Walking Each Other Home - Sept 1, 2022

Through mindfulness practices, focusing on antiracism, we increase our emotional resilience, recognize our biases, and make real our common humanity. "Walking Each Other Home" is a guided embodied meditation practice.

Transcript

Good morning,

Good afternoon,

Good evening.

Sorry for the little hiccup in beginning there.

And I apologize for last week.

I know some people came and I wasn't here and the irony is that I've been working.

I don't even know if I want to use the word work,

But I've been caught into a very white privileged system,

Which I'm a part of always,

Identifying as a mostly white body.

And just one particular event this week that was very painful.

That was very not unexpected and definitely a byproduct of a system and organization and institution that is very autocratic and is very,

You know,

Unconsciously and sadly can't see its own witness its own whiteness and is unwilling or unable to change systems to have different thoughts in the mix to practice a both and to practice,

You know,

That there's not a perfect way.

We know that one of the,

There's a couple of white body supremacy,

Cultural norms,

Perfectionism,

You know,

Being right,

Conflict avoidance.

These are,

You know,

All played out to a large degree this week.

And I,

You know,

I've received hate mail before and I've received pushback and yeah,

So it's just,

It's not,

It's okay.

This is,

It's okay in the sense that it's not a complaint.

It's I'm just sad.

I'm very sad.

So today's practice is just going to be focusing on,

On,

I guess,

On the body.

I guess on,

Well,

It's always focused on the body because this is embodied anti-racism.

This is mindfulness work and always paying attention to the body as we sit and as we breathe.

But this morning in this short time together,

It's deepening the intention for justice.

It's deepening the intention for change,

Building the stamina really.

As I work through my own challenges with this week and yeah,

So that's what I want to bring myself back to what Reverend Ogun and I repeatedly say with love,

Justice,

And liberation for all.

And that means giving voice to things that are uncomfortable,

Giving voice to things that are just plain wrong.

Every perspective is not necessarily welcome in a space that I'm in if I'm facilitating it.

And even if it was not all perspectives carry the same weight.

And I need to remember that as I navigate through and see my own white fragility,

You know,

Popping up and my own attachment to white body supremacy,

Cultural norms,

Like meritocracy,

Like being right.

As much as I might point the finger at someone else,

I certainly have the capacity to do that.

So this morning is really about meeting myself.

I mean,

I said deepening the intention for justice,

Deepening the intention for that,

For liberation,

For building the stamina,

For building,

You know,

It's,

I mean,

I want to say thicker skin,

But I don't mean thicker skin,

Like trying to rebuff everything,

But strength,

Right,

Stamina,

Resilience,

All of which are necessary for deconstructing the world we have and reconstructing a new one.

And it can't reconstruct from the consciousness that created it.

So I just have to remember that as well when I consider what happened this week and remember that can't,

You know,

From the consciousness that created it,

New is not going to emerge.

So that's okay.

That's the space I'm going to hold.

That's the space that,

Yeah,

That's the space I'm going to hold.

Let's take a deep breath together.

As you hear my voice,

Whether you're here live now or listening to it later,

We begin with a pause,

Right?

And all things we begin with a pause.

Breathing,

Not changing the pace of the breath,

But just sensing into my body,

Breathing and sensing the breath,

Feeling the breath moving.

You can have your eyes open.

You can have them closed.

If they are open,

Maybe lower the gaze.

I have a sacred object on my desk that I often lower my gaze and soften my gaze around that object.

It reminds me of the pause.

It reminds me that each one of us,

And particularly me,

Because I need some attention to me today,

Some softness and tenderness for Kelly today,

But it reminds me of that.

It reminds me to give myself large doses of grace.

And just keep that breath,

Focusing on the breath.

You know,

And what I realized this week and what happened is that,

You know,

This,

What's going on,

What I'm experiencing,

And even today,

What I'm talking about,

And as I kind of settle into me,

As I meet myself,

That this is,

That nothing is the way it was.

Nothing,

You know,

The ways in which things have been going,

They don't work the same way anymore.

They just don't.

And they won't.

And as much as there are individuals that believe they have the way,

They just,

They don't.

So,

And that is what it is,

Right?

I can't change another.

So let me come back to the breath.

Things don't work the same way that they used to.

And so this practice is useful for meeting,

You know,

What is extraordinary around us,

But also what's really,

Really ordinary,

Really ordinary reality.

And on the way to that,

You know,

Getting,

Coming here together,

I just breathe.

I just pause to remember that the way things work,

They just don't anymore.

And that is this path of embodied anti-racism.

Racism is thoroughly embedded in our culture.

It's the consequence of the work of our ancestors who built and sustained and often crushed by centuries of systems of race making and place making.

And so today here we are,

Even though everything that we're confronted with is certainly not laughable,

May at times not seem very hopeful,

But in some way it is extraordinary.

It's sometimes painful.

This journey is sometimes exhilarating.

But this path that we're on,

This embodied anti-racism is a way that has persisted.

It may not have been in your presence,

But it is a way that has always been operating,

I think in the background,

And we have to meet it.

And we can choose to meet it with our head in the sand,

To not confront it,

To show up in it.

We can meet it where we just hope it'll all pass us by.

And that's very,

Can be very seductive and easy as a white body to do that.

But being human in the true sense of the word,

To be fully human means to choose to meet this life.

Not as we would like it to be,

Not as it used to be once upon a time,

But meet it how it is now and here.

So let's pause for a moment.

Take a breath.

What does it mean to meet life?

Not as I would like it to be,

Not as it used to be,

But what it is right now.

Pause.

Hear those words,

What images come to mind,

What feelings,

What emotions,

Where in your body do you sense it?

There are moments when I think about meeting life where it is,

And that's what it means to be fully human.

There are moments when I can feel the contraction.

So again,

Just breathe,

Noticing what emerges when you think about meeting life as it is,

Not as I would like it to be,

But from a place of acknowledging and knowing that it will never be the same again.

It just never will.

And yet even when things are not working,

Even when things aren't working,

There is a way in which we can find comfort in that consistency of not workingness.

There's a comfort by the familiarity with things that are failing,

With things that have already failed,

Things that have already fallen apart,

That are in our lives.

We have developed some comfort around those.

And we know that when we meet life,

We also are meeting ourselves.

We know that things around us of life are not working,

And there's a familiarity to the things that are not working.

And yes,

It can be uncomfortable and devastating and painful,

But recognize it and then let's corral our energy.

Take a breath.

Imagine whatever fireflies are flitting about,

We corral that energy so that we can be present to what is.

What things are not working?

What things are not working have I gotten comfortable with?

And the irony is that I can protest those things by putting my head in the sand,

By numbing myself out.

And we do that individually,

And we do it collectively,

And we just disappear somewhere in the back of our mind.

Whether we are specifically talking about climate crisis,

We're talking about the droughts and the fires and all of that turbulence.

Maybe I'm waiting for someone else to make it right.

Maybe I've given up to my own efforts.

But our practice,

Right,

Our embodied practices come back to the breath,

Come back to the breath in the belly,

And then really inhabit what it means to be human.

And it's really against the principle of life,

The activity of life to be,

It really is against life to want something to be different than it is.

To put our head in the sand to what is unfolding,

To hide out in comfort,

To hide out and someone else will take care of it.

So let's breathe again and bring ourselves again back into being settled.

Have your breath mean that there is no way to go back,

That we are breathing the same air,

That we are breathing the new.

That our breath says we must move and let go of the idea that somehow things will be back and they won't.

Often in one breath we know it and we say it and in the next breath,

You know,

Look here we are repeating examples that say the opposite.

We may know that things will never be the same and we need to be being that in small steps.

Take another deep breath.

Imagine the ways that you still think somehow we can go back to something.

And if you find yourself going,

That's not me,

I would invite you to pause,

To pause.

It can be very subtle,

It can be very persistent.

And it's there.

And if we are to engage in being fully human,

We need to meet ourselves,

We need to meet life right where it is and we need to meet ourselves right where we are,

With tenderness,

With grace,

With conviction.

And when we don't do that,

We suffer.

We don't suffer because of how things are,

We suffer because we're not willing to meet them.

You know,

There's ordinary suffering that comes from pain,

Our sensitive little bodies.

There's been a loss of life,

A loss of parents,

Of friends,

Of lovers,

Of jobs,

Of income,

Of lots of loss of access to our faculties,

Right?

Our memory,

How we function,

Our relationships.

There's a loss of maybe knowing what's firm and what's foundational,

Who we used to be,

Who are we going to become?

Maybe a loss of innocence and wanting to go back into a place in which we just didn't know and how we are as a human.

This is how we are reminded,

That in this very practice of returning to myself,

Returning to human over and over,

I find someone new there.

I find me there every single time.

Take a breath,

Bring yourself to how am I meeting life?

How am I meeting myself?

Remembering that who I am meeting is not who I once was.

That's the big one for me this week.

Who I am meeting is not who I once was.

So I'm going to pause in the quiet and ask yourself,

Remind yourself,

First remind yourself to be fully human means to meet life right where it is,

Not how I would like it to be,

How it used to be,

How I think it might be,

But how is it right now?

The good,

The bad,

And the ugly,

Particularly the ugly.

And what's not working?

Notice our comfort with that and stuckness.

And then take another breath and ask yourself,

How am I meeting me?

How am I meeting myself in that place?

It's not the same me I used to be.

And rather than looking around for someone else from another time and another place,

It's to return,

Not to find something familiar,

Comfortable,

That never moves in the midst of a world where life is constantly changing.

It's coming back to,

Oh,

I've changed too.

And if I haven't,

It's time to.

How am I meeting life as it is?

What thoughts come to mind?

What images?

What emotions?

What physical sensations?

And then how am I meeting me?

And who's the me that I'm meeting?

I'll just be still for a moment.

Let's take another breath in.

And make this your practice.

Pause,

Slow,

How am I meeting life as it actually is?

We will never go back to what was.

And also I want to end on the note that it's all going to be okay.

The world is going to be okay.

My little corner of it will be okay.

But not because I've found some bliss space,

Not because I'm ignoring,

Leaving reality or spiritually bypassing,

But rather because I've opened myself to meeting it.

I've opened myself to choosing to meet life as it is with tears,

With frustration,

And always with a sense of,

Oh,

Always with a sense of there's more.

There is a heaviness to life.

And we can meet life as it is.

Every time I choose to meet it as it is,

I am making my life my own.

Every time I choose to meet life as it is,

I meet myself as I am a different me.

And then I make life what I want it to be.

And it's my choice to meet that life.

To meet that life where everything has changed.

So have a wonderful day,

Night,

Morning.

I wish you well.

Go forth and pause and breathe.

And remember that you are meeting life as it is.

You are meeting you and hopefully a new you each time.