Lack Of Time, Reality Or Self-Imposed Rule?

These days, time is becoming the most precious commodity. It often feels like we're constantly running after it, yet it remains elusive.
Many of us find ourselves saying, 'I don't have time,' and use it as a way to justify why we don't prioritize ourselves or why we've stopped doing the things we used to love. But is this our reality, or have we unknowingly fallen into the trap of a self-imposed rule or a coping mechanism?

Join us as we dive deep into the concept of time scarcity, explore its underlying causes, and learn ways to reprioritize ourselves and regain our energy.

Transcript

Hi,

I'm your host Aurelie and today we are diving deep into a topic that many of us can relate to,

The feeling of not having enough time.

So many women I meet say,

I never have enough time,

I don't have time to exercise,

I used to love going to yoga but I don't do it anymore,

I have to take care of my kids,

I have so many things to do.

I think you get what I mean here,

Right?

How many of us,

After having kids or settling into family life,

Somehow let slip away of things we used to absolutely love.

Somehow we convince ourselves that we just don't have time anymore.

But is this our reality or have we unknowingly fallen into the trap of a coping mechanism or a self-imposed rule masking a deeper underlying story?

This is what I invite you to explore today.

Let's begin by acknowledging a fundamental reality in today's world.

With the advance of technology and also the increased cost of living,

For many it's necessary for two people to work now in order to make ends meet.

And so we have become busier than ever before.

Our to-do lists these days seem never-ending and there's always more to do than we have time for.

But have you ever stopped to consider the real pressure behind all this?

Are we,

In some way,

Creating more stress for ourselves than necessary?

Why do we feel so flustered by this to-do list to the point sometimes of being exhausted and depleted and still not being able to press pause?

And so that's often a clear sign that something is missing in the picture here.

So let's explore three underlying reasons for this perceived lack of time.

First,

Let me introduce you to the pusher,

The one that likes to rush you around,

The one that makes you think about the next task when you're already in the middle of one,

The one that constantly reminds you there's just more to do.

So the pusher is not an external force or an external person,

But it's a part of our inner selves,

A deeply ingrained aspect of who we are.

It developed early on.

It's the one that got us to strive for good marks at school because we didn't like the look of disappointment on our parents' face.

It's the one that got us to work all night to succeed in our exams.

The pusher is the motivating force behind what we do.

Its primary job is to push us to achieve,

To meet goals and expectations.

The pusher believes that more is always better.

It's born from this culture of productivity,

From this society where those who achieve more or have more are often perceived as having more value.

The problem is that the pusher is never satisfied.

It constantly drives us to reach the next level,

Achieve more,

Accumulate more accomplishments.

And this perpetual pursuit of more can leave us feeling trapped in a never-ending cycle of busyness and unfulfillment.

And perhaps now that I've painted the picture of the pusher,

Some of you may already recognize them in this persona.

And so to assess whether the pusher is strong in your life,

I invite you to consider your daily life,

All the things you have to do,

That constant busyness.

What would happen if you stopped?

What would happen if you only did half?

How would that make you feel?

And for many people I work with,

Including myself,

Because I'm still on the journey myself,

Sometimes the mere thought of slowing down or doing less can trigger big feelings of unease and anxiety.

We may believe that nothing will get done,

Things will fall apart,

We're not going to meet our partner's expectation,

And we're going to face criticism.

And so these feelings and reactions are a clear indicator of a strong pusher within.

But when we dig deeper underneath those feelings,

That anxiety,

We often find that there are deeper rooted beliefs around not feeling useful or feeling unworthy.

And that often our sense of worth is connected to how much we do,

How much we produce,

How much we provide.

But I think that's really what creates a big disconnect within ourselves.

We are way more than the sum of what we do,

And it's really easy to lose ourselves in the never-ending to-do list.

One aspect into recalibrating our relationship with productivity and busyness is to recognize the presence of the pusher,

And also explore our sense of self-worth.

Are we really what we do,

Or is there another possible perspective here?

So here I wanted to share some beautiful intentions or reminders that you can use throughout the day when you catch yourself in the loop of wanting to do more.

And I invite you to receive them now and see how they feel in your body,

How much more space can be created.

My favorite one is,

I am enough.

It is safe for me to slow down.

It is safe for me to focus on me.

The second aspect I wanted to explore today is really specific to women.

And if you are a mom,

And if you have a career,

A job,

You will probably relate to this.

Women,

We often carry a legacy of self-sacrifice.

We are moms,

Partners,

All-around superheroes.

And we often find ourselves putting our own desires on hold in a pursuit of caring for others.

For some of us,

There is a deep-seated feeling of obligation to be there all the time,

To prioritize family or household responsibilities above everything else.

There might be this constant worry that if we are not present 100% of the time,

Our children's education may suffer,

Or they may miss out on essential experience.

And sometimes it's our own childhood story here,

The own childhood story of an absent parent probably,

That resurface,

Making us feel guilty even when our kids haven't explicitly asked for more of our time.

Here I'd like to remind you that it's crucial to remember that life is all about balance.

And there is this fine line between trying to be there all the time,

And really self-sacrificing for our family,

And never being there.

And I'm sure you are not in the later category.

And everyone has their own sense of what that balance may look like.

But I firmly believe that it's not about quantity when it comes to our kids.

It's about quality.

Children often mirror the emotions and behaviors of their parents.

So if you find happiness and grounding within yourself through activities like an hour of yoga,

Walking in nature,

Or simply reading a book,

Going to a cafe,

You are here sending your kids a powerful message.

You're showing them that taking care of yourself is just as important as caring for others.

And this is a lesson that can resonate deeply and positively impact their own lives as they grow.

And also when you do these things for yourself,

You can be more present when you are with them and not thinking about a thousand things.

Because you're going to be more grounded within yourself.

Your mind is going to be more quiet.

And so it's going to be easier for you to be present with them.

So here,

Remember that if you find yourself in that category of not having time because you feel obliged to,

Or you feel guilty,

This is where you need to dig further.

These are the things you need to clear so that you can create more space for yourself.

Now I wanted to introduce you to the third point of what I want to share today,

Which is those time draining habits that sneak into our lives.

And I call them the time wasters because they create that perceived lack of time,

But they're not activities that are actually enriching our experiences.

Think about social media,

How you use your social media.

Think about how much TV you watch or any other distractions that have this sneaky way of stealing your precious time.

Have you ever noticed how our phone can effortlessly snatch away precious minutes,

Even hours sometimes,

Mindlessly scrolling through our social feed,

Tending to every notification,

Feeling compelled to respond to every group chat?

The endless stream of information can be really energy draining.

So here is an invitation.

Consider embarking on a bit of a phone detoxing or decluttering.

Perhaps remove the notifications that constantly pop up on the phone and require your attention and subscribe from source that no longer bring value to your life,

Emails.

If certain social media apps have become a little too addictive,

Don't hesitate to remove them temporarily or allocate a deliberate and restricted sort of 10 minute time slot each day to catch up on your feed.

I had personally to really control the way I use my phone because I found it too addictive and very,

Very distracting.

And so it would really take up my head space.

Since I implemented this small little change,

There has been lots of positive impact from that.

In the same way,

Now consider the time you spend watching TV or streaming series.

And there is nothing wrong with unwinding and enjoying some entertainment,

But do you really need to do that every day?

How much of that time could be reconverted towards your aspiration,

Growth or passion or other self-care activities that don't require that constant mind stimulation?

And of course,

These are not directives,

These are only perspective.

And sometimes I think it's great to challenge the way we do things and to really reassess,

Is this really serving me or is this just not supporting the way I want to live my life?

When it comes to this distraction,

It's really worth as well delving into the deeper patterns at play.

Sometimes our inclination towards such distraction can also be a form of self-sabotage,

A way to avoid facing uncomfortable truths or emotions.

And so when we declutter our life,

When we face this emotion and recognize this pattern,

We can begin to regain control of our time and use it as a way that is more aligned with our intention.

And I always say start small,

But commit to one little step.

And as we commit to this little step and we follow through,

We really build self-trust within ourselves.

So I really hope that these three different perspectives have now shed more light on the patterns of not having more time and what's really here the cause.

And I'm sure there's way more other areas we could delve into.

But here really the bottom line is,

It's not always about not having time.

It's about how we manage the time we do have and especially the expectations we place on ourselves.

Let's face it,

There's always going to be more things to do that you can possibly choose.

That's a fact and that's not going to change.

We can change how we interact with it.

We can change the way we see this to-do list.

We can let that to-do list define us or we can reclaim our worth and reclaim our power over that to-do list.

And when you build worth from the inside,

You then tend to rely less on something external to provide it.

And remember,

We are often way harsher on ourselves than we should.

You are enough.

And you are doing much better,

I'm sure,

Than what you give yourself credit for.

So perhaps the final takeaway from today would be,

Are there things in my life I could drop or change my perspective upon to create more space for what I truly love?

To really follow through with my intention for better self-care,

For rekindling with my passions,

I would love to know.

Thank you for listening and joining me on this journey of self-discovery and self-care.

Change often starts with small,

Deliberate steps.

And these little steps can lead to big impact.

So start today.

Until next time,

Stay mindful and make time for yourself.

Reviews

This was incredibly helpful and insightful, and really just in parallel with challenges in my life right now. Thank you - thanks 🙏