G'day,
My name is Rachel Grace.
Welcome to this talk which is part one of a four part series where I'll introduce you to practical and evidence-based mindfulness tools that are designed to help you handle difficult conversations at work.
The four tools we'll explore in this series are first of all influencing physiology,
Then second being present,
Three compassion and four recognising similarity,
And in this first session we're focusing on the first of these tools which is influencing physiology.
Difficult interpersonal interactions are almost always paired with strong negative emotions.
In fact if you bring to mind now the difficult conversation you're going to have,
You may well notice that the emotions that you have about this conversation show up in some way almost immediately in your body as some kind of physical reaction.
If you pay attention you'll probably notice that as you prepare for a difficult conversation,
When you're having it and after a difficult conversation,
There are a whole range of physical signs of stress that you can detect and this is totally understandable but ultimately it's not that helpful if we let those kind of run rampant.
It's not helpful for our well-being and it's not so helpful for our work.
So whenever you notice your body displaying signs of stress such as tension in the neck and shoulders,
A clenched jaw or fist,
Shallow breathing or holding your breath,
At those moments it can be really helpful to respond by taking action to soothe your nervous system and positively influence your physiology so that you lower the levels of stress you feel,
You help the body to be more at ease because this is what's going to help you to lead those difficult conversations more effectively for yourself and for others.
There are a range of evidence-based techniques you can use to positively influence your physiology and in this session I'd like to introduce you to one of those techniques which many people I work with find particularly useful and that's called box breathing.
So let's give that a try.
I invite you to find a posture that supports you to be both alert and relaxed,
Allowing your eyes to gently close or have a soft gaze towards the floor.
Then I invite you to join me in taking a big breath in filling the lungs right up and then exhaling gently and slowly releasing all the air from your lungs.
And so for this technique we're going to practice breathing in for a count of four,
Holding the breath for a count of four,
Breathing out for a count of four,
Holding for four and then repeating.
It can be helpful if we can be conscious of breathing into our belly for a technique like this so sometimes to support that belly breathing it can be helpful to rest one hand on the belly so you might like to try that if you like.
But either way we're going to give this box breathing a go and I invite you to follow along with me.
So we'll begin now breathing in on a count of one,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Hold,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Exhaling,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Hold,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Breathing in,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Hold,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Exhaling,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Holding,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Breathing in,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Hold,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Exhaling,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Holding,
Two,
Three,
Four,
And one last time breathing in to a count of one,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Holding the breath,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Exhaling fully,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Holding the breath,
Two,
Three,
Four,
And then just relaxing taking whatever breath you want to take and whatever rhythm feels best for you,
Allowing your breath to settle into whatever natural and gentle rhythm it wants to fall into.
Well done,
Congratulations on your practice.
So for many people it's easy for us to forget how important it is and how helpful it can be to simply use the breath as a way to help us to soothe the nervous system.
And if you're ever in a situation where you need to prepare for a difficult conversation,
Doing this technique as a preparation step before you go into that meeting can be really helpful.
But equally if you're in a difficult conversation and you can't do a technique like box breathing in that moment,
Then it can be equally just as helpful to bring attention to doing three conscious deep breaths,
Particularly breaths that breathe into the belly and have a nice long exhalation and you can do that kind of covertly even if you're in a meeting with someone.
So I encourage you strongly to practice this I encourage you strongly to practice with these techniques of breathing,
Either the box breathing as a formal practice before a difficult conversation or to simply focus on doing belly breathing and long exhalations in the middle of a meeting if you can and just notice how it helps.
Notice if it helps to soothe your nervous system.
The more you practice the easier it will get and it will help you to be emotionally calm,
Clear-headed and get some good outcomes from conversations that might not be that easy.
Thank you for your practice.
I appreciate you joining me and I sincerely hope that this practice supports you,
The work you do and all of those around you.
