How To Reprogam Your Beliefs

If your reality doesn’t appear the way you want it to, why do you keep believing the same things over and over? On this episode of Have It All, Ilan discusses how we create our own realities. Our beliefs are what become our reality. How many times have you relived a moment, scrutinizing what someone said just to prove yourself right? We become so obsessed with being right, we are willing to sacrifice the truth. Ultimately we need to check in on situations more. Instead of reacting, analyze. Take a step back, and think about it. Most of the time our first reaction is the worst reaction.

Transcript

If you took that on,

Okay,

That my perception of reality is purely based on my beliefs,

Then you would quickly realize that you manifest everything.

Welcome to the Have It All podcast.

I'm Ilan Ferdman and along with my brother Guy,

We're Satori Prime.

We spent the last 16 years on a quest of mastery and not just in business,

All areas.

We've learned a lot about the history of our finances,

Our bodies,

Our relationships,

And most importantly,

Our minds.

You see,

While most people fantasize about their dream life,

We went out and created it and you bet we learned a few things along the way.

So if you want to gain new skills and tools that will help you achieve the life of your dreams,

Well,

You've come to the right place.

So get ready to have your mind expanded.

Implement what you learn here today and you'll start living the life of your dreams instead of just,

Well,

Dreaming about it.

Have It All,

Let's go.

Well,

My fellow Satoriians,

It has come to our attention that many of you are not yet aware of some massive news in the Satori Prime world.

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So Guy and I have recently created an app that you can now download on your iPhone or your Android device just by searching for Satori Prime in either iTunes or the Google Play Store.

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Things like life changing.

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I share this with everyone in my life and my favorite.

How is this free?

So if you want to join your fellow Satoriians in our very own exclusive community,

Then like I said,

Head either to your iTunes or Google Play Store and search for Satori Prime or simply go to app.

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So as soon as you join,

What we're going to do is we're going to give you access not only to our amazing community.

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And this is where you can begin to uncover all of these limiting beliefs and start upgrading them.

Things like money,

Overwhelm,

Procrastination.

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Come join our Satoriian family today.

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And now it's time for the episode.

So yeah,

I just come back.

Guy's actually on a plane.

He should be touching down in New York here in the next hour or so.

So I'm excited to finally see him again and spend some time after his world-wide adventure throughout the world.

I actually just came back from Phoenix,

Arizona.

I had the honor and privilege to speak in front of incredible,

Incredible people,

Dedicated,

Amazing human beings really out there to shift their ideas,

Their results,

Their beliefs,

All around entrepreneurship,

Starting something new online.

It was really,

Really powerful to be able to do that.

Got to share the stage with some amazing people.

You may have probably know them.

Some of you guys that are out here definitely do.

People like Stuart Ross,

Jake Kubisak.

I actually got to meet Ryan Dice,

Who if anyone's in the online marketing world,

You've probably come across that name.

Ryan Dice is someone that when Guy and I first started,

We actually got a lot of our training and education from,

Made a lot of money with his programs,

Made him a lot of money probably in that process.

And it was really cool to just come full circle six years later and got to share the stage with him and his team as well.

So it was a really,

Really fun experience.

And as I was coming home,

I was getting all these amazing messages from people.

I spoke twice at the event.

I spoke once,

Both actually were about beliefs,

But I spoke once just about beliefs and what are beliefs and things like that.

And then the other one was more about our beliefs around money and how we limit money and how we create money and manifest money or really anything in this world.

So it was really,

Really powerful.

So what I wanted to share with you guys today is a little bit about,

Like a 15,

20 minute version of what I took two hours basically to share with the group about beliefs,

Because I really do think it was super,

Super powerful.

And I think it's one of those things that kind of holds everyone back.

So the overarching thing that one needs to understand is that your life today,

The reality that you live in today,

Even we're not going to go into the whole part about there is no reality,

But what you're walking into today is a product of your beliefs.

Now something really interesting to understand is that things don't need to be true.

They just need to be true to you for you to believe them.

And in doing so,

What you end up figuring out is that if you took that on,

Okay,

That my perception of reality is purely based on my beliefs,

Then you would quickly realize that you manifest everything.

Okay.

And then from there,

What we spoke about is,

Okay,

Well,

If you don't,

Well,

What I was saying before,

Like it doesn't even need to be true.

It just needs to be true to you.

Right.

Now,

When something is true to you,

What we end up doing is we fight for making it right.

And that's why your reality shows up a very,

Very specific way.

What do I mean by that?

If you believe that making money is difficult,

If you believe that losing weight is difficult,

If you believe that working on your relationships is hard,

Then guess what you get?

You get that.

And you will literally align your reality to match your beliefs.

Even though if I stopped and asked you guys,

Okay,

Let's take a look at your relationships,

For example,

And pick any relationship.

Right.

If I said to you,

Does this relationship look the way you want it to look?

And just pick one that's a little bit challenging for you right now.

Right.

I would venture a guess that most of you would tell me that it doesn't.

And the irony of all of it is that you still manifest it the way it is because it proves you right.

So,

For example,

You had it that your wife or husband are a particular way.

They're lazy.

They're nagging.

They don't pay attention.

They don't appreciate me,

Whatever it might be.

And that was your belief.

That belief would give you a very particular perception of that human being.

That perception of that human being would give you your reality and in turn give you certain behaviors that would align with that reality.

Is this making sense,

By the way?

So now the question that all human beings should probably ask themselves and very seldomly do is,

Well,

If my reality doesn't look the way I want it to or desire to,

Then why do I keep believing the same things over and over?

Why do I keep saying the same things over and over that give me said reality?

And the reason,

You're welcome,

Holly.

And the reason we do that is because very few of us,

I think people that are in our programs,

For example,

Many of you guys know this.

We talk about this all the time.

And for some of you that aren't,

Maybe you just don't realize this.

But the human brain is programmed to be right.

The human brain would rather be right about its opinions and judgments than actually creating the result that you want in your life.

So what we do is we see certain things and then we opine and judge them.

We still want to be right about our opinions and judgments that we give up the ability to see things any other way.

And we stop believing that we have any say or control over that which is occurring in our lives.

If you were to remove your complaints about your spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend or kids or job,

Do you believe if you removed the complaints that your reality would show up differently?

In other words,

If you stopped complaining about your spouse or kids or boyfriend,

Girlfriend or job,

Would those people and or situations be able to show up differently for you in your life?

There's nothing that someone does or no way that someone is.

I'm going to say that again.

There's nothing that someone does or the way that someone is that is upsetting to you.

I hope you just let that sink in for a second.

Okay.

What you respond to is nothing else than your perception of what that person said or what that person did.

Okay.

So let that just kind of like marinate there for a second.

So Holly,

To your question,

When your husband,

For example,

And I know Holly well,

So when your husband does something or doesn't do something and you get triggered,

Can you start to see that it's not the thing that he did or didn't do that has you be triggered?

I'll give you guys an example.

Okay.

Shia,

My six year old son,

Over the past few weeks,

We've just had,

You know,

Some harder times,

Like he's been saying no a lot.

It's been hard to communicate with him.

And I was working with my coach and looking at this and it was an area of my life that wasn't at a 10.

And if you know what we strive for here at StoryPrime and our whole ethos of have it all is to have a 10 in every area of your life.

And I can honestly say that that was not a 10.

I wasn't loving the way that I was responding to him.

I wasn't loving the way that I was handling that relationship.

I was in fact loving being in that type of relationship.

It was really frustrating.

And so a question to ask yourself is,

Yes,

You feel the emotion,

Right?

And the emotion rises up.

So,

For example,

I felt frustrated.

And awesome question to stop and ask yourself is because look,

The easy thing to do is you make me frustrated.

You make me angry.

You make me upset.

Has saying that to anyone ever changed anything for you?

No,

It puts the other person on the defensive and it makes them have to be right about their position and makes you more upset,

More angry,

More frustrated.

So a great question to stop and ask yourself is why am I feeling frustrated?

What part of me is being triggered?

And when I truly started to dig and look at it with my son,

What was triggering me was not anything that he was or wasn't doing.

It was the fact that I didn't feel like I was being listened to.

You guys get that?

I was getting upset because I had the perception that I wasn't being listened to.

And I don't know about you guys,

But when you are not listened to,

That could be very frustrating.

Right?

Another aspect of me that was getting frustrated was I felt helpless.

Like I felt like nothing I was doing was working.

And so my little boy felt helpless,

Like he's not listening or I'm not being listened to and I can't make a difference.

Now,

As soon as I got that,

Right,

Again,

He's not doing anything to me.

I'm perceiving what he is doing and that is triggering something inside of me.

So the way to put a bow on this,

The way to communicate this,

Holly,

Is to say,

Hey,

When you did that thing,

I perceived and I,

Guys,

I had this conversation with my six-year-old son.

I approached him and I said,

Hey,

Shia,

I'm really,

Really sorry for the way that I handled the situation.

I didn't enjoy the way that I spoke to you.

I didn't enjoy how I handled the situation and it's not something that I'm committed to.

What I realized was that I perceived when you were saying no,

I made it mean that you're not listening to me.

And I felt really helpless and that's what really got triggered for me.

And because of that,

I got frustrated and I got angry and I raised my voice and I'm not committed to being that kind of father.

Here's the relationship that I want to create with you.

I want to create a relationship where there is no yelling.

I want to create a relationship where we get to love each other and have fun and create games and adventures.

That's the kind of relationship that I want to build.

Are you interested in doing that with me?

What do you think?

What does a six-year-old say?

No,

No,

Abba,

That sounds terrible.

Right?

And then the next piece is I got to,

With him,

Create what that gets to look like.

And I actually had a conversation with him and we created together.

No,

Because look,

Instead of getting angry and frustrated,

What if you got curious?

What if you actually investigated?

Hey,

Buddy,

I noticed that you've been saying no a lot.

Is there a reason?

Is it something that you're upset about?

Are you maybe trying to put your stamp of individuality on this?

Do you feel like maybe you're not being heard?

Right?

Because what we go to is we get so righteous about our feelings.

We get so righteous.

Like that is the way that person is.

It's not.

It's just your goddamn perception of the way that person is at that moment.

And that's what rises up all this reaction.

Hey,

I just wanted to pause here for a second and tell you about something that I realize many of you have no idea about.

So Guy and I have just released a brand new advanced training.

So after hundreds of emails and questions constantly asking us,

Well,

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How do I have it all?

We've created the five pillars to having it all.

So if any of the things we share with you here on the podcast have resonated with you,

Then I'd like to invite you personally to an all new training.

Now you can register for the next live class by heading to www.

Satoriprime.

Com forward slash register.

There you'll be able to register for the next live class.

Or if you're one of these people that I need it now,

You can always just watch the latest replay on that page as well.

This,

By the way,

My friends,

Is a robust in-depth training that will help you clearly see what's currently stopping you in any area of your life,

Be it your health,

Your relationships,

Your finances,

Or simply just maybe you want to manifest that big dream.

It will help you with all of that.

So again,

Go check it out by going to www.

Satoriprime.

Com forward slash register.

And now back to the podcast.

So you can get like if you went into a conversation and you felt like you weren't being heard or listened to and helpless,

That would create a certain reality for me.

Yeah.

And that would also create a very certain reaction from me.

So the behavior which came from the perception would I'm sorry,

The perception would create a behavior which would then create a different reality.

So if you take on that,

They're not responding to you.

You're responding to a perception of something that they're doing.

Right.

And you take a step back.

And the thing that I've been practicing is getting curious,

Just getting in there.

Like a lot of the times we react to something and that wasn't even the person's intention in the least.

So what if in that moment,

Instead,

I chose to say,

Hey,

I've noticed that you've been saying no.

Is there something is there's a way that I'm not communicating properly to you?

Or do you feel like you don't have a choice or say or you're not being listened to?

Because right now,

My perception when you say no,

Is that you're not you you're choosing not to listen to me.

Right.

Not angry,

Not upset there.

Everybody around you is constantly trying to provide you with feedback.

What you do with that feedback is up to you.

If you want to be right about something,

You can be right about something.

But I can assure you or and I can assure you that most of you have tried that and it doesn't work that great.

So that's really the process.

The process is realizing like,

OK,

This is my perception of the world.

That perception comes from a belief.

Right.

I have some some sort of belief which has been ingrained.

It's like below the surface roots,

All that stuff.

That belief is providing me that perception.

That perception that is triggering this reality.

So instead of reacting,

What you want to do is just give yourself that little bit of space to notice the reaction,

Not be the reaction.

I'm going to say that again.

Notice the reaction.

Don't be the reaction.

Allow for the reaction to be there.

Don't judge it.

It's not right.

It's not wrong.

It's not bad.

It's not anything.

It just is.

There is just a reaction.

A chemical response in your brain,

In your body is triggering some sort of experience for you.

You have a choice whether you buy into it or whether you just notice it.

How many of you your relationships would completely alter if you just gave yourself an extra five seconds before opening your mouth?

If you just noticed the reaction that's coming up and didn't respond to it like a knee jerk,

Automated reaction,

And actually took time and sat there and went,

OK,

Do I choose to react this way?

So for me,

And just going back to Shia or parenting in general,

You know,

Like the first knee jerk reaction that comes out of you as a parent is exactly the way that your parent would.

So as a parent,

My assertion,

And because I know this happens to me all the time,

Is something happens.

And the first thing that wants to blurt out of my mouth and the first way I want to respond is the way that my dad behaved with me.

And sometimes I can catch it and I can choose to act differently.

And sometimes I can't.

And when I can't,

And I don't know if this is your experience,

But when I can't and it doesn't work that way and I respond that way,

I never leave that interaction going,

Yes,

Elon,

You handled that incredibly well.

That was amazing parenting.

I always leave that going,

Oh,

Man,

I wish I would have done that differently.

Right.

That's something that I learned.

And you guys,

Please,

Like,

Please take this on and do this with your with the people close to you.

OK.

When you notice it,

Even if it's two days,

Three days,

A week after,

You notice that the way that you handle a certain interaction,

The way that you communicate it didn't land the way you were committed to it landed.

OK.

Didn't leave.

You didn't leave that interaction going.

Wow.

That was so amazing.

I'm so proud of the way I handled it.

You kind of left feeling shit.

Go and clean it up with them.

Just go and clean it up with them.

How many of you guys,

You know,

When someone comes to you and is like,

Listen,

Our last conversation,

I really didn't love the way I handled it.

And I had time to think.

And here's here's how I would have done it.

And what happened was I perceived X,

Y,

And Z.

And I know you didn't mean that.

And you can even ask them like in the moment,

Right,

When you're getting triggered,

The easiest way is just to check in with the person because your perceptions are always going to come.

Right.

Like you always have opinions and you always have judgments about everything.

That's what the brain does.

The easiest way to do is like,

Hey,

I'm noticing that I'm getting frustrated because I have a perception that you're not listening to me.

Are you not listening to me?

And if the other person is like,

No,

I'm absolutely listening to you,

Then guess what?

Leave your perception.

You can check in with that person.

Are you doing this?

You know,

Did you mean this when you said that?

Did you intend this?

How many times have you done things with the best of intentions?

And the other person is just irate.

You've done something.

You got all these like good intentions and all that stuff.

And it just totally blows up.

Why?

Because their perception didn't pick up on the intention.

Their perception of what was happening was so different.

And instead of having these like little micro adjustments,

If you will,

Throughout these conversations,

We just get so righteous like,

No,

They're trying to piss me off right now.

Are they really?

Are they really?

Do you walk around actively trying to piss people off?

No.

Have you pissed people off?

Yeah,

Plenty.

And even with the best of intentions,

You still sometimes piss people off.

And we the same,

Right?

We get pissed off.

So just a practice of one.

What am I feeling?

What?

Why am I feeling that?

What is the perception that is creating that emotion in me right now?

And check in.

Step two.

Hey,

I'm noticing that this and this is happening.

Is that what you were intending?

Did you mean this?

No,

No,

No,

I didn't mean that at all.

Here's what I actually meant.

Oh,

Wow.

Great.

Perception done.

Super simple.

Super,

Super simple.

And then create a game that works for both of you.

So one last reminder before we wrap up here today,

If you haven't already grabbed the app that all of your fellow Satorians are going gaga over,

Then I would recommend to do it right now.

Well,

I guess if you're driving,

Maybe not just a second.

But when you get a chance,

Go to your iTunes or Google Play Store,

Search for Satori Prime and download it today.

You'll get access,

Like I said earlier,

To an amazing and life changing 10 part mini series.

And if you want to know the clear steps to create the have it all life for yourself,

This app is an absolute must.

Like I said,

And you can hear in my voice,

We are incredibly excited to share it with you and be with you inside of our community.

So we'll see you there.

So that's it,

My friends.

That's today's episode.

I just want to thank you for being part of our have it all family and truly,

Truly thank you for listening to our podcast.

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Love you all and we'll see you on the next have it all podcast.

Have an amazing,

Amazing day,

My friends.

Reviews

Awesome! Easy and uplifting to listen to because he talks like you're out at a cafe with him chatting over a table. Like a friend. So good. Loved the insights about your own perspective to the behaviours of others. That was needed. Both for myself and in reverse, to understand how others may perceive me. Looking for more from these guys now!

Excellent life wisdom!!! Thank you! The only thing I didn't enjoy was the advertising abruptly entered in the middle of the talk.
Can you please tell me what podcast number or title this is on your podcast channel? I want to share it with my adult children.

Great podcast ! Took away some awesome pearls of wisdom !!

Transformational - will check you out for more - thank you 🤩

I loved this! Your insight and tools are very helpful. 🙏🏼

Excellent! Thank you for this great information and for sharing a real experience that really tied it all together.

Thank you! Love this... First time hearing your stuff and I will be coming back for more and going to check out the 10 day for starters❤