Before You Tithe

Tithing is a sensitive topic. People struggle with whether or not they should tithe. People struggle with the guilt of not tithing or not tithing consistently. This podcast focuses on the steps before tithing - strengthening the relationship with God and developing wisdom and understanding about the tithing concept.

Transcript

Hello everybody,

My name is Jamila Perry and welcome to my podcast,

Help My Unbelief.

So what is this podcast about?

Well basically I like to talk about practical applications to biblical principles and I like to talk about some of the challenges that come in our walk as Christians.

Now of course this podcast is open to everyone,

But I'm just letting people know that I'm coming from a Christian perspective as we're discussing our various topics along the way.

So today's episode focuses on tithing.

Tithing,

The concept of tithing,

The concept of giving your top 10% of whatever your increase is or your income is.

Now tithing is an extremely sensitive topic.

Okay,

And there are tons of material,

Reading material,

Speeches,

Sermons on why tithing is the greatest thing to do.

And as much as people talk about tithing,

As much as people talk about how great it is,

People,

Christians,

Still struggle with being able to do it,

Struggle with should I do it or why am I doing it?

And it creates a defensiveness,

It creates some guilt and it's just difficult to talk about and it's difficult to receive information on it.

So today's podcast is not about the greatness of tithing.

It's not about whether or not you should or should not tithe.

I'm not talking about that today.

What we're going to talk about is the step before tithing,

The step that should happen before tithing.

That's what we're going to talk about.

But let me give you a little more lead in,

A little more backstory.

So this whole sensitivity when it comes to money,

We came about this honestly.

Society teaches us from our very first day here to now,

Society teaches us to hoard money to ourselves.

It teaches us to believe,

Think and act in scarcity.

There's not enough.

I got to hurry up and get mine before someone else gets it.

I need to have more than the other person.

I got to have this,

I got to have that.

Society teaches us to believe,

Think and act in scarcity.

And so when we're operating in scarcity and we're operating in this concept that there's not enough to go around,

Then we start fighting for money.

We start cheating for money and we start clamoring for money.

Now why specifically money?

Because money represents power.

It represents status.

It gets us attention.

It even gets us affection.

So it feeds any area of our egos that are lacking,

Any areas where we're lacking in,

Money seems to fill in the gap.

If you're not popular,

If you're socially awkward,

Get some money.

You will get some friends.

They may not be true friends,

But you will definitely get some attention.

Maybe you didn't achieve as well academically.

Maybe you were poor growing up.

Get some money.

You'll feel better.

For whatever reasons,

You'll feel better.

It won't necessarily be lasting.

And money doesn't always soothe the wounds like we think it would,

But at least it does in the beginning.

I'm just being honest.

So money holds a lot of weight with us.

And society teaches us to hoard the money,

Bring the money in,

Hold onto as much money as possible.

And so then you're faced with this concept of giving away 10% of it just because.

It's a very hard concept to swallow.

It's very hard to just give away this money nebulously when we're taught by society that the only way to feel like you have something is to quite literally purchase it.

We're very well trained in that thought process,

So well trained that it is unconscious.

And if you think that you are above all of that,

That you've achieved a certain level of enlightenment and you're above all of that,

Take a pay cut.

See how you feel.

Would you still do your job if you were doing it at 50% of what you're doing right now?

Think about some of the other decisions that you made.

People choose their professions based on the amount of money.

People choose locations based on the amount of money that they can make.

I mean,

It is ingrained in all of us.

This is no judgment.

It's just a statement of fact that societal training works.

We have absorbed it.

We are unconscious to it.

And it drives us particularly where it comes to the subject of money.

So you can imagine the concept of tithing is going to be a sensitive topic.

It's going to make people feel defensive when it comes to their money,

Especially if you're in a position where your household budget requires 100% of your pay.

And it is very difficult to take into consideration taking out 10%,

Giving it to this entity,

This God,

And believing and trusting that this God will take care of you.

You have $2,

999 worth of bills.

You make $3,

000 and you're asking someone to give up $300 when they've got $2,

999 or the bills and to trust this God to somehow supply the $299 deficit that has been generated by the tithe.

It's hard for some people to accept that.

And I'm just talking from a place of honesty.

It's very hard for people to accept that because we are trained,

Well-trained in scarcity.

So where we struggle is in the training,

In seeing greater value in the abstract,

In the intangible,

In the divine,

In the spiritual.

We continue to struggle in that area.

It is not as natural to us,

Even though we are spiritual and divine beings.

But the thing about being or operating in the abstract and operating in the intangible is just that.

We are surrounded by a world we can see,

We can touch,

We can smell,

We can taste.

We're surrounded by that world.

We are surrounded by a tangible world with tangible rules.

And so existing in,

Pulling on,

Operating in the spiritual realm while living in this tangible realm takes a bit of work.

Not everybody,

Very few people have a really good balance on their divine spiritual selves and the self that has to go to work every day and eke out a living in society as it stands right now.

It's very hard to find that balance.

Now just to be clear,

This podcast is not going to be about whether or not you should tithe.

There is enough literature,

There are enough sermons,

There are enough books written on that topic.

What I want to talk about is the step before tithing,

The understanding that we need to have before we get to tithing.

So for this podcast,

I want to focus on two very specific scriptures.

I want to address this internal conflict,

To address this defensiveness that we feel when it comes to the area of tithing.

So the two scriptures I want to reference are Romans 8,

The 38th and 39th verses,

And 2 Corinthians 9 chapter 7 verse,

And I'll actually read these out as we go along.

Okay,

So let's start with the first one.

Romans 8 chapter 38 and 39 verses.

They read,

For I am sure that neither death nor life nor angels nor rulers nor things present nor things to come nor powers nor height nor depth nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Beautiful verses.

What does this have to do with tithing?

Well,

Through our traditions,

If you grew up in the church like I did,

If you were a pastor's kid like I was especially,

Through our church traditions,

We are taught to give your 10% no questions asked.

Birthday money,

Christmas money,

Whatever money you get,

Give that 10% no questions asked.

And then there's a tendency though by our loving church traditions and our churches do love us and we love them,

But by tradition,

There is this tendency to perpetuate the idea that there are actions that we can engage in that break our relationship with God.

Basically if you don't tithe,

You are breaking your relationship with God.

Now I will say that there are certainly things we can do to strain our relationship with God,

But there is nothing according to Romans 8 verses 38 and 39,

There is nothing that we can do,

No behavior that we can engage in that will stop God from loving us.

God loves us intensely and fervently when we are quote unquote doing everything right and God loves us intensely and fervently when we are quote unquote doing everything wrong.

So we have to look at that.

Like I said,

There are things that we can do to strain our relationship with God.

For example,

Now if I wanted to believe in indiscriminately punching people in the face to deal with my problems,

Well God can't exactly use me while I'm in that state.

It would be very difficult for me to embrace God's messages of peace and forgiveness if I really,

Really want to believe that the solution to my problem is a good left hook.

But does God still love me?

Yes.

Does God still have promises for me?

Yes.

Does God still want me?

Yes.

All of that.

And God will continue to work with me until I can get to that place where I am vulnerable enough to Him to receive godly principles.

And then all the promises,

All the desires,

All the influence and the things that He wants me to do will still be there,

Ready to go as soon as I get rid of this idea of wanting to punch people in the face.

I know I'm being a little silly about that.

But my point is,

Is that God still has everything in place for me,

That He had in place for me from day one.

So even if I am walking this alternate path,

Even if I'm just look hopeless,

God still loves me,

God still has things for me,

And it's the same thing for you.

So God's loves and desires,

Promises for me,

Everything remains constant,

But it's just on hold until I'm able to open up my heart to God and let God work on adjusting my perspective.

So you see,

We can do things that strain our relationship with God,

But we cannot do anything to break it.

Everything separates us from the love of God,

And that's exactly what God meant when He said it.

So if you're not tithing,

You are not condemned.

Okay,

Let me repeat that.

If you're not tithing and you're feeling like you're on your way to hell,

Or you feel like I'm so guilty,

God can't do nothing with me,

That is not the case.

If you feel like God doesn't love you,

That is not the case.

God loves you.

Let me emphasize that.

God loves you.

There is nothing that you can do or not do that will separate God's love from you.

So God has blessings for you.

And I also want to emphasize that none of us are perfect.

If it's not a tithing thing,

Then it's a truthfulness thing or a lying thing,

Or it's a can't keep our hands to ourselves thing,

Or it's a gossiping thing.

We all have a thing.

Okay,

None of us are perfect,

Which is exactly what qualifies us to be in God's presence,

Exactly qualifies us for God's love.

So why am I telling you all of this?

Because when it comes to tithing,

The very first thing I need you to do before you think about putting a dime in the church or before you go and put that dime in the church is relieve yourself of this guilt that if I don't tithe or if I don't tithe consistently or if I give 8% instead of 10% that God's not going to love me anymore.

No,

Relieve yourself of that guilt first and foremost.

Don't look for other people to relieve you.

You need to relieve yourself because it is your thought that you're somehow ruining or have ruined your relationship with God.

It's your thought.

Even if someone said it,

You held onto it.

So you relieve yourself of the guilt.

Don't look for other people to let you off the hook.

You let yourself off the hook.

Because the thing is,

Before you can receive the concept of tithing,

Before you can really start to understand that concept,

Your guilt is standing in the way.

Your guilt is holding you up.

So right now you're going to feel more overwhelmed by your guilt or you're going to feel more overwhelmed by,

Well,

If I give this 10%,

I won't be able to pay my bills.

That's going to overwhelm you so much that you're not going to be able to receive anything that God is trying to talk to your heart about.

So the guilt is more of a hindrance to your growth in God than the actual not tithing.

So you got to relieve yourself of that defensiveness if you're going to hear God not only on the tithing but on anything else in your life.

Get rid of the guilt.

Just get rid of the guilt.

If I didn't say it already,

Get rid of the guilt.

Okay.

Now the next thing,

The next verse that we're,

I'm sorry,

The next scripture that we're referring to here is 2 Corinthians 9 chapter 7 verse.

And it reads,

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart,

Not reluctantly or under compulsion for God loves a cheerful giver.

And I pulled my scripture,

I don't know if I mentioned this before,

I pulled both of my scriptures from the English standard version.

So the King James version might read a little bit differently.

The new international version might read a little differently,

But I pulled mine from English standard version.

So 2 Corinthians 9 chapter 7 verse reads,

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart,

Not reluctantly or under compulsion for God loves a cheerful giver.

God wants our authenticity and our relationship with him.

He does not want anything done by tradition.

He does not want anything done by compulsion.

He doesn't want anybody to put on a show.

Because if you take your tithe and you put it in the church and you're grieving that 10%,

You have to push your arm,

You have to open your fingers to release the money into the offering plate.

God doesn't want that.

If you have to force yourself,

God doesn't want that.

It is of no benefit to you and it's not what God wants of you.

It's better,

And I know this is going to sound a bit controversial,

It is better for you to continue not tithing and walk with God and get your understanding of what tithing is first,

Get the wisdom first so that when you do go to tithe,

You're doing it with understanding,

With trust,

With faith,

And you're happy to do it.

So let me repeat that.

It is better for you to continue not tithing and build your relationship with God and get the understanding of the tithing so that you can do it in faith and trust with understanding and be happy to do it.

It is better to be like that than it is to tithe but to tithe in grief or to tithe under compulsion or to tithe because you don't want anybody looking at you or to tithe because everybody in your row stood up and now you feel like you got to give something.

No,

God loves a cheerful giver.

Now when I say cheerful,

I'm not talking about somebody who's grinning and laughing or dancing around,

Even though you could do that,

But that's not what God means by a cheerful giver.

A cheerful giver is somebody who has that understanding,

Has that wisdom of what tithing means,

And they have that internal joy.

They are a gracious giver.

They are a grateful giver.

They're a person that understands that the only way to receive is to give.

It's someone that understands that within their relationship with God and that God is the perfect provider.

It's someone who understands that their relationship with God is about trust and faith and an acknowledgement that God will take care of you and will walk with you.

That's what the cheerful giver is.

It is the person that has that solid understanding,

Not just lip service,

Not just saying,

Well,

Okay,

I read it.

I understand it.

No,

You have to live it.

You have to experience it.

You don't say you have trust in God.

You have trust and it's usually based on living through many experiences where you have had to lean on God.

So when it comes to your tithing,

If you,

In your honest assessment of yourself,

And this does not involve other people,

This is your own internal assessment and your honest assessment of yourself.

If your trust in God and your faith in God is a little shaky,

That's okay.

That's really okay because number one,

God loves you.

And number two,

God doesn't want you to do anything unless you are authentic in it and you're doing it out of the understanding and the joy of the relationship with God.

So if you're doing anything out of tradition,

Out of rote,

Out of embarrassment,

Out of anything in the name of God,

Please stop.

Please stop.

God does not want that for you.

It is better for you to stop that and to go to God and say,

Lord,

I'm going to be honest with you.

My trust is a little shaky right now.

My faith is a little shaky right now.

I trust you in this area of my life,

But I'm really having a hard time trusting you over here.

I need better understanding.

I need better enlightenment.

Talk to me and just open your heart to have this dialogue and to strengthen your relationship with God and don't worry about the act.

Build the relationship first and then the act or the action will follow.

So part of understanding this whole tithing concept is understanding that we will never have the perspective on knowing how things work.

See we kind of understand the giving and receiving thing.

We know that if you give money,

You receive your purchase.

Okay.

So we've got it from that angle.

We know how to give and receive in society.

I pay my $5,

You give me my cassette tape.

Yes,

I know I just dated myself when I said that.

But from that perspective,

That giving and receiving concept from the society perspective is a little bit skewed.

It's limited and we need to be able to translate that into the spiritual realm so that we understand that when we give back to God,

It strengthens our relationship with God.

And even though we don't know exactly how we're going to reap what we've sown,

We don't know exactly what we're going to receive for the giving,

We do know that we're going to receive.

So if anything,

You can acknowledge that once you get to this place of understanding and you start to tithe,

You can at least say,

Well,

The first thing I received from God is the comfort of trusting Him and another layer,

An added layer of faith.

You could say that.

But again,

The focus here is not about convincing you to tithe.

Rather it's about convincing you to build that relationship with God so that you can develop the understanding of tithing.

And that takes time.

No one's saying you got to get this done in 30 minutes or even in 30 days.

It's just about building the relationship.

That's what 2 Corinthians 9 chapter 7 verse is about.

If you're going to give,

Then you're giving according to your understanding,

According to your wisdom,

According to your strength in the relationship with God,

Depending on your trust,

Depending on your faith.

That's what you're giving according to.

Not out of tradition,

Not out of compulsion,

Not out of embarrassment.

So my whole point for this entire podcast is to recognize that nothing separates you from the love of God.

Not tithing doesn't make God not love you.

Did I say that correctly?

Not tithing does not take away God's love from you.

I think that's a better way to say it.

God's love is unconditional,

Meaning there are no conditions.

So if you don't tithe,

God still loves you.

If you do tithe,

God still loves you.

He is unconditional.

And then the second thing,

Being that cheerful giver,

Learning and understanding what tithing is so that you can be gracious with it.

What it means to God,

Why it's here in place,

What tithing is supposed to do.

Get all of that understanding,

Go deep with the learning and try to understand it.

Talk to your pastors,

Talk to ministers,

Read these various literatures that talk about tithing and stewardship and what have you.

Do whatever studying you have to do because not only does that strengthen your relationship with God,

It strengthens your understanding so that when you decide to tithe,

Whatever amount you decide to tithe,

You are doing it according to your level of understanding and God will bless you according to your level of understanding.

So I encourage you all today,

For those of you who are struggling with this concept of tithing and I was one that struggled as well.

I grew up in the church,

I grew up as a pastor's kid and so yes as a kid I gave my 10% but I didn't give with understanding,

I gave because that's what my parents told me to do.

But when I came into my own understanding,

I also struggled with the concept of tithing.

I also struggled with,

Well my bills are this much and God wants this much and how is that going to work?

And I had to go through the process of leveling up my understanding,

Strengthening my relationship with God and getting to a place where I can value tithing,

Where I can give cheerfully.

But that didn't happen overnight,

That took years,

Many years,

Many,

Many years and that's with me being a Christian,

That's with me believing in God.

But what I did was I purposely sought to strengthen my relationship with God.

I purposely sought to fix those shaky areas in my life with God.

I did that,

I didn't just sit back and say,

Oh well,

I'm not going to tithe or whatever.

Because that was an area where I felt defensive and sensitive,

I took it to God and I literally as easily as I'm talking to you,

I said,

God I need help in this area.

I'm not comfortable,

I'm not trusting.

I don't see how giving my 10% means anything.

And that's the conversation and that's the walk that I chose to take with God to get to a place of where yes,

Now I do value tithing and I do see the benefit of tithing.

But I had to learn that for myself without going by my relationship with God,

Which is why I did not want this podcast to be about why you should versus why you shouldn't tithe.

What I want to encourage everyone,

And this is with anything tithing or any other area,

The most important thing for you to take away from this recording and let me say it for the umpteenth time,

God loves you unconditionally.

Regardless of where you are or what you're doing,

God loves you.

And what God wants more than anything from you is an authentic relationship where you can build trust and faith where God can work with you and build you up.

God wants that way more than he wants your money.

So if you can take anything away from this podcast,

Take that with you.

Thank you so much for tuning in.

My name is Jamila Perry.

This is the Help My Unbelief podcast,

And I will see you next episode.

Reviews

Another deep one. Tithing is a sore subject for me, but I learned that God wants an authentic relationship with me, not one based on tradition and what my parents told me. I have to have my own relationship with Him and fix my jiggly parts with him. These talks are helping me understand better what I learned in the bible from birth.

🌷🙏❤️ Thank you Jamila!

Another Wonderfully PRACTICAL and WISE Talk on living life as a Christian in relation to the Scriptures❣️
I SO agree with what you share here, Jamila. But would you please consider a Talk on SACRIFICE. I have people in my life who initially had trouble (and still struggle to a lesser extent) with letting go of the “monetary” due to their deep need for financial security.
That has changed greatly, although they still guard finances (for the sake of “security”) but have grown in their Trust Of God and give more freely.
Jesus didn’t WANT to die, but His Love and Trust in His Heavenly Father and Love for us propelled Him to SACRIFICE His own life in Obedience to the Father and for our good.
So, shouldn’t we give (what we can with a trusting heart) even when we don’t want to?
Thank you so much for your dedication to sharing God’s Word and the WISDOM you have gained from your personal walk and study❣️