Looking At Phones

We know what it feels like to get sucked in when we’re looking at phones. Where does this screen addiction come and how is it impacting our lives? We think a healthier, happier relationship with phones is possible. In episode 26, we’ll look at what it takes to get off a phone and into the middle of your life. What spiritual tools can help with phone or tech addiction? And how can we come into contact with whatever's underneath the craving so we can address our true needs? Listen now to find out!

Transcript

Thanks for joining us here on Pretty Spiritual where we're attempting the unthinkable about how to navigate this messy,

Beautiful,

Imperfect life with spiritual tools,

What principles in our own personal stories.

So we're not experts,

We're not religious,

We're definitely silly.

We're honest,

Real and willing to share.

So join us as we connect,

Bond and grow together.

Hi,

Best friends.

I'm so excited that we're all here today together to my left.

Hi,

I'm Ella.

Amazing.

And to my right.

Hey,

I'm Annie.

We are in our spiritual tripod formation and we are so ready for today.

Oh,

Yeah.

Yay.

We are going to talk about feeling addicted to our phones or technology in general.

Oh,

Murky.

Yeesh.

So much to work with here,

That's for sure.

And if you hear that banging,

It is not our head against the wall.

It is truly- It might be,

I don't know.

It's truly the construction next door that may be going on for months.

Oh,

Boy.

So please enjoy this free podcast.

We're spicy today because you know what,

Just even bringing up how much I look at my phone is an issue.

Like I do not want to even begin.

That's why we're calling this looking.

What are we calling it?

Looking at phones.

Looking at phones.

So not only are we going to be staring into these black mirrors right now,

But we're going to notice how much we are looking at phones and then how we look at phones and what our relationship is with phones and technology in general.

I think most of us can probably immediately relate to this sense or feeling and mostly about being addicted to our phones.

Mostly we are interested in bringing this up because we want some spiritual accountability around our own phone use and we want to see what kind of shifts are possible when we apply spiritual tools to this issue.

Phones are designed to be addictive.

Nearly every app on your phone has been expertly engineered to produce those very responses by designers skilled in manipulating brain chemistry to elicit addictive behaviors.

We love addictive behavior.

Oh,

Giddyup.

I'm addicted to all kinds of things that aren't even addicting,

So this really- Makes sense.

Check in the boxes.

Phones use something that psychologists call intermittent rewards,

The sense that something exciting could happen at any moment.

This is how slot machines are designed.

Smartphones are essentially slot machines we keep in our pockets.

New research has found that our memory capacity,

Ability to process data in general intelligence improves significantly when our phones are completely out of sight.

The mere sight of a phone diminishes our cognitive functions.

Just think about that.

They're saying that they shouldn't even be sitting on the table,

That we need to put them away.

Oh,

Because we get like sticky eyes.

Yes.

What's going on in there?

This was the part that really I was like,

Okay,

I've been really practicing around this.

A visible phone in social situations decreases depth of interaction,

Creating more superficial social situations.

Like we could get any more superficial in our social situations.

Not me,

But whenever I see somebody's phone,

I'm just like,

What are you doing right?

Am I boring you?

If limiting our interactions with our phones can help us to be smarter,

More empathetic and have better relationships,

Then why is this such a dilemma?

Could a healthier,

Happier relationship with our phones be possible with some simple tools and shared experience?

We sure hope so.

So let's get into this looking at our phones internally and externally.

What does it feel like to be addicted to your phone?

What does this look like in your life and why does it feel like a problem or maybe not a problem?

Who knows?

Annie,

Would you talk to us about your beloved phone?

Yes,

That I'm holding in my hand right this very second.

It's so great.

I have my notes on here and I have so much information.

It's such a great tool.

I notice phone abuse.

I don't know if I'm addicted to my phone.

I'm very reliant on it.

But I noticed that I have a weird relationship with it most when I'm tired.

And what I need is rest and restoration.

And instead,

I'll pick up my phone and scroll through random stuff on Instagram or read celebrity gossip,

Which I typically avoid because it doesn't restore me.

It just makes me think about people.

I have no business spending time thinking about.

I have limited capacity inside of me.

What am I doing?

Obsessing about other people's lives.

How do I notice it?

I notice that like you were saying,

Lindsay,

It impacts my attention span.

Sometimes I'll be watching TV and playing with my phone at the same time.

That's my favorite.

Double dipping.

What is even happening inside my divided presence right now?

It's a waste of time and it brings me out of my body and out of my brain.

Like I'm laying there,

I'm watching TV show,

I'm scrolling through visual imagery,

And it's just I'm nowhere in sight.

Overall I actually really am grateful to have a phone.

I travel a lot and it keeps me connected to people.

And I love being able to text with people throughout the day.

Like the three of us have a ongoing text thread where we just check in and we share challenges in the day or as an accountability thread.

So it's actually very helpful for me.

But that in turn negatively has impacted my wife sometimes because she's like,

You're always texting.

And I'm like,

But it helps me.

So I have to be thoughtful of like Lindsay,

You were saying when you're in a social situation and someone has their phone out,

You feel like,

Why aren't they here with me?

And I think that it impacts her in that way.

So preparing for this episode,

I've been thinking about that.

I try to be mindful of how me using my phone impacts her but sometimes I'm like,

It's fine.

Of course it's fine.

It has to be fine.

This is good for me.

So it's good for the world.

And I can also notice how my phone can transport me into a false world.

So for example,

I put a lot of our posts on Instagram for a pretty spiritual podcast,

Which I really love because we're building a community and we get to connect with people.

But I'll see how an hour later my brain is still in Instagram thinking about a conversation I had with someone or a post I made and like,

Did people like it?

And just how disconnected that makes me from where I am.

I'm like,

In an alternate universe,

Essentially,

I've just been holding awareness of how I can take an action and let it be without revisiting the mental space over and over.

So like,

If I go into my phone to do something,

Especially in social media,

Can I make that a discreet confined event and then move on with the next part of my day instead of Oh,

Did everybody like it?

How many likes did it get?

Oh,

I'm so excited.

I'm so popular.

People like our podcast,

They really do.

It's what it looks like when I'm having a strange relationship with my phone right now.

Thanks so much,

Annie.

Ella,

Can you relate?

I sure can relate to that.

For me what it feels like when I'm inside that bubble of feeling addicted to my phone and I probably would use the word addicted for myself.

It's not just a matter of dependence anymore.

It's another thing.

So how that feels for me is like I'm skimming along the surface of life,

But I'm never actually like touching in,

You know,

My like pleasure seeking brain likes about that is that it kind of insulates me from the discomfort of being in the present moment.

The whole self notices about that is life isn't satisfying when I'm just skimming the surface.

When I'm doing that,

I don't feel connected to myself or to other people.

I'm kind of in a constant state of needing to get more of whatever it is.

I don't feel okay about myself or about relationships with other people.

I have some embarrassing news to share with our listeners and also with Annie and Lindsay,

Which is that another real time yet ready of it going for it.

We're all here.

It's totally fine.

Right when we were sitting down to record,

I opened up our website to show Annie and Lindsay some stuff and I was telling them that I've been having this really like addictive experience with website building where I like start doing it and I can't stop.

I get sucked in and then I end up really hurting myself physically.

I opened it up and there are these two pages that I've been like trying to hide from everyone because they're unformatted and I can't make them look normal.

And I clicked on our episodes link and it went to one of those pages and I was like,

Oh,

No.

And we had just started recording the episodes.

The cat's out of the bag.

Here but not here.

I could tell.

I know.

I knew it.

Something is going on.

Ella.

Anyway,

So that's real.

I'm like,

I want to be here and I get sucked in by whatever feels and for me that getting sucked in has this real tone of urgency and I believe it in the moment.

You know,

It really does feel urgent in the moment.

I've been trying to be curious about this in myself.

What Annie pointed out is that I deleted eBay.

Again,

I've been having this ongoing saga with the eBay app on my phone for probably like four or five years now,

Like a little longer than feels good to admit.

But it's true that I need substitutes for what I do in those moments when I'm seeking self soothing and I am under resourced.

That's what it feels like to be in the like addictive spiral is that I get sucked in by this urgency feeling and then I just lose complete track of what's happening right in front of me because I'm totally involved in this alternate reality.

I want to look at what we can do when we feel fully spiritually available to bring all our resources to the task and at what we can do when we're like totally under resourced and we just need soothing.

Hang in there till we get to the tools section.

Thanks,

Ella.

I could really relate with the whack-a-mole effect of if I don't have the sufficient substitute and even if it is the sufficient substitute,

I start using it just like I was the other thing.

So when I deleted Instagram like six months ago off my phone,

I found myself on the Nextdoor app quite a bit.

What are the neighbors doing?

Oh,

That's so awesome.

It was such an absurd thing to recognize.

I love it.

And laugh at my like at and with myself about- I do have to say people are very entertaining on there.

But if what I'm trying to do is stay off of my device- Right,

Of course.

That is the last place to go.

Maybe I mean,

Right?

Is this harm reduction?

What are we doing?

I wanted to talk about my benevolent overlord,

My pocket God,

The almighty.

All hail,

Lord.

Hail my phone.

I would say for me,

Because I watch other humans around me,

I noticed that I'm not as addicted,

But the feelings of addiction are there.

And stopping,

Picking up my phone to check out because I'm standing in line or because I'm waiting because I have this idea that at no point am I to not be entertained.

Like I've just at every moment,

I've just- it's a really interesting time to be alive.

We have this pocket God in our phone and all the answers and everything are at my fingertips and I'm spending hours watching dogs do silly things and like humans fall down.

It's kind of a waste,

Right?

How many novels,

How much like literature and history could I have possibly read for the time that I've been looking at puppy pictures?

So for me right now,

Instagram has been the biggest time suck.

I really also consume so much media on my smart TV.

Can we even talk about the amazing shows that are out there right now?

It's so flipping good.

Can I tell you how pacified I am?

You know,

Like it is,

There's so much great stuff to watch.

There really is.

So it was really a toss up between which I could talk about here.

And I got so inspired doing this that I just deleted Instagram off my phone.

It felt like something that I could do in the moment and I really am resonating with how much I go to my phone and how much I am using it to check out when the idea is that I'm going to like connect and check in with people and I'm just actively checking out.

You don't just have to delete the things on your phone.

Like that's an extreme,

Right?

I'm really trying to find a way to moderate,

A way to- I'm just- I'm not sure what I'm looking for.

I want to be entertained.

I want a moment to rest.

I want some quote unquote downtime.

I believe the illusion that I'm connecting with others when all of a sudden I find myself buying a collapsible cup.

I mean seriously,

Where do I go?

Urgency.

I mean,

It's good for the planet,

Right?

Six months ago when I deleted my Instagram app,

I noticed I spent a lot more time on my gratitude list or even if it was just more time,

Maybe I would do some stretches or I don't know what ever it was I was doing,

But I was busy during that time.

Phone addiction to me feels like looking at this screen is going to solve all my problems for right now or to cut me a break.

It's fascinating to think I'm constantly seeking outward to fulfill what must be filled inwardly.

I cannot check out and think that magically I'm going to check in.

What I'm seeking outwardly is an inside job and that's why my phone affair is really falling apart right now.

I'm seeing how what my wants and needs and desires are can't be fulfilled by my actions and my behaviors that are going on with my phone.

That's why at the tools part,

We'll talk about how I'm going to build a better relationship with my phone.

What a concept.

Inspiring.

I love that phrase,

Your phone affair.

I know it really is.

It's really seductive.

Are we enmeshed?

Are we codependent?

Is this a healthy relationship?

It's not.

That's why we're here.

In case you were wondering.

All types,

All different ways.

So many ways this can go.

So our tools discussion is going to be about what spiritual tools are we using right now or planning to experiment with around these issues.

Beloved Annie.

Hi.

I just have a shout out for compassion for the phone addiction.

I don't know if this is true for everyone,

But for me,

I think that there's a sense of having control.

A phone somehow gives a sense of control.

When we really don't have control over anything.

So like touching in,

Checking in,

I'm like,

I feel like I know what's going on.

So I just was thinking about that.

It kind of quells anxiety,

But it doesn't really solve it.

It's just like a placebo.

My tool is before I get up in the morning,

I have an agreement with myself and my higher power that I will pray and meditate before I engage with my phone,

Particularly my email.

So it's less about social media for me.

And it's more about email coming in.

And I get kind of addicted to my email.

Did I get any news from editors?

Is anything going on?

And it's like that sense of being able to manage and control things.

And if I open that up before I pray and meditate in the morning,

I'm gone.

I'm like,

I'm really important.

I'm the only one who can fix stuff.

Like Ella was saying,

There's this intense sense of urgency.

I don't have time to meditate now because I have to answer this email.

People need me.

I'm a really big deal.

So that's my tool is before I start my day,

Can I surrender some part of myself that thinks it's in control?

And so that that's part of it.

And then the other part is,

When I'm during the day,

Like I referenced this before,

But if I'm checking out with my phone,

It usually means that I'm under resourced or really tired.

So can I notice when I'm using my phone if I'm bored or exhausted?

And just be like,

Oh,

I think that I'm bored.

And like Lindsay was saying,

I deserve entertainment at all times.

What are some alternatives I can do?

And I've been practicing this for a little while now.

Like could I read a book instead?

Could I work on a story?

Could I just be calm?

So there's something really powerful in boredom,

I think.

And it's very underrated.

And I read about it a lot when I read about tools for writers of like the power of boredom to cultivate new ideas and like new creative opportunities.

This stuff just kind of bubbles up in your subconscious when you create the room for it.

Kind of like when we meditate,

Right?

But if I'm constantly filling my brain with this like chatter,

Then there's no room for these other things to kind of blossom.

So noticing when I'm bored.

And like Lindsay was talking about in the grocery store line,

I've been doing this where I'm like,

Notice this urge to pull out my phone because I'm in the grocery store line.

I'm like,

What can I see that's happening right here?

And also,

This is just me but I don't read the gossip cover magazines because they make my brain go bananas.

I just totally get so intrigued by,

I don't know.

Anyways,

I leave those alone.

But I look at the people in front of me.

I'm like,

What are they wearing?

What does their hair look like?

What kind of groceries is this person buying?

Does this person look sad?

Just like trying to pay attention to what's going on around me.

If I'm truly tired,

What would I need to do to be rested?

And I like across the board when I play with my phone,

If I'm tired,

I don't feel rested afterwards.

I'm like,

Dang,

There goes that 30 minutes where I was gonna get a nap in and now my brain's just full of a bunch of banana stuff like people's lives that I don't have any business paying attention to.

Somebody I hadn't talked to in 20 years and suddenly I'm all up in their business.

If I'm revisiting a social media thing over and over,

Can I notice how this is giving me like a feel good hit?

You know,

I'm like,

Oh,

I'm so excited.

48 people liked our Pretty Spiritual Podcast post.

Oh,

Yay,

You know,

Which is really sweet.

And can they let that be in the moment and then move on from it instead of going back to it and trying to like rest more out of it essentially.

It's kind of made me feel good.

I relate so much.

Yeah,

So then like some things I can do if I'm doing that are like really simple stuff that we've talked about in other podcast episodes of like,

What colors are around me?

Like,

Can I really look at my bedspread?

How does my skin feel right now?

What does the air feel like?

Really basic kind of coming back into the moment.

That's my mini package of tools.

That's all.

Thanks so much.

I'm really glad that you brought up about being bored.

That's one part of the tools that I wanted to bring up and it will be on our resource page.

It's called tools.

Why do I am obsessed with calling it resource?

You can call it whatever you want.

Clearly it's our tools tab.

Our resources on our tools page.

Oh,

We have so much on our website.

You really must go.

Yeah,

You really must go to prettyspiritualpodcast.

Com.

We are all benefiting from Ella's addiction to the website.

Yeah,

So we really don't help me.

We can't help her because we are truly benefited.

So someone help Ella.

No one's taken the bait off.

What I want to talk about is the Bored and Brilliant and this is a really amazing part of a series on a tool technology page by Manoush Thammarodi and she's just an amazing woman.

I love all of her stuff she does over tech.

So she is a great woman to listen to.

So they started this Bored and Brilliant,

Which was a whole like six week series of ways for you to become essentially bored and brilliant because that's the whole if we don't allow this time for the creativity to come in,

Then you know what we're left with,

Right?

So I got to listen to it's so great.

So we'll definitely have that up.

The link is already on there.

Yeah.

Go ponies.

So the idea is we are more creative when we allow ourselves to detach from our phones,

Find space and time to let your mind wander to allow yourself to become bored and brilliant.

Here's some of the options that they give you to keep your phone in your pocket or your bag.

So when you're on the train on a bus waiting in line anytime you would normally reach for the phone to pass time or keep yourself occupied,

Then try that challenge for a week where you just notice that you have the urge and that you've made this promise to yourself that you're you're just trying something different and maybe it doesn't happen.

So that was one of them.

I just made it.

I'm just going to talk about the couple that I thought was really good ideas.

The photo free day,

We take 10 billion photos per month.

And so they're just saying,

Give your lens that's not excessive,

Give your lens arrest and experience life through your own lens.

Another suggestion was to delete that app.

Did you know the one the one that you aimlessly scroll and use more than you want to admit deleted even if it's just for today,

Just like Annie was talking about one small observation.

So for this week,

Every day you make a note of one small thing you saw because you weren't staring at your phone.

So a person an object,

Something interesting and an inventable detail you would have missed.

So I really love the board and brilliant you can go and check that out and I'm going to try and do their weekly thing and they have recording so you can listen to what they have to say about that.

And some of the things that I put in for myself was when I first started writing about this,

I thought,

Oh,

I have such a great idea.

I am going to make a deal with myself that I won't look at Instagram until I do my stretching.

I was kind of wrestling thinking about all this stuff.

And then that's when I just deleted the app.

And I think it's really great that I think that's even a good way to if you're not like ready to delete whatever app it is or whatever,

Then to kind of set up a reward system,

I think is a good way to use it.

For me,

I just got really inspired and really willing and hopefully I'll still do some stretches.

Wouldn't that be nice?

I mean,

Come on,

Lindsay,

Go,

Go.

I'm so close.

Taking the step back and evaluating my relationship to my phone and the social media or the media consumption that I'm doing like I'm not really willing to give up my TV time.

I'm just not.

I'm not getting in the way of anything.

It brings me so much joy.

Right.

So that's me evaluating my relation to that.

What kind of relationship am I having with this?

If I'm in autopilot,

And my navigation system that I've noticed for myself is to dodge feelings,

Responsibility and reality.

That's what's led me to feel addicted to all sorts of things.

So if I continue on that path without gauging or examining my behaviors and the ways I'm attempting to check out,

Then I give away my agency,

Which is great to have compassion for all of this.

But I have to come back to like,

I am the one that has agency in this situation.

I'm the one that really honestly needs to set up boundaries and conditions for how I interact with my phone.

That part for me is really important because I'll often I'll give myself to I'll be too compassionate,

You know,

And then I kind of rest on whatever it is,

Reminding myself that I'm the one I'm the agent in how things operate and how things get done with my behaviors and how I use these technologies and these tools is really important.

And I can set up really great strategies for myself.

When I learn about which is the app that's taking the most time or what am I doing,

Like really getting to know the relationship and where I could moderate or get it to where it can be more useful to me that this could be more of a tool instead of something for me to just check out with two more things that I think are really awesome.

And what I've done is I keep my phone on Do Not Disturb period.

I cannot have things going off.

And really,

This was something that happened because I have so many spam callers that I was forced to do this.

I can't tell you how many calls I get a day.

So I had to turn it on Do Not Disturb.

And it has been the greatest thing that's ever happened for me because nothing has been an emergency that I couldn't go back to.

It's really helped me so much to give me this space to see how much I want to interact with my phone and touch my phone and all of that.

And with the notifications,

You turn them off,

Because that's another way you don't have to have every app on your phone letting you know whatever someone checked in at Foursquare,

Like whatever it is.

But that sounds important though.

Is that an emergency?

Is that a Trader Joe's?

Wow.

This one is really cool.

Turn your phone on grayscale.

When things are not so flashy and bright and like the colors that they use and the graphics that they use on the phone,

It just makes me like,

Oh,

You're shiny and glorious.

I must come back to you right now.

Oh,

God.

But you turn that on grayscale and it's like,

All right,

What was I doing on here?

Okay,

Good.

It's so great.

There's something I don't know how to do on computers,

Which is like,

There's this extremely subtle sparkle effect that you can add to buttons.

So like the reason that your brain is thinking that is because the website is designed to touch buttons.

Where do you switch it to grayscale?

I'm going to do it right now.

Google it.

Miss Google knows everything.

Highly recommend.

So go to settings.

This is on an iPhone.

And if your iPhone's really old,

Maybe not,

But go ahead.

Search color.

Zing.

I have a really old iPhone.

No,

I'm just,

I'm letting people know.

And then grayscale will come up and you open that and choose display accommodations.

Go to color filters and click it off and your world will go gray.

You're free.

There are shades of gray.

Holy crap,

It's so boring.

I'm like,

Ah whatevs.

Put it down.

Ella.

Yay.

I love that you guys were talking about boredom and it reminded me of this.

I don't even know if it was a Zen thing,

But it was a thing I was hearing around spiritual circles for a while that if you want to have an exciting life,

That you just have to be really,

Really interested in lukewarm tap water.

Because like that's most of what life is,

Is lukewarm tap water.

I actually prefer that.

Headstart Annie,

Way to go.

That's not what they're saying.

Annie's like,

I'm winning.

I'm so great.

I can't have ice in my water.

And it's like,

Go deeper.

No,

No,

I'm good.

Skimming the surface,

Babe.

So lukewarm tap water,

You guys.

I really loved that.

Thank you.

We're putting in the pitch.

And actually when I was thinking about that,

Remembering about that,

I was reminded of my second practice period at Tassajara.

I was working in the kitchen and I was so flipping bored.

I have never been that bored.

Like there's nothing happening.

So I got really,

Really interested in whatever was happening right in front of me,

Which oftentimes I just watched water as it boiled.

I was like,

Watch the phases of when the lukewarm tap water got hot enough to boil.

So I'm like,

Literally just lukewarm tap water.

I went back to Tassajara recently.

It was a really great experience.

And after leaving,

I was listening to a Dharma talk by one of my favorite teachers,

Leslie James,

Who's the abiding teacher at Tassajara or has been for a very long time.

And she was recalling this treat.

It's called the Fukon Zazenge and it's instructions for how to practice Zazen meditation written by Eihei Dogan,

Who's the Japanese founder of the Zen school that I practice in.

It's really annoying.

Get ready.

He says,

Learn the backward step that turns your light inwardly to illuminate yourself,

Which is what we've been talking about,

Which is like,

What are my actual needs here?

The cell phone isn't the problem.

It's what's happening for me.

The backward step is Zen language for that kind of U-turn.

And then he says,

This is the annoying part.

If you want to attain suchness,

You should practice suchness without delay,

Which essentially is like,

If you want to stop doing something,

Just stop doing it.

Sounds so easy,

Right?

Thank you.

Thanks,

Dog.

It's so simple.

And so I got annoyed when I was reminded of that,

Because sometimes we can do that,

You know,

And other times,

Our behaviors or habits are so compulsive that it's it,

We don't even have the option of doing that.

But what I love so much about this is that it's this really simple awareness action thing.

If we don't have awareness that we're doing something,

We're trapped,

You know,

And if you're just developing the awareness that you're on the phone all the time,

And you're like hating yourself for it,

That is the first step,

You know,

Is like,

You just see what you're doing,

And you really don't like it,

And you have opinions and you feel bad about it,

But you can't stop doing it.

If that's where you're at,

You're doing so great.

That's the hardest part,

It's gonna get easier soon.

So then it's like,

Once we notice we're doing something,

Then we get to take the action around it.

And for me,

What happens when I'm on my phone is that I get hijacked by whatever activity I'm pursuing on my phone.

And I forget that there's this backward step that I could take.

Sometimes what helps me is that I reach out to other people,

Like I would text Lindsay and be like,

I'm on eBay,

And she'd be like,

It's not about eBay.

And then and I would be like,

Angry at her.

And then it would wake me up out of that kind of trance.

What helps me when I'm like,

Feeling really like spiritually fortified,

I'm like,

I'm gonna practice suchness without delay and just put the phone down.

And then there are other times when,

You know,

Like we've been talking about,

I'm under resourced,

And I'm tired and my body hurts or the headache or something's happening where I can't,

I'm not at my best.

I'm not,

I don't have all the resources I need to have to just put my phone down.

And so then what I like to do is acknowledge where I am,

Which is like,

I'm caught and I want to check out and acknowledge what my brain is saying about that,

Which is like,

I'm bad,

I don't like this.

And then just give myself full permission to do whatever I need to do to take care of myself.

And actually,

Last night,

When I had a migraine,

I still do this thing sometimes when I feel so wiped out,

Which is,

I give myself full permission to cancel everything in my day tomorrow if I need to do that,

And I would if I needed to.

And so I give myself this full permission,

I can do whatever I need to take care of myself.

And yes,

Sometimes that means I spend an hour on my phone and other times just offering that acceptance and kindness means that I wake up this wise part of myself that's like,

Hey,

Why don't we put that down?

I can do it in a moment of love.

Thank you,

Eva.

Oh,

Ladies.

Wow.

That was we really looked at our phones on this one.

We looked at our phones.

We are looking at phones.

I'm probably looking at my phone right now.

You're not.

I can see you.

I mean,

When this whoever's listening to this,

I'm just letting them know.

You're not alone.

You're not.

And it's all good.

We're right here with you.

Oh,

Thank you so much for this chat.

And we would love to hear what it's like.

What's your relationship with your phone?

Do you have any tips or tricks or anything you want to share with us?

We'd love to hear from you.

Give us your tools people.

What are we going to talk about next week?

Ella?

I'm so glad you asked Danny.

Next week,

We're going to be talking about a five syllable word that we probably all struggle with procrastination.

Ooh,

Tune in.

We're going to be getting in there.

Yeah,

I'll probably just think about it a lot and then never write anything.

Actually,

On second thought,

We might not record that episode.

We're probably not going to get it together.

We'll record it the week after.

Eventually.

It'll come.

Tomorrow will be better.

Tune in.

We love you.

Thanks again for watching.

Reviews

Well it certainly got me thinking about why I use my iPhone so much AND escaping from life. Airplane mode is going on - unneeded addictive apps are going - whole new world without iPhone addiction - like nature walks, writing, reading, music & so much more!

Definitely related to the sense of control, and I really see now how that can feed my anxiety. Thank you so much 🙏
Also wanted to share that my dogs literally will get up on the couch or my lap when I’ve been on my phone for an extended period. Talk about a reality check. My phone is now in grey scale mode! 😘😘😘

Really good fun chat! Thank you lovelies! I love my phone (in a good way!) As it allows me to have insight timer with me, that's my go to app! Love what you said about boredom... I think it's something we used to know how to deal with better in the old days before phones! Being in the moment, observing surroundings, people watching... Much love to you all 💜x

Genuine and useful! Thanks.

This was helpful. I am 66 years old and struggle with the same addiction to my phone that young people do. Comforting!

As always, such a warm and friendly podcasts, allowing us to bring to light our addictions, and not shamed by them.
I really needed this about my phone.
I'm not single, my boyfriend is called Huawei 😂
On a really serious note.
I am going to actually get on with my real life and put my virtual machine down 😍
Much love to you all. You make my life so much better each and every podcast 💛💛💛💛