way that gives you the power to decide what you want to feel and what you want to pass on.

And it also engages an idea of protection that's around you and that idea is something that you might also now infuse with any protective feeling things that you work with.

So if you're someone who believes in angels you might call on your angels.

If you're someone who has like a pet that you loved and is now passed on but you kind of imagine that the spirit of that pet is still with you you might call on them.

If you're someone who believes in yourself and your ability to discriminate then call on your intelligence and feel whatever that essence is also infusing and holding this container.

So you have your own intelligence,

You have this kind of feeling,

You have your own intelligence,

You have this kind of magical mystical intelligence of a imaginary membrane,

And then you have the request to your helpers and higher selves.

Okay and so what I want to invite now is an awareness of your history and I like to feel this as the earth so as whatever is underneath and you might bring all of your attention into this space where you meet the earth into your contact with the ground for a moment and feel gravity.

And gravity is this amazing force that works through our bodies but also works through the earth and of course where the earth is a body as well and she has her own mass and we have ours but the gravity that moves through our bodies is the same we're just a lot smaller than she is so we stick to her and you might feel that as a relationship right now that the earth has a pull on us but we also pull ourselves to her.

Okay and see if you can invite a sense of trust into your relationship with the ground and you might imagine how you can trust that your body was grown from the earth so all of the elements that you've ever consumed in some way or another have their origin here.

Your genetics,

The way that your body has formed into the shapes and the colors and the capacities that it has have to do with earth and the bodies that have come from earth that are your earth that are your ancestors and you might feel their presence in the earth knowing that at least some part of them their physical bodies when they passed from this realm to whatever is next those bodies again became part of the earth and therefore those bodies became part of the food and the water that you have consumed.

Okay so we remember that life begets life begets life and matter,

Material,

It's the same root as mother and here we're just connecting to the great mother and her energy,

This planet,

Is really fertile and creative and it's loving and it's also possessive and sometimes really chaotic and all kinds of things but if you kind of imagine the bounty and the kind of just unspeakable majesty of the earth all of its beauty the way that it continues to create that it continues through geological time to form itself again and again and again and again you can just connect to that age that ancestry and all that it has been including all the people and all the animals and all the plants and the mountains and the oceans.

Now from the part of your body that is touching gravity that is touching the ground I want you to imagine kind of a movement upwards and so it's almost like steam coming off of a hot pavement or something it's just this like dissipation and movement upwards that earth energy is traveling from where your body meets it all the way up through all of your tissues and you can feel it and you can feel it permeating upwards from the place where you're in the most contact into the spaces of your body where you feel gravity and density into the spaces of your body where you feel pull or like something is kind of suspended in space into the spaces of your body that are actively reaching upwards or floating upwards depending on where you are and what you're doing.

Okay so all the way out of the parts of your skin and other areas whatever is moving up towards the heaven you can feel earth energy rising all the way up into those spaces of your body and then even out of your body and continuing up all the way above you.

And so as earth energy is rising up there's kind of this complete earth energy that is moving in and around the capsule that contains you and what's coming into the capsule that contains you is all of the source material that will feed you now.

So there's some kind of knowing and trusting that you're in the right lineage for whatever reasons you're in it that you are the person right now to be carrying whatever it is forwards and that includes challenge and healing as well as intelligence and evolution.

So you might imagine all of the past that has ever happened all of the coming together the birthing the forming the dying and it's all rising up from the ground and kind of floating upwards into space and it's floating into all of our bodies and it's floating into your body and what is floating into your body is perfect for you and that capsule and that bubble around you is very wise and it's discerning.

And in these next couple of breaths I want you just to notice what feelings come up when I say whatever is coming into you is right for you and I want to acknowledge that many of us come from ancestry and lineage that's deeply painful and that for many of us we might have had the experience of being in the right lineage for the past few years.

So I want to acknowledge that we might have had the experience of asking why do I get this?

If that sentiment arose in you can you simply meet it and open your heart with a lot of love to all the experiences that have come before yours and there's a resting and acknowledgement that suffering is all the time and everywhere that the unique threads of suffering that have wound themselves into your roots are not given to you because it's your job to amend them but they're given to you because you have something that can work with them.

You have something that can inform and start to reform.

So all of us are here doing the work of dharma and the work of dharma is clearing karma right?

We work with the influences of the past constantly and decisions that have been made and tragedies that have happened and it's something that forms us and that's what we're doing.

Something that forms us and so as you feel the forces that are coming up into you,

You acknowledge that there is an ancestry that carries many things and you can also feel for the brilliance,

For the love and the capacity for connection.

Whatever you connect to that gives you pride that feels like a gift or an anchor.

So feeling the forces of the past moving from below infusing you knowing that whatever is coming into you is perfect for you to be working with the challenges and the opportunities,

The suffering and the joy.

So let's follow that movement now all the way up into the heavens and at some point let your awareness disperse and open up and expand and it's like you're reaching out branches a big crown of a tree or a big crown on your head and in that crown the sky is pouring in and feel the sense of spaciousness around you above you.

Feel the vastness of air that moves in every direction.

Feel the emptiness of space that moves in the places where air cannot.

Imagine your kind of threads or your aura,

Your eminence glowing all the way up and moving out into the stars and into that huge mysterious unknown where the smallness of our lives is kind of incomprehensible.

So let's go back to our mind and then start to imagine how the space above you is pouring down into you and it's pouring into whatever parts of your body are the highest,

The crown of your head,

The skin on your face,

Whatever is ascending right now.

The space above and around you is meeting it and then starting to pour in and it's meeting your container,

Meeting your skin and moving through you and moving through you and you feel the influences of everything you can't control like how many times the planet has gone around the sun,

The era that it is right now,

The atmosphere,

Whatever name you use for God,

The spiritual plane and the space where whatever you believe in exists and that could be simply ether or some kind of divine intelligence or your ancestors sacred imprints and spiritual beings.

But that's what's pouring in now from above and as it pours in again there's discernment in the container,

In the membrane,

There's discernment in your skin and you know that whatever you're receiving is the right guidance.

And you know that whatever you're receiving is the right guidance,

Is the right blessing,

Is the right wisdom,

High mind wisdom,

The soul level perspective.

So all of that is pouring in from above and as it pours in it moves all the way down into your base and whatever part of you is meeting the ground and then it continues to pour past that point and into the earth and through the earth and out the other side.

And then see if you can feel both at the same time the earth energy rising into your base,

Floating and spreading upwards and outwards into your crown and into the heavens.

And at the same time the heavens are pouring down into you through your crown and through your body and into your base.

And both directions are happening simultaneously and at the same speed.

And both directions are happening simultaneously and at the same speed.

So the repetition of our eras,

Right,

We keep kind of going around a lot of the same things.

You might feel how the past informs the future and the sense of spiritual purpose informs the present sense of home.

And then we'll let our awareness move into the fronts and the backs of our bodies and feel that here.

So you feel that from all the way behind you there's the rush of time traveling into your back body and moving you forwards and you might imagine just,

You know,

It's like still shots of all of your actions in the last hour kind of trailing back behind you and then imagine that for every day and every year and every decade.

Residue and imprints and shadows.

And even just a second ago when I started talking about that,

It's already a shadow so you feel the force and the speed of time behind you.

You feel the force and the speed of time behind you.

And then in your front body,

The same feel the force and the speed of time coming into your front and rippling out,

Enlarging out and radiating into the back body and into all the space behind you.

And as you're confronted with the future there is always a synthesis that we're given new information whether it's just our body's aging and the news of the next day or our spiritual evolution that grows with our awareness and self-understanding but the future floods in as the past expresses forwards and you can just feel those streams coming through you and you might imagine here as well your boundary and container.

And feeling the force of the past can be a lot of things but you might ask to feel supported and ask to connect to the residue and the imprints of your past that will best inform you right now,

That carry wisdom that you might have already forgotten but you'll remember again someday.

And then you can feel the flooding of the future the forward movement into you and ask that you're shown the right opportunities,

That what opens before you is exactly right.

You'll feel a sense of welcoming and also of humbleness.

A lot of us,

You know,

We're always waiting for the perfect moment but the perfect moment will never arrive and so there's the gesture here of opening to the future as it is knowing that we'll always be resolving something and trusting that whatever we're given is the right place for us to work.

And then feel out through your right and your left bodies and feel yourself streaming out in both directions.

And then feel the left and the right bodies streaming into you.

And you might feel kind of pulled one way or another for a bit and if you notice that there is a lot more energy coming in or out on the right then let that spill into and teach the left.

And here we simply recognize our influences and the movement of attraction and aversion which is part of this space between things where gravity is attractive,

Right,

And yet we work to kind of propel ourselves from it.

So we merge,

We come together,

We push away,

We break apart,

Our bodies collide in space and other humans come out of those collisions.

We meet with our interests and curiosities and then create from those spaces.

So in the meeting of the left and the right can you simply feel your interests and kind of the way that you're pulled and molded by them.

What's given to you,

What's shown to you,

What is innate and essential to you,

And let them flow in and towards and through each other the right and the left sides.

And now let's try and feel it all at once.

So from the earth to the heavens,

From the heavens to the earth,

From the back to the front,

From the front to the back,

From the left to the right,

And from the right to the left that there are just these streams that are flowing through you.

The earth energy,

The material form,

The sky energy,

The mystery of life and essence,

The capacity for creation and activity that you have in your past,

The unknown future,

And the kind of sense of possibility that you can fall forwards into,

All the influences that are available to you,

Your attractions,

Your aversions,

Your likes and dislikes.

That's all part of source.

It's the way that we come together,

The way that we meet and know ourselves and lose ourselves and find ourselves again.

And then in all of that and all of the movement of those streams again,

Feel your own center and the radiance that emanates from that space,

Creating this aura and the eminence around you.

And you might imagine in this kind of now star-like shape of light just flowing through in all directions,

That right at the center of it is the hottest and the brightest,

Right at your center.

And in a corona,

In a halo around the center,

There's kind of a protective globe that contains and builds the light and feeds it back into the center that measures and brings in what is exactly right for the center and that offers and expresses what the center can give.

So you feel yourself as the source as well.

So let's close by just kind of honoring this image of yourself as a being that is emanating in all directions with the strongest eminence coming right into your own center and that center expanding out and radiating into all the space around you.

And then you might also imagine like all the people and the beings that you're sharing space with now,

Anyone else that's in this,

You know,

Literally the building that you're in or something or the town or the city or your family and chosen family and constellations of folks who you care about.

And let's just kind of imagine that everyone is like this glowing radiant eminence,

Star being.

And there's the gesture of Namaste where we kind of acknowledge that light personally and then feel the awe and the wonder and the gratitude of the light of the other beings around us.

And you might feel now the the touch and the radiance of them also streaming into you from all directions.

And then your radiance streaming out and meeting and warming all of your relations.

Okay,

I'm going to end this meditation here and you're welcome to keep practicing if you like and take this wherever you want to.

So thank you so much for listening and for practicing.

If you enjoy these meditations,

Please share them and if it's possible for you,

Please consider donating.

I love to be able to offer this work for free and I want it to be accessible.

It's also a good amount of time and energy so if that's possible for you,

It's helpful for me.

Even a couple of dollars here and there or a monthly donation.

Thank you.

Wishing all of you the best and sending love and my thoughts are with you all.

And all right everyone,

Thanks for listening and bye for now.

Reviews

Absolutely incredible. Was profoundly healing for me. Thank you! Namaste🙏

To date, I have practiced Deep Healing Meditation #1, #2, and #4 (could not find #3; does it exist?), and I plan to practice #5 tomorrow. I was not specifically looking for these meditations, and they were so different from the approximately 100 other meditations I have practiced. I imagine that you were sent to me as a gift that I did not know I needed. I know that as I repeat these meditations, more illuminating insights await me. Thank you for your offerings, and many blessings to you and your loved ones.