26 | Self-Compassion 2 (Practice Only)

Systematically practice the three components of self-compassion to support yourself in difficult times and enhance your ongoing resilience and self-confidence. This practice is particularly suited to those wanting detailed instructions, provided at regular intervals, to help master the fundamentals of using embodied anchors as a tool for building concentration. This practice supports Week 7 of my 8-Week mindfulness program.

Transcript

G'day,

My name is Rachel Grace.

Thanks for joining me for this practice.

I invite you to take a moment now to prepare for this practice by finding a posture that supports you to be both alert and relaxed.

Allowing your eyes to gently close or softening your gaze down to the floor if that feels right for you.

We'll start the practice with the ring of a gong.

Becoming aware now of the sensations of breathing.

Breathing in,

Know you're breathing in.

Breathing out,

Know you're breathing out.

Bringing awareness now to your body,

Noticing how your body feels in this moment.

Without judging what it feels like,

Just noticing what it feels like.

And what is the state of your heart and mind right now?

Holding whatever is there with a kind attention.

Wherever you are,

Whatever the state of your body or mind,

You're welcome to share in this practice from that place.

To set a steady foundation of focus and calm before we begin the self-compassion practice,

I invite you to take the next minute or so to bring a relaxed and focused attention to your preferred anchor.

Whether that's paying attention to the sensations of the flow of breath or awareness of sounds arising and passing or feeling the different kinds of physical sensations in your feet and hands right now.

Whatever your preferred primary anchor is,

I invite you to settle your attention there now.

And each time you notice that your mind wanders,

Gently return your attention to your anchor.

Self-compassion practice can sometimes be challenging.

If feelings of irritation,

Anger or upset arise,

That can happen and it's okay.

But if those feelings start to get overwhelming,

Just remember you're welcome to take a break.

You can set aside the instructions and return to your anchor to help yourself rebalance before deciding whether to rejoin the practice or set it aside this time.

So please keep this in mind as we go through this practice.

We begin the practice of self-compassion by making contact with a real life difficulty that's presenting a challenge for you.

So I invite you to become aware of a difficulty that is here for you right now or is present somehow in your life at this time.

It could be a health problem,

A relationship challenge,

Financial difficulties,

A tricky work situation or some other struggle.

If like many people you are facing multiple difficulties in your life at this time,

Please focus on just one area of difficulty for this practice.

And also particularly if you're new to self-compassion practice,

It's important to choose something that is in the mild to moderate range of difficulty,

Nothing too overwhelming or traumatic.

For example if there's a scale from 1 to 10 where 10 is the most difficult kind of situation you've faced.

Right now I invite you to bring to mind a challenge that you're facing that's about 3 to 4 on that scale.

As you bring this difficulty to mind,

Reflect on the strain it's putting on you and notice if that strain is associated with any discomfort in the body.

Can you feel this strain in your body?

If so where do you feel it and what does it feel like?

Having connected with this difficulty there's now an opportunity to practice self-compassion for yourself within this challenge.

The first step of self-compassion is to simply acknowledge that this is a moment of suffering.

Mindfully allowing it to be fully here in your experience,

Seeing it for what it is and feeling it as it is.

To practice this first step of mindfulness and self-compassion,

I invite you to silently repeat to yourself phrases of mindful acknowledgement such as this is a moment of suffering or this is stressful,

This hurts or this isn't easy.

This can feel mechanical at first and if it does just know that that is a common experience particularly in the beginning but this will change over time and you can still practice and it will still bring benefit.

So use whatever phrases work for you to validate that in this difficulty it is a moment of suffering for you and silently repeat these phrases to yourself now.

Take a moment to notice if mindfully acknowledging this difficulty impacts your body and mind in any way.

Has there been a shift or change?

If there's no change that's okay you can notice that but if something has shifted or changed that's okay too,

Notice what that's like.

The second step is to connect with a deep recognition that suffering and hardship are a part of life for everyone.

Even though the circumstances will undoubtedly differ,

Everyone suffers pain and loss in their lives.

I invite you to practice this second step of self-compassion now by silently repeating to yourself suffering is a part of life for everyone.

Or you can use different words if you prefer,

Perhaps other people experience these kinds of difficult emotions too.

Or many people are going through a similar situation to me right now.

I'm not alone in experiencing this type of pain.

Or other people feel this way too when they're worried,

Heartbroken,

Lonely or in grief.

Use whatever phrases suit you to connect with the reality that you share the experience of suffering with all other human beings.

Silently repeating these phrases to yourself now.

Take a moment to notice if connecting with the shared human experience of suffering has impacted you in any way.

Has there been a shift or a change?

Either way it's okay,

Just notice.

The third and final step of self-compassion is to respond to suffering with words and acts of self-kindness.

If you're okay to do so you can bring both your hands together now and put your hands over your heart or place them some other place on the body that feels soothing and comforting.

Take a moment there to feel the warmth of your own hands.

Soothing self-touch is a valuable step in the self-compassion practice.

Now either keeping your hands in that soothing position or allowing your hands to return to their original resting position,

I invite you to ask yourself what kind words do I most need to hear right now as I sit with this challenge.

And then silently and intentionally directing those words to yourself.

This step is about being self-responsive and self-supportive in difficult moments.

Giving yourself the wishes and intentions for kindness,

Well-being and ease that you need.

Examples of phrases that you could use are,

It's going to be okay,

I care about you,

May I begin to be kinder to myself,

May I learn to accept myself more as I am,

May I be willing to forgive myself,

May I be strong.

Silently repeating these phrases of self-kindness to yourself now.

If you're having difficulty finding the right words,

Imagine that someone that you care about is facing the same difficulty as you.

What might they need to hear?

What would you want to say to them?

See if you can offer the same message to yourself as you would to a friend.

Finding whatever words are most self-supportive for you as best you can,

Silently repeating phrases of self-kindness to yourself now.

There are times when feelings of unworthiness can come up strongly during self-compassion practice.

This can happen as you see more clearly the thinking that limits your love and care for yourself.

With that awareness can come strong feelings like anxiety or anger and fear.

And with those there can be an extra added layer of self-judgment that comes too.

If these difficult thoughts and feelings arise,

Know that you can breathe gently and acknowledge them.

Recall that others share in these same kinds of feelings too and silently reassure yourself with words that are supportive and kind.

And of course if you're feeling overwhelmed you can return your attention to your anchor at any time.

Otherwise continue silently repeating phrases of self-kindness to yourself now.

Now taking a moment to notice if connecting with soothing self-touch and words of self-kindness has impacted you in any way.

Has there been a shift or a change in the state of your body or mind?

Either way it's okay just notice.

As we approach the end of our practice now I invite you to join me in taking a deep breath,

Filling your lungs and then relaxing your body and your mind as you breathe out.

Allow the corners of the mouth to rise ever so slightly into a gentle half smile if you'd like to,

Savouring this moment of self-care.

And to conclude I'll ring the gong three times.

Allow your eyes to open gently bringing your attention back up into the environment around you.

Take a moment now to stretch or perhaps sit back a little and just notice how you feel.

Do you feel the same right now as you did before the practice or has something changed?

Take a moment to notice and perhaps savour the impact of this practice on the state of your body and your mind.

You can also take a moment to appreciate yourself for the dedication to your own well-being that you've just demonstrated.

Each time you practice you are changing your brain for the better and building your capacity to handle life more skillfully so well done.

May mindfulness positively impact you,

What you do and all of those around you.

Thank you for practicing with me.

I hope you will join me again.

Reviews

Super helpful to recommend some phrases that you can say to yourself and very peaceful!

This is a wonderful meditation with the 3 steps of self compassion clearly defined and practiced. Thank you 🙏🏼

Thank you. Just thank you. So soothing and helpful! 🙏🏼

Amazing thanks

Beautiful, Loving practice 💕 Thank you for guiding me today, sending gratitude and blessings 🙏🙏

Helpful to approach a challenge in this way. Thank you.

Excellent self compassion exercise not just repeating sentences but comforting and supporting guidance from Rachel along the way.