Go From Anxiety To Assertiveness, Fear To Freedom (Top Pick)

This was one of the top sessions I've ever run, you will see why when you listen. Please listen carefully, message me once you've heard it, and tell me your key insights. I wish you love, strength, and freedom

Transcript

Playfulness will help you create more assertiveness and freedom.

This workshop today is about going from anxiety to assertiveness and fear to freedom.

Playfulness is the number one thing to start with.

So we're diving right in.

I've got a few points to share today which will help you to create freedom and assertiveness.

But before I do that,

If you've just arrived,

Like I said,

Put something in the chat and share.

I'm from the UK.

My name is Raj Gosia.

I have been coaching for the last three or four years,

Something like that,

Officially,

Full time.

This is all I do.

And before that,

I was consulting in very corporate environments.

I was wearing shirts and doing important data and analytics work.

It was still people focused,

But it was very technical.

I left that because I was having a lot of anxiety,

Social anxiety.

I was very challenged in situations.

I couldn't get up to speak.

Speaking was the biggest challenge.

And I didn't really like myself.

I thought I had a good life.

I was having fun.

Generally,

Everything was fine.

But deep down,

There was this resistance.

There was this feeling of,

What am I doing with my life?

What am I doing?

And deep down,

There was this feeling of hurt or tension or resentment or anger,

Frustration,

Feeling lonely,

A lot of loneliness,

Actually.

So most of my life,

Actually,

I didn't realize it,

But there was a pain that was held underneath,

A restriction,

A limitation,

A fear,

A feeling of,

I don't belong here.

That was the voice.

I don't belong.

I don't belong in a group.

I don't belong.

I don't have the right to say anything confidently,

Because if I'm confident,

Then that's rude.

I had all these ideas about what it meant to be me.

So if anyone can relate to that,

Put a yes in the chat,

Just so I can see who you are.

And if you can relate,

Put a yes in the chat.

If you can relate to any of my stories.

Okay,

There's a yes.

It's not just me.

I thought it was just me.

There's a book,

Actually.

I haven't read it,

But I saw it the other day called,

I Thought It Was Just Me.

The thing is,

Brene Brown,

One of her first books,

I've read some of her other books,

Though,

Really powerful books.

Has anyone ever read Brene Brown's books or seen her TED Talk?

Super powerful.

And I think my next session might actually be on stuff like that,

That vulnerability is what she represents.

But anyway,

That is my background.

And then,

Oh,

Really,

You work in data and analytics.

Wow.

That is so interesting.

You see how this thing works sometimes.

You know,

It's really interesting.

I guess it's natural as well.

When we're looking at stuff,

When we're looking for stuff,

There's this intuition that we might not be aware of,

Or this connecting force that brings us to people.

And then,

Of course,

We can relate.

We'll stick around a bit longer and maybe listen a bit more,

Right?

Or we might talk to that person.

That's how it's exactly been for me.

Every video I've watched,

Everything I've done,

Every new person I've met,

Every message that I've sent to someone,

It's because I can relate to them.

They get me,

I get them.

So then I decided to be one of those people.

They get me,

I get them.

So then I decided to be one of those people.

After all of that searching and looking for mentors and help and a lot of reading books,

I felt like I knew all these authors personally because I read all their books.

I got a lot into psychological books.

I got a lot into energy work.

Nutrition and the fitness side is huge in the work I do as well.

And how does my body react?

What am I putting into my body?

So there's a massive change that happened.

And it's really kind of strange to even talk about it now because it's like past version of me really wouldn't have thought that it's possible to make such a big change.

So now I do this for a living.

I'm helping other people and it's because I had so much change occur in my life.

So it's bursting out of me.

It's like you can't just keep this for yourself.

Let's share this.

Let's see how I can help people.

And let's turn this into my new career.

That's even more cool.

I can earn money from this.

I can have a lifestyle from this.

Oh wow.

So that's been my journey for the last four or five years basically.

The overall journey has been longer,

Let's say more,

Way longer.

But that's who I am.

So that's me.

Nice to meet everyone.

This is how I'd encourage you to use this session.

There's a lot of teachers on Insight Timer.

I want you to treat this session as if it's separate to everything else you've ever seen.

That doesn't mean I'm better than anyone.

It just means this is how I think you'll get the most from this.

And I also encourage you to really listen for insight.

Listen for those sensations,

Those feelings,

Those new ways of seeing things.

Listen for some way to challenge yourself and something that can relate to you.

Because that's when the listening gets even deeper,

Right?

Not listening for confirmation of something that you think is true or not true.

Not listening for research facts,

Not information.

Instead listening for yourself or transformation.

So that's what I encourage in all of my sessions.

Not for me,

Just because I know those kind of things have been helpful when I've gone to other sessions.

So that's more about me.

Nice to meet you all.

If anyone has come to this session and it's your first time seeing me,

Put a yes in the chat.

If it's the first time you've ever seen me in your life,

You're like,

Who is this guy?

Who is he?

Put a yes in the chat.

There's one yes.

And yeah,

Thank you for sharing your experience in the dashboard stuff.

Yeah,

That's exactly what I did.

It's really funny you say that.

Imposter syndrome and you're looking into teacher training.

Awesome.

And you're into fitness and all new.

Wow.

It's like you're a version of me.

That's really interesting.

Holistic.

Yeah,

I'll definitely look at things holistically.

Okay,

Awesome.

Cool.

So today's session is about,

I've labeled it,

From Anxiety to Assertiveness.

Fear to Freedom.

So here's how I'm going to start.

Fear to Freedom is what I'm going to start with.

In the chat,

Tell me what freedom means to you.

I like to make these things interactive sometimes.

What does freedom mean to you?

It's such a powerful word.

It can be all encompassing.

It can be just one area of your life,

Whatever,

Right?

It could be inside,

It could be outside.

What does freedom mean to you?

I would love everyone to put their definition.

It doesn't matter what the person above writes.

It really doesn't matter.

It's about giving your answer.

You know,

I wrote,

I'm writing a book right now.

One of the things I just wrote in the book was,

We,

Let me just look for it real quick.

I literally just wrote it.

So I said,

I put some questions at the bottom of the chapter,

Each chapter,

Right?

Because I think that'd be useful.

And I wrote,

Under the questions,

I wrote,

You're not looking for the right answer.

We're not in school anymore.

We're not going to be judged by our answer.

There is no measurement of the answer being right or wrong or good or bad.

It's just an answer.

It's like painting.

You paint however you want to paint.

Doesn't matter how everyone else is painting.

You do you.

So that's what I want to encourage.

Whenever I ask a question,

Answer's always right.

It's always right.

I'm never going to judge anyone,

Ever.

Doesn't matter what they say.

Doesn't matter if someone's really rude to me.

I can look beyond that somehow,

Right?

You know,

Obviously I'll feel some,

My psychology and body might not like it,

But wait,

They're right.

I don't care.

They're right.

In their eyes,

They're right.

So cool.

What does freedom mean to you guys?

Put something in the chat.

I would love to see your answers.

I might even learn something.

You know,

I'm willing to learn from everyone.

Even if I'm the teacher,

I'm the guy teaching today.

I want to learn from you guys.

What is freedom to you?

All right.

Being fully my highest self without preconceived notions,

Negative ideas or programming for my childhood.

Love that.

Love that because that feels all encompassing of inside world and outside world.

Yeah.

Being yourself.

Being yourself,

That's powerful because I say being is inside and outside.

It's not just,

Oh,

I feel it inside.

I'm free inside,

But on the outside,

I'm constricted and I have a mask on and I'm not being the same thing that's in here.

That was one of the biggest challenges I had.

I had all this potential,

All these ideas,

All this stuff I knew I felt.

Felt it all.

I had these challenges actually speaking like that or being like that or taking action or showing myself like that to other people.

It was petrifying for me,

Even though I knew it was all inside.

So being it inside and out.

Yeah.

That's one definition I call freedom.

Being ourselves inside and out.

Being unapologetically,

I nearly messed that one up.

That's a hard one to say.

Unapologetically.

There we go.

Myself.

Being unapologetically myself.

I don't need to say sorry.

That's what I hear from that.

I don't need to say,

Excuse me.

Sorry for being loud.

Sorry for being this.

Sorry for being this.

No,

I'm just me.

You deal with it.

It's you that's getting resistance.

This is just me.

I love that.

We don't have to look after what other people might think of us.

And that's not to say be rude or be horrible to people.

It's just be you,

Right?

If that's the truth,

That's great.

Other people don't like it.

It's fine.

You're being you,

Right?

So great to see that.

Yeah,

Freedom.

Anyone else want to put their answers in?

There's a few of you here.

I'd love to see what else anyone else wants to say.

Because everyone knows what freedom is in some way,

Right?

Even my dad.

My dad's not into this spiritual stuff.

But he is.

He would never use that word.

He'd never use that word.

And I asked him.

I interviewed him.

He's on my YouTube page,

If anyone wants to see it.

We did a podcast episode together.

Three podcast episodes together.

And we just talked about stuff.

Really fun for me to do that.

And I think at one point he said,

Yeah,

Freedom is the most important thing.

And it hit me.

I was like,

Even to him.

Even to him.

Free from anxiety and judgment.

Yeah,

Powerful.

So here's my definition.

And here's how I'm going to talk to you guys through this.

We're going to do a little exercise in a moment.

So it's not just theory.

It's let's practice this.

So fear to freedom.

Freedom means I'm free from judgment.

I'm free from being entangled in my mind and body's reactions to things.

That doesn't mean I don't feel resistance or I don't have thoughts.

That doesn't mean I have silenced everything.

That means I'm free to respond to things.

I'm free because I'm operating from the inside.

I'm not operating from fear,

Which is based on body and mind in my eyes anyway.

Body and mind is one and they work together and they have fear responses.

Freedom is,

Ah,

I'm feeling these body responses,

These thoughts,

But let me ease myself a little bit.

Wait,

Who am I really beyond these thoughts and these reactions?

What do I really want to do with my life?

How can I come into a sense of ease?

And if I'm being freedom,

That means I'm in ease.

I'm not judging myself.

I'm allowing myself to be who I am,

Where I am.

I don't need permission.

This is just me.

And then it can also mean,

Freedom can also mean inside freedom,

But it can also mean outside freedom,

Freedom to say things,

Freedom to act.

I think it comes from the inside,

But then that inside can come out as,

I'm going to take this action.

I'm going to say this thing.

I'm going to start this business.

I'm going to start this new career.

I'm going to take that trip I've always wanted to take around the world.

I'm going to end this relationship.

I'm going to start this relationship.

Freedom to act,

Freedom to be.

So let's do a little meditation practice while you guys are pressing hearts.

It's a good reaction.

So keep your eyes open.

We don't need to conceal our eyes.

We don't need to close ourselves off from the world all the time.

I still do a lot of closed-eyed meditation,

But now I've become very conscious of what's the reason for closing my eyes.

Sometimes it's very useful to go away and close my eyes,

To close the senses.

That's one of the steps in the path of yoga,

Is closing the senses.

But sometimes I also like to practice zen style,

Open-eyed.

So let's keep our eyes open for now.

Be aware of your stomach,

The breath in your stomach.

Lock your eyeballs onto one point in front of you,

Something.

You choose,

Just lock it onto something.

Whatever you're looking at,

Really be with that thing.

For example,

I'm looking at this,

These headphones in front of me.

I'm looking at it as if it's the first time I've ever seen them.

So see if you can look at the thing in front of you,

As if it was the first time.

As if it was the first time.

If your mind is all over the place,

Just come to your breath and watch your breath coming in and out.

And just keep looking at this thing in front of you.

If any judgments or conclusions come up,

Yeah,

That's okay.

Just let them come.

All that's required of you right now is your presence.

Presence with whatever's in front of you.

Be aware of your body.

Just be aware.

Not trying to relax it,

Not trying to do anything.

Just be aware that you have a body.

The legs,

Your left foot and right foot,

Your stomach,

Your lower back,

Your neck,

Your heart.

And just keep staring at the thing in front of you.

Be aware of your eyes,

Your nose,

Your mouth,

And your lips,

And the top of your head.

Now be aware of the whole body just sitting here,

Breathing.

Nowhere to go.

Nothing to do.

Just you being human,

Human being.

And bring your awareness to your heart.

And imagine a bright red flower in your heart with its petals open.

And just be aware of your body.

Open.

Bright red flower in your heart with its petals bursting open.

Now you can close your eyes.

Feel the center of your heart.

See if any emotions come up.

Bright red flower opening in your heart.

Any resentment,

Tension,

Worries.

Allow them to be felt in your heart.

There's nothing to do.

There's nothing to fix.

You are whole.

And your petals open.

Your petals are opening.

Consciously take a deep breath in to your heart through the nose.

And then release out of the mouth.

Two more times.

Breathe into the heart.

Release out of the mouth.

One more time.

Breathe in through the heart.

Deep breath.

Breathe out through the mouth.

Open your eyes.

Move your fingers,

Toes.

And let me know what came up for you in the chat.

What were you experiencing during that practice?

Or now?

Did that allow you to release any fear?

Anything inside?

Is there a bit more freedom?

Is there not?

What's going on for you?

I'd love to see yeah,

What everyone says in the chat.

Because it usually helps others once a few people share.

Even if you don't want to share,

Sometimes it can be really helpful for someone.

That's what I like to do.

I like to have a group,

You know,

A group dynamic where there's safety,

There's care,

There's being human,

Right?

The whole fear thing comes up because we feel isolated,

Lost,

Alone.

Once I realized for myself anyway,

Through the heart,

Once I realized,

Wow,

There's more than just me.

I'm connected to others.

There's more people experiencing this.

I started going to groups,

I started connecting to people.

And then it's just like,

Ah,

Wow,

I feel way lighter because I know it's not just me.

So a few people said it brought up sadness and tears.

Yeah,

Tears,

You know,

I call it whenever I'm working with my clients and there's tears in front of me sometimes.

I can tell the difference between tears of liberation and tears of entrapment.

And I really teach that to the people I'm working with.

I say,

Always look out for this.

The difference between tears of liberation versus tears of entrapment.

Tears of liberation feel different.

It's a whole different experience.

It's a whole different experience.

Even if it might not feel that,

You might not think it's that way,

Something different about it.

So yeah,

If you got some tears coming up,

Notice what that represents for you.

I went through this whole month where I was just constantly crying.

And it's happened a few times actually.

When I've been through a massive process or transition or new things coming up,

Days,

Weeks,

Just keeps coming up.

And then at the end of it,

Once I realized what to do with that,

It sends me into a good direction.

Peace and sleepiness,

Peace and calm.

Nice.

Oh,

Thank you for the great,

Tammy,

Thanks for the great comment.

Yeah,

It's really important to have a good space.

You know,

I like to say I'm a teacher and leader,

But I want to move out of the way a lot of the times.

When I'm running groups online,

I do Zoom classes,

If anyone wants to join that,

With a group where this is a bit more intimate.

Right?

A lot of the time it's about creating intimacy between the group.

So everyone supports each other.

And events,

Like in November,

I'm hosting a retreat in Tanzania for a very small group,

And it's in person,

And everyone's insecurities are coming up.

And there's excitement as well.

That requires me to be a leader,

But also again,

Move out of the way.

So the group can vibe off each other as well.

So that's going to be exciting.

If anyone wants to come to that,

Let me know,

And I'll send you the details.

It's on my website as well,

But I'll let you know.

But yeah,

The whole thing is,

Freedom,

To me,

Is allowing.

It's allowing,

It's firstly like knowing what freedom represents,

And then it's allowing and getting there.

Going to that place,

Right?

That I know that freedom is.

We can feel it,

We logically understand,

But then it's experiencing it.

It's a bodily experience,

Right?

And it's like,

When things loosen up,

That's possible.

So thanks for sharing,

Everyone.

Someone else said,

What else?

My fears were felt,

Becoming a widow.

Ah,

Climaxed.

Yeah,

Wow,

Interesting.

Yeah,

Those are interesting fears.

I get that,

Some of those things,

From people I'm working with sometimes.

Especially the thing on youth's mental health.

Yeah,

There's a,

The whole,

I won't go into the whole story,

But in Tanzania,

There's a school that's being built,

Which I'm gonna support.

And the whole thing I said was,

How can we create this in a way where it's different to every other school system,

And there's a way to support young people to have confidence in themselves,

And to express themselves more?

Because I know that's something I would have loved,

And to be nurtured,

You know?

To be really nurtured.

So yeah,

It's really cool that you're passionate about that,

Chris.

There's a lot you can do in that area,

If that's what you're interested in.

And you mentioned that,

You know,

Interested in.

And you also said some slight calm and peace after,

Yeah.

I know I must take some steps.

Yeah,

It's good that you're aware.

What else?

Let's see.

Maggie,

Nice to hear from you.

I feel so better hearing your voice.

Oh,

Thanks.

That's awesome.

I'd love to learn more about your retreat in Tanzania.

Oh,

Cool,

Yeah.

So drop me a message if anyone's interested.

I'll just send you a link.

I'll tell you more about it.

As if,

You know,

I was just telling you on the street kind of thing.

I'll just tell you more about it.

So yeah,

If you're interested in that,

And you're looking at Airbnbs,

That sounds like divine speaking from somewhere else.

Something divine might be happening.

But yeah,

Let me know.

And anyone else as well.

There's not that many spaces,

But yeah,

If there's spaces,

I'll let you know.

So.

Okay,

Cool.

Letting go of feeling like an idiot because of people conning us.

Hoo hoo.

Yes,

That's an interesting one.

What do you mean by that?

Like if someone's conning you,

You feel like an idiot.

That's an interesting one.

Letting go of all control,

And it feels perfect.

It feels perfect.

Yes.

That's usually it,

Right?

When I talk about fear to freedom,

Sometimes I have to just let go of stuff.

The fear is the fear of not being able to control it.

The fear is so convincing and telling me that I'm right about something or this is true.

This is 100% true.

I'm so sure.

And there's been so many times,

Even recently,

Where I've said to myself,

Oh,

I was wrong.

My ego was in the way.

I was wrong about this.

I thought I was right.

So freedom even means being free from being right.

From having to be right,

From holding this being sure about something,

A strong opinion.

It's freeing.

For me,

It's like if I'm not getting,

You know,

If I'm not holding that kind of attachment to something,

I'm free.

Attachment to my own belief,

My own thoughts,

I'm free.

So yeah,

Thanks for sharing,

Everyone.

Fear to freedom.

I've shared a lot of things about fear to freedom so far.

And hopefully you've got something from this.

And I'm going to go into anxiety to assertive now.

Because I think it's a case of slowing down and becoming present to where we are,

To who we are.

And then also,

What can go perfectly with that?

What's a perfect cocktail for that?

Most people will know.

If you don't know,

I'll tell you anyway.

I work a lot with opposing forces.

It's in everything I do,

In everything I am,

How I live.

It's all about working with opposing forces.

Yin and yang.

You'll see that thing behind me.

It's all about that.

Unifying them though.

So they're not separate.

They're things I can work with together.

So the opposing thing is assertiveness.

Let's turn on the fire and confidence inside of ourselves as well.

Because it's all good being chilled out and letting go of stuff.

But there's also a life we're living.

What do we want to do with our lives?

With this time we have on earth?

How do we want to be?

And that's where assertiveness is so important.

Because it's very easy,

Especially for me,

To be just hanging out and drifting by through life.

And then even things like not saying what I want.

Just going with someone else's ideas or whatever.

Not being straight up.

Not being confident.

So assertiveness means.

And actually you guys tell me in the chat as well.

What does it mean to you?

If you're being more assertive.

If I was asking you what it means.

What would you say it is?

For me it's been about turning on the lights.

Let's get in the car and let's drive.

Let's go and create the life I want.

Let's go and do whatever I want to do.

Let's just go for it.

I don't want to hold on to anything.

I don't want to hold on to anything.

I don't want to hold back.

I want to go for it.

There's no.

.

.

I don't want to make an excuse and use the.

.

.

And there's this other thing I see.

Spirituality can sometimes create more illusion.

Because then this thing comes up of.

Oh let me just wait.

The universe will show me a sign one day.

And yes it does.

Like some of these things that are happening in this call today.

Cool.

Like so many synchronicities.

Tanzania and then there's other people with who are very similar to me.

It's just coming.

But then there's other times where there's a action.

And spirituality can become this.

.

.

This ruse of hiding away.

I know I did that.

Let's go meditate.

Because that will help me.

It does.

But I still got to go and do stuff.

Still got to switch on and be assertive with my life.

So I found both of them combined two powers going for stuff.

As well as being slowed down and calm.

That's where the magic lies.

So that's what it means to me.

Switching on.

Let's go.

Introverted people or very very calm people might find this challenging like me.

But I've had to work on it a lot right.

Going for stuff.

Still working on it.

But I've come a long way.

Like coming on these sessions.

It was a good idea.

But then you know there was fears.

Two years ago or three years ago when I started this thing.

I wasn't sure about going online and posting things.

And being on social media and having a website.

And having a business.

And making money from things that I'm passionate about.

But this assertiveness is what drove me.

Writing a book.

I could just leave it behind and say no I'm relaxed.

I'm peaceful.

I'm blissful.

I want to write a book.

So that requires this assertiveness.

This fire.

Let's go and do stuff.

So I hope you're getting what I'm saying.

You're feeling my passion as well.

And you're finding some ways in your life that assertiveness could be useful.

Feel into that for yourself.

And maybe I can ask you.

How would assertiveness be useful for you in your life right now?

Put it in the chat if you're brave.

If you're courageous.

This is a chance actually.

To test.

To put it out there right.

To declare it.

And then if you want.

If you want to put that out there and be vulnerable and courageous.

I'll help you and I'll give you some ways that you could do that.

So let me see in the chat what's coming up.

Ah okay.

I've just seen your thing about the con man.

Yeah I imagine that's very hard to swallow.

You know sometimes life hands us these things to see what are we going to.

How are we going to react.

I don't know that's hard to say.

Or hard to even receive.

But that brings you back into your power.

Because it turns it around and says.

Okay.

What can I do?

How can I own this?

What can I do with this challenge that I have?

How can I let go?

What is it teaching me?

What is it teaching me?

It brings you back into your power right.

So I hope that's helpful to say.

There is a lot of weird people out there so.

Um let me see what else.

So when I asked you guys what is assertiveness.

People said this.

I'm going to read it out to everyone and keep adding stuff if you want.

Or ask me questions at this point if you want as well.

Um because I know a few people just did that.

All right.

Being able to say to say what I want without hurting anyone.

Yeah.

If you are doing it from a calm and grounded place.

Then I'm pretty sure you're not hurting anyone.

It's only how someone receives that where they might get hurt.

But if you can nurture it and be kind about it.

Still being assertive.

Then everyone wins.

You're free.

I know it's easier said than done.

I challenge you to go for it.

That's what that's where this comes in sometimes.

Challenge.

I'll challenge my clients.

It's not just about theory.

It's not about just practice.

Not about just feeling it.

It's about challenge.

Let's go for it.

Let's do it.

Let's not let's just not wish I could do this.

I wish I could be like this.

This is where assertiveness comes in and freedom comes in as well.

This is where assertiveness comes in and freedom comes in as well.

Where it's like,

No,

Let's do this.

Let's make this real.

Let's not just wish.

Let's not just do inner work.

Inner work is very,

Very important.

But let's also make this happen.

Let's make this real.

Let's get out that voice that you want to get out.

Let's say things.

Let's do things.

That's usually that's usually where a lot of people get value from working with me.

One to one,

Because we'll we'll make action plans.

We'll make stuff happen,

Right?

Over and over and over again.

All right,

Let's see what else people say.

Listening to what my body needs instead of changing my needs for other people.

Yeah,

Yeah.

Listening to your wisdom,

Right?

Your wisdom.

Because I found every time I have gone against my own true wisdom,

The only person that is left happy is no one.

Because if I go and try and please everyone,

I'm not really there.

Because I'm I'm I'm bitter now.

I'm resentful against myself and probably them for trying to for for like,

In my eyes anyway,

Trying to make me do something I don't want to do.

But I did it.

I signed up to it.

I said,

Let's go for it.

There's a person called Byron Katie,

Who talks a lot about turning it around.

If anyone knows her,

Turning everything around to me,

I did it.

And what that does is it brings us back into our power.

No one does anything to us.

If that's true,

And I'm not saying there's not bad things that happen,

Of course.

But I'm saying if you can bring it back to yourself,

What can I do?

What can I do about this now?

You get power back.

That's what I've learned.

All right,

What else?

No hesitancy,

Asking for help,

Things I don't need or want.

Creating new profit streams without fear of sabotage.

Yeah.

Eating when I want to.

Yes.

Wearing and looking how I want.

I love that.

Yeah.

You probably got one outfit,

Which is like your power outfit.

I wear a suit sometimes.

Maybe I'll wear a suit to my next session because I like it.

It's fun.

It feels great.

You know,

I don't want it to try and prove I'm someone to someone else.

I just like it.

It feels fun.

So there's that thing,

Right?

Wearing what you,

Being who you are.

Doesn't matter what other people will say.

Thanks for sharing.

What else?

How did you get to that point?

I missed the beginning.

So,

Okay.

Yeah.

Let me tell you a bit more about that.

The way I'm,

The way I've gotten to that and the way I'm still getting to that is through my body,

Through the chemical process.

I call myself a hardcore yogi because every day I'm doing practices.

For the last eight years,

I've been doing practices where I've learnt the detail of this thing,

This science.

So that's one part of it.

One part of it is really understanding my body.

What am I putting into it?

You know,

The thing I place a lot of importance on is foods,

Movement,

Breath,

Embodiment work,

You know?

If the system is compliant and optimized,

That's good.

Step one.

If I'm doing the practices that are helpful,

Great.

Step two,

There's some practical stuff.

If I really understand how to,

What assertiveness is as an energy,

What freedom is as an energy,

Energy is an experience.

If I keep creating those experiences,

Both inside and outside.

So if the world I want,

You know,

For example,

If I'm working with someone,

I'll really get them to say,

What is freedom to you?

Like today,

Look,

I did this just today with someone,

Great example.

I won't share any personal details because I don't usually do that ever.

But basically,

He said to me,

If I was mastering my energy,

I would be free.

And I said to him,

What does that mean to you?

He said,

Well,

I have no expectations.

I'm fearless.

I'm more loving.

I'm present.

I'm connective.

He wrote,

I'm creating myself consciously.

And then he gave me some examples.

He said,

He's not into being in big crowds of places.

So he wants to get better with that because he feels self-conscious.

He said he wants to create a business that represents his passions.

He also said he wants better relationships where he's more connected to like-minded people.

So I said,

Cool,

That's now we have things to work with.

So we'll start doing things to create you as that.

So I gave him some challenges.

I gave him exact challenges related to all of those things.

And I said,

Those are the challenges you're going to do this week.

And he's in.

And then also,

There's also some inner work we're doing as well.

So I'm getting him to create a document of who he is going forward.

Some statements.

And I'm also getting him to change the way his morning routine is.

I've given him some specific practices to do for him,

Right?

That are going to help him with what he wants help.

So yeah,

There's a lot of ways to go around this.

It's not a one size fits all.

But there's some things that will help everyone.

And then it's about tweaking it to your life.

What do you want your life to be like?

I don't want anyone to be like me.

You know,

I have trouble being me myself.

I want to help you be more of you.

So yeah,

I don't know if that really answers your question.

But that probably gives you some more insight into how I think.

It's been a journey,

Let's just say.

It's a journey that continues.

I keep learning.

I keep seeing myself as a beginner,

Constantly.

I'll go to places where people are teaching the things that I already know.

I'll still get things from it,

Right?

I'll still expand.

I'll be a student.

And I'll be a great teacher.

I don't want my ego to get in the way either.

I don't want looking good or protecting myself or trying to not look good or trying to look bad get in the way because that's not useful for me.

I want to be open to other people and people that know stuff.

And I want to talk to them and learn from them.

So that's all the stuff that's really helped me.

And discipline.

And yeah,

You said consistency.

Yeah.

Consistency is very important.

I'm quite extreme,

Let's say,

When it comes to.

.

.

When I'm interested in something,

I'll really go for it,

Right?

I'll really make measurements to do it.

Especially when it comes to fitness,

Meditation and stuff like that and creating the actions for the future that I want to create.

I'll just put things into a plan.

So how do I manage it is I'll make it very easy for myself.

I don't want to make it complicated.

I want to make it achievable,

Right?

I want to do things that will actually happen.

I want to set myself unrealistic things.

And then I'll just do them.

And if I don't,

If I screw up,

I'll be kind to myself.

And then I'll adjust.

So I hope that helps.

Does that help?

Tell me more about how that could relate to you as well.

So what else?

My word is courage.

A year of facing fears.

Nice.

Awesome.

That's powerful.

Courage is powerful.

Because you still have the fears,

Right?

Yes.

But you're just going to go for it.

And I'm worried that if I put out my own brands,

I'll get made fun of by my.

.

.

Ah,

Yeah,

You might.

You might get made fun of.

But then what?

You'll still stand.

You know,

There's a risk and reward that comes with everything.

That's what I've learned anyway.

There's a risk and reward.

How can I reduce the risk?

And how can I face the risk?

If I want the reward,

Right?

There's a price for everything,

I realized.

That's just how things seem to work.

There's an energy expenditure.

There's a time expenditure.

There's resources.

Sometimes we have to spend financial resources,

Whatever,

Right?

I'll just deal with it.

If it's going to take me where I want to get to.

All right,

What else?

Yeah,

And forgiving yourself.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Exactly.

That's a huge part.

If I forget the heart,

It happens to me sometimes.

If I forget to be kind and be gentle while still being fiery and confident in action.

You know,

Both of them combined are important.

But if I forget one piece of the puzzle,

I don't feel aligned.

Something feels out of sync.

Something feels strange.

And it's because either the heart isn't open or the fire isn't switched on or I'm not still.

You know,

Those three things are usually important and more.

Stillness,

Fire and heart.

If you can really get good at those three things,

That's awesome.

There's also a bunch of other things.

All right.

Was that helpful for everyone?

Let me know because we're going to end the session soon.

Yeah,

After a few weeks,

You seem to self-sabotage.

Yeah,

It happens.

It's like,

This is the way I say it.

It's like going off road.

That's one of the things I wrote in my book.

That's one of the things I wrote in my book.

It's my mind will take me off road.

I wrote something like this.

The mind driving the car will take me off road and it will try and take me into a dark,

Dusty,

Dark,

Dusty off road.

And it will start driving recklessly and crazy just to show me,

Hey,

You shouldn't have gone down that road.

Yeah,

Let's forget about it.

Let's turn back.

Let's go to where it's safe.

I've got to realize that,

No,

Let's go back to the road.

Let's keep coming back to the path,

No matter how many times I go off road.

Because eventually what I realized is,

If I keep coming back,

I get better at the skill of coming back onto the road.

So then eventually it becomes a routine.

That's actually the best way I could ever put it.

I don't think I've said it like that before,

But that's the best way I put it.

It becomes a routine.

So I get good at going off road and coming back.

So that's what I say to you.

If you're trying to build anything,

You're trying to build calm,

Assertiveness,

Freedom,

A business,

Income,

Whatever.

It's the same.

All right,

So I hope that was helpful for everyone.

I hope you got something out of this.

And there is a practice that I have on my page for fire.

It's on my YouTube page.

It's called,

I think I might have one on Insight Timer as well.

I can't remember.

There might be something around fire,

But on my YouTube page,

There's definitely a video called Burning the Fears or something like that.

It's something to do with fire and it takes you through a little practice.

So if anyone's up for that,

Check it out.

It could be a homework that you could find useful.

And there's also a bunch of recordings on my page.

I've stopped uploading new recordings now because there's a lot there already.

But yeah,

If you want,

You can check out my recordings.

Also,

There is a bunch of book recommendations on my Instagram where there's like at least 50 books.

I've written a mini review of each of them.

I did that a long time ago,

But I still think those books are really powerful.

What else?

On my website,

This is really helpful.

On my website,

A pop-up should appear where you could type your email,

And then that means,

Number one,

You'll get emails from me,

Which are actually not spam.

They're just me writing things.

When I have an insight,

I'll just write things.

I'll share videos that I've got.

I'll still share my content because I think that's still useful.

But yeah,

You'll start getting a lot of emails.

I think that's still useful.

But yeah,

You'll start getting on my newsletter,

And you'll get this free resource called the Relationship Worksheet,

Which is all about how do we relate to things in life?

What is our mind pattern?

Because I realize that's important.

It's more about how do we relate to things?

How do we see ourselves?

Because if I relate to things better,

Then it's more likely that I'm going to.

.

.

It's like a relationship,

Right?

It's like planting or gardening.

If I'm relating to it,

If I'm connected to it,

It's going to be better.

So there's a worksheet that you'll get if you sign up to my newsletter.

You'll just get the link to that.

You don't have to ask me for it.

It's a little fun thing I made,

Basically.

Cool.

What else?

I also need to announce.

Oh,

If you want to join some of my Zoom sessions,

I haven't hosted one in a while,

But there will be one next month.

Then let me know.

Those are free.

There's no charge for that.

If you want to work with me personally,

Just drop me a message,

And we can talk about that.

What else?

Tanzania,

If you want to come to that,

That's going to be unbelievable.

I've traveled to 48 countries.

This is the first time I've ever even thought about doing a retreat,

Because when I went to the country last year,

It blew my mind.

So,

Yeah,

That's happening in November this year.

It'll be so cool to be in person with people.

And it's something I've craved for a while,

Is I love doing online.

Everything I do is online,

But having some intimate,

But having some intimate sessions a few times a year,

Just one-offs,

You know,

Where I'm hosting these things,

It's just different.

Seeing how tall people are,

That's kind of fun.

You can see how tall I am.

You can guess even if you want.

And just being in physical space,

You know,

I get to guide practices.

I get to see people's posture.

I get to do things that I can't do online,

Right?

For two weeks,

That's going to be,

I think.

So that's even more intense,

But in a good way.

So,

Yeah,

I'm really excited to tell you about that.

What else?

I think that's it.

I think my next event on Insight Time will probably be next week.

It might be on vulnerability.

I'm going to think about it probably today.

And,

Yeah,

It'll be great for you guys to come to that as well.

So,

Cool,

That's everything.

And from me,

If you have any questions that you'd like to ask me,

You can email me on my website.

There's a contact page.

Anything you want help with,

Any book recommendations,

Even whatever you're looking for,

Feel free to ask me.

And if I can't help you,

I will find someone who can,

Basically.

All right,

So let's leave it as that.

What is my book called?

That's a surprise.

I haven't even decided,

To be honest.

I haven't decided myself yet.

But my book is going to be around aligning different parts of us.

Because that's what I represent.

How do we align body,

Inside world,

Outside world?

How do we make everything connect?

And actually,

That's what we're doing on the retreat.

So it's funny.

The book's going to come out and the people on the retreat are going to get a live experience of everything I'm talking about in the book.

That's going to be so cool.

So yeah,

It's basically about unifying ourselves with inside and out.

Body,

Mind,

Everything.

Because that's what I am.

That's what I stand for,

Right?

I don't separate things into one area.

I stand for everything connects.

That's the only way I see it.

I can't see it in any other way.

It's like an artist.

They see things in the way they see things,

Right?

This is how I see things work.

Well,

Work best,

Right?

If you have a purpose,

You want to change something in your life,

We got to look at your system.

We got to look at your energy.

We got to look at what you're doing with your time.

We got to look at everything.

We got to look at your thinking.

We got to look at the spirit inside.

We got to look at actions that you're taking or not taking.

Has to be inside and outside.

That's when things drastically changed for me.

And I linked everything together.

So anyway,

That's enough of that.

And appreciate everyone coming.

And yes,

Tammy,

We will speak soon.

Awesome,

Awesome,

Awesome.

Yeah,

I'll tell you more about the retreat.

And yeah,

You'll get some newsletters soon.

Everyone else,

Homeworks.

Yeah,

Check the homework.

Whatever homework you like.

And any insights you've had from today,

Just make sure you feel into them,

Reflect on them.

Take action and go for it.

Be assertive and be free at the same time.

You can be,

This is what I've realized.

There isn't a specific type of person.

I can be calm and slow and relaxed.

And I can also be a fiery and expressive person.

That's the biggest thing I've worked on in my whole life,

Is how can I be both?

How can I be everything?

You know,

There's a way.

It just means we have to be uncomfortable sometimes,

But there's a way.

So cool.

Enjoy everyone sending you light and love and fire and ice,

Let's say.

Speak to you later.

Have a good one.

And.

.

.

Reviews

I love you so much, Raj,
I’m always able to tap into your voice for grounding. I would love to meet you in person and I’m hoping that day comes soon. We do communicate via Instagram or have in the past after July I am golden for you or we can work something out..
Much love and many blessings. Give your father my love. I love your YouTube with him.. they bring great joy and warm to my heart and soul.
Big hugs
Maggie 858 220-6463 🩷

Amazing talk as usual. Holding opposites is something I’m living right now, it was so helpful to hear someone speak about that because sometimes life seems so impossible when somehow you have to honour two opposites (sometimes 15! Lol). Also loved the part about not just meditating forever and actually taking action. Thank you, thank you, you have no idea how much it helps to hear these things 🙏🏾. I will definitely connect with you soon! Blessings