Setting Intentions

Intentions! Our first 2021 episode explores the intentional mindset we want to embody and how we hope to grow in the coming year. We’ll talk about choosing a one-word theme to help us focus on our intentions, and what we envision it providing for us over the year. We also share personal goals for 2021 and healthy paths towards achieving those goals. We’re all about intentions, not resolutions. This spiritual journey requires gentleness and a focus on progress, not perfection. Be kind to yourselves.

Transcript

You've arrived at Pretty Spiritual Podcast,

Where we share our spiritual journeys to empower yours.

Come on in.

Yeah,

Okay.

No,

Seriously,

Come in.

Hello,

Everybody.

Hi.

Welcome to 2021.

We're here and we're masked and we're muffled.

We are a little muffled.

So we wanted to say that.

Yeah,

We're trying to be mindful of the shelter in place that's still happening in the Bay Area.

And it's the year after 2020.

That's true.

So it's the future.

That's math.

That's math.

Here we are.

Here we are.

We hope in 2021 to have far more meetings without masks.

Who knows?

Let's just see what happens.

Let's roll with it.

Okay.

So our last episode,

We hope you got to check it out.

We really celebrated and reflected on the growth and integration we achieved and worked really hard on in 2020.

Yeah,

I really felt a lot of hard work.

Nowhere to hide.

No,

It was- That's what I,

That's my tagline for 2020.

Nowhere to hide.

Here I am in my mask alone in my room.

Crying.

No,

No,

No.

Lots of emotions,

Not just- Yes,

It was a range of emotions and we had the gift of experiencing them.

Oh,

Nice.

An opportunity for growth.

Oh,

Opportunity for growth.

Yes,

Yes.

So we wanted to use this first episode of 2021 to intentionally look forward to the goals we hope to set,

To think about the mindset we want to embody and consider how we want to grow in the coming year.

And we hope it's also an invitation for you to do the same thing.

So during the podcast today,

We're going to talk about what our trajectory is with that,

And then also offer some tools to get you in the mindset of that if you are so inclined.

And I just want to say that I'm so happy for people who do well with resolutions,

But we thought we'd really focus on intentions because sometimes resolutions can be harsh and we wanted this to be about progress and not perfection.

Absolutely.

So I don't want to give away ponies word for 2021,

But it has to do with not being harsh.

That's right.

The opposite of harshness.

The opposite of harshness.

Thank you.

For not revealing.

So nice.

So we're going to talk about choosing a one word theme,

And I've always heard people,

This is nothing new.

This idea of we certainly didn't create it.

We did not.

We're just finding tools and using them.

Yeah.

That's totally what we do.

We're like,

That looks cool.

Let's try this.

And I have actually never done it.

A lot of people around me have,

And Pony and I were talking about it.

I think you said that you had chose one and then we got on an Instagram live and started chatting about it and a lot of listeners started engaging with us about their words and we're like,

This is really cool.

Theirs were so good.

They were really good.

And we're like,

Let's,

Let's talk about how we can do this.

So we wanted to talk about what our words are,

What they mean,

And also share some tools about how to perhaps come to one on your own if you haven't.

And we are going to talk about our personal goals for 2021 and like action steps we can take to get there.

And then also we want to share about our plans for the podcast.

And specifically we have a really fun idea cooking.

Pony thought it up about a virtual community meeting.

So at the end of the podcast,

We'll share how you can get involved with that.

If you want to do something kind of interactive with us.

Yeah.

So Ms.

Pony,

What is your word for 2021?

How did you set it up?

How did it come to you?

And then also,

Do you have any personal goals for 2021 you want to talk about?

Okay.

Wow.

Yeah.

We're getting right into it.

Well,

The word that I chose for 2021 is gentleness.

So exciting.

And yeah,

I think when choosing a word for me,

It was really nice because I'm noticing on this healing journey that there was this lack of intimacy with self.

I was kind of looking to other people on how to do this and how to figure it out and what I should be and what seems like the right thing or what would be the right thing.

And it was so nice to cultivate this intimacy with myself is what I really felt like with integration and all of the hard won spiritual work from last year and getting to know myself the opportunities that 2020 really presented for me.

So the word that came to me was gentleness because it was so clear for me of the harshness that I have been using as a strategy as I was still in survival mode.

Really this idea of learning to thrive by being really gentle and loving myself is definitely a new perspective for me and a whole new intention.

I really have to have attitude awareness.

Oh,

The mindset that we want to embody.

For me,

I have this intention of gentleness.

I really have to have this awareness of the type of mindset that I currently have right now.

And as I got to know,

I've been getting to know myself on this journey and like really accepting and loving myself no matter what it was without the judgment of what I should be or who I could be or what I wish I was.

But the awareness of yeah,

The mindset that I have,

Which is really,

Really harsh,

Which was a strategy for survival,

Like I was saying.

So in the moment,

I get to acknowledge that and nurture myself and the parts of me and then remind myself,

Oh,

Right,

That word gentleness.

Gentleness is actually the mindset and the intention that I'm setting for myself that I want.

And I love to look up words because I think I know all the words and then I look them up.

And I'm like,

Of course,

One of the definitions for intention is the healing process of a wound.

And I was like,

Thank you for intention.

Yeah.

Wow.

I know.

And so I was really not feeling connected with the word intention.

Things I should do.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Exactly.

And so when I read the definition of intention and the healing of a wound,

I thought,

Wow,

You know,

This old yeah,

This old way of being this harshness and this just like forcing and just hurting myself into being something different.

And now with this gentleness and this healing of these old ways of living,

I'm really looking forward to 2021 and this new mindset and knowing that I can help myself along and that with each passing moment,

I can act as though anyways,

That's part of my tools.

So I'll get into that in a minute.

Yeah.

Oh,

Yeah.

But yeah,

So we'll move on to that into the tools,

Which is a phrase that really helps me to remind myself how to think about the mindset that I want to embody and that this is a choice and I have agency and that I can love myself into being different.

Who knew?

Yeah.

Thank you.

What about you,

Annie?

Thank you.

Great question QQ.

Do you want to answer this question about personal goals?

You don't have to,

But I do talk about it directly.

So I just didn't want to leave you out.

But you don't have to.

I mean,

As far as personal goals go,

Mine have really been more on like a on the spiritual level where it's not like me grasping or reaching for what I need to be or like what tangible thing I can do.

Personal goals for me,

I'm not I really just like the word gentleness embodies.

I really am hoping to do the next right thing if I can.

But also I'm not going to put so much pressure and harshness on myself.

Big surprise everybody.

I'd love that.

Okay.

Because it feels you know,

Everybody else is like stating their goals and all their things.

And so I start to get nervous and think,

Oh,

I'm doing something wrong.

But because of the way that I've been before where it's been like,

Achieve and do and be and you're not enough now it's like,

No,

I'm going to be so gentle.

And I'm the craziest thing that I'm doing this year that freaks me out the most and is like the biggest personal goal that I have is trusting in myself and like a higher power that I'm doing enough and that I'm going to be shown the next right direction and path and way to go.

And just like with our fun little community meeting that we're trying to do at the end of the month,

I'm,

I'm trusting that I'm doing enough in bringing in community and doing the little things that I think I can do.

And that it's going to be enough and that I'm going to be taken care of and that I'm growing with people and that I'm trying but other than that,

I'm that that's what it looks like for me.

Thank you,

Pony.

I love that.

Okay.

It seems actually like a really specific personal goal not to just co opt what you said and force it into my structure.

Please do.

But it's like validate me what what a miracle to set this intention for yourself that you're not going to force yourself to do be achieved produce and instead,

Just love yourself.

That is an amazing goal.

I love it.

It's a whole new world for me.

This is actually incredibly radical.

Yeah.

This is a big deal.

The inaction is action.

After all,

Thank you,

Pony.

Thanks so much for bringing up this topic.

Annie.

What?

Tell me all about yours.

Oh,

Thank you.

Yeah.

So my word for 2021 is hope.

And pony already knows that.

So that's no secret to her.

But this is not the word that I wanted.

I wanted a strong action word.

Even if that word was surrender,

Like I kind of thought it was going to be surrender or accept.

And I mean,

That doesn't sound like a strong action word.

But in my mind,

I'm like,

I need to surrender to who I need to accept.

Like I just imagined myself powerfully taking action on changing basically.

So it was like,

I'm going to change.

Here's how I've decided these two words would probably embody that.

And then instead,

I got hope.

And so the word came to me early in the morning in the bathroom.

And it popped into my brain like a word written across the front of my mind.

And I receive information like this sometimes in dreams or just stuff will come to me.

And I don't know if it's because I read a lot or write a lot,

But I will see that kind of sentences or a word written across my mind.

And so it's just like in big bold black font and it said hope I was like,

Oh,

And I was like,

That's not my word,

But it is.

And it's already popped up in these weird ways.

As I started to think about it,

It was like,

Hope that I can change.

And I don't mean that in the way that I had meant before of like,

I've identified who I want Annie to be in 2021.

And I'm going to hope my way into it.

But this hope that I can trust my higher power more hope that I'll be okay kind of regardless of where things are and who I am and how the world looks.

Hope is going to be the foundation for this year as I try new things,

Accept existing things and also accept myself.

And so hope is actually an action word,

But it doesn't have kind of the grasping that I had in my acceptance idea or surrender idea.

It's more this like fullness.

I don't quite know how to describe it,

But it's like,

I guess that's what hope is,

Right?

Like this sense of wellness and fullness and belief.

And a little story to explain this.

I'm in a group with other people who are also learning new tools to unlearn codependent stuff.

And I get a chance to witness another woman who externally talks to herself like I talked to myself internally.

So she'll say something like,

I need to be more structured.

I'm always failing at getting my structure in my life.

One day I'll get it together.

And I hear her say these things and I see with love and compassion.

Like,

I think there is nothing wrong with you.

You know,

Like the only thing wrong here is how angry you are at yourself.

At least that's my perception.

What I see is like a just fine functional adult,

But also like this anger that she has to herself.

And I just recognize it,

You know,

And it's kind of the first time like Pony talks a lot about mirrors that we get.

Like,

I'm seeing this mirror of another person really in the,

She's an artistic person and I see her frustration at how her brain works or how she wants it to work.

And I just get to see how painful it is.

And I'm like,

Oh,

That's what's happening inside of me a lot.

And so,

Yeah,

I just get to see this trap of like thinking that it's a self-improvement,

But really it's just very sticky and hopeless.

So witnessing this most recently and thinking of the pain that it,

That this person was experiencing it and identifying with it.

And I thought of my word hope and I'm like,

Oh,

This is what my word is going to embody.

Like hope that I don't,

That I can,

There's opportunity for shift from that.

But like I can be in a place where using punishment to change isn't actually the goal or maybe even change isn't the goal,

But just acceptance.

So I have hope I can do something different,

Not like I can be more organized or accomplish more,

But I can accept myself unconditionally.

I can love myself unconditionally and I can be patient with myself exactly as I am.

So that's what my word is about.

Oh,

I love it so much.

I'm right there with you,

Just fully vibing.

Just heart pumping and hoping.

Yes.

And with so much gentleness instead of like this,

You know,

Drill sergeant that's going to just punish me into being better and different.

And yeah,

And it's like the self-determined objective of better and different.

Exactly.

And then also one of the things that I think we've been talking a lot about is like also what society and our culture has put on us as what or who or how we should be.

I think that's a really important piece of feeling at odds with oneself of like,

Wait,

This doesn't fit for me.

And to understand the impact that our culture has.

I'm really dealing with that in therapy.

So anyway,

I'll just skim the top for now.

So just to I was thinking too about personal goals,

Because I do love the beginning of the year and the idea of this shift in the days becoming longer and things starting to thaw and just new beginnings.

So I have a personal goal of investing in my relationship with my higher power and myself like that is the baseline for all of this.

And a really specific thing that I just want to share with you guys is I have been writing a book and I invested in professional help for it.

I got hired a developmental editor to give me feedback and help me make it stronger.

And I've gotten those edits back and I'm working on it.

And my goal is to find a publisher to publish it.

So more will be revealed.

It's a fiction book.

I think it's fun.

I hope it is.

But it feels very much part of all of this journey because without the acceptance of self without the kindness,

Without the trust,

Without the hope that piece can't be there.

Because I was so reliant on being sure that other people were okay with everything that I was doing that I didn't have enough confidence in myself to do something like this.

Go Annie go go Annie go.

And I have one other personal goal I want to share.

I'm talking a lot,

But this one feels really important.

So today's January 7th and yesterday was the day an armed mob of Trump supporters broke into the Capitol.

And Pony and I were talking before we started recording about how painful it was to witness the difference in how white people were treated versus how black people are treated by our government,

By the police and all these things.

A personal goal for me,

Which is also a spiritual goal because it is so painful,

It's really tempting for me because of the emotional labor to just kind of skim along.

Part of my personal goal is to continue to learn more about how to be anti-racist and how to invest in racial justice.

And so if anyone else is interested,

I found this really great free newsletter called Anti-Racism Daily.

It's by Nicole Cardoza.

It's really well done.

It just gives information and action tips and it's really,

Really useful.

On that note,

We know there's a huge wealth disparity for marginalized groups and we want to invite any interested black listeners to enjoy our added content on Patreon with a scholarship free of charge if that would be useful,

Helpful,

Enjoyable.

So just reach out to us via social media,

Direct messages or our email.

Thanks,

Annie.

Thanks for bringing that up.

It's really,

Really important.

Yeah.

Thank you for that tool.

So speaking of tools.

.

.

Ooh,

It is time.

Lindsay,

Do you have any tips for people who want to choose a word for 2021 or have been thinking about it and seeing everyone on social media posting their very important word and feeling?

Oh,

Wow.

I'm so glad I'm not on there.

Well,

The tips that I might have for others to choose their word,

I think it's really important cultivating that intimacy with self and getting to know what was missing,

Like what's missing from my life.

What does this part of myself really need right now is kind of the question that helped me get closer into a word that could really support me this year.

That's how I chose my word and I really liked how you talked about like,

Is it the word I want?

Is it,

You know,

Like I think that.

.

.

I'm going to pick another one from the hat.

Yeah.

I think it's so important and oftentimes for me to figure out if I'm on the right path or if I'm curious,

When it hurts,

That's a lot.

Oftentimes when I'm on the right path,

I think sometimes,

You know,

The discomfort comes in and of course I want to run and not deal with that or do that.

And often it's the pain being the touchstone of growth is the way that shows me like,

Oh,

Right this way.

There's more here for me over here.

So if I can take,

You know,

Be brave and courageous to do this healing work,

You know,

The healing of a wound doesn't necessarily feel great,

But we all want the healing.

The other tools that I wanted to talk about in this section is posing the question,

Can we let a new moment hold as much possibility as a new year?

So remembering like with this moment,

I have this word and that I can be gentle and I can let every new moment is a new opportunity for me to try again.

And I've really been feeling into that as a choice and the opportunity and with the like mindful mindset of what my intention for myself is and for my being and looking into like really just the radical idea of loving myself right now as I am is really what I need.

And it's not,

It has not been my way of living before.

Again,

I just want to give gratitude to 2020 when I wrote my last year,

The compass.

Tony has this amazing worksheet that she uses year after year about how to look back,

Look forward.

It's super cool.

It's a free printout there at Year Compass,

Www.

Yearcompass.

Com.

It's a free PDF.

There's so many great writing prompts.

The last thing that I'm hopeful to a new practice that I'm hopeful to implement,

Which has been in my life for years and years is like an opportunity to do,

Which is journaling before bed.

Even if it's like the one sentence a day,

A lot of people have been posting online about there's like a five year book with a one sentence a day,

Which I ended up getting just a really large journals with blank sheets of paper.

And the prompts that I wanted to put in there are really,

They're questions I don't want to ask myself.

I don't,

But I want to cultivate this intimacy with myself.

So I'm really hopeful to,

I just watched my iPad go to sleep.

That's a little secret about me.

And for a couple of years,

I've tried to say,

I'm not going to do that anymore.

So full disclosure that,

You know,

These things take time and the thawing and the de-layering,

It just takes time.

And so I am hopeful whether it's this year or sometime to write in my journal and the prompts that I wrote for myself before bed for cultivating intimacy with myself is listing the negative thoughts,

The doubts and the fears that I had throughout the day.

That's like the ultimate goal for me,

Whether it's this year and the next three years,

I feel like I'm moving closer,

You know,

I'm getting the book and maybe the willingness will come later.

So more on that as we go along.

Thank you,

Pony.

Of course.

You have some tools for us,

Annie.

So my tool,

If you are wanting to think about your word for 2021 or even just thinking about intentions is if you don't want to use mine and wait for inspiration to strike in the morning in the bathroom,

Do what Pony also suggested,

Which is try journaling.

So if you want just a structured suggestion,

Set aside time.

I love mornings because I'm not as influenced and cluttered with the stimulus and the ideas and the interactions of the day.

Like I'm kind of a fresh slate still.

Set aside a quiet moment in the morning.

Find a quiet corner inside or outside and ask for divine guidance,

If that's something that you enjoy.

And then set a timer for a few minutes of silent meditation.

So maybe it's one minute,

Maybe it's 20 minutes,

Whatever feels right for you.

Maybe it's three and a half.

And then just during that time,

Clear your mind and just,

Just envision yourself open and interested and receptive.

And then when the timer is up,

Start journaling,

Whatever comes to mind,

Kind of a stream of consciousness.

And what I'm planning to do is do this same practice,

But kind of in reverse,

Because this word has already come to me.

So I'm just going to invite in guidance about what does this mean?

Hope,

Like,

How can I apply it?

How can I be intentional as we've been talking about with not just giving lip service to this word,

But like,

What would it mean to integrate that?

And just respecting that this is a practice.

And what I really took away from our 2020 end of the year integration episode is that the basis for all that I'm doing and all the ways I'm changing is just practice.

Like I just have to practice whatever it is.

And so what would it look like to practice with hope?

So that's what I'm going to journal about.

And then I have an encouragement that as you think about your intentions or your word to do it with employee ponies word and do it with gentleness.

If your intentions are punitive,

Meaning they're to like,

Achieve the self determined objectives of how you can be better,

A better worker,

Build your business,

All this stuff.

I so believe that those come from our places of well meaning,

But often they can veer into secret ways to harm ourselves.

And so I just encourage you to be really gentle and as you do this exercise,

Think with love and kindness.

And then if you're interested in setting personal goals for the year,

And maybe your personal goal is to not set goals,

Which is so great.

We celebrate that.

Yeah.

Love that.

But for me,

I really am thinking about this book.

And then thinking about my story that I shared about my friend who also struggles with structure and her frustration at herself for her,

What she perceives as a deficit of structure.

I'm like,

I have a goal I want to achieve.

I know I'll come up against fear obstacles,

Emotional obstacles,

And also just work obstacles like the actual act of adding in new chapters,

Changing things around,

It will be a push for me.

For me,

I want to set specific milestones that I will work towards,

Because otherwise,

With the gentleness,

Right?

Like how can I create a structure for myself to work within with gentleness?

So I think that I'll do that journaling practice we talked about of asking for divine guidance and then sitting with my higher power and a calendar and just being like,

How can I approach this project with compassion and love and discipline?

So that's what I'm going to be working on.

Perhaps it might help you too.

And if you have great ways that you set milestones that are both loving and carry you through without the feeling of fear or shame or being bad being the driver,

Let us know.

We need all the help we can get.

We need it.

Message us,

Email us,

Friend us,

And Pony,

Why don't you tell people about our new venture.

It's going to be Sunday,

January 31st,

9am Pacific time.

Tell the people.

In an effort to build community and to have a safe container and to just hear more voices we are going to have as meeting,

We'll have a little meditation and then we'll have talk over a topic and then there'll be time for people to share and there'll be a sharing structure and we'll talk about that.

And it's a place for healing and growth and to be heard,

Hear more voices and to learn from each other.

So we're hopeful that you'll join us and that that sounds like something fun.

If nothing else,

It's a space to meditate together so you can check that off.

If you want to participate,

You'll need to email us.

Just trying stuff,

Having fun,

Getting connected,

Connecting,

Bonding,

Growing together.

It's our hope.

It's our hope.

Yeah.

Thanks everybody.

Thanks so much.

We love you.

Love yourselves.

Bye.

Oh.

To feelings and to you nineteenthuer until you know me

Reviews

This was very nice and adorable. Thank you so much 😊

Sooo good!! Thank you!! 🥰

Love you both !!! I love your talks it’s like a breathe of hopefull air 😉What’s the email to join live ??? I dont know if I missed it lol

Terrific, as always! 🥰💫🙏

Welcome back! Happy New Year to two of my favorite gal pals. So good to spend time with you this morning! Here’s to making 2021 all that we can with our “word” for the year and resilience has chosen me!! Have a beautiful day my friends. 💜