Friend,
You have survived.
Here you are on the other side of crisis.
There was no route around this experience,
No alternate course.
This has been your path and you have walked it.
Your mind's focus and your body's focus were to carry you safely to the other side of the deep water,
The deep woods,
The deep heartache,
The deep fear.
And here you are,
Safe now,
No longer in immediate danger.
Here you are.
Somehow,
Rather than feeling that safety,
What you feel is a lag in sorting out what just happened.
While your body was living it,
Your mind was unable to process it in real time.
And here you are,
Holding something you don't know where to put down or how to describe or how to find peace.
Because now you are safe,
But you just can't feel it.
While your body and circumstances have come to a clearing and the sun is shining and the wind is calm,
Dark clouds are still inside.
They ask to be looked at.
Now that there's time to look and sort and piece together and pull apart,
Now there's time.
So take it.
There's no urgency here.
There's no fight or flight.
There's just somewhere to lay down all the pieces and put them together.
A place to count up the wins and losses of the battle,
Celebrate and grieve.
So breathe,
Because you have time.
Nothing is chasing you.
You're safe.
Breathe.
You can take as long as you need.
Acknowledge what happened.
You couldn't do it in real time.
You were trying to survive it.
You couldn't acknowledge it because it was scary.
Acknowledgement took time you didn't have and energy you didn't have and focus you didn't have while you were surviving.
So take it now.
Speak your feelings.
I made it through and I don't know how.
I felt afraid.
I felt alone.
I felt abandoned.
I felt the need for someone to understand.
This is what I went through.
It isn't the first time and I need to hold on to this for the next time so I remember that I can get through difficult things.
They don't need to be forgotten or pushed away or downplayed.
They just need to be looked at and I need to be held.
I can rest in the feeling of being seen because I am looking.
My fear is seen.
My sorrow is seen.
My loss is seen.
Friend,
Hold still here.
Be still.
Because this part where you're standing on the opposite side of the woods is part of the woods.
The calm after the storm is a phase of the storm having passed or it wouldn't feel the way it does.
So acknowledge it as something you need to pass through as well.
Be still in awareness,
In relief,
In recognition.
Give space for crying when you didn't have time before to cry.
When you were too busy operating instead of processing and being strong for other people to hang on to.
It's okay to sit down now and rest and be held and be loved.
It's okay.
This place will also be passed through.
It is not your ultimate destination,
But it is here to serve you.
You need to be given this space,
This aftershock moment.
You may find that this experience has revealed to you truths about relationships,
About your body,
About your mind,
Your heart.
Those revelations need space and acknowledgement as well.
They may inform how you choose to proceed in your future associations,
How you care for others,
How you handle crisis.
This is part of your transformation.
This is part of what gives what you have been through meaning.
It presents its own pain,
But it also offers a lot of healing.
So take this time.
It's a gift.
Take the hands,
Take the embraces,
Take the gentleness offered you.
You don't have to rush through this and be back to normal.
Handle yourself with the care you would give a bird who has just weathered a hurricane.
You would be soft.
You would not throw it into the wind the moment it was out of danger.
You would give it a safe place to rest and recover.
You would hold it out gently,
Offer it the sun,
And when ready,
It would fly into the light.
So will you,
Friend.
So will you.
