Walking Each Other Home - July 21, 2022

Through mindfulness practices, focusing on antiracism, we increase our emotional resilience, recognize our biases, and make real our common humanity. "Walking Each Other Home" is a guided embodied meditation practice.

Transcript

Welcome to our embodied anti-racism mindfulness practice this week.

I'm Reverend Kelly Isla,

And it's always a privilege.

And I think sometimes I do this practice more for me than anyone else or for the world.

Although I do know that by doing my own work,

My own inner work,

Doing work,

That it is an act of solidarity.

It is an act of social justice.

It is an act of racial justice.

So every Thursday morning,

We do a Facebook live.

So you may be watching this at some other time,

Not necessarily live right now.

And today is I wanted to talk about compassion.

Can't ever talk about compassion enough,

Right?

Compassion for self and compassion for others.

So that's what the focus of our practice is going to be this morning by engaging in some self-reflection,

Engaging in some kindness for ourselves.

You know,

Kristen Neff,

Who is the world's Dr.

Kristen Neff,

I really should say,

She's the kind of world expert on self-compassion,

Not the only one,

But she has several books and she's very,

Very well known.

And I discovered her work many years ago around self-compassion.

And there's three components to it that I just want us to hold as we move through our practice this morning.

And that is for self-compassion,

It's about kindness,

Being kind,

Being kind to ourselves.

I don't know about you,

But sometimes I'm not so kind to myself and you wouldn't even know it.

It's oftentimes just within the words that I hold about myself,

The things I say about myself that sometimes are just,

I wouldn't say to,

There's a lot of people I wouldn't say it to or think about,

You know,

Or how I think about my body.

That's one of the more challenging places where I'm not very kind,

Not very forgiving.

I'm not,

Just go with the flow,

But kindness.

So being kind is the first one.

And again,

I'm talking about self-compassion.

So kindness for self.

Another aspect of it is mindfulness.

That's why we do this practice.

Mindfulness is just about bringing our attention,

Intention right to the here and now.

You know,

Mindfulness is not a,

You know,

There's a lot of ways that mindfulness can be a practice in our lives in terms of,

You know,

Doing the everyday things of life,

Running errands,

Checking email,

Washing the dishes,

Doing laundry,

That we often just do mindlessly,

Meaning we don't even pay attention.

But mindfulness is an invitation to just kind of pause,

Not necessarily stop,

But pause and really be with whatever it is that's in front of you.

And then the last component is called common humanity.

And again,

These are,

This is about self-compassion and common humanity means whatever I'm experiencing,

However I'm feeling,

However I'm suffering,

You know,

Whatever obstacle or challenges in front of me or on my plate,

It's a reminder,

The common humanity piece is a reminder that I'm not alone.

I'm not alone.

You're not alone,

Ever.

Although we sometimes may think that or feel that way.

And yet it's just isn't so.

So,

You know,

This work from Kristin Neff around self-compassion,

It does more than just help us heal.

It gives us strength to stay in the difficult things.

It gives us strength to just kind of notice where,

Okay,

Maybe not a way to shame or blame,

But a way to,

Maybe I'm not living my best self today.

Maybe I'm,

You know,

Was a little bit off my mark.

So the self-compassion,

It allows us to stay in the fire of our conflicts.

It allows us to stay in the fire of our difficulties by just simply pausing,

Noticing the stress as it arises,

Uncomfortability,

Inviting conscious reflection on the suffering,

Not running from it.

And by doing that,

It allows us to see that we're wounded,

That we need to pause and to work with what is right in front of us in ways that are essential to our nurturing and to our healing.

Because when we notice that we're suffering,

We can meet that suffering by recognizing that,

As I said,

That common humanity,

We recognize that all humans suffer in similar ways from time to time.

So we can step up and offer kindness to ourselves,

Kindness to others,

And the suffering,

The discomfort,

The,

You know,

Suffering.

There's lack of a better word,

I think,

In some moments.

But our suffering really becomes a conscious gateway into,

From ourselves,

Because it's always the individual and community,

Right?

It's not an either or.

But it becomes a conscious gateway into a collective,

A common humanity,

A collective experience,

Which is at the heart of healing the wounds of racism,

And any kind of othering that we do.

And it's also a way to minimize the likelihood that these wounds would turn into grievances or revenge or,

You know,

Not showing up as our holiest self,

As we say here at Project Sanctus.

And again,

It's not about trying to reach some place of perfection.

It's just,

It's practicing self compassion,

Which then extends to compassion for ourselves,

To self compassion,

And then reaching out.

Because it's a communal thing.

We don't do this alone.

Suffering naturally occurs in life.

So it's a way to,

You know,

Focusing on compassion today for self and others is a reminder of that we don't have to engage in ways that do harm.

We can engage in ways that do less harm.

And we can engage in ways that just help decolonize our mind,

Our body,

Create a culture of anti racism.

So that's my focus for today is that the compassion for self and others.

So if you're not already comfortable,

Or,

You know,

Seated,

Find a comfortable posture.

Probably maybe how you usually sit.

You don't have to change how you may usually sit,

But just find a comfortable position.

Notice putting your feet on the floor.

You know,

You can actually do the practice we're about to do,

You can do it standing up.

But if you're sitting down,

Just notice the your posture,

Let it be a natural posture and then pay attention to your breathing.

Actually pay attention to the sensations,

The physical sensation.

Can you feel the breath moving in and out of the mouth into the lungs or just you feel your belly rise as you inhale.

If you breathe through your nose,

Can you feel kind of the air that cools,

You know,

The nostrils as it moves into,

Into your head and then into the lungs.

Wiggle your toes on the floor and be in this present moment.

Listen to my cat who is joining in.

One more inhale,

Exhale.

Dropping into this moment as you follow my voice and follow your breath.

Now bring your focus for a moment to,

To any memory,

Whether that memory was that comes up for you around race and racism,

Whether that memory is something from yesterday,

A year ago,

Five years ago,

Any memory that comes up for you when you think about race and racism,

Right?

This is not an exercise in finding the happy place.

This is really go with the first gut.

And usually,

You know,

A particular moment or memory on racism that comes up is more often than not is,

Is something that's uncomfortable and maybe challenging and noticing suffering.

It doesn't have to be with something within your life,

But just any memory around race and racism.

And then notice the sensations in your body.

Where are those sensations most noticeable?

For me,

It's my shoulders.

I feel like rocks have been put on my shoulders.

Scan your body for a moment and notice the sensations and where specifically where you feel the physical sensation.

And what feelings or emotions are arising?

Is there sadness,

Their anger,

Their resentment,

Their fear,

Confusion,

Rage,

Numb.

Don't hold your breath,

But take a breath in.

Whatever emotions,

A couple of them that really surfaced.

Note where they arise in your body.

For me,

It arises in my belly.

It's a feeling of uncertainty,

Confusion,

Fear.

It arises in my belly.

And it just,

And the physical sensation of that is,

Is just,

It's very heavy.

Something is sitting on my belly.

I know for some people,

It may be challenging to name the emotions,

Feelings,

But that's part of our mindfulness practice.

It's actually a core element of mindfulness is being able to name,

Being emotionally aware and name them.

Not about getting it right,

Not about getting it perfect,

But just giving a name.

Bring kindness to yourself.

Bring kindness to yourself.

Any reactions that you're noticing as we sort of move through this practice.

Stay with the discomfort,

Stay with the feelings,

Work on what you're feeling.

If you need to pause and write it down,

Please do that.

What is it that you feel?

What are the sensations,

The physical sensations that come with those?

Is there a heavy heartedness?

Is there tightness in the chest?

There a sense of emptiness?

Tension anywhere.

I usually have tension in my jaw.

I realize I'm holding my jaw.

Sense whatever is arising,

However subtle.

Don't move quickly through anything.

Maybe just stay with one or two emotions,

One physical sensation.

If you find intense sensations arising,

Then slow down and pause.

Just take a nibble.

Don't have to take all of it and gorge on it.

Just take a nibble.

Slow down.

You can come back to this at any time.

Because this is a memory of yours,

Memory of race and racism.

You can return to that at any time to nibble at the feelings,

Nibble at the sensations,

To offer yourself kindness,

To be mindful.

Breathe in and out as an act of expansion,

As an act to allow this greater awareness.

For some,

We may have a response of wanting to be free of any of these feelings and sensations.

How do I get away?

How do I stop this discomfort?

Take one hand and rest it over your heart.

Put the other hand and rest it over your belly,

Lower belly.

And breathe in and out.

Because your hands are bringing you compassionate touch.

Just leave your hands,

One over the heart,

One over the lower belly.

Breathe in and out so that you feel the support that your compassionate hands,

Your compassionate touch is bringing to you.

Who is a person in your life that has nurtured and offered love and support?

Maybe it's a pet.

Could be someone from your own life.

Could be a historical or spiritual lineage.

It may be more than one person or one pet in service.

Just take the first image.

Someone who has nurtured and offered love and support to you.

Take the first image.

And bring that image to life.

Just continue to breathe in and breathe out with openness and have that image become as vivid as possible.

You can see the color of their eyes or hair,

Clothing.

You can see how they hold their mouth and their head.

Maybe you can even smell the clothes that they wore.

And sense into the feelings of warmth,

Of ease,

Of that love,

Of that nurturing.

And as you do that,

Thoughts of struggle or judgment,

Discomfort that has arisen from the memory of racism,

Just allow that to fall away and settle into breathing in and out with compassion for yourself.

And let's just take a minute in the quiet to hold the image in your mind,

Hold that image of the person that offered loving support,

That nurtured,

That was compassionate.

And really make it as vivid as possible.

Bring the emotions to life.

Just take a moment,

A minute in the quiet and do that as much as you can and allow that sense of that good feeling,

That warmth.

Notice the quality of your heart space.

Is it a little warmer under your hand?

Notice any effects that sort of move through your body from head to toe.

Let's just do that for a minute in the quiet.

Mary Wroblewski Now imagine those feelings of being supported,

Of being nurtured,

Of compassion.

Imagine them expanding beyond the bounds of your physical body.

Imagine them reaching out to another,

Whether that person is near you or is far away.

And then extend it to those feelings of warmth,

Of compassion,

Of nurture is the best word that's coming from my heart.

And then extend that to others that you don't even know who experience the pain of racial wounding right now.

And then extend it even more to any person with any sort of pain or suffering.

See it moving out from you.

Feel that loving kindness moving out from beyond your physical body in ways that you can't even imagine.

But know we'll reach others.

We know we'll relieve the suffering of others because that's how compassion works.

So if you haven't already done so,

Bring your hands back to just resting comfortably in your lap,

Palms up,

Palms down,

Whatever's comfortable for your hands.

And allow all the images that you've been holding to just gently fall away,

Just dissolve.

The feeling and hearing your breath,

Just rest in the awareness of sitting,

Just simply sitting and breathing.

So we move through the rest of our day knowing that at any time we can pause and return to resting in this awareness,

To resting in self-compassion,

Being kind to ourselves,

Slowing down and being mindful of what we're doing and thinking and feeling right in the moment.

And remembering that whatever discomfort,

Disease,

Woundedness,

Hurt,

Pain,

We are not alone.

There is a shared humanity.

We are not alone in our suffering.

And may you have a day filled with self-compassion,

Which then naturally extends to relieve the suffering of others.

We are designed as compassionate preachers.

So have a glorious day.